


Fire and Ice

by XxSynthetic_CyanidexX



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pokemon
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-21 12:37:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 109,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6051924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxSynthetic_CyanidexX/pseuds/XxSynthetic_CyanidexX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ash Ketchum is so close to his dream of being Pokemon Master, but when he receives a life changing phone call saying his mother has been rushed to hospital it turns his world upside down. Being consumed by depression and despair he subconsciously seeks comfort from one person, that being his former rival Gary. AshXGary. Fluffy goodness and a few lemons here and there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How Your Life Can Change

It was strange.

All my life I had been completely consumed by my main goal: To be the greatest Pokemon Master in the world.

Trust me, there had been many a time when even I started to doubt the possibility of that happening.

Well anyway, I was sort of wrong and when I say sort of well... I haven't exactly become Pokemon Master, but I guess I have become something better. During all my journeys through Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and so forth I have met some amazing people, had some rather challenging rivals and made so many great friends. Each and every person all helped me on my quest and helped me understand just what I was aiming for. I do not know what I would've done without their constant support, courage and strength.

However, it was times like the present where I wished they were with me, to comfort me when I needed them most.

But of course, what is the likeliness of that happening? When I am actually in need of a friend no-one is around.

Typical.

Whilst on my journey to become said 'Pokemon Master' I received a life changing phone call from Professor Oak. Lucky for him I happened to be in a Pokemon Centre at the time of calling.

How did he always know where I was? Did he have secret spies everywhere?

"Hello Ash, how is your journey coming along?"

It was weird hearing his voice after so long. Man, I had been away from home for a while now and I knew that when I felt nostalgic listening to the wise Professor's voice. I also knew that something was odd.

Wasn't it meant to be me calling the Professor asking how things were, not the other way around?

"Hi Professor, and yeah it's going great at the moment," I replied jovially.

The Professor had a solemn expression on his face and it kind of made me feel a little sad. It wasn't right to see him troubled, it just didn't seem to make any sense to me.

But what do I know?

It was then I wondered why he had called me in the first place and why he looked so crestfallen.

Shit!

Had something happened to Gary? Was that the big news?

Now, if that was the case I actually have no idea how I would react, I mean it's not like we are best buddies, but we have ditched our petty rivalry for a while now. It seems kind of sad to even think that he could be hurt. I have no idea why, maybe that is my empathetic side.

"Ash... I hate to say this to you while you are obviously enjoying yourself on your adventure, but... I think you need to come back home right away."

I sighed, just barely audible. I hoped he didn't hear that. It's not like I didn't want to go home right now, it was just I was so close to collecting my final badge here and it seemed kind of wasteful to just up and leave. But, if it was serious then I had no choice really.

A slight cold sweat started to consume me. I just put that down to the terrible heating conditions in this Pokemon Centre.

"Why Professor?" I asked, looking into the screen with narrowed eyes. The Professor sighed and looked very troubled at my question.

Man, it must have been really bad to have the great Professor Oak sweating over a telephone conversation.

"Things back here are very out of hand at the moment and we all think you should come home,"

I crinkled my nose at the thought of returning to the quiet town that was my home town. I liked home, it was just I had not been there for some time and I just knew my Mom would never let me leave the house again, even though I wasn't ten years old any more.

"Out of hand? What do you mean by that?" I continued, longing for more answers. It seemed that the Professor was slightly reluctant to tell me the true reason to why I should return home.

Was he just missing me or something?

"I don't want to tell you this over the phone Ash," The Professor expressed defiantly. It was then I started to really think. Maybe it was to do with Gary and the Professor thought I would be too hurt to hear the bad news over the phone.

Had he been hurt somehow?

Why am I thinking this? It's Gary for God's sake! He's way tougher than any one I know. Hell, I would even say he could make Chuck Norris back down. Okay... now I'm being stupid.

"Is it Gary? Did something happen to him?" I enquired curiously, trying not too sound too worried. I didn't want to give off the impression that I was actually very concerned about my ex-rivals welfare.

The Professor looked confused.

"Gary? No, not at all. He is fine as far as I know,"

I inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. Well, at least that was clarified.

"It is far more serious Ash, it is to do with your Mother,"

I felt a sadness well up inside me as he said those words.

My Mom? Was she sick?

If that was the case I would ditch everything to go home and be by her side until she got better. I was a good son like that see, and I loved her. She was my rock in this world.

"Mom? What's happened to her? Is she sick?" I enquired, my eyes obviously giving away how upset I was just to hear that the bad news was connected to her. I watched as the Professor placed his hand to his brow, sighing a little. He too seemed just as concerned as me right now and that did not help my emotions at this precise moment in time.

I also noticed that ever since the Professor had said the word 'Mom' Pikachu had perked up and now was sitting on my shoulder, also feeling as worried as myself. It seems everyone who knew my Mom loved her.

"Well... she has been rushed into hospital Ash,"

Hospital? Oh god, now I knew it was bad.

I hated those places, full of disinfectant smells and the chance of coming out of there with more diseases than you actually had in the first place. Pikachu let out a small "Pika..." in response. I could tell the little guy was also affected by the news.

My heart felt tight in my chest as I couldn't even find the strength to speak right now. So many things whizzed through my head right now.

How long had she been sick for? Why did I not know about this sooner?

"I know you are upset Ash, that is why I asked you to come back home. I think you need to see her and be there for her, after all, you are her only son,"

I felt a lump congeal in my throat.

Why was he making it out like if I didn't come home now I would never see her again?

It made my stomach tighten considerably and I felt slightly dizzy. No wonder the Professor was reluctant to tell me this, I now felt like everything I had achieved was nothing in comparison to my mother's welfare.

"Why... why is she in... hospital? I struggled to ask, feeling my little electric friend nuzzle my cheek softly, trying to offer some form of comfort. It did help slightly, but I couldn't help but allow my body be consumed by this tragic news. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears, but I didn't want the Professor to see me cry. Not like this.

"She has Pneumonia Ash, she was just recovering from having Influenza and then she started complaining about being tired all the time, having violent coughing fits and shortness of breath. I just put it down to her recovering from the Influenza, but I only found out today that it was Pneumonia and she had been rushed into hospital. Mr Mime managed to call the ambulance for her, luckily,"

Hearing all about her condition made it harder for me not to cry. It was my Mom, she was always so busy, so happy and fussing about everything she could. To imagine her in that state hurt me deep inside. I guess it was lucky that Mr Mime was there all the time, if he hadn't have called an ambulance then God know's what would've happened.

Man I don't want to think about that.

Pikachu drooped his ears;

"Pika Pi" He cooed softly, also showing how this news had hurt him too. Just like everyone who ever met my Mother, they all loved her and so it was obvious people were going to be affected by the news of her going into hospital.

"Does... Gary know?" I questioned, looking at the solemn expression of the Professor. I watched as he slowly shook his head and I bit into my bottom lip in frustration.

Typical! Too wrapped up in his own life to even care about anyone else!

Pikachu could sense how my sadness was turning to rage and he placed a small hand on my shoulder, shaking his head in defiance. We both knew that this was not the time to start acting irresponsibly just because of my emotions. I'm sure that he had a good enough excuse, as always.

"Gary is away at another lab over in Sinnoh right now, I am going to phone him shortly after I end this call to tell him the news. Ash, you know he will be just as worried as you," The Professor assured me and I gave a weak nod.

It wasn't like I did not believe the Professor, it was just Gary and I had not seen or spoke to each other for some time now. It just felt as if we were subconsciously avoiding each other and I just wanted to believe he would not care.

I knew he did care, in his own way.

"I know," I mumbled weakly, wanting to end the call and come home right away so I could visit my Mom. I wanted to make sure they were taking care of her, that she was going to get better and that everything would be back to how it used to be.

"Once I phone Gary I too will head down to the hospital to visit her, she needs all the support she can get right now,"

I once again nodded. It was becoming more and more difficult to allow words to come out of my mouth. They were just becoming a strangled mess in my throat and just disappeared before I could actually say anything.

It was then I decided I would find any means of transport to get me back home. The best means right now was probably flying, I could use my Pokemon for that so it wouldn't cost me anything. It was also probably the most efficient way, and I could not just leave this to hang in the balance.

Mom needed me, and I needed to be with her.

"I'll fly over to Pallet Town right away Professor, I can't stay here another minute longer knowing that Mom is fighting for her life in hospital," I choked out, once again feeling water begin to congeal in my eyes.

No, I don't want to cry in front of Professor Oak!

Pikachu nodded, agreeing with my decision. It seemed like he also wanted to ensure Mom was okay. Professor Oak nodded and his expression seemed to change to a more relaxed one. He seemed relieved at my decision, which was odd.

Why would I not want to return home to make sure my Mom was okay?

"Alright Ash, I'll phone Gary right away and I'll look forward to seeing you again. I just wished it could have been under better circumstances,"

"Me too," I returned, sighing a little.

"She is situated at the Hospital in Viridian City so make your way there. I'll see if I can meet you there" The Professor concluded, to which I nodded.

That was settled then.

I was to abandon my journey of becoming the greatest Pokemon Master that ever lived to ensure that my Mom was okay.

See to some people that would sound stupid, but to me it did not.

Without my Mom I don't think I would've got to where I am now. She gave me all the support and courage I could ever ask for, and wanted nothing in return.

She was a pure diamond.

"Alright Professor, see you there"

With those last words in the open air the conversation ended and the machine clicked off.

Stretching out a little I sighed.

It was time to leave and luckily it was still light outside so flying shouldn't be much of an issue. Pikachu had that determined look in his eyes, just like when we were in battle. He knew just as much as I did how important she was to both of us. We were going to make sure she was okay and that she would get better.

With that thought in mind both of us head out of the Pokemon Centre ready to take flight back home, back to the nostalgia of being ten years old again, first starting out on my journey.

I knew it would be weird going back, but I also knew I had to, if not for myself then for my Mom.


	2. Say My Name, So I'll Know You're Back

Viridian City had not changed a single bit since I left. It pretty much looked the same, apart from the odd paint job here and there, but the buildings and the usual crowds were just the same as the first time I ever ventured here.

And here comes the nostalgia again.

Taking a deep breath of the fresh air I realised how different the air here was to where I had been just a few hours previous. Here the air had the scent of fresh flowers and fields, while in Sinnoh it was more of an industrial smell.

Not that I hated the industrial smell of course.

I walked onwards towards where the hospital was situated, Pikachu firmly perched on my shoulder. I smiled a little to offer some comfort to him, but I knew it wouldn't be enough. He was just as worried as I was, perhaps even more so.

I could hear the sounds of my shoes against the cobbles as I continued to walk. Even though it was getting considerably dark now there were still a lot of people aimlessly wondering around town. That did not concern me, my main concern was arriving at the hospital in time to visit my Mom and make sure they were taking care of her properly.

I swear if they wasn't then I would be writing a very nasty letter to them, even though... I had not the faintest clue on how to do that. Some-one like Gary probably wrote them all the time, constantly complaining about how unsuitable something was or just to aggravate them. Yeah, totally like Gary. He liked winding people up, especially me...

I snapped out of my thought, mentally kicking myself. I had no idea why he kept popping up into my head, I mean I hadn't seen him for what felt like years. Actually It probably could've been years.

Maybe that was why I was thinking about him, and the distinct possibility that he could be here in Kanto, AND he could be in the hospital doing what I was about to do.

"Pikaaaaa~" Pikachu whined, his ears drooping as his thoughts obviously kept returning to my Mom. Petting him gently on the head I hushed;

"Don't worry Pikachu, I'm sure they are taking good care of her. I know she will be overjoyed to see you,"

The small electric mouse beamed a huge smile and his ears perked upright once again after I had calmed his nerves. I wished I could calm my nerves. Throughout the duration of this long walk down the street towards the hospital all I had thought about was Gary being in the same place as myself.

What would I actually do if I saw him? Say hello, or just ignore him? Should I even consider making small talk with him, or just keep it short and sweet? Would he actually acknowledge I am alive, or just brush me off? Hell, I have no idea why I am stressing over this! I should be stressing over my Mom! God damn it!

I bit the inside of my lip in frustration. This was not the time to start thinking of anyone else. My Mom was the most important thing right now, so why did my mind constantly think about Gary?

As we walked I felt the cool breeze whistle past my face as evening was turning into night time very quickly. It was a clear-less sky, devoid of clouds so I knew tonight coming home it would be freezing.

Brilliant. I hadn't even brought a coat with me.

Whilst lost in my own thoughts I hadn't even noticed that we had reached our destination. If Pikachu had not squealed in joy and leapt off my shoulder I guess I would've walked straight past. Guess my mind was not in gear right now.

I followed my companion as he scampered on ahead towards the large formidable doors. The whole building was smothered in white making it stand out from the other dull grey buildings scattered around. Even so, it did not calm my nerves when I was about to enter. I also noticed I had not seen Professor Oak, didn't he say he would be here?

Should I wait here for him in case he arrives? Well, I'm not sure... I mean I should go in and see my Mom. Why do hospitals make me so nervous? I think it is just the thought of going in there and coming out worse than before.

I released a sigh which alerted Pikachu. He was obviously more than ready to go inside the building so I knew I had to, even if I was somewhat reluctant to do so. I forced a smile to him and nervously walked up to the giant doors and pushed them aside, walking into what I would class as oblivion.

When we walked inside the building it was just the same as the outside, completely white, and the smell of disinfectant stung my nose. Just how I expected it to be. There were several girl nurses running around helplessly, trying to gather equipment and papers for obvious operations. I swallowed hard, wanting to leave here immediately. The chills that I got from this place made me frozen to the core and I did not like it.

"Pika Pi!" Pikachu called, pointing to what looked like a reception.

Perhaps I had to ask about my Mom before I could see her? I wouldn't know, I don't ever recall being in a hospital, well not what I can remember.

Following Pikachu's advice I walked towards the reception. There was a woman behind the desk, looking at a computer screen and obviously too busy to even notice I was there.

Yes, because I love being ignored, especially when I want to make sure that my Mom is okay. Urgh, I hate hospitals.

I coughed slightly which alerted the woman to me, finally noticing I was standing here waiting. She looked at me over her glasses;

"Yes, is there something I can help you with?"

"Yes, actually. I'm here to see my Mo- ummm, I mean Delia Ketchum," I quickly informed the lady. She nodded and returned to her computer screen.

As if I was going to say Mom to the woman, I bet she would've been so confused by that, quick thinking that I changed it.

"Ah, yes," The lady responded, looking at me once again. Pikachu remained vigilant on the floor, waiting patiently for any news.

"You can go through in about ten minutes, the doctor is tending to her right now. Please, feel free to sit down and wait, I'll call you when you can see her"

She gave me a soft smile, and I smiled back.

Okay maybe I was wrong, maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

Pikachu looked happy too, he was smiling just like I was.

We both made our way to an empty seat and settled down, surrounded by various other people who were also waiting. Pikachu jumped up onto my lap and sat there patiently. I gently stroked his head as I too waited, impatiently I must add. My eyes kept diverting to a clock which hung on the wall opposite to where I sat. I kept focusing on the hands ticking down the seconds to when I could finally see her.

I needed to see her, it had been so long.

"Hey Pikachu," I called to my partner, who looked up at me with large eyes.

"Pi?"

"If Mom is really sick and wants some company, would you stay here and look after her for a while? I'm sure she would love that"

I wasn't exactly sure how he would respond. I thought that perhaps he would not want to leave me and would only want to see her when I did. Weirdly enough he jumped at the chance.

"Pika! Pika!" He beamed, nodding his head. I took that as an obvious yes and smiled. At least now I knew that he would keep her company if I had to leave.

It was so strange, I kept looking at the clock but also at the door. Maybe I was hoping some-one I recognised came through the door? Well, the Professor did say he would be coming to see her. I wonder why he was late? Probably some commotion at the lab, that's usually the reason.

My eyes refused to divert their gaze from the clock as I wished away the seconds and minutes. I had never wanted time to go faster than I did right now. Usually I hated it if time went fast, that was usually because things were over quickly. Right now, I wanted some-one to make time go faster, but to my dismay the longer I watched the clock the longer time seemed to drag on.

"Ash?" Came a voice, a familiar yet slightly nostalgic voice. I knew the voice, yet for some odd reason I couldn't put the voice to a face, or even a name.

"Hey Ash!"

Say my name, so I will know your back and your here again for a while. And let us share the memories that only we can share, together.

Turning my attention away from the clock I felt a part of me freeze, as if I was encased in ice

My own eyes met a sharper, more defined pair with a soft emerald colouring burning into me. A lump started to congeal in my throat as I suddenly found it incredibly difficult to speak.

Now, I usually do not have that problem.

I noticed dark brown spiked hair, just as wild as the last time we met and the attire was a long white lab coat, like Professor Oak's. Only this was not Professor Oak, I knew that much.

"Pika!" Pikachu called out, also recognising the new face in the hospital. At least he could say something, I on the other hand felt like an idiot for just staring at the face of my childhood companion, my former rival, Gary.

"So, you don't want to talk to me Ashy-boy?" He mocked, just the same as the last time. Obviously he had not changed a bit. His usual teasing behaviour snapped me out of my daze.

"Gary? What are you doing here?"

"Oh come on, I know I can be an ass sometimes but not that much. I came here for the same reason as you, to see your Mom. It's weird, bumping into you like this, man you have changed so much since the last time I saw you," He mused, walking over to where I sat and easing himself into the spare seat beside me. I turned my head away and back to the clock;

"I suppose I have, and I know. I didn't think you would be here that is all. I thought you would be too busy at the lab over in Sinnoh,"

"Well, I did have to pull a few strings to get here," He returned, chuckling a little.

"But, I managed to get here, and besides, if it is really serious then I don't plan on going back for a while"

Great, just what I needed. My mind was already overloaded with too many emotions and feelings to do with my Mom and now Gary decides he is just going to add to the pile. Great, just great.

For an odd reason I felt the palms of my hands clam up with sweat, and so immediately tried to hide them from sight. Pikachu still looked happy just from seeing Gary.

Weird.

"So, are you going to stay at the Professor's?" I asked, oddly wanting to know more about this. I had no idea why, maybe I was just curious.

"Yeah, I guess so. Gramp's will obviously want me to help out if he knows I'm back in Kanto," Gary mused, looking thoughtful as he too stared gazing at the clock.

Once again I bit into my lip.

Here he was, my childhood companion and ex rival and we were in the same room as each other, talking about random things. I don't think that had ever occurred before, well, usually Gary taunted or teased me to no end. Perhaps he was maturing with age, after all, we wasn't ten years old any more.

"What about you? Are you going to stay in Pallet Town?" He asked me, turning his attention to me. My eyes met his for a few moments before returning to the same spot on the wall.

"I suppose so, if Mom is really sick I don't think I could just up and leave again," He nodded in response.

"That is true. Man, if something like this happened to Gramp's I have no idea how I would cope," Gary mused once again, relaxing in the chair slightly.

Well right now I had no idea how I was coping with this. Perhaps it was the thought that it wasn't too serious and that she could be fine after a few days? But, if she wasn't then would it finally start to sink in?

I could only muster a weak nod as I continued to pet Pikachu's head, settling him down to a calmer level. Seeing Gary for the first time in ages obviously seemed to excite the little guy.

"Anyway, how is your journey coming along?" Gary asked me, trying to create some sort of conversation with me.

How odd, I thought it would be me doing that.

I shrugged;

"It's going okay I suppose, I have to get one more Gym badge in Sinnoh then I can challenge the League,"

Gary smiled at me as I said those words. Even though we used to be rivals it wasn't like we lost complete respect for each other. Having Gary as a rival kind of pushed me to become better than him, and thanks to having that constant push I finally got to where I wanted to be.

"Do you miss battling, like getting badges and fighting Gym leaders?" I asked him when I saw a nostalgic look on his face. He gave a half hearted chuckle;

"Sometimes I do, but I know that my passion is on Pokemon Research more so than battling. Everyone says I'm following in Gramp's footsteps, but it is something I want to do. I haven't been forced to do it,"

It was still incredibly odd to witness Gary as a researcher and not a trainer any more.

While lost in our deep and surprisingly meaningful conversation the lady who I spoke to previous walked over to me, smiling. I hoped I could see Mom now, I was worried sick. She better be getting better by now, I hated thinking of her so ill and fragile, it was so unlike her.

"You can go through and see her now, the doctor has issued her a blood test, and a chest radiography to see the severity of the illness. You should be fine to stay with her for a while,"

I turned to look at Gary who had already beaten me to a smile. That was great news, at least I could see her and hope she would get better with time. Hopefully the blood tests would clarify some things that they were unsure of.

I stood up, Pikachu quickly leaping off my lap onto the ground.

"Thank you so much," I said, smiling widely. Gary stood up alongside me, obviously wanting to see her just as much as myself. Even Pikachu looked happy too, eager to get into the room to see her.

"Please, if you'll just follow me," The woman informed, walking ahead of us. Both Gary and I obediently followed like dogs, what can I say we were well trained.

We both walked in silence down the narrow white washed corridors as the smell of disinfectant stung my nostrils for a second time. Crinkling my nose in disgust I thought.

It was strange, being in the hospital and going to see my Mom with my childhood companion. I never even imagined I would see him here, it seemed so weird. Not that I was actually complaining, to be honest it was good to have some-one to talk to, to take my mind off the stressing subject of my Mom being terribly sick. Okay, now I know I am going crazy, saying Gary was good company? What was going on in my head?

As the lady stopped in front of yet another white door she continued to smile at us. Obviously we were at the destination and my Mom was beyond this door, probably longing to see me. She had not seen me for quite some time and it had all been my fault. If I had not got so wrapped up in becoming Pokemon Master then I could've spent more time with her before she got so sick.

"Please go inside, but try not to exhaust her. She does need lots of rest and fluids,"

"Okay, I understand. Thank you," I issued kindly, smiling at the lady who took her leave and silently walked away down the corridor leaving Gary and I waiting outside the door.

I swallowed hard, finding it more difficult to open the door than I first thought.

"You feeling okay?" Gary asked, looking at me through perplexed eyes, narrowed in thought. I quickly nodded, feeling my hands clam up once again as they reached for the door handle.

"Yeah, I think I'm just worried about what state she is in,"

"Your Mom is a fighter Ash, she will get through this. Just you wait and see," Gary comforted, his stern gaze softening to something which was alien to me. So alien in fact I felt my face burning, like it was on fire. Immediately my first reaction was to place my hands to my cheeks to cool them off. Gary watched everything I did, which did not help matters.

"Yeah... you're right," I mumbled, attempting to cool off.

Oh my God! As if I just totally blushed in front of him! What the hell is going on? It's Gary for crying out loud! Urgh, maybe it's because of all my emotions being a complete and utter mess because of Mom. Yeah, that has to be it. But, still, the way he looked at me... it said something. I don't know what, but it made me go all weird and then I blushed. Man, I'm such an idiot.

Regaining my composure I breathed in sharply and tried to open the door open again. My hands reached for the handle, pulling it down and swinging it to. As the door swung open my eyes beheld the fragile image of my Mom in a pure white bed, with pure white sheets and a pure white gown.

All this white was making me dizzy.

I just stood there, breathing in the scenery. She was hooked up to some weird machine that beeped occasionally and a mask was placed over her mouth.

"Are you going to go in?" Gary asked, looking at me over my shoulder. I tensed up for a moment but relaxed when I saw Pikachu bound in the room and leap onto the bed. His face beamed of pure joy and that made me smile. At least now I had the chance to be with my Mom and make sure they were taking care of her.

"Yeah, of course," I answered, walking into the room, feeling a distinct chill in the air as I entered.

Gary followed me as I walked closer to where she lay, her eyes closed and her breathing heavy and raspy. My heart started to sink like a wounded battleship in my chest. Seeing her so frail, like she would break if anyone touched her just did not seem to fully register in my brain.

Don't worry Mom, I'm here now. Gary is too, and Pikachu. We will all make sure you get better. We all care about you so much and will do anything to make sure you come out of this alive. After all, I only have one Mom in this world, and luckily for me she happens to be the best Mom I could have ever wished for.


	3. You Saved My World And Guided Me

I sat beside her bed, silently watching the monitor. The soft beeping noise to indicate that her heart was still with us lingered in my ears and offered a subtle comfort. Another obvious presence that surprisingly was offering me comfort was the fact Gary was here, sitting beside me and supporting me.

He had no idea how much I valued him being here.

"Hey Mom," I mumbled weakly, taking one of her pale fragile hands into mine and bringing it to my lips. Pressing a soft tender kiss on it my eyes continued to watch her face. She was struggling to breath peacefully as she continued to wheeze and whistle through her nose.

It pained me to witness this.

Pikachu sat on the bed, ears drooped. He obviously hated this as much as I did.

"Chu..." He whined, looking at her colourless face. The illness was almost sucking the life out of her.

"I'm here now," I choked out, fighting back the urge to cry. It was horrible, seeing her so devoid of life, and that sparkle she once had was now not visible any more.

I watched with bated breath as she weakly opened her eyes, her breathing still raspy as she beheld my breaking image. I could see she was trying to smile, but she did not have the strength to manage it.

"Ash... my... sweetheart..." She muttered in a whisper, struggling to form any words.

"Don't talk Mom, it's okay. We are all here, look, Pikachu, Gary and me. We all want you to get better," I consoled, keeping my grip on her weak and fragile hand like it was the only life line I had in this world.

Gary nodded in unison with Pikachu.

She tried to smile, but it was obviously draining her of energy and so refrained from doing so.

"Don't worry Delia, I'll make sure that Ashy-boy is looked after while your in here," Gary teased, making me give him a stern glance.

This was so not the time for this! Stupid Gary, and what does he mean looked after? Is he going to take on the motherly role or something crazy like that? Urgh, the thought is making me want to vomit.

I watched as she gave a weak nod, obviously trying to speak to us, but her voice failing on her countless times. Her raspy breathing seemed to be getting worse the longer we stayed in her presence and it made me feel guilty.

She did need all the rest she could get and while we were here she would not be able to do so.

"You never change do you," I growled quietly at the emerald eyed boy, who just smiled at me.

"Well come on Ash, your Mom basically does everything for you. With her not being around you are going to need some-one there for you,"

I continued to hold her fragile hand in mine as I looked at Gary's face.

Well, he wasn't teasing this time, in fact I was almost sure he meant this.

"So what are you going to do? Move in with me?" I joked, chuckling after my words. I watched as Pikachu snickered too, obviously feeling a little better after seeing my Mom.

"Well, I was going to propose that," He returned, making me tense up immediately.

Whoa, whoa back up! Gary just said that he WANTS to move into MY house while Mom is away? What the hell is wrong with him? I mean, come on, this is Gary. Ex rival Gary who always winds me up and teases me to no end. God, I would end up killing him if we lived together. Even so, why does the thought make me feel incredibly nervous at the same time?

I felt my hands clam up with sweat while holding my Mother's and swallowed hard. It seemed too weird to be living in a house with another guy while everyone was away. Even Pikachu looked worried.

"Well, I... Ummm..."

I struggled to think of a reasonable excuse that would not make me sound pathetic. A part of me wanted Gary to stay with me, I mean it would be better than sitting at home in silence, but another part wanted anything but that.

I wondered why.

"Truth is, I don't really want to stay at Gramp's and have him sniffing around me, asking me to do everything for him. I thought if I stay with you there is a less chance that will happen,"

I looked at him and once again he was telling the truth. His eyes looked slightly sorrowful as they turned their gaze from mine and his hands rested uncomfortably in his lap.

So, he wanted to stay with me not only to make sure I had a friend, but so Professor Oak would not harass him?

It was starting to make more sense in my mind now.

"I don't mind if you want to stay, but I think you better ask my Mom, it is her house after all," I informed, continuing to smile at my old childhood companion. He nodded and turned his attention to the frail woman lying deathly still in the pure white bed, hooked up to various machines that beeped occasionally.

"Delia, if it is alright with you, can I stay with Ash at your place until you get better? I think it would be good if he had a friend to talk to right now,"

Suddenly I felt my hands let go of my Mother's out of sheer shock of the words he just said. They made him sound like he genuinely cared about me. The more my mind started to dwell on the words the more I felt my face begin to burn up.

Blushing again? Seriously? God damn it why? Why won't my body function normally around him?

Cursing mentally at myself I watched with bated breath as she once again weakly opened her eyes and gave a weak nod at his question.

Gary smiled in return and looked across to me. I hoped my blush was now not visible, that would not be good if he saw me blushing like crazy.

"Pika!" Pikachu called out, trying to get my attention. I turned to my little yellow companion who was pointing to himself then back at my Mom. I smiled;

"Yes Pikachu, you can stay here with Mom,"

"Pika Pika!" He called out in joy, his face beaming with the biggest smile I had seen for a while.

"It seems Pikachu is really attached to your Mom huh?" Gary stated, looking from Pikachu to me. I gave an indecisive nod.

"He is just worried about her, and wants to be here for company," I returned.

After a few more minutes in the company of my beloved Mother, the lady who had shown us the way here entered the room quietly. All eyes burned into her small slim figure as she gave us a warm smile.

"Alright boys, she really needs to rest now. You can visit her tomorrow if you like,"

A part of me felt as if it had just died.

We had to leave now?

We had not spent that long in here, about 20 minutes and already we were being told to leave.

"Alright, thank you," Gary issued to the lady who once again left the room, quietly closing the room behind her.

Grumbling to myself I stood up, moving the chair I had sat on to the side so I could get round the bed easier. At least Pikachu could stay here, luckily for him this hospital had no queries about Pokemon being with the sick at all times. It would be more of a comfort than a burden.

"We have to go already? So not fair," I grumbled angrily, watching as Gary stood up also, moving his chair to the side.

"Your Mom needs her rest Ash, you have got to understand, and besides, we can see her tomorrow,"

I thought about it.

It was true, there was always tomorrow, and tomorrow was a new day which would bring a change of events. She might be feeling better tomorrow.

That was a positive thought.

I looked at Gary and nodded. Of course he was right as usual. I walked over to Pikachu and gently stroked his head;

"Now you be good and look after Mom, if anything bad happens come get me," I informed.

"Pi, Pikachu!" He replied, making a salute gesture in response. Again I stroked his head before turning to leave the room. It seemed more difficult than I had ever anticipated, turning my back on my Mother and leaving her to the abuse of the machines seemed inhumane. I had no choice though, after all, she needed her rest.

Quietly I waved a goodbye to my Mom, who by now had drifted off into an uneasy slumber and left the room, with Gary hot on my heels.

Once we left the white washed room and made our journey down the narrow corridors I shoved my hands in my pockets. They had started to clam up again and I did not want Gary to see it. The thought of him taunting me right now did not seem favourable.

"So looks like you're stuck with me, Ashy Boy," Gary teased, putting his arm around my neck and squeezing me hard against him. I flinched at the contact and the thought he had teased me yet again, just like the old days.

"Yeah, unfortunately," I mumbled.

Gary still had me pulled against his side as we walked, but it was in an uncomfortable embrace. He was taller than I was so walking like this was a handicap, and we looked like drunken idiots.

Weirdly enough Gary did not seem to care about the weird glances we were given, and the foul gossip that was rife in the hospital reception. Myself, on the other hand could feel the negative impulses from the gossipers draining my life energy away and I hoped the ground would just open up and take me away from this nightmare.

"So, what do you want to do later?" Gary asked me, allowing me free from his grip. I adjusted my shirt on my shoulder and rubbed my arm as I responded;

"I have no idea, as long as you don't do that again then I am sure anything will be fine,"

He chuckled and I scowled. Spending all this time with Gary was now slightly daunting, however a side of me wanted nothing more.

Great, stuck with Gary for God knows how long. How am I going to cope? I mean yeah, It will be great having someone to talk to, but I don't think I am going to enjoy the constant aggravation he causes me. Even so, I cant help but get flustered thinking about it. Is it because it feels so wrong? I don't know, I don't even understand myself let alone Gary.

As we stepped outside of the hospital the cold rush of wind immediately attacked my body, causing a violent shiver to cascade through me.

Man, I forgot how cold it would be at this time of night.

My eyes looked at the sky. As expected, it was devoid of a single cloud so the temperature was going to be cold, if there were clouds it probably wouldn't of been that bad.

"Are you cold?" Gary enquired curiously as I turned to face him.

Was my uncontrollable shivering that obvious?

I rubbed my bare arms briskly and shook my head;

"No, I'll be fine,"

He raised an eyebrow at my words;

"Come on Ash, you don't have to lie to me,"

Mentally I cursed myself for being so obvious around him. It was like he knew everything about me, what I was feeling, if I was upset or happy, what I wanted in life and how I would react to situations.

Oddly enough Gary probably knew me better than I knew myself.

I stood motionless, continuing to shiver violently as the wind refused to give up it's constant assault on my body.

"I think we should get a taxi back to Pallet Town, it is late after all, and I don't like the idea of us walking back in the freeing cold," Gary mused, trying his best to locate a nearby taxi rank. I weakly nodded, trying my best to keep as warm as I could.

I really should have brought my coat with me.

After a few seconds of constant shivering I felt something being wrapped around my shoulders to keep the onslaught of the wind off my back. Staring at this new object it revealed itself to be Gary's lab coat.

He had just willingly gave it to me!

"But, Gary you'll freeze to death!" I protested, even though I continued to pull the coat over my body to gain some warmth.

"Don't worry about me, I'm a lot tougher than you are," He jeered, bobbing his tongue out at me.

At that moment I really wanted to rip it out of his throat. See, this is what I don't get with Gary, one minute he is really kind and comforting and the next he reverts back to his usual cocky self. Urgh, it drives me insane!

Glaring at my Ex rival I decided against starting World War Three and so settled into the soft warmth of his coat. It even had Gary's distinctive scent plastered all over it so whenever I inhaled all I could smell was him. It actually felt as if he was the one holding me, protecting me from the cold.

I bit the inside of my lip in annoyance.

I needed to stop thinking about things like that, it wasn't doing any good for my health right now.

Gary seemed to have found a taxi rank and started to dial the number into his phone. I just watched him the entire time, not knowing what else I could do. He waited a few seconds before obviously some-one had answered;

"Hello, can I order a taxi please?"

Again another pause.

"To Pallet Town,"

Hang on, who was paying for this taxi? Well, I can't, I have hardly any money on me as it is. Great, we are just going to have to runaway when we leave and hope we don't get caught. Now why does that thought feel kind of exciting?

I yelped a little which made Gary turn to face me. He rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the phone.

Subconsciously I cursed.

How could I actually yelp like a dog in front of him? I thought I only did that in my mind!

This situation was bound to get a hundred times worse.

"Ten minutes? Alright, thank you," Gary said politely and hung up the phone. He glared at me through narrowed emerald eyes.

"What is up with you?"

I turned away, feeling like a prize idiot. Coming up with any excuse I lied;

"I stumped my toe,"

He blinked curiously, and then started to chuckle;

"How do you find it possible to injure yourself when you are standing still?"

My stomach started to knot and it felt like Butterfrees were flying riot, causing a tingly sensation to consume my body.

His laugh, it made me feel strange and not in a bad way.

It was hard to explain.

"I'm an idiot I know," I mumbled, pulling the coat further over my shoulders as time lingered on. Gary smiled and gently nudged my arm playfully;

"Yeah, you said it,"

This time I didn't feel like pummelling him into oblivion, even though he had mocked me for the millionth time tonight I just started to laugh. My own laughing caused him to laugh too and soon enough we were in fits of hysterics outside the hospital, laughing until our sides ached.

Maybe living with Gary won't be so bad, perhaps we could get along and learn to live together. Even so, the thought of being ALONE with him in my house still makes me feel a little uneasy. Is it because I subconsciously seek comfort from others? I suppose that the thought of seeking comfort from Gary is a little nerve racking. Still, he was the one who suggested staying with me so I'll just let things go it's course. But one thing I was almost certain about, I think I was starting to like Gary more than I ever expected.


	4. If I Tell You, Would You Listen?

The taxi ride home was surprisingly silent and it was making me feel a little nervous. I had no idea whether it was the deafening silence that caused my apparent heartache, or the fact that Gary had not uttered a single word since we had gotten inside.

His lab coat was still tightly draped over my shivering shoulders and I clung to it like a lifeline. It still smelt of him, luckily.

My eyes gazed out of the window, aimlessly watching all the scenery pass us by. I wished he would just talk, even if he would just tease me or mock me, it would be better than this.

Had I upset him maybe? Ever since I thought to myself that I might like him more than just an Ex rival, or former childhood companion things seemed to be different. Was it awkward between us? Man, I hoped not. It's not like I was in love with him or anything.

"Gary... are you okay?" I asked cautiously, turning my gaze to his as the taxi went over a bump in the road causing me to leap up in fright. He smiled softly and chuckled;

"I think I should be asking you that question,"

I scowled and folded my arms;

"There is nothing wrong with me, so what I got a little spooked, big deal,"

He continued to smile at me so I ended up turning away once again, looking back out the window at the scenery.

The taxi driver was deathly silent and just kept himself to himself, much to my delight. I didn't want some stranger enquiring about us, that would really make things awkward.

It was now I noticed that it was beginning to rain outside, the water droplets smeared on the window pane as I grumbled.

Now I was going to get soaked as well as cold. Great, just great.

I could not help but occasionally steal a glance at a very reserved Gary, who just sat with his head rested back against the seat, his emerald eyes looking up at the ceiling of the taxi.

Was something on his mind?

"You know, if things are troubling you, you can talk to me. I know I might not be much of a help right now, but it does help to talk to someone," I consoled, watching as the spiky haired boy looked right at me. He seemed almost shocked at my outburst, and to be honest I shocked myself as well.

"I am fine, just thinking about some things," He replied.

"Like what?" I enquired curiously, receiving a raised eyebrow in response.

"Nosey aren't we?" He mocked.

I felt my face twist into discontentment once again. Sometimes I wished he would just be straight with me. I wasn't being nosey, I was just genuinely concerned, but I wasn't going to let him know that.

Shuffling my body so I had my back facing him I turned to the window once again and sighed.

My heart was starting to feel incredibly strange. It seemed that being with Gary, like this, just the two of us was making my emotions run a little haywire. I even wanted to cuddle him a few times and it had crossed my mind, but I digressed. If I actually did that he would probably knock me out there and then. Come on, it's Gary, he is hardly the sensitive type is he?

Whilst lost in my own thoughts I felt a nudge in my back. Slowly and somewhat reluctantly I turned around, my eyes focusing on Gary's face. It was not as stern as I was used to, in fact it was soft and kind, and even sincere. He smiled at me;

"Come on Ashy-Boy, don't be like that. Sometimes I just like to keep things to myself and sort them out in my own time,"

I looked away, once again feeling my face start to burn.

I wish he would stop calling me by that name, for an odd reason it always made me blush like a damn pansy.

Nervously scratching behind my head I replied;

"It's okay, I just wanted you to know if you need to talk then... I am here,"

I felt his long narrow fingers gently tousle my hair as his chuckled;

"Silly, I already know that,"

The blush on my face intensified and instinctively I moved my head away, using my own hands to flatten the hair he had so willingly messed up. Once again he chuckled at my actions.

It is bad enough that I am sitting so terribly close to him, and now he goes and tousles my hair? Does he know what that does to me? God damn it! I just wish these thoughts would go away, ever since I heard of the news about my Mom I have just been constantly melting like ice under his flame and soon I was bound to turn to mush. It was inevitable.

As we finally reached my house Gary kindly paid the taxi driver and we stepped out into the abomination that was Mother Nature's fury. The rain was hammering downwards like a waterfall on my head, so instinctively I placed Gary's coat above my head.

Well, I had to keep some of my body dry.

Gary did not seem to care much about the rain and once he had paid the driver we made out way to my front door. Hurriedly I snatched my keys from my jeans pocket and rammed them into the lock. I needed to get out of this incessant rain and dry off, also Gary was just getting soaked to the bone and did not seem to have a single care in the world.

"How can you just stand there and get soaked?" I questioned the taller boy. He shrugged;

"It's only water Ash, it's not like I'm going to burn and melt away if it touches me,"

I rolled me eyes.

I asked a stupid question so I got the stupid answer. Typical.

As I turned the key in the lock I quickly pushed the door open and we both walked inside the dark house.

My arms reached around the wall for the light switch and eventually found it releasing a ray of light into the walls. I breathed in the scent of home and it made me suddenly feel nostalgic. I hadn't been home in such a long time, and everything was exactly how I left it, it seemed Mom wanted everything to be the same for when I came back.

It was times like this where I missed her most.

"Do you mind if I grab a towel to dry my hair?" Gary asked, interrupting my melancholy thoughts. I nodded and watched as his slim, and now, very damp figure retreated to the bathroom.

I released a sigh, wishing Mom would just appear out of nowhere and start fussing over me like usual. Of course that was not going to happen.

Removing Gary's extremely wet lab coat I hung it on the radiator to dry off. It was the least I could do.

"You alright? You seem kind of off with the fairies," Came a soft and familiar voice.

I turned my attention to direction to the voice to meet Gary's figure, rubbing his spiked hair with a towel.

Weirdly enough I was starting to feel strange, like slightly aroused? No, no! This is not how I am feeling! I mean, I guess... seeing him like that kind of caught me off guard, or something. Yeah, that was definitely it.

"Ummm... yeah I'm... good," I mumbled, diverting my gaze away from him and deciding to settle my body onto the sofa.

I needed to preoccupy my mind right now, it was not good that these demonic and also very WRONG thoughts were creeping into my mind.

Absent mindedly I grabbed the remote and switched the television on, hoping to find something to bore the emerald eyed boy with.

"You're acting strange, is it something I have done?" Gary continued bombarding me with unanswerable questions. I winced and bit the inside of my lip.

"No, I guess I am... just tired," I lied, trying to flick through the channels to take my mind off him.

Every hair on my body stood on edge as I felt him sit beside me, a little too close for comfort. I swallowed hard and tried to ignore it, continuing to find something to watch. Gary eased into the comfortable embrace of the sofa as he stretched out, obviously glad he had the opportunity to rest after a long day.

"Go to bed then," He returned to me. I glanced at him, watching how he had his head laid back on the sofa, eyes closed, looking so relaxed and at ease.

Go to bed? It was just not possible, not with these thoughts crowding my mind, and besides I could not sleep knowing Gary was here. He was the guest after all.

Fidgeting nervously with the remote in my hands I decided to conjure up a rational excuse for not wanting to sleep yet, even though it was actually pretty late.

"You're the guest, it's not like I can just let you sleep on the sofa,"

Gary looked perplexed at my comment;

"So where am I going to sleep? And more to the point, where are you going to sleep?"

I wanted to kick myself for saying this, and usually I would never give up my bed for anyone, but seeing as it was Gary I decided to let him have it;

"You can use my bed, I'll sleep here,"

I heard him chuckle as he continued to relax on the sofa. Slightly confused I raised an eyebrow at him.

What was so funny?

"Wow, I must be special if you're giving up your bed for me," He teased, continuing to chuckle. I scowled in annoyance.

He just had to spoil it didn't he?

It was about five minutes after I had stopped messing around with the remote I had finally noticed I had left it on a horror film, and I hated them. They always made so so jumpy, and with Gary around that was not a good thing.

"Shut up, I'm just being nice," I replied callously, turning my stern gaze to the television, trying to hide the fact I did not actually want to watch the film, but anything was better than melting under his fiery gaze.

I wonder if he had any idea about what I was currently feeling? Actually, did I know what I felt? Was it all in my head, or was this actually real? I never actually ever felt proper feelings for anyone, not even Misty, or May, or even Dawn. I just put it down to me being fussy when it came down to girls, but this was different. With Gary I could be me, and I know he would torment me for life but I could deal with that. He accepted my flaws, and that was something I loved.

I settled a little more into the sofa's embrace, doing my utmost to ignore the fact that Gary was sitting right beside me and I could easily feel the warmth that generated off his body.

It was both unsettling and comforting at the same time.

Ruffling my hair a little I yawned quietly, obviously feeling the effects of the long flight here and the long day at the hospital. Gary had also noticed;

"Do you want me to let you sleep?" He asked, looking at me directly in the eyes. I shot up right, trying to hide the blush that I felt creeping across my face once again

"NO!" I accidentally called out, making the emerald eyed teen jump.

"-I mean... no, I am alright," I returned, trying to hide the real reason why I did not want him to leave just yet.

I knew that with him here the house did not feel as lonely as it would if he were to leave, I would not feel his warmth or know that he was right beside me. I would feel the chill of loneliness begin to consume me, and I knew that was something I hated.

"You are one strange kid, you know that?" He teased, once again ruffling up my hair playfully. I just accepted it this time, trying my best to not scowl at him and just try to lighten up, even if it was very difficult. The noise from the television was merely in the background as the only thing that seemed to have my attention right now was him.

"Tell me something new," I returned, trying to smile to show that nothing was wrong, that I was feeling fine.

If anything if I went to sleep I would've preferred actually sharing the bed, not just because I would want to be near him, it would just be for comfort. After all, it was kind of cold all alone down here. Man, saying I want to share a bed with a boy makes it all sound so gay.

About an hour passed and Gary and I just talked to each other to pass the time. I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could before he retired to bed and if that meant talking about random things then that was the plan.

Soon enough it was midnight and we really needed to get some sleep otherwise we would be no good for anything in the morning.

"Well, I better get some sleep," Gary said, albeit rather sleepily as he yawned loudly. I gave a weak nod, knowing that I actually did not want him to leave, but I was not that selfish to make him stay.

I watched as the tall slim figure of my childhood companion stood up and stretched. I found my eyes meeting the carpet in sadness.

I wished at times like this I could just open up and tell someone exactly what was going on through my messed up mind right now.

"You're sleeping here?" He enquired and I nodded;

"Yeah, I'll be fine don't worry,"

I forced a smile and luckily for me he mistook it for genuine as he smiled back.

"Alright then, I'll see you in the morning. Try not to let the sofa bugs bite you Ashy-Boy" He teased, bobbing his tongue out before he left the room leaving only me in it.

My body immediately felt extremely cold without him being beside me, or at least knowing he was here. Suddenly I felt alone, and I did not like it. As I turned off the television and got up to switch the light off I wondered to myself.

Would I actually be able to sleep knowing Gary is in my room? Why couldn't I just tell him? Would it actually be that bad? I mean, if I said 'Gary, I kind of like you' do you think he would go mad at me? Yeah, he so would, he would so punch me for sure. I think I'll stick to this self inflicted pain thank you very much.

As my fingers gently switched off the light switch and darkness consumed the room I felt my heart begin to sink once again.

Why was it so hard to just say that? It's not like I loved him or anything, I just liked him, and that could be as a friend.I was pretty sure at this point though that it wasn't, I mean people don't pine like dogs after their friends, not even their best friends. This was something more than that.

Sighing I found my way to the sofa and settled down, my ears detected the rain lashing against the window pane in sheer anger. I was almost sure it would actually break through the glass and assault me even more.

Go on Mother Nature, give me your best shot! Nothing you an do can make me feel any worse than I do now.

Cursing at my stupid emotions I laid my head down on the pillow and tried to get some rest, even if it was extremely difficult. A tall, emerald eyed boy kept weaving his way into my mind about a thousand times, preventing me from actually drifting off to sleep. I just accepted that tonight there was no way in hell I would be sleeping.

Throughout most of the night I had constantly drifted in and out of consciousness and it was starting to aggravate me. I loved my sleep so when I could not sleep it annoyed me to no end. All I wanted was to be at ease, yet my stupid mind wouldn't even allow that.

Sitting upright I allowed my eyes to get used to the dark void that had consumed the room, it was now I noticed that the sound of the rain was a lot quieter than it was a few hours previous.

At least that was a relief.

I wonder, is Gary sleeping right now? I bet he is, he has no idea what he does to me, it is so unfair. Why can't I be more like him? So reserved and cool, not letting anything bother him. Me on the other hand I freak out or get flustered about anything. Stupid damn emotions.

Glancing in the direction of the stairs I swallowed hard.

A part of me wanted to see if he was actually asleep, and if he was what would I actually do? I could not just stand there and watch him like some sick weirdo, that is just not me.

I bit into my lip, my limbs wanting to just climb up the stairs and see his face once again, to be near him even if he was asleep. I guess I just wanted comfort, and I felt lost when he wasn't at my side.

Deciding in my mind I stood up and started heading towards the stairs, feeling my stomach knot with every step.

Was I making the right decision here?

My heart seemed to get heavier and heavier as my feet came into contact with each step, trying to be as silent as possible. I could feel my hands starting to clam up with sweat as I thought more about what he would say to me.

Would he think me to be stupid to want to be close to him?

I swallowed hard as I stood outside my own door, breathing in deeply to steady my nerves.

What if he wasn't asleep? What would I do then?

Nervously I pushed the door to and looked inside.

The room was entirely covered in a black veil, apart from the soft moonlight that entered the room through a gap in the curtains. Lucky for me that moonlight was right on Gary's face, illuminating it for me to see. He was asleep, his hair all messy and his mouth slightly ajar as he slept, blissfully unaware that I was watching him. One of his arms was placed just above his head as he slept on his back, facing towards me.

All I did was smile, it was actually kind of endearing to see him so relaxed and almost cute when he slept.

Great, Gary looks cute when he sleeps. Now I won't get that image out of my brain for a long time. The way his mouth opens just a little, the way his hair messes up all over the pillow and how relaxed he looks. It is just... so God damn cute!

Placing my hand to my face I felt a cold sweat begin to consume me the longer I stared at my former rival. All I longed for was to be beside him, being near him while he slept and breathe in the fact he would always be here for me.

That was what I needed right now.

Whilst lost in staring at him sleeping I hardly noticed when his eyes actually flickered open and he rubbed them in a sleepy daze. Looking up at me through narrowed and tired eyes he mumbled;

"Ash? Is that you?"

I swallowed hard.

Great, he is now awake and probably wants to know why I am here. What the hell am I going to say?

"Ummm... yeah it is," I muttered, scuffing my feet on the carpet nervously.

I watched as he sat up, still looking as sleepy as ever and squinting to make out my figure in the dim light.

"What... are you... doing here?" He questioned, yawning loudly after his words.

I fidgeted on the spot, not quite knowing what I could come up with.

"I... couldn't sleep," I answered honestly, my head bowed down to look at the floor. I knew he would think I was a complete and utter idiot.

"Well, come here then," Gary said, sitting bolt upright in the bed.

Oh my God! As of this is actually happening? Did Gary just invite me to sleep in the same bed as him? Does he know how awkward it would be for me to sleep beside him and not want to snuggle him in comfort? Dammit!

Pausing to gather my nerves I slowly walked over to the bed, feeling my face burn the closer I got to the emerald eyed boy.

As I sat on the edge of the bed I shuddered suddenly. The realisation that I was actually going to share my bed with Gary was one thing, but it was only a single bed which meant there would not be much room for both of us.

The thought of us being close was starting to make me clam up with sweat.

"Ash, is there something wrong?" Gary asked, obviously concerned as I had just sat on the edge of the bed for like five minutes, just contemplating my next move.

I turned to face him and smiled, eve though I predicted he could not see me clearly.

"I am fine, don't worry,"

The moonlight illuminated his face perfectly so I could easily see every reaction on his countenance. His features were so relaxed and so at ease, he just looked so cute in that sleepy daze.

Uneasily I got into my own bed and lay down on the same pillow I used to sleep on when I was a lot younger. It was so nostalgic to sleep in my old bed and not have to sleep in the PokeCentre or in a tent.

As I rested my head and tried to steady my nerves I felt Gary also lay down beside me.

"You know, if you actually had said that you did not want to sleep alone I wouldn't have minded," Gary informed, now allowing his eyes to look upwards at the ceiling. Turning to him I replied;

"Seriously?"

"Well yeah, I mean you are like my best friend so I won't go mad at you will I?"

I could not help but smile, even if he was completely oblivious to how he made me feel this was good enough. Settling down a little easier into the embrace of my bed I closed my eyes, continuing to smile;

"Best... friend?" I mumbled quietly, liking how that sounded. I felt Gary shuffle a little so his back was facing me, obviously ready to sleep.

And as slumber was beginning to finally consume my body I heard him mutter;

"Best friend..."


	5. In The Darkness My Heart Aches At The Sight Of You

The feelings that ignited my body burned like a fire that I could not control. Looking up into narrowed yet beautiful eyes I felt my heart start to pulsate harder and faster, almost ramming itself against my ribcage, abusing my feelings to no end. Hot, yet tantalising breath washed over my skin causing it to melt like ice as I could not suppress my heated groans of desire.

Just seeing those eyes, the way he looked at me with a hunger that needed to be satisfied and how I could feel the warmth of his body against mine wanted me to just give in and allow him to take me.

I wanted to be Gary's, that was all I wanted.

"Ash..." He whispered, that fiery hot breath reaching for my rather sensitive ears as I felt him begin to gently tease me to no end with his tongue, softly and slowly.

Closing my eyes I could feel my breaths hitching in my throat as I longed to whine out his name and whimper under his control.

He wanted me to be his, and I could not quite believe it.

"Ash... I know how you feel about me," Gary whispered into my ears, already sensitive enough due to his abuse and I felt a shiver of Goosebumps erupt all over my body. Trembling slightly I opened my eyes and stared right into the core of emerald green ones, seeing the passion that consumed them almost made me mewl.

"You... do?" I asked, almost in a whisper as he started nuzzling my over sensitive neck, gently nibbling at the tender flesh causing a muffled groan to escape my lips.

I could feel my own body begin to writhe in lust against his, longing for more friction and more contact to take away this agonising sensation of overwhelming pleasure. He nodded against my neck as that hot breath returned to consume me entirely;

"I know you want me," He whispered seductively, now allowing his tongue to assault my neck, gently nibbling and suckling just enough to stimulate my feelings.

I released a soft moan, feeling my arousal get harder the longer he teased me to no end. I just wanted him to take me right now, I wanted him more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life.

"G-Gary..." I murmured, struggling to keep composed as he assaulted my sensitive neck, making his signature trademark so the whole world would be aware that I was his forever.

Not that I minded at all.

Whilst lost in the throws of passion I felt his hands begin to trail down my trembling body, his fingers gently caressing every sensitive patch of skin to cause me to whine and whimper in pleasure.

He was obviously enjoying this, torturing me.

His narrow and slender fingers trailed down to my waist, hooking them inside my jeans and trying to undo them whilst continuing to abuse my neck.

"G-Gary... what are you...aahh~!"

I groaned, feeling that his hands had wandered far enough and had found the treasure they had been seeking all along. He had now stopped creating his trademark on my neck and just looked into my eyes. Emerald orbs sparkled in the dim light as lust was written all over his features.

He wanted me too, it was quite obvious.

I tried to keep my mind focused on his eyes instead of the job at hand but it was useless. The feelings that were being created by the motions of his hand on my arousal were too delicious to not want to give in to. Throwing my head back into the soft pillow I cried out;

"Oh God~!"

"I'll be gentle Ashy-Boy, I promise," Gary whispered.

I could once again feel his breath on my face, closer than ever before and whilst lost in the feelings that were consuming me entirely I felt a soft pair of lips connect with mine. His were hot and burning like fire while mine just melted under his flame. I continued to breath heavily into his mouth as he assaulted my arousal, continuing to ensure I was tormented enough to not be able to take it any more, and I knew it would only be a matter of time.

As both our mouths opened whilst lost in the kiss I felt his demonic tongue that once abused my neck now entering my mouth, trying to over power my own. Even though my willpower was wilting like a dying flower I was not going to give in.

Wrapping my own arms around the taller and older boy I pulled his body closer to mine as the heat that emitted from us both shrouded the room in a soft blanket of velvet passion. His tongue continued to fight with my own, trying to win this battle, but I was not going to give in.

As the occasional moan continued to escape my own lips my tongue delicately entwined with his in a sort of courtship dance.

I had never expected a night with Gary, my Ex rival and childhood companion to be so God damn erotic!

"Aahh... Gary~!" I cried out, breaking away from the kiss as the pressure building in my stomach was getting too much. His hands were so agile and good at what they were doing so it was only natural to get so flustered and worked up.

"Don't you like it Ashy-Boy?" He teased, running his tongue down my neck and over my Adam's apple. I swallowed hard, trying to fight the urge to scream right now.

How was Gary so good at this? Had he had practise?

"I... do... G-Gary.." I murmured quietly, closing my eyes once again and my own hands wondered down the older boy's body, feeling all the smooth and subtle ridges of his spine all the way down to his waist. Tugging gently on his jeans I was sure it indicated that I too wanted some part of this abuse, it was unfair to let me take it all.

Surprisingly, with his spare hand Gary aided me in taking off his jeans, which caused my face to burn furiously.

Here he was, Gary Oak, with no jeans on or a t-shirt.

It was like Christmas and my Birthday was here all at once.

"Here, let me help you," He whispered, grabbing one of my hands and placing it underneath the material of his boxers and around his own throbbing arousal.

I whimpered at the contact of feeling another boy's erection, it was strange yet extremely erotic. I could not help but release a small moan at feeling just how warm and inviting it was.

Instinctively I followed what Gary was doing to me and copied his actions.

The heat that was emitting off our sweating bodies was almost seen to the naked eye as it was slowly beginning to steam up the windows with condensation. Groaning softly Gary trembled underneath my touch, resting his forehead against my shoulder;

"Aahh... Ash... don't... stop,"

To hear him whimpering just like I had been doing a few minutes previous was very delicious to my ears and I decided to quicken the pace. As I did that he copied me, quickening his actions on my arousal, which by now was throbbing and pulsating underneath his gentle touch.

I knew I wouldn't be able to hold out for much longer, I was so close to the edge and all I needed was that gentle push.

"Oh God... Gary~!" I cried out, throwing my head back against the pillows and closing my eyes tightly as my body stiffened.

I knew it was coming and very soon.

"Ash... I... uhnnnnnn.." He groaned against my shoulder, breathing deeply as I knew he too was suffering just like I was. Feeling my own actions quicken up as my desire to release was extremely prominent I could feel Gary's body trembling violently due to the pressure building up.

It would not be long now.

As his fingers tightened around my arousal every stroke sent me spiralling towards oblivion, and with half lidded eyes I gave into my orgasm entirely;

"Gary... Gary... GARY!"

Suddenly I leapt up, waking myself up with own voice.

Did I just shout out loud?

Using the back of my hand I wiped away the sweat that smothered my forehead. I could still feel how fast my heart was racing inside my ribcage, thundering violently as realisation started to sink in.

SHIT SHIT SHIT! I just had dream sex with Gary Oak! GARY FRIGGIN' OAK! Oh my God...

Quickly turning my attention beside my figure I noticed, thankfully, he was not here. Good job for me he was a light sleeper and so would naturally be awake earlier than myself.

I breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that he did not know about my passionate dream sequence involving said emerald eyed boy. That would definitely ruin our friendship, and I was determined never to let him know about this.

As I placed my hand back down I noticed that I felt slightly wet. My eyes looked underneath the bed sheets and then it hit me like a rock.

The wetness I could feel was because of that dream, that stupid, yet, oh so damn erotic dream.

Biting into my lip in apprehension I could not believe that Gary had caused me to have a wet dream over him, I thought I had grown out of that. I had not suffered with this since I was like about Fifteen or so, but that dream did feel extremely real so it was only natural for my body to presume so.

Even so, I can't just leave on these soiled boxer shorts, that is a definite no! What if Gary comes in and sees the wet patch? It isn't going to take a genius to figure out what had caused it. Man, I'm so stupid.

Sitting upright and easing my body out of bed hastily, I walked over to the bedside table and opened one of the drawers. Luckily for me I kept spare boxers close to my bed at all times in case of emergency, and this sure was some emergency.

Whilst hurriedly removing the incriminating boxers that were covered with my criminal antics I retrieved some black ones and put those on instead. It was a relief to think that Gary would be none the wiser to my dirty dreams, and that we could carry on living together as best friends.

Oh man, who am I kidding? I don't think I am ever going to be able to look at him in the same way again, I mean for Christ's sake I had dream sex with him! It's not everyday you dream about doing sexual antics with your former rival and 'supposedly' best friend! Every time I look at him I know I will end up thinking back to that dream. I have no idea what I am going to do...

Combing my fingers through my messy hair I decided it would be beneficial if I actually found out where Gary was, knowing him he was mostly likely reading a newspaper or something.

Totally like Gary.

As I sat back on the edge of the bed and pulled out a clean T-shirt from my bedside drawer my mind kept assaulting me with mental images.

Gary leaving marks on my neck, the way he kissed me, the way he touched my...

Snap out of it Ash! Good grief, anyone would think that you're obsessed with him!

Pulling on my T-shirt and putting on my jeans from yesterday I tried my utmost to prevent my overexert mind from thinking about such devilish acts, especially if Gary was around.

He was not stupid nor naïve and he could easily read me like a book. I had to play it cool and casual around him, to not let on about this otherwise my reputation would be in ruins.

It took approximately ten minutes before I could muster the courage to see if Gary was actually still inhabiting my home. For all I knew he could of actually left without saying anything, but my suspicions proved me wrong.

As I entered the living room my eyes detected Gary's taller and slim figure, resting in the embrace of the sofa. From the looks of it he was reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. I could tell it was coffee because of that intoxicating stench.

"Good morning sunshine, so you finally decided to get your lazy ass out of bed, huh?" Gary mocked, turning his head around to see me.

I scowled, already feeling like I wanted to just leave the room and return to my bed, at least there things weren't so annoying.

"Shut up Gary, don't you ever give it a rest?"

"Now where is the fun in that?" He returned, giving me a coy smile.

I sighed and decided to sit beside him. As my body came into contact with the soft embrace of the sofa I noticed that Gary had not only made a cup for himself, but also a cup for me. It was still hot too as the steam was still billowing out of it like a steam train.

I could not help but smile at his generosity.

"By the way Ash, while you get ready to see your Mom again at the hospital I was going to pop around Gramp's place to pick up some stuff so I can stay here for longer. You know, clothes, money, that sort of stuff?"

I just looked at the emerald eyed boy, who was entirely consumed by the newspaper in his hands.

Wait, he said while I get ready? I was ready! That cheeky little...!

I reached forward to grab the cup of coffee that steadied my nerves somewhat. The comforting warmth that it generated into my skin was actually kind of soothing. Before taking a sip of the addictive liquid I replied;

"Yeah alright then, that's cool,"

As I drank from the cup Gary looked at me with a raised eyebrow over the top of his newspaper.

"That's 'cool'?" He repeated.

"Yes, that is what I said," I returned, placing the cup back down on the table.

He scoffed at my remark and turned to reading the paper.

I so wanted to smack that smug look right off that damn pretty face! Why couldn't he ever be serious with me? See, this is the biggest problem with guys like Gary, you think you know them and that they actually might be a nice guy and then, BANG! They revert back to type and you're back to friggin' square one all over again!

"Hey Ashy-Boy, I think this will be of some interest to you," He said playfully, showing me the page that would apparently grab my interest.

And grab my interest it did.

It was an advertisement, informing the readers that a carnival was being held at Viridian City over the next few days.

I could not help but smile, I loved festivals and carnivals, all those prizes to win, all that food you could eat and all the fireworks that would illuminate the sky. It was just perfect.

"Wow, it looks great!" I said, the enthusiasm obviously heard in my voice.

"Well, considering you do need to take your mind off things, I was going to suggest that we go there tonight. You know, just to unwind and relax a bit,"

I turned my attention from the page to Gary's, surprisingly serious expression.

Was he being serious? Gary was never one for lots of crowds or commotions but he wanted to go there, with me? I never would of though it possible.

I just smiled, genuinely happy that Gary had suggested something so nice for the two of us to do together. We could go after we had visited Mom in hospital, especially if it had been a bad visit. Festivals and carnivals always cheered me up.

He snatched the newspaper from my hands;

"Alright then, that is settled,"

I blinked curiously.

"Oh and one more thing," He returned, looking into my eyes once again, staring right into the core of my soul.

I swallowed hard.

"Yes?" I replied, my voice slightly shaky. He smiled coyly at me;

"Why did you shout my name earlier? It sounded kind of desperate if you ask me,"

My whole body froze as if I was encased in a block of ice.

Crap in a bucket! I wasn't expecting this! Gary heard me? Now I was going to get found out for sure. Wait! Think of an excuse, think of an excuse...

"I...had a bad dream," I lied, breathing an inward sigh of relief. The look on Gary's face said it all to me.

He was as bewildered as a Spinda.

"A bad... dream?" He repeated, trying to search for any inclination on my face that I was lying.

I had to keep up the façade or lest him find out about my dirty dream sex sequence.

That was not a possibility.

"Y-Yes... I dreamt that... you died,"

Phew, he will never figure out the real reason to why I shouted now, good going Ash!

Gary's emerald eyes sparkled as he continued to just stare at me, then after a few moments he started to chuckle and return to reading the newspaper.

"You are so silly, like that is going to happen. Come on, it's going to take something really bad to kill me off" He joked, giving me a playful wink to which I could feel my face start to burn violently once again. Turning my attention back to my coffee cup I reached for it and tried to steady my nerves.

Even though I actually hated lying to Gary it was necessary this time, I mean if he found out that I had that dream he would probably assume I am Gay or something.

Which I am not! For the record, just because I had that dream it doesn't prove anything... does it?

Taking a small sip from my cup I waited until I thought my blush faded and then decided to start up another conversation with him.

"So, did you... sleep well?" I asked, not actually caring if he did to be honest. Gary was a light sleeper so it probably was not much of a concern for him.

"Yeah, it was alright, but seriously... do your feet follow anyone you share a bed with?" He answered, giving me a stern glare.

I jumped up in shock.

Seriously, did that actually happen?

"Well I... I... don't know..." I mumbled shyly, continuing to hold my cup as a lifeline right now. Gary turned the page of his newspaper and released a small sigh;

"It's not like it was a bad thing, just, kind of weird. I mean, if it wasn't for your feet touching me in the middle of the night I probably wouldn't have known you were there,"

I felt my grip on my cup intensifying.

As if I allowed myself to do something so child like such as that.

Although, it was odd how Gary seemed to be perfectly fine with it. Looking downwards the cup in my hands I muttered;

"I am sorry,"

"Meh, don't worry about it. It's done now,"

For an odd reason I just could not look him in the face right now, I just felt like a complete and utter idiot for allowing my body to act on impulse and behave so appallingly. And it only behaved like that when I was in the vicinity of Gary, every other time it would be fine.

Strange.

Gary suddenly closed the newspaper and placed it down on the table and retrieved his own cup of coffee. As he took a sip I watched him. He just seemed completely unaffected by this, even though deep within I was so apprehensive of what he would do if he found out my true feelings.

After a few moments of awkward and uncomfortable silence between us, the tall and slim figure of Gary stood up. I just watched every movement he made, still clutching my cup like it was a matter of life and death. He turned to face me;

"Well, I am going to go see Gramp's and get some stuff. Why don't you call one of your friends and tell them about your Mom, I am sure they would all be just as worried as you are,"

I looked at the cup in my hands. It was a valid point to make after all, all my friends who had met my Mother all loved her just as much as I did so they deserved to know.

"Yeah, you are right. I'll phone them," I replied. Gary nodded.

"You do that, I won't be that long, unless Gramp's captures me and makes me do all his work for him," He chuckled at his own comment and I could not help but smile.

It was weird seeing these changes in Gary's personality, one minute he could be an obnoxious brat, but other times he could be so sensitive and kind hearted. It was weird how one person was like that.

Of course I was easy to read, like an open book and it was always easy for Gary to know what I was feeling or how I would react. That is why he constantly annoys me, he knows exactly what buttons to press, in every sense of the word.

I bit my lip in annoyance at my own thoughts.

I have got to stop thinking about Gary like that, after all, it is totally obvious that Gary is as straight as a die and there would no way he would ever consider liking or fancying another guy. It was just not his style.

My eyes watched as the emerald eyed boy waved a goodbye to me and slipped out of the front door, casually closing it behind him.

Sighing I placed my coffee cup down on the table and flopped backwards onto the sofa. My eyes scanned the ceiling as thoughts started to race in my head.

What did I actually feel for Gary? I mean, it's not like I have ever had dream sex with a man before, this was obviously a one off. But still... I did get excited about it, and it did cause me to make a mess in my boxers. Does that mean something? Even so, what if I did like Gary? There is no way he would ever like someone like me, I mean look at me. I am hardly 'boyfriend material' am I?

Oh well, I guess I need to sort out these annoying thoughts and feelings at some point. Maybe if I phone Brock and talk to him, that might help ease my tormented soul a little? Yes, that is a great idea. I'll phone Brock, after all, if he knew about my feelings for Gary he would be the one person who wouldn't turn his back on me. He was after all, a true friend.


	6. I Confess...I'm Always Afraid And Always Ashamed Of What's Inside My Head

Gary's POV

Walking out of that door when I knew full well that Ash was going to be all alone in that house was probably the dumbest move I have ever done in my entire life. I had no idea why I even said I was going to leave, I didn't even want to see Gramp's and get some more stuff.

To be honest, I would've been fine.

Sighing in both anger and frustration I slammed the front gate with all my might, alarming the Mr Mime in the garden. Glancing over at his direction I sighed again.

Damnit, what the hell is wrong with you Gary? You are not meant to act like this, get a grip on yourself! Ash is your friend, you are supposed to be there for him and help him out. But no, instead you go and act like a complete and utter jerk to him just to hide how you really feel. Good going there.

As I walked down the street back to the lab my mind was a mess with thoughts.

It was weird, I thought that when Ash wanted to share a bed with me I would immediately go nuts at him and tell him to get lost or something. But I didn't, instead I foolishly allowed it to happen so he could screw with my head some more.

Shoving my hands in my pockets I felt the cooling breeze gently waft around my face and then disappear once again. It was times like this when I wished I knew what to do, the usual jerk act was not going to help me out right now and especially since I knew that it was hurting me in the process.

'For God's sake Gary, forget about Ash. Just concentrate on sorting your head out before jumping into the deep end,' I thought to myself, chuckling at my own thoughts. I believed it was too late already.

That one night with Ash, even if it was just sharing a bed it had turned my world upside down. I actually liked knowing he was beside me weirdly enough and to be honest, I wouldn't mind that happening again.

Yeah, only this time could I actually control my hormones? It is so stupid, to think that I, Gary Oak, who used to have a clan of blabbering fan girls following me everywhere might have the smallest crush on my old rival. Preposterous! Okay, maybe not so, but still it's never going to happen. Ash is just not the type to find other men attractive, everyone knows he is straight so I should forget about any ideas that concern him.

As I walked briskly down the street my eyes depicted the large building that was Gramp's laboratory. Nostalgia hit me like a rock in the face as it stood in my line of vision. It had been sometime since I had been here, the last time I returned was to drop off Umbreon so he could play with the others. Maybe it would be a good idea seeing my trusted companion again, seeing him always helped when I needed to vent.

Combing my fingers through my spiked hair I walked up to the front door and steadied my nerves. I must admit it was incredibly weird to get nervous around the laboratory you grew up in, but maybe I was nervous in case anyone else found out about my little crush on Ash.

That would totally ruin your image there Gary.

I gently rapped my knuckles on the door and waited for a response. Usually it took approximately three to five minutes for Gramp's to open the door, he was so wrapped up in his work sometimes it was unreal.

So, I decided to wait and leaned against the wall, my head resting against it as my eyes looked up at the cloudless sky. Yet another beautiful day, not a cloud in sight and it was pleasantly warm.

Good job too, me being the idiot I am forgot to retrieve my lab coat didn't I?

I sighed. It was all Ash's fault, if he had not distracted me then I would have remembered it.

"Ah, Gary, what a pleasant surprise!"

I heard my Gramp's voice in my ears which immediately made me stand up straight from the wall and look in the general direction of the door.

There he was, he hadn't changed a bit.

Okay, well maybe a little, of course people get older and stuff but, you know what I mean.

"Hey Gramp's," I replied, feeling the nostalgia return to me as I said those words. I used to say that a million times when I was younger, it felt so odd to say stuff like that now. He smiled at me, obviously happy that his devoted Grandson had returned to help him out with all his work.

Think again.

"What brings you here? I heard you were in Sinnoh, I didn't think you would get back here so soon,"

"Yeah, I was. I went to see Ash's Mom in the hospital because I was worried," I answered, feeling his narrowed eyes burn into me. I just knew I was going to have a million questions thrown at me, questions that I probably did not want to answer. Gramp's placed a hand to his chin;

"I see, was Ash there?"

"Yes he was, Delia is really ill Gramp's, she has Pneumonia,"

It was when I said the word Pneumonia that it finally sunk in. Having Pneumonia was extremely bad and if not treated properly or not having essential operations that could result in death. How would Ash cope then?

I don't think I could stand it if he broke down because of that, I mean yeah, I'm not overly sensitive and I sure as hell don't let people see this side of me... but still, if that happened I don't know how I would behave towards him. I just know it would crush him and not even I would have the answers for him.

I sighed at the thought only to be alerted by Gramp's voice again.

"Have you and Ash had a catch up? Where are you staying at the moment?"

I bit into my lip in annoyance. I didn't want to tell him that Ash and I were shacked up in his house, that would just mean he would know where I am if he needed help.

I needed a break from research.

"Ummm... yeah I did, but then I ran into an old friend on the way, and so I am stopping with... her, and I've come here to pick up some clothes and stuff," I lied, wanting to kick myself for saying the word 'her'.

Why did I even say that?

I knew that this would just arouse more suspicions and more annoying questions.

"'Her' you say, anyone I know?"

I looked at Gramp's, he was smiling, but it still did not ease my thoughts right now. What the hell was I going to say?

You made your bed Gary, now you have to sleep in it.

"No, I met her whilst in... Hoenn," I continued lying. The thought of Gramp's finding out that his Grandson was staying with another man just kind of made my skin crawl. I knew he would probably be disappointed, but even so I was not prepared to take that risk. He continued smiling at me;

"Ah, I see, what is her name?"

My heart sunk like a wounded battleship at sea.

Oh shit, well done there Gary. You have really dropped yourself in it now haven't you? Bravo, bravo.

I scratched the back of my head absent-mindedly, trying my hardest to think of a fake name that would be plausible. To my annoyance the only name that kept cropping up was Ash. I couldn't say that, that would be too obvious so I needed to keep thinking.

I couldn't think for long however, Gramp's eyes were burning into me like he knew something was wrong. I needed to blurt something out.

"Her name is... Ashleigh,"

Clenching my fists at my own stupidity I could not help but constantly insult my brain for thinking too much about said brown eyed boy.

That is what you get when you can't think straight.

Luckily for me Gramp's did not seem that shocked;

"Well isn't that a coincidence! I bet when you talk to her you must get very confused,"

He chuckled and I found myself chuckling too, not at his comment though, at myself.

Stupid stupid brain, I will get you for this.

"Yeah, anyway Gramp's are you just going to leave me outside or are you going to invite me in?" I said, trying to bring out that side of my personality everyone knew, the side that tormented and teased Ash to no end.

I watched as he nodded and moved to the side to allow me access. I walked inside the laboratory, knowing that this place would be exactly the same as when I left it, Gramp's didn't like change.

As I walked inside I saw that the place was as messy as I remembered, papers were strewn everywhere, cups of coffee that were half full and had obviously been left there for a few days were scattered around and everything was just like I remembered it. It was actually nice to come back home and see nothing had changed.

"Ah Gary, I just remembered something important that I wanted to tell you about,"

I stood stationary as I watched him sit down into his armchair.

"Yeah, what?"

"It's about your Umbreon,"

I didn't like where this was going. Was he hurt or sick even? Feeling panic begin to consume me I accidentally called out;

"Is he sick, or hurt, or even..."

"Calm yourself Gary, it isn't that serious," He chuckled, taking a sip of one of the cups that lingered nearby. I wasn't even sure if he should drink that stuff anyone, he left most of it.

"Then what is it?" I questioned, wanting to know what the hell was wrong with my Umbreon. I hated to think that something bad had happened, after all, he was my companion and we had been through a lot together.

Gramp's smiled at me as he placed his cup back down.

"Well, to put it briefly, your Umbreon took a liking to another trainer's Espeon while it was here, seems they really had some connection and a week ago I found an egg, seems like your Umbreon now has a baby,"

My eyes widened, not in horror but in shock.

As if! I leave my Umbreon out of my sight for a while and he goes and gets another Eeveelution pregnant, that dirty scoundrel!

Even so, the prospect of having a baby Eevee to look after was actually kind of sweet. I did love Eevee's after all, they were just so unique and reminded me of myself.

Yes, okay, I was blowing my own trumpet here, get over it.

"The egg hatched a few days ago and it is a girl Eevee, she is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I was going to phone you and ask you if you wanted to keep her, but I guess it must have slipped my mind,"

He chuckled at his own stupidity and I could not help but laugh too. It was only natural that Gramp's would become more forgetful with old age, that was one of the drawbacks of life.

Even so, a baby Eevee?

"Yeah, I'll take her," I answered, not even having to think about it. Having a female baby Eevee was a major breakthrough, it was actually very rare to find Eevee's who were girls. There was no way I was going to give her up.

"I thought you would say that," Gramp's returned, looking at me through his narrow yet kind eyes.

He stood up and motioned towards me to walk out into the fields were he kept all the Pokemon. I obliged and followed his lead, actually kind of excited to meet this new arrival.

I wonder what Ash will say when I bring the Eevee to his house? I bet he will be overjoyed, after all, he does love any Pokemon. Maybe, Eevee and Pikachu could spend time together, I suppose she hasn't had much interaction with many Pokemon right now.

I crinkled my brow as I continued to keep thinking about Ash, about that naïve and yet, somewhat cute brown eyed boy. Clenching my fists I cursed my brain yet again.

It seems like I am constantly ashamed and afraid of what goes on in there, some of the things I think about are just not like me.

I needed to get a grip and pretty damn fast.

As we both walked out into the fields my eyes scanned the vast area. There were so many Pokemon here and a few I recognised. I recognised Ash's Bulbasaur and Squirtle, playing a few yards from where I was situated.

I smiled, remembering the times when he wouldn't go anywhere without those two. It seemed that with time Ash had learnt to broaden his horizons and practise using a wider range of Pokemon.

"Here she is,"

Gramp's voice snapped me out of my apparent daze and I looked in the direction he was speaking. In his arms he held the small Eevee, curled up with half lidded eyes. It seemed like she had just woken up.

Weirdly enough I felt overjoyed at seeing her and how cute she was. So innocent, so naïve, and so cute.

Just like someone else I know.

"I'm guessing she is still kind of shy, no?" I asked, receiving a nod from Gramp's.

"It took a while for her to trust me to pick her up so willingly, but I think your Umbreon helped out with that one,"

I turned my attention to my old partner, he was sitting beside his mate, but had obviously noticed me. It was nice to see him so content and happy, so if Umbreon could find happiness then would I be able to?

How odd, that my Umbreon actually managed to find love and have a baby. I never even believed that would happen, maybe that is because I don't think about things too often. Even so, just looking at this baby Eevee I know that if he can do the right thing then I should be able to as well.

Gramp's outstretched his arms and handed me the small ball of fluff. She didn't even make a murmur as I held her delicately. She just yawned and looked up at me with large brown eyes.

I felt a smile crawl across my face as she continued to stare at me. Even Gramp's was smiling.

"I think she will be fine with you, she seems to trust you already," Gramp's noted to which I remained silent and just held her. She settled into my arms willingly, as if she was extremely comfortable with me. Perhaps Umbreon had spoke to her about me or something.

Whilst I held her the feelings that were starting to cascade into my brain were strange, it was like I was a dad.

Weird I know, but it was! I had bought Umbreon up and now he had created a new life and here I was holding that life. It just made me feel all strange, and weird.

Deciding that it would be best not to hold the bundle of fluff for too long I handed her to Gramp's for a moment. I couldn't just stand here admiring the new addition to my team, I needed to get my clothes and stuff ready to return to Ash. I said I wouldn't be that long, and yet I had succeeded in being here far longer than I first thought.

I bet he was having some sort of breakdown.

Don't flatter yourself Gary, I am sure Ash will cope just fine without your sorry ass around. You probably just make things worse anyway.

"Gramp's, I am going to go grab some things from upstairs. Can you look after her while I am gone?" I asked, knowing what the answer would be. He smiled;

"Of course,"

I nodded and retreated out of the field.

As I entered the laboratory again and started walking up the stairs I kept receiving visions, or day dreams to use a better word. My day dreams were entirely consumed by a certain someone however and it was driving me to distraction. I just wished that my brain would give it a rest sometimes, it could not be helping my mental state of affairs.

As I entered my bedroom I noticed that nothing had changed, Gramp's had left it exactly how it was the last time I was in here. Even the fresh pile of laundry was still stacked up on my bed.

Now this was convenient.

Grabbing a rucksack from my wardrobe I decided to put some spare clothes in, after all, if I was staying with Ash then I would need a change of clothes.

As I busied myself with this task my eyes shot a glance to my bedside table. My memento of my childhood, that half of the Pokeball that Ash and I fought over when we were little just stood there, staring at me in the face.

Upon seeing it I could not help but think of him, again and so sat down on my bed. Outstretching my hand I grabbed the item and just looked at it.

Man, I remember that. Ash was so stubborn, and we used to fight a lot. Actually, he is still like that, only we don't fight that often. Well, we have grown up a lot since then, is that why I feel like I do?

Holding the half Pokeball in my hands tightly I looked downwards at the carpet, just thinking.

Ash had really affected my life more than I ever imagined, my mind constantly kept thinking back to him. Even when we were rivals and I used to write those stupid messages on sign posts 'Gary was here, Ash was a loser', I only ever did that to get some kind of reaction out of him.

It made me feel like he actually cared.

I sighed, deciding to take the half Pokeball with me, I'm sure if I showed Ash this he would remember those days too. It could start off a good and intriguing conversation.

Who am I kidding, like I just want to talk to him... I would be a total liar if I said that. Although I have admitted to myself that I have a crush on him it doesn't mean that he has any feelings for me in the same way. I could just be acting like an idiot and making a fool out of myself. That is why I don't plan on ever telling him, unless I lose my mind. That is possible.

Grabbing my rucksack I placed the half Pokeball inside and zipped it up. I was all set to return to Ash so we could visit Delia in hospital. I wondered if she was okay and if the doctors were actually helping her, if it was getting worse I knew Ash wouldn't take the news very well.

Good job I was there to save the day then.

Placing the rucksack on my back I headed out of my room once more, taking one final look around it and breathing in the sights of my childhood. Smiling to myself I closed the door and headed down the stairs.

"Ah Gary, this little one seems to be all edgy right now,"

Gramp's voice alerted me at the bottom of the stairs. I looked at him with wide eyes until staring at the baby Eevee. She was squirming and whining in his arms, I just knew she felt uncomfortable.

"Give her to me then," I returned, holding out one arm to the small Pokemon. Gramp's nodded and obliged.

The Eevee leapt out of his arms and landed into mine, snuggling against me immediately and calming down significantly. I just stared a her with wide eyes, not quite believing that I had the power to calm down this little one. Gramp's chuckled;

"Seems like she won't settle for anyone else now," He remarked.

This was time to allow my arrogance out.

Smiling I replied;

"Well of course. Once you have the best you don't want anything but the best,"

To my amazement he chuckled at my comment, and here I was thinking that I would get that look, you know, the look your family gives you if you are bang out of order.

"Just make sure you look after her, she is a quiet one after all,"

"Course I will Gramp's, who do you take me for?" I questioned. He shook his head, still smiling at the banter we had going.

"I suppose you are on your way now?" He asked me to which I nodded;

"Yeah, I got to drop off my stuff at Ash...leigh's place and then we are... going to the carnival,"

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank goodness I never said Ash, I didn't want him to know about this yet. I wanted to make sure that what I felt was actually real, and not some façade. It was hard to tell at some points.

The Eevee snuggled against me and cooed softly;

"Veeee..."

"Ha, seems like Eevee likes the idea of going to the carnival too," Gramp's stated. I smiled at the small brown ball of fluff, that just sat stationary in my arms.

It reminded me of when Umbreon was an Eevee, only he was more confident and outgoing, this little one was shy and retiring.

"Yeah, anyway Gramp's I'll see you later, I really must get going," I issued, making my way towards the front door, backpack in tow and Eevee in my arms.

I felt like I actually was leaving home. He nodded and walked with me to the front door, that kind smile never leaving his face.

"If your in the area you know you are always welcome back here, Umbreon would love to see you again,"

I smiled. Seeing Umbreon was great, and what was even better was discovering that he made this beautiful little fluff ball, and that she was so willing to come with me.

"I will, don't worry about it," I assured him.

As we waved our goodbyes I headed down the oh so familiar street and back towards Ash's house. The Eevee was still snuggled against me, her tail hanging just over my arms. As I walked I kept thinking about things, mostly about Ash.

I wonder what he has been up to while I have been gone. Probably sleeping again knowing him, God he is such a lazy ass sometimes. You'll never catch me doing that. But then again, Ash cannot aim to achieve perfection like myself. Okay, who am I kidding, I am not perfect. How can I be perfect when I don't understand how I feel?

I hope tonight will be good, at least Ash and I get to go out and spend time together, we could even watch the fireworks. Ha, since when did I get like this? Wow Gary, you have totally mellowed with old age, you need to get your fight back. But, I don't think I can. My fight has gone, and it is all because of you, Ash.


	7. Here I Am Still Tangled Up In You

I held the receiver of the phone close to my ear with bated breath. It had took a lot of effort to muster the courage to actually confess to Brock about the whole 'dream sex' thing, even though I still had not told him yet. There was an uncomfortable pause on the other end.

"What is it that you wanted to tell me Ash?" He asked, his voice sounding sincere as always.

I bit into my lip, the receiver shuddering in my quaking hands.

Was this the right thing to do? I knew that Brock was not one to judge, but still, confessing something like this still seemed morally wrong.

"Well... I..." I started, feeling a lump congeal in my throat.

"Yes?" He pursued, trying to edge me onwards to tell him.

Closing my eyes I tried to steady my nerves. It wasn't like Gary was watching me or listening in the conversation, but still, it was unsettling.

"I had..." I tried, still failing to find those words I longed to express. Whilst fighting myself to spill out my emotions I heard Brock say with a quiet voice;

"...you had sex?"

Jumping up in shock I bellowed;

"NO NO! No... nothing like that!"

I heard him chuckle on the other end of the phone and my face just started to burn furiously.

Now, it was not the fact Brock said it was about sex, but when he mentioned it my stupid mind just pictured Gary. Urgh... great, this is so bad. I never thought for one second that my small crush on him would ever escalate to this level. Okay Ash, stay calm, you just need to tell Brock what is on your mind. He might be able to help...

Trying to calm down my nerves that were making my hands tremble I decided I needed to stop being such a wimp and grow a pair. Brock was not going to slap me down for liking anyone, even if it was a guy. Perhaps I feared about him finding out that it was in fact Gary who I liked.

"Well, if it isn't that, then what?" Brock pursued, being incredibly patient on the other end of the phone. Using my free hand I combed my fingers through my hair before taking a deep breath.

Come on Ash, you can do this!

Closing my eyes I blurted out;

"IhaddreamsexwithGary"

"What? Sorry, I didn't catch that, can you slow down?" Brock replied, making this even worse to deal with.

Pacing up and down the living room I was starting to get anxious, it would just be my luck if I said it out loud then Gary just comes walking in and hears everything.

No, I had to be brave, I had to take a risk sometime in my life.

Inhaling deeply I continued to attempt to muster up courage.

"I... had dream... sex... with Gary" I mumbled, feeling terribly ashamed.

There was a pause which caused me to cringe.

Great, so he was offended after all. Brilliant, you just ruined your friendship there,

Whilst lost in my own woes I heard him laugh on the other end of the phone, which made me slightly confused. I didn't think this was a laughing matter.

"Oh come on Ash, who hasn't had dream sex with Gary?" He joked, making all the fine hairs on my body stand on edge.

What Brock had just said made me feel a little nauseous.

Was he implying he had dream sex with him too?

"Are you serious!" I bellowed, causing the male to laugh once again;

"Ash, it is a figure of speech. I am not saying that I personally have, I am just saying that it probably happens to lots of people, it doesn't necessarily mean anything,"

I breathed a sigh of relief. Knowing that my dream probably didn't mean that I was actually gay was a great weight lifted off my shoulders. Even so, I was happy, but a part of me felt sad.

"Oh, well that is a relief," I answered, pausing in my pacing and decided to sit down on the sofa.

"By the way Ash, is everything okay at home?" Brock asked, which reminded me about asking him to visit my Mom in hospital. Having all my friends for support would greatly help me right now.

Clutching the receiver tightly I returned;

"Well, no, actually my Mom is in hospital and I am going to go and visit her soon. I would really appreciate it if you could get hold of Misty and both of you could come with me"

There was another pause.

"Man, I hope your Mom is okay. Sure, no worries. I'll see if I can phone her and tell her about this. Yeah, we would definitely come and see her, which hospital has she been referred to?"

Hearing all this news about my Mom was making me depressed again. Sighing I answered;

"Viridian City Hospital,"

"Yeah, that should not be a problem. Hopefully we will see you down there,"

A weak smile spread across my face.

It would be so great if Brock and Misty, my two oldest friends could actually be there when I needed them most. Yeah I know Gary would be there, but seeing them again might just help me out a bit.

Combing my fingers through my hair once again my eyes darted to the clock on a nearby wall, Gary had been gone 30 minutes and I was certain he would be back any time soon.

"Anyway Brock I have to go, I'll hopefully see you at the hospital later,"

"Yeah, I am sure you will. Take care Ash,"

And with that the conversation ended.

Placing the phone down on the table I sighed. When I had no-one to talk to it got very lonely in this house. I knew Mr Mime was in the garden but you couldn't really hold much of a conversation with him.

The one person I longed for was not around right now, and that very thought that invaded my head caused me to flop back onto the sofa. As my eyes traced the circles on the ceiling I could not help but wonder a few things.

Would there ever be a time to tell Gary? We had plenty of chances because we were alone most of the time, but I am coward and I never have the guts to say anything. I bet he is oblivious to how I feel, or it could be the opposite! What if he knows and he is just screwing with my head? Yeah, that is totally like Gary.

Rubbing my forehead with my hand I started to get restless being all alone in the house, devoid of Gary's annoying, yet heart warming presence. I never thought that I would miss him tormenting me and aggravating me, but I did.

As my eyes glanced at the clock again I released a sigh and decided to rest a little and just wait until Gary came back.

When I opened my eyes once again and they had re-adjusted to the light in the room they immediately diverted to the clock. Gary had been gone over an hour now, and I was starting to panic.

Sitting upright many things rushed through my mind, causing a cold sweat to consume my body.

What would I do if Gary was hurt? I don't think I would be able to deal with it very well.

Combing my fingers through my hair I stood up, starting to pace up and down the room uneasily.

Come on Gary, stop making me worry over you! You stupid idiot! Just knock the door or something!

My eyes kept their focus on the door which didn't show any signs that Gary would be opening it. I sighed, really missing the taller boy right about now.

It was too quiet and boring without someone to talk to, to have a laugh with and to share my feelings with. Without him I just felt so useless.

Whilst lost in my own self inflicted misery I heard a knock at the door and watched as it swung open.

"I have returned!" Came that familiar voice that I had longed to hear for some time. I knew who it was.

Gary was back!

Charging up to the door I allowed all my emotions to get the better of me.

"Where the hell have you been!" I demanded angrily. Gary's eyes were wide in shock.

"Jeez, Ash, I never realised you would miss me this much,"

I scowled at his torment, not caring if he knew that I missed him.

Well, it was the truth, I actually did.

Turning away momentarily I hissed;

"Shut up Gary,"

"I know I was late, it was all Gramp's fault," Gary whined, sighing under his breath. I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter as I longed to just spill out everything right now.

"I thought... something had happened to you," I mumbled, looking at the floor. I was positive Gary would be shocked at my reaction, but right now I did not care. I just wanted to know he was back and that he wouldn't leave for a while. He chuckled;

"Come now Ash, I only went home, do you really think I am that weak?"

Hearing his words made me feel guilty, it did seem like I was doubting his abilities of defending himself, but still, he was not Superman.

"Anyway, I wanted to show you something," Gary said, with a calmer voice than my own.

As my gaze returned to his form I noticed a small bundle of fluff in his arms, curled up and dozing peacefully. I felt my heart lift up into the heavens as I beheld a tiny Eevee, completely unaware of my presence.

"Wow, an Eevee!" I exclaimed, bending down a little to get a better view of her. Gary smiled;

"Yeah, isn't she adorable? My Umbreon had a child with another Eeveelution and here she is,"

I could not believe it. It had been some time since I had seen an Eevee this close and so at ease.

Perhaps Gary just had this aura that made Eevee's relax around him, or this Eevee could just be docile?

"Are you keeping her?" I asked, standing upright. He nodded;

"That is the plan, I kind of wanted to introduce her to Pikachu. She hasn't made much contact with Pokemon so I thought that maybe it would be good for them both to have a friend,"

I felt a giant smile smother my face as Gary said those words. It was rare that he would be so considerate towards anyone, and I actually agreed with his plan. Pikachu probably would love to have a new friend, and this Eevee needed social interaction.

It was the perfect set up!

"I think that is great idea!" I enthused, watching as the tall boy just smiled at me.

I loved how he smiled like that, it made my heart just melt. Weird I know, saying all this about another boy but, it was true. Ever since meeting Gary again after so long I have felt happier than I have been for a while. It is like I am complete again and having him at my side makes the world a brighter place.

As I snapped out of my trail of thought I watched as he walked over to the sofa and gently placed down the sleeping Eevee on a cushion at the far end. She shuffled slightly but did not wake up.

I could not help but smile at how cute she was, so at ease and so young. It seemed almost a crime to make something this adorable battle anything.

Gary took off his rucksack and placed it at the side of the sofa before taking a seat himself.

"Are you going to sit down or are you just going to stand around like an idiot?" He commented which immediately made me walk towards where he was situated.

Cautiously I settled down beside him, suddenly feeling a rush of warmth enter my bones. It was obviously from Gary, he radiated heat like he was a furnace and trust me to sit in the proximity of him.

"So, did you get in touch with your friends?" He enquired.

I nodded, not wanting to make eye contact just yet.

"Yeah, Brock said he is going to try to get down to the hospital to see Mom,"

I could see out of the corner of my eye Gary nodding and spreading his arms out over the back of the sofa.

Man, I have no idea what to do. Here he is, just sitting beside me and completely oblivious to how I feel about him. So, why does this feel kind of awkward?

Fidgeting with my hands in my lap I refused to make eye contact, I knew if I did then I would just blush constantly.

Luckily for me Gary did not seem to be in a talkative mood right now and just relaxed on the sofa with Eevee curled beside him, sleeping peacefully.

However, all this awkward silence was making me fidget even more and I was positive Gary would notice my behaviour.

"Ash, are you alright?" He asked, making me immediately stop my actions.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I quickly answered. Gary shrugged.

"I'm just curious, you keep fidgeting a lot,"

I wanted to punch myself right now, I knew it would be totally obvious, I mean after all he is not stupid. Biting into my lip I had to think of something that would sound plausible.

"I... I'm just worried about Mom," I mumbled, keeping my gaze away from the emerald eyed boy. He chuckled and gently nudged my shoulder;

"You worry too much, she will be fine. She is a strong woman,"

The feeling of Gary nudging me automatically caused my face to burn vigorously.

Shit shit shit! Don't look at him, don't look at him!

"I... know," I muttered quietly, continuing to stare at the carpet instead of the object of my affections. I felt Gary's body shuffle a little on the sofa, making me cringe.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" He continued asking, bombarding me with questions that I did not want to answer.

I knew that my face would still be as red as a tomato as that burning sensation had not fully subsided yet, but me being as stupid as I was renowned for I accidentally looked at him. My eyes met his and I knew at that moment he would notice my red cheeks and enquire about them.

It was just a matter of time.

"Ash... are you... blushing?" Gary struggled to ask, his face scarred with confusion and a slight hint of amusement. Looking away I grumbled;

"No, why would I?"

"I don't know, it's just your face is red," He noted, pointing at my face, which by now was getting redder by the minute.

Why could I not control my emotions around him? It was so unfair. It would only be a matter of time before the penny would drop and then he would realise why I reacted like I did.

"It's... the heat," I lied, waving my hand in front of my face, pretending to be hot. I knew Gary was watching me, I could almost feel his eyes burning into my soul, trying to psyche me out, and it was working.

His nose crinkled for a second before relaxing;

"Ash, it is not hot in here," He stated.

"Well, I think it is," I retorted, continuing to wave my hand in front of my face.

I wonder if he is aware that I am lying, if he is then knowing Gary he would just come straight out with it and not beat around the bush. Even so, why is he just staring at me? It's making me nervous.

As my breath hitched in my throat I felt Gary's warm hand place itself on my forehead to check my temperature.

The touch of his hand on my skin was already having negative effects on my body, my temperature was sure to increase now. Looking thoughtful he mused;

"You don't feel warm to me,"

I instinctively moved my head away from his hand and tried my best to scowl at him, even though I did not despise the fact he had willingly touched me.

"Well... I am... okay?" I returned, looking away from him once again.

For about the hundredth time since Gary had returned I had felt like an idiot over and over again, the way he looked at me, the tone he spoke to me and just him being in my presence was sending my emotions spiralling out of control.

I started fidgeting with my hands in my lap again, trying to ignore the tingling sensation that consumed my stomach.

Was Gary causing this?

"Good grief Ash, anyone would think you are on death row the way you are behaving," Gary's voice loomed into my ears again and I closed my eyes, trying to drown it out with the sound of my inner voice.

Yeah. What a fail that was. All my inner voice says is that I need to tell him, that he would understand how I am feeling. Yeah right, does my inner voice know Gary at all?

As I continued fidgeting my eyes looked at the clock on the wall. Gary had been back for approximately 20 minutes and already my confidence was slipping away from me. It was weird how he just watched me with those alluring emerald eyes of his, he did not take them off me the entire time we sat in silence.

It was excruciating.

"For God's sake!" Gary shouted out, alarming me immensely when I saw that he had grabbed my fidgeting hands and held them in his. As my face turned to his I saw that look in his eyes, that sheer determination scarring those perfect features.

"Stop it Ash! You're making me feel uncomfortable,"

I knew it would happen and it did.

My face started to burn furiously at his touch, feeling his soft warm hands clasped around mine tightly almost made me wonder what it would be like to hold his hand properly.

I swallowed hard as my eyes met a set of emerald ones.

"I..." I stammered, feeling the heat rise to my face intensely.

Gary kept hold of my hands, ensuring that I did not go back to fidgeting. His eyes burned into me as I could tell from his expression that this time he was serious. He was not trying to mock me or aggravate me, he was being sincere and caring.

I liked that.

Oh my God, Gary is sitting here holding my hands! I don't know what I should do, should I pull away, or just let him hold them? It's so comforting, and lovely to know he is here for me, but still, my emotions and feelings for him are escalating out of control and I am worried. Worried that sometime I will accidentally blurt it all out.

As our eyes locked together and I got consumed by their purity I wanted to just lean forward and press my lips against his, just for that brief moment.

Swallowing hard I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and tried to turn my gaze away, even though I did not really want to. His hands still held mine, gently and softly and it was making my heart do small somersaults in my chest.

"I really don't get you," Gary commented quietly, now allowing his gaze to trail to the floor. He appeared saddened which alerted me immediately.

It was odd to see him so crestfallen for no reason.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible.

"One minute you're fine, you're insulting me and being your stupid self like old times, and the next you go like a teenage girl who has a crush on some famous pop star,"

Mentally I cringed.

Oh brilliant, the penny has dropped.

Trying my best to think of something to say I was shushed when his eyes met mine once again. That sparkle that was once seen in them was now deflated and I wondered if I was the cause.

Making Gary feel like this was never my intention, I just wished I could be honest with him and express my feelings. Of course that would never happen.

"I guess..." I tried, feeling my voice fail me again.

"Ash, I want to ask you something," Gary said, his voice stern and back to it's usual tone.

The way he spoke to me made me feel incredibly nervous, it was like I knew what he was going to ask me but did I know the answer? Trying to keep composed I replied;

"Go ahead,"

"Do I make you feel uncomfortable?"

My eyes widened as I was completely shocked at what he just said. I was not expecting such a question and of course it was totally ridiculous.

"What? Don't be stupid! Why would you make me feel like that?" I replied, obviously making it quite clear at how shocked I was.

Hearing those words come from someone as arrogant and obnoxious as Gary was renowned to be was an eye opener. He shrugged;

"You just seem off with me sometimes, I just wondered if I was doing something that made you feel like that,"

As if he is concerned about my feelings. He seems so down about all this and I know for a fact it is all my fault. If I could just learn to control these damn feelings then this could all be avoided.

I looked downwards at our interlocking hands and sighed.

His simple gesture meant the world to me, yet obviously Gary was oblivious. I thought that perhaps he would've figured it out by now but perhaps not.

Maybe he isn't as bright as I thought.

"You haven't done anything wrong, I just..."

I tried thinking of something rational to say but everything eluded me. All that I wanted to say was the truth, but it was so difficult.

"It's fine," Gary interrupted me, now allowing his hands to release mine.

When his warmth was no longer around my hands felt the coldness of the air in the room and I did not like it. All I wanted was to hold his hand all through the day and night, but that was never going to happen.

"I think we should make a move to the hospital," Gary said finally, scooping up the sleeping Eevee in his arms once again. Amazingly she had not woken up throughout any of this, she must have been a real deep sleeper.

I gave a weak nod, actually wanting to just stay here with him and not leave.

I knew I had to, and I did want to check on Mom.

"Yeah, you're right," I agreed.

We both stood up from the sofa and walked, somewhat awkwardly towards the front door. Every step seemed to be draining life from my body. I just wanted to turn around and hug him so tightly and confess how much I actually liked him, but my pride stood in the way, along with the fear of making a fool out of myself.

I was first to the door and as I opened it I turned to look at Gary. He gave me a half hearted smile and I returned it. Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves I knew I had to sort this out in my head before getting to the hospital. Being in that room with Mom would just send me to breaking point.

I know it is going to be so hard living with Gary and seeing him everyday, but I have to try. I must at least attempt to figure out what my heart wants and if it is the right thing. Would Gary even like me back if I told him? Probably not. And it does not matter how many times I go over this in my head, I will always be tangled up in him.


	8. Oh My Stomach Is Tied In Knots

Garys POV

I don't get Ash, like seriously.

One minute he is back to his old stupid loser self, insulting me and stuff, and then the next he goes all girly on my ass. Is it because of me? Is it something I am putting out there? Urghhh... get a grip on yourself Gary.

The long and tedious walk towards Viridian City seemed to be taking longer than I ever anticipated, perhaps that was because both myself and Ash were acting like idiots and not talking to each other.

Well, I wasn't going to make the first move here, he was the one who was acting weird.

I just held Eevee tightly to my chest as the warm sun shone down on both of us. At least the weather was good.

"Ummmm Gary?" Ash spoke quietly, finally destroying this horrible silence between us. I turned to face the shorter boy, I knew that I would be giving him that look of mine, that 'what the hell is it now' look.

"Yeah?"

"I... I'm sorry," He mumbled, his eyes looking downwards as we continued walking towards the hospital.

Now not even I could understand why he constantly kept apologising and acting totally out of character. For goodness sake it was Ash here, stupid loser Ash who used to get riled about anything! It seemed that side of him was no longer around.

I missed that.

Sighing a little I responded to his apology.

"Why are you apologising?"

It seemed ever since I had returned to his house and he had demanded where I had been because he was worried had altered our relationship. I also noticed that he blushed a lot around me.

"I just feel bad..."

Rolling my eyes at him I could not help but feel kind of sorry for him, if only I knew what was going on through that stupid head of his then maybe understanding this dilemma would be easier. We continued walking, the sun beating down on our backs as this awkward conversation lingered in the air.

"Well don't, stupid, it is okay. I just wish that you would just talk to me, you know?" I confessed.

It did annoy me, I was not an ogre after all and I would just listen to him if he needed me too. Luckily for me I hid a sensitive side in my body somewhere, it was just finding it that was the issue.

I watched as he looked up at me, those hazel eyes sparkling in the sunshine.

"Sometimes I just... can't," He murmured, turning his gaze away from me again. I sighed again.

Was it really that difficult to just talk to me? Jeez, I never realised that I was so difficult to be able to talk to and sort things out. Wow Gary, turns out your an even bigger loser than Ash used to be... okay, maybe not THAT much.

I knew my patience was slipping so I just remained mute as I walked onwards, Eevee in my arms. Trying to ignore the bubbling feeling in the pits of my stomach was incredibly difficult, especially when the person who was causing this feeling was walking right beside me.

Ash thought he was the only one having problems right now, well he thought wrong. Trying to discover what I actually felt deep inside was my ongoing battle.

"Gary, I wanna ask you something," Ash's voice entered my ears again, alerting me to him. Even though I did want to ignore him and sulk like a child, I just couldn't. I could hear the plea in his voice and I knew I had to be there.

"Yeah, what is it," I said, my voice sounding monotonous. Turning my gaze to him he looked at the ground again.

I wished he would not do that.

"Have you ever... loved anyone?"

Now this caught me off guard, did I even know the meaning of the word?

Love, it was a hard emotion for someone as bitter as myself to even begin to understand, but that being said I was sure I was aware of what it felt like.

"Ummm... I suppose I have," I answered, not entirely sure if I was being honest. I watched as Ash's body seemed to tense up at my answer.

Was he upset by what I said?

The feelings that raged through my mind and soul for Ash... I was not sure if it was love as of yet, but there was definitely a spark there.

"Oh..." He mumbled.

"Why do you ask? Are you... in love?" I blurted out, not managing to stop my big mouth.

Instinctively I walked quicker onwards, wanting to get to the safety of this damn hospital so all these stupid questions could be avoided.

I had no friggin' clue what I felt, and he was not helping things right now.

"Well... I don't know," Ash confessed. My eyes turned to his face, watching as it started to redden considerably.

It was now when the gears of my mind continued to turn, wondering why asking that would cause him to blush.

Suddenly it clicked, and I had to stop myself from dropping Eevee out of my arms.

Oh my God! Was that it? Was that why he was behaving like this around me? Was I...?

"Ash..." I tried, suddenly feeling extremely weak at the thought of my old childhood companion actually liking me more than a friend, perhaps we were more alike than I first thought. Those big brown eyes accompanied by a beet red face looked up at me.

"Yeah?"

"Who is the person you think you.. love?"

We stopped walking, our destination was getting closer but right now I knew my legs would not be able to steady my body weight.

What would I do if he actually said he did like me? Would I be able to understand it, and accept him into my life properly? That was something I needed to be sure of before getting in too deep.

He leaned against a nearby fence, looking up at the sky, his face full of worry and confusion. It kind of made me sad.

"The person... is..." He started, his hands balled into fists. I watched as his whole body trembled and I could feel that same sensation begin to consume me too. Heart in my throat I waited with bated breath, wondering how I would deal with the news, if I were to hear it.

Please... just say it! Just come out with it Ash! I wont hit you, or go mad... I promise.

"T...the... person... is... ummm..."

I swallowed hard as time seemed to drag on forever, just wishing it away and to hear him say that it was me. I knew I was just staring at him right now, wanting to know the answer, but he did not look at me.

Shaking his head quickly he started to chuckle and bashfully scratch the back of his head.

"Its... no-one you know,"

For that moment I felt a mixture of emotions fill my being, anger, annoyance and sadness all mixing into a vile sensation that made me just want to hit him right now.

HOW COULD HE SAY THAT? URGHHH... FUCK'S SAKE!

Biting into my lip I nodded and turned away, holding Eevee tightly in my arms. At least holding her stopped me from lashing out in rage at him.

Was it that hard to admit it! It was so friggin' obvious! I seriously wanted to shout and scream at him but, I knew it would get me nowhere. Ash was stubborn, I was supposedly used to it by now.

"Oh... right," I muttered.

I needed to get out of here, like now!

Without giving a moment's thought about whether Ash would be following I walked off, half in rage and half in sadness.

It really pissed me off! God, he could be such a loser sometimes!

My apparent rage had woken Eevee up, she yawned loudly and looked up at me with large brown eyes. Looking at her angelic face made me want to curl up into a ball somewhere and just stay there.

And that is totally not like you Gary.

Sighing I continued walking, faster and faster, not caring if Ash was behind me or not. I didn't even want to see him, or hear his voice, it would be too horrible right now.

"Veee... veeee..." Eevee cooed sadly, gently pawing at my arm. It was as if she knew what was wrong. Watching her actions made me think a little.

Yes I know I was acting like a massive jerk but I needed to, I couldn't just stand there and watch him lie to me. I was not stupid, and it did not take a genius to figure this out.

Why was he so against confessing? Was it because I was a guy and thought of being gay terrified him? Okay, yeah, that thought has crossed my mind too. But then again, I have only ever had feelings for one guy and that is Ash. So what does that mean exactly?

"Gary wait!"

I heard that voice, the voice I loved yet hated at the same time.

God he pissed me off, but I could not bring myself to keep walking away.

Standing still Eevee seemed pleased. She nuzzled against my chest.

"Eeeveeee!"

"I guess you want us to sort this out, huh?" I said quietly to the small brown fluff ball, who nodded against me.

Well if she had faith in me then why couldn't I have faith in myself?

Breathing in deeply I turned around on my heels, turning to face the brown eyed boy that I could not help but adore. His face was even redder than before only it was not a blush red, it was a crying red. His eyes looked so sad, so broken and now I felt like an even bigger jerk.

I even made him cry, man you are such a great guy.

I remained still as he ran up to me, being a foot shorter than myself.

"Why... why did you walk away!" He bellowed, anger now taking over his small form. Now it was my turn to look downwards.

At that moment I had to walk away, if I did not then I would've lashed out, but when I looked at those hazel eyes I just could not do it any more.

"I was annoyed okay?" I confessed, keeping an eye on the Eevee in my arms who crinkled her nose at our conversation. It was odd how she was aware of how I felt towards Ash even though she had only been with me for a short time.

"Annoyed?" Ash repeated.

Don't you think I am going to be the one to confess to you, Ashy-boy. It's not happening.

Grunting in response I turned away, obviously showing that arrogant side that Ash hated.

I liked to call it self preservation.

By the look on his face it seemed he was not going to push this subject, thankfully. I had half expected a punch or something, you know, something to show how annoyed he was with me. I received the opposite.

He smiled at me. SMILED! What the hell is going on? Is he friggin' bi-polar?

"You're so silly sometimes Gary," He said, chuckling after his words. Sighing I wondered.

Would it be okay to just hug him? Perhaps if I did I would find out if he was actually lying back then about loving another. I would easily be able to tell so it would not hurt to try, would it?

Slowly I allowed Eevee out of my arms and watched as she leapt onto the floor, her large eyes staring right at me. It was like she knew exactly what my plan was.

I acted on my instinct and pulled the shorter boy close to me and just hugged him as tightly as I could.

Breathing in deeply I could not help but smile, having Ash in my arms like this actually felt right.

I wonder if he felt the same.

"G-Gary?" He said in a quiet voice, before allowing his own arms to wrap around me too. It was strangely comforting knowing I could just hug him whenever I wanted and he would not go all weird on my ass again.

I must confess, it did stir weird emotions in my stomach, like it was being tied in knots.

"Don't say a word," I said to him, continuing to embrace the brown eyed boy.

His body was now a lot more relaxed in my grip which made me feel more comfortable. I did not care if anyone saw us hugging like this right now, I just wished he would tell me.

Won't you say anything to me Ash? Are you that afraid?

Finally I allowed the shorter boy free from my embrace and just stared at his face. As predicted it was as red as a tomato.

That was it, I had to do it.

As our eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity I hardly noticed the distance between us closing and the space between our mouths getting shorter and shorter. Soon enough our mouths were inches apart and I could feel his warm breath on my face. Eyes half lidded I knew he would not push me away.

Slowly and gently I moved forward, pressing my lips onto his for the first time.

He yelped quietly and I swear to God I was not surprised, I mean the thought of kissing him only popped into my head for a brief second and bingo! I acted on it.

His lips were soft on mine and were the perfect fit. It seemed like I had waited forever to do this and now the moment was here it was actually better than I ever thought. I knew he was nervous, I bet he had never kissed anyone before me.

I must admit, it felt good to think that.

His face was hot to the touch as my hands gently placed on his cheeks. Ash jolted suddenly at the contact but did not seem to make any objection. Inside I was smiling, at least I had finally figured out what he felt.

As our lips parted we just looked at each other, I was probably blushing just as much as he was, after all, it's not everyday you kiss another guy. Weirdly enough it did not feel wrong, it felt right, like it was natural.

"G-Gary... why?" Ash stuttered, trying to regain his composure. I smiled and winked at him.

"I wanted to make sure," I answered.

His eyes were wide in shock, it was like he had no idea what I was talking about. Of course I knew, I now knew that Ash had feelings for me too.

"Make sure?" He repeated. I nodded.

"Yes, and now I know,"

It had been some time since the kissing incident had happened and we had continued on our journey towards Viridian City. Ash was on edge all the time, walking obediently at my side like a dog, and even though it boosted my ego to no end I did feel kind of bad.

I did not even give a proper reason to why I kissed him, and I didn't plan on it.

Eevee scampered around my heels playfully, happy about the whole situation. At least she supported us.

"Hey Ash," I said, alerting the brown eyed boy immediately. He tensed up.

"Y-yes?"

"You still up for going to the carnival later tonight?"

I watched as it did not take long for him to come to a decision. Obviously the thought of going to somewhere full of noisy idiots pleased him, me on the other hand would gladly miss it, but I wasn't doing this for my benefit.

"Ummm... yeah sure," He answered, giving me a small smile.

Well that was settled then, at least he had something to look forward to if the hospital dished out some bad news about his Mom.

I wished she would be okay, Ash deserved that at least.

Finally we had reached the large white building of the hospital after what seemed like hours of walking. My legs were aching terribly and it was at that point I grumbled to myself.

Why didn't we just order a taxi? It would've made the journey a lot easier. But, if we hadn't of walked then I probably would not have kissed Ash. I knew that he would be thinking about it, after all, I did not give an explanation to why I did it.

As Eevee scampered around my heels I decided it would be better if I carried her in the hospital, the last thing I wanted was the hospital staff having a go at me for her hyper behaviour.

Bending down I allowed her to leap into my arms so I could easily carry her into the large building. Ash followed me, oddly enough being extremely quiet.

It was so unlike him, usually he would just waffle on about anything, but not this time.

The lady at the reception gave us the nod as we walked in, it was like she recognised us from yesterday.

Then again, it is hard to forget this face, isn't it?

Eevee snuggled in my arms as Ash and I made our way down the narrow corridor once again to where his Mom was situated.

As we walked I kind of felt guilty, not just for Ash going through all this with his Mom but the fact I had not helped matters either. Perhaps me kissing him was the wrong thing to do, but he obviously did not have any objections to push me away.

Did that mean that he liked it?

"Hey Gary, look!" Ash said enthusiastically.

I watched as he pointed to two figures at the end of the corridor. At first I had no idea who they were but soon enough it hit me like a rock.

It was Brock and Misty, Ash's friends, seems like they actually managed to get here before us.

What a turn out!

Ash bounded on ahead of me to greet his companions while I just stayed in the background, hoping not to draw too much attention to myself.

Usually I would love attention, but not off them, especially Misty. Me and her did not see eye to eye after all, and I did not really want a row to start in the hospital.

"Ash!" I heard her voice call out of him and I cringed. Just the tone of her voice annoyed me. Brock on the other hand I could deal with, he was not as annoying as she was.

"Brock! Misty! You managed to get here!" Ash squealed back in delight. Seeing him so happy actually made me want to smile, of course I wouldn't, not in front of them.

Out of the corner of my eyes I noticed Pikachu too, he leapt onto Ash's shoulder and started nuzzling him to death. It seemed that he missed his best friend.

Eevee had noticed the other Pokemon too, she curiously sniffed the air and cooed softly;

"Veee..."

I petted her head gently. just watching how Ash interacted with his friends. By this time I had zoned out of the conversation they were having and just concentrated on him. Right now he was the Ash I used to know, loud, annoying and getting riled up about anything.

Why did he change around me? Was it something I had said or done?

"Gary's here too,"

I heard my name being mentioned and then I mentally flinched. Now they would be aware of my presence and I would have to be involved in their conversations. I didn't really want any part of it, I was only here for him.

"Why the hell is he here!" Misty cursed, hands on her hips glaring at me.

I sighed.

Some things just never change.

Ash's face said it all, he was wearing that faint blush which I was so used to by now as he tried to think of something to say, obviously he would not tell them the ideal truth.

"He is here to see Mom," He answered.

Okay, he was not lying exactly, just kind of twisting the truth a little to fit in.

I hated the way she glared at me, like I was not wanted in their presence. I think her apparent hatred for me was the fact Ash never admitted he liked her at all or even suggested them making a go at things.

How the hell this was my fault I have no idea.

"Well, it is odd for Gary to be so considerate, don't you think?" Brock piped up, chuckling a little.

I scowled.

Of course I was considerate! I just didn't show it enough...

It was now that Pikachu had noticed Eevee and was just staring at her.

"Pika Pi?" He called out, jumping off Ash's shoulder and bounding over to me. Before I could stop her Eevee leapt out of my arms and walked over to Pikachu.

Everyone just watched the two Pokemon as they curiously looked at each other, sniffing curiously.

"Awwww isn't it cute!" Misty squealed, making me sigh once again.

Now I wanted to know why everyone was just hanging around outside and not actually inside with Ash's Mom. I wished they would all go away, and pretty soon.

"Veeee..." Eevee purred softly, gently nuzzling against Pikachu.

Both Ash and I watched as the two Pokemon seemed to be getting along already, the irony to this scene was overwhelming to some degree.

"Anyway why are you guys hanging around outside?" I asked, now deciding to make some conversation, much to Misty's annoyance.

Ash was once again quiet and just watched the two Pokemon play on the floor.

"The doctor is tending to her right now and checking test results, he said we could all go in once he knows the results," Brock answered defiantly. I could tell from the tone of his voice that it did not look favourable, having tests done and then finding out the results were always the hard part.

If it was bad news I wondered how Ash would be able to cope with it.

"I see," I mused.

"The staff here are renowned for their medical knowledge, Delia should be in very capable hands," Brock assured both myself and Ash.

He weakly nodded, obviously trying to be strong but I knew it was all a facade. If they said to him that she had taken a turn for the worst it would probably take a hundred kisses to make him feel better.

Of course I probably would not object to that right now, but even so, it kind of hurt to think of him upset and sad. I liked it when he was his old stupid self, insulting me to no end. Right now, it seemed like he had lost that.

"So how long do you plan on staying around?" Misty spat, the venom obviously heard in her voice.

I glared at her and wondered to myself why I should even begin to talk to her, she had obviously made it quite clear she had irrational hatred for me.

"For as long as Ash wants me around," I returned coyly, knowing that it would really rile her up.

And rile her up it did.

I could almost see the steam bellowing out of her ears.

Brock placed a steady hand her shoulder and she seemed to calm down almost instantly. I think even she knew better than to start a war in the hospital.

Ash once again had not said much, he just leaned against a wall sighing occasionally. His thoughts were obviously somewhere else right now.

"I had no idea you were back in Kanto," Brock tried starting up a pleasant conversation. I just merely nodded, not actually wanting to talk, I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay here and that Ash would not be feeling down in the dumps.

Why did everyone have to be here? Urghhh... they were totally ruining the moment, and there was no way I would get a chance to be around Ash with them sniffing around. I just hoped they went after the hospital, I sure as hell do not want them trailing around with us at the carnival.

As Eevee and Pikachu continued playing together on the floor it was then I noticed the door to Ash's Moms room open and a tall man in his late Thirties walked out. He adjusted his glasses on his nose before speaking to us;

"You may all go in and see her now, but do not tire her out, she is still very weak,"

We all nodded.

We was not that insensitive to make this situation worse, what did he take us for?

Ash was the first one to go inside, closely followed by Misty and then Brock. I hung back for a minute, wondering about some things.

I was suddenly getting really defensive since I knew she was here, that obnoxious red head.

Maybe it was because at some point I had convinced myself that Ash and Misty would eventually get together. Of course, I knew that now it would not happen. He never spoke about her in that kind of way, or blush around her like he did with me. I had nothing to worry about, right?

Taking a deep breath I alerted Pikachu and Eevee to stop playing and follow me into the room. They obliged and scampered ahead of me.

As I neared the door I could feel my chest feeling heavy, like there was a great weight pressing down on it.

Was it because of Ash, and the fact he did not actually admit anything to me? Maybe the reason he did not push me away was the fact he could've been scared to do so. No, I can't think like that. I need to get a grip and just try to get through the day, even though at this precise moment in time my stomach is tied in knots and I am afraid of what I will find if Ash wants to talk about it tonight.


	9. Say You'll Be With Me

Walking into that white washed room for the second time this week really tested my sanity. I felt like I was walking towards my doom and I knew that today was not going to be great.

I stood near the door, almost frozen to the spot and watched as Eevee and Pikachu leapt onto the bed. They too looked just as sad as we did.

Seeing Mom so lifeless, helpless... made me want to scream out in pain.

Misty and Brock's expressions said it all to me, they too were just as horrified as I was.

"Oh my goodness!" Misty exclaimed, placing her hand to her mouth in shock.

Yes, it was shocking to see my Mom like this, covered in tubes and wires. It was just not her.

I swallowed hard, wanting to go over to her and just hold her hand, but it looked so fragile that I was frightened to even touch her.

"This is a sadness..." Brock remarked, standing beside Misty, who looked like she was going to break down into tears. I prayed that she did not.

Gary stood beside me, hiding his expression from my view at the moment, but I sensed he was just as morose as I was.

Mom... please, you have to fight this. You have to get better. I don't know what I would do if you... if you...

"Ash?"

Gary's soft voice filled my ears, snapping me out of my melancholy state of mind.

I turned to face him and nodded weakly. He gave me a small smile which lightened my spirits a little. Just seeing that small glimmer of hope in him made me gain the much needed courage to get through this tough time.

I felt his hand gently brush against mine, perhaps in an attempt to hold it. I knew he would not do that though, not with an audience.

It was understandable.

"Ash I am so sorry," Misty muttered to me, still looking as if she was going to cry. I forced a smile, not wanting her to see me as a weak and pathetic human being. Even if it killed me to see my Mom like this I needed to remain strong, for both of us.

"She will get better Misty," I assured, almost trying to assure myself in the process.

Was I right though? Would she actually get better?

Whilst we were all lost in our own thoughts we hardly noticed the Doctor and two of his associates come rushing into the room and crowd around her bed. This alerted me, making me panic.

What was wrong? Did something happen?

"What's happening?" I called out, hearing the machine beeping violently and the Doctors rushing around like headless chickens. The main Doctor looked to us and frowned;

"The results show that one of her lungs has collapsed, we need to start giving her physiotherapy to try and strength it so she can breath on her own."

My heart sank.

I felt like my legs were just going to snap underneath my weight.

My Mom's lung had collapsed?

That meant she wasn't breathing as good as she was meant to, this obviously was bad news.

Misty tried to stop herself from crying but I knew she would eventually, hearing things like this would obviously make anyone upset.

"Will she be alright?" Brock asked, trying to find out as much information as possible. As the Doctor checked the oxygen mask for a second time he gave an indecisive shrug.

"We are unsure, we will know more when she has gone through the physiotherapy and we can ascertain the severity of the collapsed lung. We may be able to inflate it once again if it gets stronger,"

I just could not speak, all words were just becoming a strangled mess in my throat, and all I wanted to do right now was collapse, preferably with Gary supporting me.

Right now I needed him here for me, in anyway possible.

"Why has her lung collapsed?" Gary continued, also asking questions, questions that I myself could not find the strength to ask.

"The Pneumonia has created a lot of fluid in her lungs, this has caused one of them to collapse so she cannot breathe fully on her own. She needs help from the machine to breathe properly and to get enough oxygen to her vital organs"

No... this was not happening! This was a nightmare, a total nightmare. Mom wasn't meant to go through this! She did not deserve any of this, it was wrong. She was such an amazing Mom, it seems unfair for all the bad things to happen to her.

Again I felt Gary's hand brush against mine gently. I guess he was trying to show me that he was here for me and supporting me. Of course I knew that and I was forever grateful.

As the Doctors rushed around the main one beckoned to us;

"I suggest you leave until we can be sure of the severity of her condition, she is very weak right now and needs lots of fluids and rest."

I nodded weakly, feeling useless. There was nothing I could do that would help her right now, I just felt like I was just watching this illness drain her of life.

It was awful.

"What about the Pokemon? Can they stay here and look after her?" I asked, trying to stop my voice from breaking completely.

The Doctor nodded and gave us a kind sincere smile. Of course I did not see it like that, but the good thing was that Eevee and Pikachu would look after her while we were gone.

Everyone nodded and we made our way to the door. A part of me was reluctant to leave her all alone in the room with them, even though they were taking good care of her I knew she needed me.

She always did.

When we left the room we stood outside trying to gain our bearings. It was horrible to hear that news so soon after being rushed into the hospital. I had convinced myself that there was a possibility she would be a lot better by today, but I was wrong.

"Hey Ash, lets go and grab a coffee from the vending machine," Brock suggested, snapping me out of my daze. It did not seem like a bad idea, perhaps a strong drink would help me out right now.

"Yeah, okay," I muttered weakly.

Gary's eyes followed me eagerly, watching my every move.

He must have been worried about me, after all, he knew how much she meant to me, sorry... how much she MEANS to me.

As I walked with Brock past Misty and Gary I was almost positive I heard Misty utter something to him. The only words I could make out were 'back off' 'bad news' and my name.

Turning away I decided to allow them time to talk, even though they wouldn't.

Well come on, Misty was hardly Gary's biggest fan. She could not stand him, but I never knew why. Maybe it was because of all the shit he put me through when we were kids, all that stuff about 'Gary was here, Ash is loser'. Silly really.

As Brock and I walked down the hall to the vending machine I could feel the whiteness of the walls draining the life out of me. I was beginning to feel nauseous.

All I wanted was to get out of here.

"Ash, are you alright?" Brock asked, as we stopped by the machine. I nodded, not quite sure I actually was.

"Yeah, I am fine,"

"It is understandable to be upset you know, especially after receiving news like that," He issued, shifting around in his pockets for some coins for the machine.

Yeah, I knew that. I think it was just sinking in, and that fact I was somewhat reluctant to believe it.

"I know," I murmured.

Placing the coins in the machine he continued;

"Also, I want to talk to you about you and Gary,"

My eyes widened a little as those words spilled from his mouth. I did not think it was that obvious that I had a crush on him, but then again it wouldn't take a genius to figure it out.

"What about us?" I returned.

Brock turned to me, that kind look on his face as usual. The look that said 'come on now Ash, you know what I mean'.

Well, of course I did, I was just being difficult.

"You know what you told me about having dream sex with him?"

I nodded, watching as he turned back and started pressing buttons on the machine.

"Is that because you like him?"

Wow, it must be really obvious. Even so, I feel guilty, not for liking Gary but the fact I have just been given awful news about Mom and yet he still manages to make my heart thunder. Is that even normal?

Looking downwards at the floor I swallowed hard.

Brock did not judge me when I confessed about the whole dream sex thing, but would he still be my friend if he knew I fancied Gary? Wouldn't that make me... Gay?

"Well I..." I started, hearing the whirring noise of the machine as it started making the coffee for both of us.

"Yes?"

"I... guess I kind of do," I answered, feeling annoyed at myself.

Kind of? Oh, no way was it just kind of, it was definitely, more than anyone I have ever met before. I could not just come out with that though.

Brock turned to me and I half expected a look of disgust, but it wasn't. It was a smile, a genuine smile.

"You know, it might not be a bad thing having him around then. If Gary makes you feel better about this whole situation and makes you happy then that's all I need to hear,"

He turned back to assist the machine and I just looked at him, completely dumbfounded.

He was okay with it? As in, totally okay? No Gay puns or jokes, just okay?

A part of me leapt in joy at the relief of knowing he was okay with me liking Gary, but I knew that Misty would not take the news so graciously. She hated him as it was.

This whole admitting I am Gay thing, is really weird. I mean, I don't know if I am, I only like Gary so... what does that mean? And it's not like I love him or anything, I just kind of like him... yeah... kind of.

As I snapped out of my daze once again Brock handed me a polystyrene cup filled with hot coffee. This scene reminded me of this morning, when Gary had made me coffee without even asking me. It was such a nice gesture, and it was incredibly rare that Gary would be so thoughtful.

"You're not... disgusted?" I managed to ask, holding the cup in my hands. I watched as my old companion chuckled slightly.

"Don't be silly Ash, why would I be? Just because you like someone it doesn't mean I will think any differently of you. In fact, it is a pleasant change to hear you like someone"

I wanted to smile at his kindness, I really did, but I just could not. The news about my Mom was just a dead weight in my heart and in my mind which I could not get rid of.

I slowly took a sip of the hot liquid as we both started walking slowly back to Misty and Gary. The probability of them arguing was very high, but then again, maybe they would be able to put aside their differences and come to an understanding?

And then again I could just turn around and say I am completely straight and do not fancy Gary. Yeah... like I said, that is not going to happen.

I watched as Brock took a sip from his cup too, walking beside me. The atmosphere between us was not awkward in the slightest, in fact it was comforting to know that he was okay with it. Even if he was not throwing a party about it, he did not hate me, that was the main thing.

"Does Gary know you like him?" Brock questioned as we walked down the narrow corridor. I frowned, not really sure if he did.

"I actually don't know,"

Brock took another sip of his drink.

"How can you not know? Have you told him?"

I swallowed hard.

I was such an idiot. When I had the chance on the way here I blew it completely. And then he... kissed me. OH GOD! He kissed me! Does that mean...?

I stopped, holding the cup tightly in my hands.

Brock just stared at me, not quite knowing what to do with himself, but right now I was totally confused.

Gary kissed me and I did not push him away, did that mean he liked me? Or was he just screwing with my head again?

Turning my attention to Brock's confused expression I shrugged;

"He kissed me..." I confessed.

"Okay, so he kissed you, but neither of you have said anything?"

I shook my head, feeling guilty about it now. I wish I had said something.

Brock took another sip of coffee, looking perplexed at this situation.

"Well, I suggest you do tell him at some point. If he kissed you then.. he must have some feelings for you too. After all, you don't see me going around kissing people I don't like,"

I chuckled, taking a sip from my cup. That was a fair point to make, but then again I never saw Brock kiss anyone, regardless of whether he liked them or not.

"Yeah, I will," I assured him, continuing to walk down the corridor back to World War Three, or what would soon be.

"You should, I have seen how he has been looking at you Ash. There is definitely something there between the two of you," He stated and I smiled.

Yes there was. Now I knew that Gary was the only person through these times who would ever be able to make me smile and make it seem like all my problems would just go away. When he kissed me... I swear to God it was just so unreal. And so unexpected! Not that I am complaining...

Both of us soon made it back to the squabbling pair, Misty looking as infuriated as ever and Gary looking smug. As expected things were not great between them. I kind of felt embarrassed at the situation, I mean I liked Gary and one of my closest friends hated his guts.

It would make things awkward.

"Misty, what has happened?" I asked, seeing that seething expression scar her face. Gary folded his arms and leaned against the wall, just smiling at her. Scowling she spat,

"You better be careful around him Ash,"

I blinked.

Be careful? Gary was not dangerous in the slightest, if anything he was always there for me, so why would she say that?

"She is just jealous..." Gary remarked, watching as the red head got more and more furious. Brock sighed taking a sip of his coffee, deciding not to intervene this time.

"Why the hell would I be jealous of a stuck up pathetic excuse for a researcher?" She growled angrily at the green eyed boy, and I sighed.

I hated this, so much. Why couldn't everyone just get along and be friends?

Taking a sip from my cup and holding it tightly in my hands I started to think about what Gary had just said.

Misty... jealous of him? But why? And the fact she told me to be careful around him... what does it all mean. Man, I am so confused.

Gary moved away from the wall and stood beside me, giving me that look of his. The one that told me we needed to leave the hospital now before things got even more out of hand.

He was right of course, if we stayed here Misty would blow a fuse or something.

"Well, I think we better get going. Hanging around here waiting for news is not going to help right now," Gary said to everyone, receiving a nod from Brock and a huff from Misty.

Obviously she would disagree with everything he suggested just to be difficult.

"Yeah, he is right," Brock concluded, taking one final sip from his cup and throwing it in a nearby trash can. I followed suit and copied his actions.

At least there was something to look forward to when we left here, the carnival.

As we all walked I stayed beside Gary just in case another war was going to break out, and Brock stayed beside Misty. She had calmed down a lot though so I assumed their little spat was over for now.

Walking down the white washed corridor made my heart sink a little. This place was always going to haunt me for as long as I live, and right now they had my Mom locked up here.

Would they be able to make her better? I hoped they would, the thought of losing her was too hard to bear.

"Don't worry too much Ash, she will be fine," Gary assured me, it was like he could read my thoughts, or maybe my expressions. It must have been that obvious that I was concerned, but even so it was nice that he was being so thoughtful.

I smiled and nodded. If Gary was convinced about it then I think I should try to believe it too.

"I hope so,"

"So where are you guys heading off too after this?" Brock asked from behind us.

As we walked and got closer to the entrance of the hospital once again, I answered;

"To the carnival,"

"Well I hope you have a great time then," Brock issued kindly, smiling at both of us as we neared the door. Standing still for a moment I actually did not want to bid farewell to my friends yet. I had not seen them for so long and already it was over.

Yeah... it is a sadness, but on the other hand I get to spend all evening with Gary. Just the two of us... it's really sweet that he wanted to take me out somewhere. Wait a minute... is this like a sort of... date?

Leaving the large white building of the hospital Gary and I said our goodbyes to my old companions and we both parted ways down the road. Our destination was to head towards the carnival, which would probably be under way right now. It was the afternoon and there would probably be lots of people there already.

As we walked I sighed, feeling a little sorry for myself and still not understanding why Misty behaved like she did.

"Hey Gary, what happened between you and Misty?" I asked, looking up at the taller boy. He looked away and released a sigh, irritation scarring his face.

"It's nothing important,"

Why wouldn't he tell me? Was it that serious?

I decided to continue being annoying as ever and bombard him with questions until he gave in and told me.

"Come on Gary, you really wound her up good and proper back then. What happened?"

Pushing his hands into his pockets he answered;

"I said it doesn't matter,"

"But... it matters to me," I murmured, feeling a little sad about the fact he wasn't able to talk to me about it.

Was I really that difficult to talk to?

"Just forget about it, alright?" Gary said sternly, giving me one of his glances to shut me up. I would not let him win, not this time. Something happened and I was going to find out.

I stopped walking and just stared at him, refusing to move until I knew the reasons. Gary stopped too, sighing a little as he looked at me.

"I won't forget it, so tell me," I pursued.

"For goodness sake Ash, just give it a rest will ya?" He snapped at me, turning his head away from me so he would not have to look at me. Diverting my gaze to the floor I thought to myself.

Wow... this must be really bad if he doesn't want to tell me. I wish he would though...

Sighing I decided to allow him to win this time and started walking again. I assumed he was following me as I was ahead right now, and my childish side of my personality was allowing me to sulk.

I hated it when he did that.

As the sun continued to beat down on our bodies, making us pleasantly warm I heard Gary's voice;

"She... has feelings for you, alright?"

I stopped and turned around, looking at his face. He seemed kind of sad which was unlike him.

Did he think that I liked her back?

That was stupid, he should of known by now that the only person I had any feelings for was him and him alone.

"And... that is why you argued?" I continued.

He nodded at my question and then things were starting to make sense in my mind. The reason Misty argued with him and she hated him so much was because she liked me, and a part of her must have been aware of the fact I liked Gary back.

Maybe that was why she was so bitter towards him?

"She is annoyed at me because she thinks you don't like her that way and that it is all my fault. I have no idea how she works that out," Gary mused, now allowing his emerald eyes to trace the clouds in the sky that floated overhead.

I swallowed hard, actually just wanting to confess here and now. It would set the record straight once and for all.

"Well... I don't like her that way," I answered honestly, watching as the taller boy looked at me, scanning my face for any inclination that I was lying.

I was not, it was the truth. Misty was a great friend yes, but not girlfriend material. I had never even thought about it.

"Good," Gary returned and I just watched him.

Well, he was definitely pleased that I didn't like her, but was that because he liked me?

Oh my God, my brain is so confused right now. Okay, lemme get this straight... Misty likes me but I like Gary and he is happy because I don't like her and that I might like him? That did not help at all... lets just say it's like a love triangle or something.

After a while we decided to continue walking towards our destination, after all, standing around talking about Misty and Gary was beginning to create havoc within me. The thought of Misty liking me made me kind of feel weird, and not in the same way I feel when I am with Gary.

I suppose it is because I am not used to girls liking me.

"Won't things be awkward between the two of you now?" Gary asked as he walked beside me. I shrugged, not actually knowing if it would. It was not like I saw her everyday so perhaps it would not be so bad.

"Maybe... I don't know,"

"See, that is why I didn't want to tell you," Gary sighed, obviously feeling like he was to blame even though he wasn't.

I should have just come clean about who I liked from the start to avoid all this, but no. I was too much of a coward to even consider it.

"I am glad you did though," I said with a smile.

I really was, at least I knew the reason to why they bickered like an old married couple, even if it did make me feel terrible in the process.

Soon enough Gary and I reached the entrance to the carnival. The sights and sounds of the bustling crowd was amazing, and I breathed it all in. Colours of red, blue and yellow flashed across my eyes constantly and music blasted out amongst the gregarious crowd.

The atmosphere was terrific, and even Gary looked content.

As my eyes eagerly scanned the area I could see various stalls selling merchandise, holding competitions or selling food. There were also a few fun fair rides here which pleased me.

I had not been to a fairground for such a long time.

"This is amazing!" I exclaimed, watching everyone bustle about and enjoy themselves. At least this atmosphere was better than back at the dreaded hospital.

That place I would willingly bomb if I could get away with it.

"Simple things please simple minds," Gary commented, nudging me slightly and smiling. Even though I wanted to scowl at him for his remark I couldn't, I just smiled back.

He had a point though, I was easily pleased. That was not always a bad thing. I was sure that soon enough Gary would find that out.

We walked further into the crowd, allowing the up beat tempo of the music to dive into our souls and lift our spirits. Just being in this place made me want to run around and let loose.

It was an amazing feeling.

Gary of course was more mature than I was so he did not express as much enthusiasm as I did.

"So what do you want to do first?" He asked me.

I turned to him, not actually knowing. There were so many things we could do together, but I needed to decide on something.

Perhaps getting food would be best right now?

"Can we grab something to eat?"

He nodded and tried his best to locate a food stall amongst the crowd. Luckily for us Gary was taller than most of the people so he could see the majority of the area.

Once I assumed he found somewhere I felt his fingers latch around one of my wrists and drag me through the crowd towards the destination. It was really sweet that he was taking on such a protective role, especially with an audience.

Did he even care what they thought?

Even so... he is holding my arm... why can't it be my hand? That would be so much better, and so... cute. I don't think he would do that though, not at a carnival. Oh well, I can dream though can't I?

Once my body had been bumped and bashed into countless people on the way we finally made it to a burger stand. I was beginning to feel sore after that constant abuse and it was a good job Gary did not let go of me the entire time, otherwise I would've been lost to the mercy of the crowd.

"Well, what you having?" He asked me, pointing to the menu that hung on the wall.

I looked up, not wanting to be too greedy, after all, he was the one who was paying for me. Everything looked amazing and if I had the choice I probably would have ordered everything, but I digressed.

"I'll just have a cheeseburger," I issued.

He nodded and walked to the stand, addressing the man behind the counter in that professional manner of his. Watching how he interacted with the public was just amazing, I never had that quality. I was just an idiot and I made a fool out of myself easily, you would never catch Gary doing that.

I guess he just knew how to act in public.

"Here,"

Whilst lost in my thoughts something was thrust into my face, alarming me. It was then I noticed Gary was holding out the cheeseburger for me.

I quickly accepted, once again feeling like an idiot for staring blankly into space.

"Thank you," I murmured.

"It is alright, you don't need to thank me,"

As we stood by the stand and just watched the crowd all I wanted to do was be close to him. I did not care if anyone saw us together, or judged us.

I really liked him, and I wanted him to know that. I just did not know the best time to tell him.

Maybe later?

Slowly I started to eat the cheeseburger, trying to sort out the mess that was my mind. Standing so close to him, wanting to touch him, to just hold him was excruciating and it was beginning to be more difficult as time lingered on.

Once we had finished our food it was then decided we would try out some of the fun fair rides.

Of course most of them were for children so we had to find something a little more 'tasteful and mature', Gary's words not mine.

We walked past a Carousel that had different coloured Ponyta's spinning around. To me this was great, but Gary did not look pleased.

"Hey Gary, can we try this out?" I asked, trying my best to win him round.

I watched as he sighed and placed a hand to his head. Obviously going on a Carousel with me would ruin his reputation or something.

I just wanted to do something... together, and right now this seemed like the best thing. It is just cute, and I think if I can get Gary to lighten up a little he might begin to enjoy himself.

To my dismay he shook his head defiantly. There was obviously no way he was going to be seen dead on such a childish ride.

Typical.

"Hell no! Why don't we try something else? You know, something not so girly?" He glared at me and I just could not help it. My sides caved in and I burst into a fit of laughter.

Seeing his face so stern and serious just cracked me up. That along with the pleasing image of him on the Carousel, it just added to my amusement.

Raising an eyebrow at me he mused;

"I don't see what is so funny,"

"You... you are so serious sometimes," I commented, trying to stop my laughter. My sides were beginning to hurt and I just knew he was not pleased with me right now, after all I was technically laughing at him.

"Why don't we go on that?" He asked, pointing to another ride just a few yards away from us.

My laughter stopped immediately when I beheld what it was.

A Ghost Train ride.

Oh lord help me! I don't want Gary to know that I am terrified of stuff like that! He is going to think I am such a pansy if say no to it. Man, I am totally screwed.

I tried to speak but I just couldn't. The thought of being on the ride with all those weird creepy things leaping out at you was scaring me to no end.

Gary looked at me, slightly confused at my expression. Swallowing hard I needed to be brave and show him that I was not such a wimp.

"Ummm... alright,"

He smiled and once again grabbed me by the wrist as we walked over to the ride.

I must admit I liked the fact he kept dragging me everywhere, but to a Ghost Train? What if I got so scared and I screamed like a big girl? That would totally ruin everything and I wouldn't ever be able to live it down. Man this sucks.

"You'll be fine Ashy-Boy, no need to get scared," Gary mocked me playfully and I could already feel my blood start to boil.

I hated it when he called me that, but I also loved it. It had a weird effect on me when he used pet names with me. Even so this time I was only to mock me because I was scared, and I wasn't going to allow that.

"Shut up Gary, I ain't scared," I lied, now standing in the line, queuing for the ride.

He chuckled, obviously not believing what I just said.

Was it that obvious? Was I that easy to read?

"Yeah right," He commented.

Soon enough it was our turn to get on board the Ghost Train and I could feel my body begin to get heavier as I sat in the carriage. If Gary was not beside me then I probably would've had a panic attack or something, but no.

I wasn't going to wimp out, not this time.

Holding onto the bar tightly with my hands I flinched as I felt the vehicle begin to move along it's bumpy course and into, what I would class, hell itself.

Shit! Shit! Shit! No getting out of it now. That is it now, Gary is going to find out I am a pansy and will hate me forever. Great...

As we entered the dark abyss I could not see my hand in front of my face, nor could I see Gary. This was not good, at least with knowing he was beside me I felt better but now, I was a trembling mess.

My eyes struggled to get adjusted to the darkness and my ears pained at the haunting sounds that shrouded us. I did not hear a murmur out of the emerald eyed boy, he must have been content or something.

How was he not fazed by this?

"G-Gary... I can't see," I murmured, holding what I thought was the bar for dear life.

"That is the idea of a Ghost Train, idiot," He commented.

Breathing a sigh of relief I now knew at least he was beside me. That was one good thing.

Suddenly I heard the most horrendous scream in my ears and then a large image jumped right into my line of vision.

Screaming out in utter shock I found myself latching onto Gary for comfort. Burying my head into his arm I closed my eyes, hearing that horrible screaming sound haunt my senses.

I wanted to get off, right now!

"Ash... what are you doing? Are you okay?" He asked, obviously knowing I was not, after all I was gripping him rather tightly.

I shook my head, still refusing to open my eyes.

"That thing... it scared the hell out of me!"

Whilst I continued to hold onto the emerald eyed boy I felt his body move a little and then his arm pulled my trembling body closer to his.

He was holding me!

Oh my God! Gary is cuddling me? No way! I thought... I thought he would laugh or mock me for being scared. Instead... he is holding me...

Opening my eyes as the train bumped along it's course I could not believe it. Gary was so warm against me and as I inhaled I could smell his distinctive scent. It was really calming and for the first time on this ride I was at ease.

Holding onto him like this and not being pushed away or anything made my heart begin to thunder inside my chest. Right now none of this mattered, the carnival, the Ghost Train, nothing.

Just me and Gary, being close like this.

It was perfect.

I wished it could have lasted a lifetime.

Whilst holding Gary tightly and not wanting to let go I hardly noticed when the ride was coming to a standstill, signalling that it was over. I felt his arm move from around my body as the vehicle stopped completely.

Sighing both Gary and I got out of the carriage and made our way back towards the bustling crowds. I never wanted that time to end, and I had no idea when I would be able to hold him like that again.

As we stood stationary outside beside one of the stalls I could feel a tremendous heat rise to my cheeks.

I was blushing again, great.

It is understandable, after all, Gary just cuddled me throughout the entire ride. It was so... amazing. So unlike anything I have ever felt before.

The emerald eyed boy just looked at me as I snapped out of my daze. He must have wanted an explanation for my actions, even though I only had one and it was pretty pathetic.

"I am... sorry," I muttered, feeling like an idiot. To my amazement he didn't look angry or annoyed, he just smiled. Patting my back gently he said;

"It is fine you idiot,"

As time lingered on and afternoon was turning into a calm and peaceful evening Gary and I had wandered around most of the carnival, we had tried countless times to win prizes and had royally failed.

Obviously my skills combined with his were not enough to win us anything of value.

We decided against going on any more fairground rides and so instead stuck to playing in the amusements. Gary seemed to enjoy gambling all his money away more thrilling anyway.

"The fireworks will be starting soon," He mused, finally deciding not to spend any more of his money on those stupid grabbing machines, which are obviously fixed.

You never win!

I nodded, feeling kind of shy all of sudden.

Fireworks, they were so romantic to me and to be able to watch them with Gary just seemed too perfect for words.

"I can't wait," I answered, smiling at the taller boy.

Walking out of the amusement arcade we both came across one stall we had not tried out yet. Glancing up I saw the prizes that were available, large plush dolls of Pokemon, holding items with little messages on.

My eyes widened as my desire to have one was great.

I turned to Gary, he too had noticed the stall and the prizes.

"Shall we give it a go?" I asked.

Gary looked thoughtful, watching as other people tried to win the prizes.

It seemed to me the aim of this game was to throw an apple into the Snorlax's mouth to win, but even so, the apples were not round. The odd shape meant it was more difficult, but I had faith.

"There is no way a stupid Snorlax is going to beat me," Gary said defiantly, walking up to the stand and addressing the man behind the counter.

I smiled, it was cute to see that he wanted to win something for me, even if it was huge plush doll.

I walked up beside him and watched as he paid the money to the man in exchange for three oddly shaped apples.

Aim was everything here, and if he got just one apple into the mouth of the Snorlax then we would be winners!

Oh wow, Gary is so determined! It is really sweet that he wants to try to win something today for me. Even if it is something so... girly.

I watched with bated breath as he leaned on the counter and tried to get a good enough aim on the Snorlax. Swinging his arm back he tossed the apple towards it's mouth. My eyes watched as it bounced off the rim and fell to the floor.

"Wow Gary, that shot really sucked," I commented.

"Shut the hell up!" He growled back, concentrating solely on getting at least one apple into the mouth. His desire to win was strong and I just continued to smile.

Maybe my torment would push him forward.

Once again he aimed at the Snorlax, trying to figure out the best way of throwing the odd shaped apple so it would not bounce off. Swinging his arm back he tossed the second apple towards it's mouth.

This time I watched as it bounced and circled the rim before falling off onto the floor again.

He is trying so hard, I can tell. Just looking at his face, he is so determined to win. Bless him.

Coughing slightly Gary stood up straight.

I wondered if he was trying to figure out the best course of action to take. It was more difficult than we first anticipated but we were not going to allow some stupid game to beat us.

Leaning on the counter once again Gary tried to aim with the last apple.

Perhaps changing the way he threw it would help?

With bated breath I watched as he tossed the last apple towards the Snorlax's mouth. It bounced a little and circled the rim of the mouth, and then to my amazement fell inside.

We did it! WE WON!"

"Told you I wouldn't let it beat me," Gary said confidently, obviously pleased with himself.

The man behind the counter looked incredibly shocked, it was as if it was rare to win one of the prizes.

I smiled, completely shocked at the fact we had won, and the people who were still trying to get the prizes were now trying harder. It just proved that it was possible if you had the finesse to do it.

The man pulled down one of the large plush dolls and handed it to Gary. It was almost as big as him so no wonder it was hard to win these prizes.

It was now I saw what we had actually won.

It was a large Teddiursa plush doll, and in it's paws it was holding a love heart. The message on the love heart read 'I love you more than chocolate'.

It was at that moment Gary noticed too and I swear I saw a faint blush tint his cheeks. I knew I was blushing, I could feel that burning sensation again.

"H-here... I don't want it!" He said fiercely, shoving the large Teddiursa plush doll into my arms.

I just held it, my face probably beet red by now.

Gary had just given me a plush doll that said 'I love you more than chocolate', so of course I was going to blush!

"Ummm... t-thanks," I muttered shyly, holding the plush tightly in my arms. This small gesture meant so much to me and even if Gary was adamant about admitting it, I knew that deep within he was aware of what he was winning.

It was at that moment our attention was alerted to the evening sky, which was soon turning to night. The grey skies were getting darker and soon the firework display would be under way.

Right now, today had been the best day of my life so far. I had got to cuddle Gary and he won me this Teddiursa plush doll.

Things could only get better.

"I know some place where we could watch the fireworks from," Gary said, the blush on his face fading.

That seemed like a great idea, after all, being in this bustling crowd would not be favourable when the firework show began. I wouldn't be able to see much.

"Is it far?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No, follow me and I'll show you,"

I nodded and both Gary and I left the carnival, leading me to this sacred spot where it would be the best view to see the firework display.

This has been like a dream. Even though I had that news about Mom I am just so happy right now. Gary has been great today, I couldn't have wished for a better turn out.

After some walking we finally reached the destination.

It was a hillside, high enough for us to sit down and watch the display without having the crowds around us.

It was too perfect.

I held the plush doll tightly in my arms as I watched Gary sit down on the grass verge, his eyes scanning the sky for the beginning to the performance.

Nervously I walked over to him and sat beside him, placing the giant plush doll to my side. This place was just great, the perfect setting to watch the display, and it was really sweet that Gary had lead me up here.

"This is great!" I said, the enthusiasm obviously heard in my voice.

Gary smiled and then turned to face me.

"See, what did I tell you?"

I smiled too, loving the feeling that was rushing through every vein in my body. This was far more than just liking Gary, much more intense and gratifying.

Our bodies remained close as we sat side by side, watching as the sky continued to darken as night was beginning to set in.

"Gary?" I said, turning to face the emerald eyed boy.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for such a great day," I complimented, actually grateful for him being here with me. If I did not have him in my life I guess I would not have the strength to carry on, especially considering my Mom was really ill.

Gary turned away, maybe a little embarrassed with what I said.

"It's okay," He murmured, his eyes focusing on the sky.

My own eyes looked down at our hands. Both of them were barely inches apart on the grass and I just wished I could hold it. It would make this moment just that little bit more special.

My attention focused to the sky when the first firework erupted into a blaze of vivid colour just above us. The display was starting and we had front row seats.

Colours of red's, green's blue's and purple's danced in the night sky, illuminating the world with it's afterglow. This whole scene was very romantic to me, and I wondered if Gary felt the same.

I want to just hold him like before... and I want him to kiss me like before. This is perfect, and I want it to be perfect. I need to tell him!

"G-Gary?" I muttered, trying to find the courage from somewhere to confess everything to him.

As he turned to face me however and those beautiful emerald eyes just gazed into mine that courage just dissipated into thin air.

"What is it?"

I looked away and swallowed hard, as the fireworks continued exploding and dancing across the summer night sky.

I knew his attention was completely consumed in me right now and I needed to tell him. I wanted to, and if I did then things would become so much clearer.

"I... have something I want... to tell you,"

As another firework erupted just above us and fizzled out, his expression said it all to me. He was not trying to act like an idiot or try to mock me, he was here and I needed to confess.

"Yeah what is it?"

I could feel a cold sweat begin to consume as those eyes burned into my soul. I just wanted to give into him right then, to kiss him in ways I never even dreamed were possible until now, and to hold him like he was my life source.

"I...I..." I started, trying my best to confess.

You can do it! Just... come out with it! I... I...

"I...kind of like you Gary,"

His eyes widened as he looked at me and I could feel my battered soul beginning to lose the will to fight.

Did he think I was joking or something?

I had never been more serious about anything in my entire life.

"You... kind of like me?" He repeated, his voice sounding extremely shocked.

I weakly nodded, feeling like an idiot. Even so, he did not seem appalled or disgusted, just shocked.

"Yeah..."

As I looked away I heard him chuckle slightly. This alerted my attention once again.

Was he laughing at me?

"Well... in that case..." Gary mused, gently placing his hand on top of mine.

I felt a silent yelp fizzle into my throat but luckily I did not express it out loud. His hand was so warm and inviting and as our eyes locked he murmured;

"I guess... I kind of like you too, Ashy-Boy"


	10. Stay With Me Tonight

"I guess... I kind of like you too Ashy-Boy"

Those words rung in my head and repeated over and over again.

He liked me, and he felt the exact way as myself. This was something that was incredibly difficult to understand.

Gary was renowned to be a big hit with the ladies after all, so, why like me?

His eyes never left mine and I could just feel my heart beating ever quicker inside my chest. This was what I had dreamed of, what I always wanted, and now I was feeling scared.

What was I scared of?

I felt his hand squeeze mine softly, causing a small shiver to dance down my spine. His simple touch sent me spiralling towards oblivion, and I knew if I allowed myself to kiss his lips once again I would not be able to stop.

As another firework erupted into colour I could not help but give into my demonic desires and slowly move closer to the emerald eyed boy, just so I could feel his soft lips on mine again, and to experience that rush that I so enjoyed.

With half lidded eyes I was expecting Gary to move away, but he did not. He stayed still, allowing me to get closer.

Soon enough our lips were only barely inches apart and his own eyes were half closed just like my own.

Did he want this? Did he want me to kiss him?

As my breath hitched in my throat I felt him press his lips against mine, ever so softly that if I was not paying attention I probably could've dreamed it. Closing my eyes I gave into this wonderful feeling that bubbled in my stomach, it was my description of heaven.

This... this is so much more than just liking him. I know it, but... I don't think he needs to know that, yet.

As the kiss lingered and I was beginning to get more comfortable I found my body shuffle closer to his, wanting to give into his everlasting touch. His hand left mine and then soon re attached itself around my waist, gently pulling me closer to him so our lips pressed closer.I tried to yelp but of course was easily quietened down.

God I loved this much more than I ever anticipated, my body was showing obvious signs.

Accidentally opening my mouth to whimper quietly Gary made his move, completely taking me off guard. His warm delicate tongue invaded my mouth with such vigour I almost fell back onto the grass. If it wasn't for him holding me against him I probably would have.

Oh my God! This is... this is... God this is turning me on... I need to calm down!

This was beginning to remind me of my dream sex with him, and was starting to arouse other parts of my body without me even wanting it to.

Damn my stupid hormones!

Not really knowing what to do in this situation I wrapped my own arms around the taller boy, allowing my own tongue to nervously embrace his. A soft moan was the only inclination I needed to know what I did was something right, and by heck did that make me feel good.

His arms pulled me closer as the kiss got a little more intense than I would ever imagine, his tongue wrestled with my own, trying to dominate it entirely. Of course he would always win, I was just like ice to him, and he was the fire.

I never would ever in my life imagine that Gary and I would be kissing like this... ever. But now, it is happening, and... I like it. No... scrap that... I LOVE it.

Now it was my turn to release a soft moan from my lips as Gary's tongue completely consumed my own, leaving me in a daze, slightly unsure whether or not this was a dream, or some sort of fantasy.

No, this was not a dream, this was real!

I could feel my arousal beginning to throb against my jeans so I needed to calm down and quickly. I don't think even I am ready for that kind of stuff just yet.

Slowly I broke away from the kiss and opened my eyes.

Gary was looking at me, his face beet red and slightly out of breath. It was so cute, I had never imagined Gary to be like this. He was always so unapproachable to many people, or an arrogant ass hole to others, but to me he allowed me to see a side of him which no-one else saw.

"G-Gary..." I murmured quietly, still trying to understand what had just happened. Of course it was obvious, the erection that was pressing against my jeans was the only proof I needed.

"You don't need to say anything," He said quietly, pressing his forehead against mine and just looked into my eyes.

Both our faces sporting that red glow that was the obvious give away of our criminal antics. I didn't care though, I wouldn't care if the whole world saw. Kissing Gary was the best thing I had ever experienced in my life.

Swallowing hard, I tried to allow all the information to sink into my brain as the beautiful fireworks still danced across the summer night sky.

He liked me, Gary actually felt the same as I did and he kissed me. It was so much more than just a kiss, dammit! My body is telling me that! But... what now?

"I am guessing you didn't expect that, huh?" Gary questioned, chuckling a little. His arms were still wrapped around me, holding me close to him and I did not want him to let go. This was all but perfect, yet deep within I was terrified.

I did not just kind of like Gary, it was more than just liking. It was probably edging towards something far more stronger. He still did not know that.

"N-no..." I mumbled, trying to fight the heat that was rising to my face. I felt his arms squeeze me slightly for comfort and it just made me want to give into him right now.

Would he kiss me again like that? Would I be able to control this terrible urge?

As I looked deeply into those emerald green eyes they sparkled in the dimming light and that smile never left his face. I could not help but smile back, even though my face felt as if it was on fire right now.

"I have wanted to do that for a while," Gary confessed, making my eyes widen a little. So it wasn't just me, he must've felt the same way for some time and we were both oblivious to it. At least we were aware of it now, and what happened next was completely up to us.

"Same here, but..." I started, feeling a lump begin to congeal in my throat.

Why was the thought of actually being with Gary properly so hard for my mind to deal with?

"What is it?" He asked, our foreheads still touching gently and his arms still embracing me as if I were a plush doll.

Looking downwards I swallowed hard.

Even though it was obvious my body was ready for something much more than just kissing, was I ready for that?

I was a virgin after all, in every sense of the word, and I had no idea if Gary was either. What if he was more experienced than me? Would he make fun out of me? Urghhh...snap out of it Ash!

As my eyes raised up to meet his I could tell by his expression than he wouldn't do that, not now.

"What happens now?" I asked, watching his face for a change in expression. The one I received completely shocked me, he looked embarrassed and maybe he had no idea either.

"Well...what do you want?"

My eyes widened and I moved away a little.

He just asked me what I wanted? Well of course I wanted him, I always did want him and if I could have him then I would.

Slowly I rubbed my nose against his, closing my eyes as I inhaled and exhaled deeply.

"I want... to be with you,"

It was at that point I felt my heart almost melt, as if it was chocolate under a burning sun. The feeling was so immense I just wanted to collapse into his embrace and stay there forever. His arms held me close as he cuddled me like I was some sort of lifeline.

"Are you sure? I mean.. I'm hardly the easiest person to get along with," He scoffed at his own remark, making me smile. Sometimes it was nice when Gary insulted himself and his personality.

Yes, he was by far the most arrogant and ignorant person I had ever met, but all that made him who he was, and that was why I liked him so much.

I nodded and his arms held me tighter.

Did this mean that Gary and I would be a couple now? Was it okay to show our affections in public?

The noise of the last firework erupting entered my ears and it signalled to the both of us that it was getting pretty late now. Heading home would probably be the next course of action so we could get ready for another day tomorrow.

Sighing I just sunk into his embrace, feeling a cool breeze waft over me. This was just amazing, like nothing I had ever experienced before. Gary wasn't the sort of person to get all soppy and stuff, especially over me. It was really odd that he could be like that with me, but I wasn't complaining.

His warmth was comforting and I just did not want it to leave my body. It seemed like whenever that warmth was absent, things just were not the same.

"I think we should head home now, it's getting late after all," Gary said, slowly releasing me from the embrace. I gave a small nod, already feeling incredibly cold and alone without his touch.

Nevertheless, we were living together right now so it wasn't like I wasn't going to see him.

"Yeah, you're right,"

As we stood up I grabbed the large plush doll of Teddiursa and held it tightly in my arms. Gary shot a look across to me, smiled faintly and begun to lead the way down the hillside and back to my house.

It would be a long walk back to Pallet Town but I did not mind it one bit. Being with Gary was the main thing, and now he knew how I felt it made situations much easier to deal with.

"You look stupid with that giant Teddiursa," Gary remarked, chuckling as we walked down the hillside. Scowling a little I replied;

"Well, you gave it me,"

It was Gary's turn to scowl, but it soon changed to a rather embarrassed expression instead.

"Like I would want something so... girly!"

I smiled, already knowing that he was getting slightly riled up. Still, it was nice to know that his personality would not change 100%, there would still be that annoying undertone to it which deep within I loved.

The weather was pleasant and a cool breeze occasionally wafted past us. Luckily for us it wasn't cold in the slightest as we both had forgotten to bring coats.

You would think I would have learnt from the last time, wouldn't you?

As we both walked back to Pallet Town under the cover of darkness everything just seemed so at ease, the atmosphere between Gary and I, the way I felt inside, everything just seemed to click into place now. With him being there for me I felt like I could deal with things easier than I would be able to on my own.

Like my Mother's illness, if Gary was not here helping me I probably would have had a break down by now. Having him here for constant support and a shoulder to cry on if I needed it made all the difference.

"Are you daydreaming again?"

I heard Gary's voice enter my ears as we walked down the street. Looking up at the taller boy I saw his raised eyebrow and shrugged;

"I was just thinking about things,"

"Oh right, I never thought you did that sort of thing,"

Holding the plush doll tightly in my arms I felt slightly confused at his remark.

"What sort of thing?"

Smirking he replied;

"Thinking, I didn't believe it was something you did a lot,"

I rolled my eyes at his sarcasm and just decided to ignore him as best as I could. Even though I had just confessed that I liked him and he had confessed too, things just seemed so normal between us. It was like we had known about this subconsciously from the start.

Well, I didn't. I had no idea Gary felt like this. Even so, the way he behaves still is just like normal. How does he do it? I'm even finding it harder to be angry at him now.

Gary must have saw my reaction to his torment and decided to wrap one of his arms around my shoulders and pull me close to him as we walked.

Unsteady on my feet I tripped slightly but managed to regain my balance. Hearing a muffled chuckle I knew he was laughing at my stumble, but it was all his fault.

"Shut up Gary, it's not funny," I grumbled.

"Well, it's only natural for you to be jumpy around me. I mean, who isn't?" Gary said coyly, giving me one of those cursed smiles that at one time I would've wanted to punch off his face. Now, I wanted to erase it with my lips so it would shut him up for good.

I just decided not to say anything and allow his arm to continue resting around my shoulders. It was comforting having Gary do this in public where anyone could see if they walked past. It was like he did not care about what people thought.

I didn't care either. Whether it was considered wrong, or what. I liked Gary, and to me it was just the same as if I liked a girl. There was no way I was going to give up on this immense feeling now, no way.

Whilst lost in my own thoughts and Gary's embrace once again I hardly noticed when we finally reached Pallet Town.

Time had actually flown for once which was extremely weird. Usually when walking home it took ages, but being with Gary just seemed to speed everything up.

The town was covered in a soft blanket of darkness and only the comforting light available was from the dimly lit street lights. For an odd reason it gave my home town a quaint appearance.

"Looks like like we are finally back," Gary mused, standing still outside my house. His arm was still around my shoulders and did not move from there as I too just gazed up at my house.

Nostalgia continued rushing through me whenever I returned here, I kept wishing that I would walk in and my Mom would be there.

But she wouldn't.

Trying to fight off these saddening emotions Gary and I walked up to my front door together. Just having him here beside me was the best source of comfort I needed.

Mom... I hope you will be okay. I want you to be able to see that I am happy, and that I finally know what I feel for him. I don't think you will be disappointed in me, I hope that you will be proud and get to see how good we are together. Mom... I miss you.

As we both entered my house I quickly reached around for the light switch. I could hardly see anything in the pitch black but soon enough artificial light illuminated the room.

It was still odd coming in and not seeing Mom rushing about doing things. It just did not feel like home.

Gary moved his arm from my shoulder as I walked over to the rucksack beside the sofa. I couldn't leave all of his things laying around, and if he was staying here for a while it would be better to put them away.

"Hey Ash, do you mind if I use your bathroom to have a shower?" Gary asked, walked up to me.

I turned my attention from the overly large rucksack to the emerald eyed boy. His expression was neutral, which was weird to see.

"Ummm... yeah sure," I mumbled, suddenly realising what Gary had just asked.

Using my shower?

I could feel that burning sensation rise to my cheeks again as images of Gary being in the shower kept flooding my mind. Frowning slightly I mentally kicked myself.

For goodness sake! Get a grip! Well... at least don't think about it when he is standing right beside you!

Turning away I placed the large Teddiursa plush doll on the sofa and just stared at it for a moment. This simple gesture just made me turn to jelly inside, and the adorable message in it's paws seemed to just make my heart melt. I then decided I should attempt to pick up the large rucksack so I could begin putting away Gary's belongings.

The weight of it was a bit of shock and when I tried the first time I failed miserably. I knew Gary would find it all too amusing, especially since it involved mocking me again.

Finally I managed to lift it up over my shoulders, wondering what the hell he packed in here. It felt like he had packed everything, but the kitchen sink.

"Don't go rummaging through my stuff though," Gary warned, giving me a smile after his words. I rolled my eyes.

Yeah, like I was totally interested in Gary's stuff, it was probably all nerd stuff anyway like research papers or hair gel. Why would I be interested in that?

"You have so much faith in me, don't you?" I retorted, giving him a small smile back.

Walking over to me his fingers gently ruffled my hair before his figure left the room towards the bathroom. Grumbling to myself I started the journey up the stairs to my room, heaving this stupidly heavy rucksack along the way.

Why does he need so much stuff? It's like he has packed everything in his room, or something. Either that... or I am incredibly weak. No, it must be the first thing I said.

Shoving my bedroom door open, rucksack first I ended up throwing it onto my bed. My fingers flicked the light switch and allowed the room to be illuminated.

Breathing heavily from using way too much energy I just stood there for a moment to catch my breath. Even when he wasn't around Gary always made me do the jobs he did not want, liking carrying stuff and putting things away.

My eyes fixed on the rucksack, actually wondering what was in there.

Yes, I know he said not to go rummaging through his smalls, but what the hell was in there?

I walked over to the bed and sat down beside the rucksack. A part of me wanted to give into my curiosity, but I did say I wouldn't and if Gary caught me doing that he probably would be pissed off. Sighing I looked down at he carpet.

Gary... even when you are only using the bathroom, a part of me misses you.

Combing my fingers through my hair I cursed at my feelings.

Of course I did not just like Gary now, that was obvious. I thought about him non stop, even when I was not meant to, he caused my body to behave in ways I was not used to, and no matter how I felt deep inside if he was around I always found a way to smile.

That was it, I needed to open the rucksack!

When I snapped out of my trail of thought I got to work on the zip, pulling it down and revealing all of Gary's packed items.

To my surprise the first thing that came into view was an item that reminded me of my childhood. Carefully I retrieved it with my hands and just looked at it. The half Pokeball that Gary and I fought over when we were kids.

But, why was it here?

Did Gary pack this because he was thinking about me? Man, does this bring back memories... come to think of it we haven't changed that much since then.

Holding this one item in my hands really said it all to me.

Back when I believed Gary did not like me that way he had packed this, this one sentimental object that we both had memories from. Even if it was something so trivial, it was still precious.

"You just couldn't help yourself, could you?"

Upon hearing that voice my attention turned towards the door.

Gary stood there, rubbing his wet hair with a towel and just smiled at me. I knew I would get caught out, I was not the best at doing things under cover. I would suck at being a spy.

"Why... did you pack this?" I asked, holding out the object towards the emerald eyed boy. It was now his turn to blush a little and as his eyes diverted from my own he mumbled;

"I... I thought it would give us something... to talk about,"

Deep within I could not help but smile. Of course he would not tell me the real reason to why he packed it, but it did not matter. Gary needed to keep some of his self preservation act up, otherwise it would not be him.

"Yeah, memories huh?" I mused, turning my gaze back to the object in my hands. Gary nodded and walked over to me, throwing the towel into the laundry basket in the process.

"Too right, I guess things don't change that much," He remarked, settling his figure beside me.

My attention was entirely focused on this sentimental keepsake, wondering why he had kept this for so long. I had wondered if he had just thrown it away.

Feeling that bubbly feeling in my stomach again I could not help but sigh a little and place the item down on the beside table.

"Well, you certainly haven't," I stated, now turning to look at him.

It was at this precise moment in time I was sure to have a nosebleed.

Here he was, just sitting there beside me wearing nothing but a towel.

A TOWEL!

Oh my God! Is he trying to kill me here? He knows how I feel, and now he sits here beside me wearing only a towel? Yeah... here comes the nosebleed...

"Ash? Are you okay?" Gary enquired curiously.

Of course I was not okay, my face felt as if it was on fire and my heart was violently throbbing in my chest. I just prayed that other areas of my body would stay under control.

"Ummm... y-yeah... fine," I lied, turning away from his burning gaze and returning to looking at my hands. Anything was better than seeing him half naked and within reach of me just holding him.

"You don't look fine," He remarked, now deciding to unpack his belongings and start placing them inside one of my spare drawers in my beside table.

I swallowed hard, feeling my hands begin to clam up with sweat. I was trying my best not to look at him in case my emotions and hormones got the better of me and I would just act on instinct.

Even though my body is behaving like this, I don't think I am ready for that mentally. It's just... I don't know, so new and stuff. I have never done anything like that with a girl before, let alone a guy! I suppose I just need to chill out.

As Gary continued unpacking his belongings I just remained mute, fighting the intense blush that covered my face and attempting to control the erratic behaviour of my heart.

It was of course hopeless, Gary just seemed to make me behave so unlike how I would usually. Like when we kissed on the hillside, I never wanted it to end, and I had never kissed anyone like that before.

"Where are you sleeping tonight?" Gary enquired, throwing the empty rucksack on the floor, alerting me instantly.

Nervously I looked at him, trying not to allow my eyes to wonder downwards and just to concentrate on his face. Shrugging slightly I replied;

"I don't know,"

"Well, I don't mind sharing the bed with you again,"

As his eyes burned into mine I knew he was deadly serious and once again my heart started up those dangerous palpitations. I felt like I was having a heart attack.

Being in the bed with Gary, knowing that we both have feelings for each other, would that lead to other things?

I swallowed hard, not able to divert my gaze.

"Well... I... ummm..." I mumbled, my words just becoming a mess.

He smiled at me, his eyes never leaving mine. I could feel my resistance slipping, and I just wanted to give into his intoxicating kisses again and again.

My attention was soon drawn to his lips, the lips that melded against mine so perfectly and the lips I longed to kiss once again.

Just do it... Ash. You know he won't push you away, just go for it!

Listening to my inner voice I decided to be brave for once and go for it. I just wanted to be in that moment once again, to feel like I was on air and that I could fly. Those feelings were the ones that my heart longed for time and time again.

With half lidded eyes I found myself being unwillingly compelled towards him, my face getting ever closer to his. Closing my eyes I pressed my lips onto his and felt that amazing butterfly feeling surge throughout my body.

Gary's arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer so our lips were crushed together in sweet harmony. As my hands latched onto his shoulders I could feel the smoothness of his skin, the warmth that his body emitted and that growing throbbing pain that was beginning to congeal in my crotch.

Please don't get an erection... please! I don't want him to know... please!

Whilst trying to mentally fight off these apparent urges I felt Gary's hands wander up the back of my t-shirt. The sudden contact on my skin caused me to yelp slightly.

Of course as expected Gary made full use of my weakness and started to gently suckle on my bottom lip.

GOD DAMNIT! Shit shit shit! There is no way I can stop this now... oh crap in a bucket!

"Aaaah~" I moaned softly, loving how delicate and tender he was towards me in this way. It was not something I was used to, Gary and sensitive in the same sentence seemed weird.

My fingers gripped tightly onto his shoulders, pulling his body closer as he continued gently suckling my bottom lip. The feelings that erupted throughout my body were indescribable, and the ever growing need for more friction was becoming apparent to my arousal.

Slowly Gary started to rub his soft tongue over my bottom lip, causing my body to shudder.

I wanted him, right now, I did not care if mentally I was unsure. My body needed him, I knew that and with this constant teasing I just longed for more.

Breaking away from the kiss I looked at the emerald eyed boy with half lidded eyes. Faint blushes smeared both our faces as I mumbled;

"Gary... I..."

"Don't talk,"

No more words came out from my mouth as once again our lips moulded together perfectly.

This time I could not help but let my hands wander down from his shoulders to his back. Underneath my fingertips I could feel the soft and subtle ridges to his spine while his own hands continued to roam downwards.

Upon feeling the sudden contact of his hands nearing my rear I leapt up.

"Ahhh, Gary!" I cried out, quickly crushing my lips into his once again as I soon relaxed against his touch. I wasn't used to anyone touching me there, especially him.

Soon enough his hands wandered upwards and started to pull my t-shirt up my body. Deep within I knew what was going to happen, and I was terrified, but I wanted this.

I wanted him.

Breaking away from the kiss I aided the taller male in removing my t-shirt and watched as he carelessly tossed it into the laundry basket.

Biting into my lip I just sat there, trying to allow all this new information into my brain.

Gary was trying to strip me? Is that what was going on? Oh man, that thought is doing unbelievable things to me.

"Are you okay with this?" Gary asked, looking into my eyes for an answer.

I gave a nod, assuring him I was fine. Yeah it was a little weird and new, but it wasn't like I did not want to do this.

My body was soon beginning to sink into the embrace of my mattress as Gary pushed me down. It wasn't needy, nor forceful. It was just loving, and tender.

A different kind of sensation cascaded through my body as he started to assault my over sensitive neck with his tongue. This scene seemed all too familiar, and as soon as I realised that I had dreamt this I could not suppress a heated moan of desire.

"Uhnnn..."

At this moment in time I just wanted to take things slowly and enjoy every precious moment with him in this way.

Closing my eyes I felt the soft tickling of his tongue fade into something more prominent. I knew what Gary was doing, he was creating a mark on me, and that simple thought made my body writhe under his.

Meanwhile my hands were just holding his body in position, gently feeling how smooth his skin was underneath my fingertips.

I never imagined this to be happening, Gary and I getting evermore aroused in my bedroom, and on my bed! The thought was making me feel all fuzzy in my head.

"Ash..." He whispered in my ear causing a trail of goosebumps to erupt all over my arms.

God, I loved it when he did that.

A small tingling sensation remained after where he had left his mark on me, and I could not help but blush. The whole world would know now, and Gary did not seem to care.

Closing my eyes I could feel the pressure continuing to build up in my crotch, it had gone beyond the point of needing now, it was starting to hurt.

Yelping slightly I felt his demonic tongue start to gently tease my ear, rubbing it's smooth damp form all over the sensitive flesh.

"Aahhh, Gary~!" I cried out, moaning out loud and trying my best to control the urges that were bubbling up in my stomach.

That was the spot to turn me on completely, and amazingly he had found it with ease.

Well... I was easy to read, like an open book.

"Do you like it Ashy-Boy?" He teased me, his voice sounding very seductive right about now.

Groaning and feeling a light glaze of sweat congealing on my forehead I could only muster a nod. My breathing was becoming very erratic as the emerald eyed boy continued teasing me to the point of breaking.

Fucking hell! I feel like I am going to explode! Stop teasing me, dammit!

As his tongue invaded my ear once again I could feel his slender yet nimble fingers work his way downwards towards my jeans. I knew what he was up to, he was still trying to strip me.

Closing my eyes tightly I continued to moan softly at his touch, so fleeting and feather like. By now my mind was clouded over with various visions, Gary kissing me hungrily, creating marks on my neck, touching my...

Stop, stop! Calm down Ash! This is all so new, so... just take a step back and just let nature take its course. God that sounded corny.

As his fingers unbuttoned my jeans and started to slide them off I cracked open one of my eyes. His movements were so slow and gentle, not violent or forceful which was not what I expected. I actually expected just to be ravaged by him.

I don't think I would've minded that either.

"Are you definitely sure you're okay with this?" Gary asked, looking at me with a solemn expression.

I nodded, smiling a little.

I could feel my heartbeat throughout my whole body and it was beginning to make me shudder with every beat. Gary took my words at face value and took my jeans off completely, and then tossed them in the laundry basket.

It was at this point I realised, I was half naked just like he was and now my erection was easy to see.

Suddenly feeling very self conscious I grabbed the sheet from the bed and hid my throbbing arousal from his view. I did not want him to see it, just yet. Gary raised an eyebrow at my actions.

"You don't have to be shy, you know? I'm not going to shout at you, or tease you,"

I just looked at him.

He was being serious, but still, I had never been half naked, or naked in front of anyone before. It was just so alien to me.

I watched as he gently held my arm, trying to get me to move the sheet away and not be so nervous. It wasn't like I could just turn off my nerves, this was my first time of doing anything like this. It was only natural to be a little scared.

"I... I'm... a little nervous," I confessed, watching as Gary's expression didn't change to that usual teasing glance. He smiled and gently rubbed my arm;

"It's okay to be nervous. You know, I'm nervous as well,"

Hearing those words actually made me feel better. I did not feel like I was alone in this, Gary and I were in the same boat and we were both experiencing new things.

Breathing inwardly I decided to relax a little and moved the sheet away. His hand kept hold of my arm, gently rubbing across the skin to comfort me.

And it actually was working.

Gary's eyes wondered down to my obvious erection through my boxers and chuckled slightly.

Well, it was only natural that I would be as hard as a rock after everything he did to me.

"Looks to me like someone's excited," He teased, bobbing his tongue out at me playfully, making me blush furiously.

I was sure he was too, only the towel concealed it from view and also hid if he had an erection. Lucky for him.

Moving his hand from my arm he reached up and cupped my cheek, just gazing into my eyes. It was now that my heart was slowly melting again, and I could not help but release a dreamy sigh. This was so much more to me than anything in the world, and I was so happy to know I could share these moments with the one person who never left my life.

"Gary..." I muttered, almost in a whisper as my eyes half closed once again.

His face drew closer to mine and ever so softly planted a subtle kiss on my lips, causing me to inhale. As my arms wrapped around the taller boy I just wanted to give into him completely, to sink into his touch, melt into his fiery kisses and be consumed by his eyes.

My longing for him grew ever stronger, wanting him to claim me in every way possible. Opening my mouth slightly Gary's tongue entered and started to delicately tease my own. I could not help but moan into the kiss as my growing desire for him was becoming prominent.

Fuck... I really want him. But... I am still nervous and unsure about it. My mind is saying I don't know, but my body is behaving differently. Who do I choose?

Whilst trying to figure it out Gary's hand had wandered down my stomach and across my crotch, gently fleeting across the obvious erection in my boxers.

I needed more friction, all this teasing was not helping matters.

"Ah... " I moaned softly, now beginning to gently suckle on his tongue.

Gary's breathing increased in vigour as his body melded closer to my own and his hand started to stroke my throbbing arousal through my boxers.

As I held him close I could feel the sensations bubbling in my stomach, and the feelings that coursed through my body were unreal.

"Mmmmm..." Gary moaned, his eyes closed as he continued to torture me.

I started to suckle his tongue a little more fierce as the pressure deep inside continued to build up. My hands now decided to bury themselves in his hair, which was now soft and fluffy and pull his face closer. I did not want this to end, I wanted to keep kissing him and touching him until we passed out.

As my breathing got heavier and my concentration was wavering I knew that this constant pain in my crotch was a reminder of what I truly desired.

"Oh my God~!" I cried out, breaking away from the kiss as Gary's hand slithered underneath the waistband of my boxers and was now properly stroking my throbbing erection.

The feel of his hand around it was a little odd, but not something I did not enjoy. This was just like my dream sex, only better as it was real.

"Ash..." Gary said quietly, looking at me through lust driven eyes. I could already feel a blush returning to my cheeks as our eyes locked. His hand continued moving in a slick motion, making my body tense up every now and then.

"Y-yeah?"

"Do you... want me?" He murmured, that seductiveness heard in his voice once again.

Biting my lip to quieten down my moans of desire I wondered why he asked that, my erection was the obvious give away to what I wanted. The blush on my face intensified as his actions got quicker, and the sensation it was creating was out of this world.

"Oh God... YES!" I cried out, throwing my head back against the soft pillows and closing my eyes.

My breathing was a mess right now, and gasping for air was the only way of getting enough oxygen into my body. Sweat beads were trickling down my face as I knew deep within if he continued this tempo I wouldn't be able to last very long.

"Aaah..." I moaned, pulling Gary down by his neck so I could hide the blush on my face.

As I gently nuzzled his shoulder I could feel that ever growing pressure rising and rising.

This was unfair. Why was I being tortured? That's it, no more mister nice Ash Ketchum.

Without hesitation I started to brush my tongue over the sensitive area of his neck. His body trembled for a moment as his hand continued to pleasure my body entirely.

As the feelings got more intense so did my own torment. To prevent moaning out in sheer lust I began suckling on his neck, now deciding I too would make a mark on him.

"Uhnnnnn" Gary groaned into my ear, obviously liking what I was doing.

I continued assaulting his neck as my breathing increased in vigour. My erection was throbbing beyond belief and soon I would have my release.

"Mhmmmm..." I moaned while suckling his neck. There would be lovely nice red mark there to revel about later and that thought kind of pleased me.

"Aaah... Ash,"

The emerald eyed boy was obviously struggling to keep himself composed as I kept up this constant assault on his neck. All was fair in love and war after all.

Hearing his heated groans of desire were extremely delicious to my ears and almost tipped me right over the edge. A part of me had to control myself for a second.

"G-Gary... I..." I murmured, struggling under his touch.

The fast pace of his motions were driving me insane and I couldn't stop the inevitable soon.

Placing a single kiss on his neck I closed my eyes tightly and gripped the taller boy like he was a lifeline.

It was then I felt it.

"Aaaaaahhhhh... GARY!" I almost screamed, holding onto him for dear life as my orgasm rocked throughout my body, releasing that pent up steam within me.

Keeping my eyes closed and just embracing the green eyed boy I waited until my orgasm had finally quietened down and I could start to calm myself.

Opening my eyes slightly my vision was somewhat blurring, but I knew what had just happened. The realisation sunk in pretty quick when I felt a warm sticky liquid on my stomach.

Oh my God. Did that just happen? As if... I just got jacked off by Gary Oak. Holy Mother of God!

Moving away from Gary I looked downwards at the crime scene.

As expected my stomach and some of the bed sheets were covered in my own liquid. That would be a pain to wash off.

As my eyes looked up towards Gary's face I noticed that he was blushing. He wasn't looking at me however, his attention was focused on the crime scene, only there wouldn't need any investigation.

"Gary..." I murmured, watching as his eyes raised to mine.

"Yes?"

"Why... why did you do that?" I enquired, very curious to why this even happened. Not that I was complaining about it, and I was even more thrilled that the throbbing sensation was now completely gone.

"I wanted to see what it was like," He answered plainly, wiping his sticky hand on the towel that was wrapped around him.

Well, that was fair enough, after all he probably had never done anything like that with a guy before.

Reaching over to grab the towel from the laundry basket to swipe away the incriminating evidence I just could not help but smile.

Gary must have been a mind reader, he must've known that I was in desperate need of release, but was not ready to go all the way yet. That was kind of sweet.

As I wiped away the evidence Gary got up and opened the drawer with his belongings in and retrieved a pair of boxers.

"I will go and change now," He mused, giving me a smile before getting up to leave and get changed ready for bed.

I nodded and continued attempting to be rid of the incriminating white stain that murdered my bed. I wished I had picked lighter colour sheets, then it would not be as damn noticeable.

Sighing I placed the towel back into the laundry basket and just thought.

Gary... he is being so nice to me. That was something out of this world, and now I know that it doesn't feel wrong to do things like that with him. It feels so right.

Adjusting my boxers I sat crossed legged on my bed, waiting for Gary's return.

After all that excitement I was beginning to feel drowsy and longed for my well deserved sleep.

As I fluffed up one of my pillows that had gotten crushed in the midst of it all my mind kept wandering to him. Liking Gary was something I had to get used to, but this. This was definitely something new, something I was unsure of.

Did I even know what it meant?

"Tired?" Came Gary's voice as he returned wearing the black boxers he retrieved from the drawer.

I gave a weak nod and yawned loudly. All this commotion had really worn me out and now to end this perfect day I would just love to fall asleep in his arms.

"That doesn't come as a surprise," He mused, walking over to where I sat and sat beside me.

He gave me a smile and I could not help but feel terribly content. Things were just so damn perfect right now, and even with my Mom being in hospital and her being terribly ill I knew that with Gary here with me I could cope, somehow.

As I settled down into the bed, pulling the sheets over my half naked body to gain some warmth Gary got up to switch the light off so the room would become shrouded in velvet darkness.

Closing my eyes I sighed, breathing in the scent of our antics. It was just like my dream, only better because it was real.

Snuggling into the pillow I felt Gary's figure enter my bed and settle beside me. Usually I would expect him to turn over and go to sleep, but not this time.

I felt one of his arms come snaking across my waist and lay there. His body pressed up against mine as his warmth completely consumed me and allowed me to give into this perfect scene.

"Good night Ashy-Boy," Gary whispered, bending over to gently kiss my cheek. I blushed at the contact of his lips on my skin, and as he settled back into the bed, arm around my waist pulling me close I murmured quietly;

"Goodnight Gary,"


	11. You're Not Shouting Anymore, You're Silently Broken

To my surprise a week past very quickly, I just put that down to the fact I was subconsciously loving the one person who made life that much better, and also we were getting along like a house on fire.

I visited Mom everyday with him, watching as she went through her gruelling physiotherapy, which apparently was meant to help her lung strengthen so it would inflate again. A part of me had doubts to whether it would work but he always kept optimistic about it.

Gary and I spent the majority of our time together, going out to places, watching films or just snuggling up in front of the television. I even managed to make a few phone calls to my friends, Brock and Misty.

I told them about our relationship and to my surprise Misty was supportive.

I knew Brock would be, but I expected the book to be thrown at me by her. She just said that as long as I was happy then she would too. That was comforting to know.

Things were going just perfectly for me right now, and, as expected something had to come along to ruin my happy mood.

It was a Friday evening, Gary and I were watching television, just enjoying each others company when I received a phone call. It kind of caught me off guard, as I did not think anyone would be ringing at such an inconceivable hour.

As I reached for the phone I knew Gary would be just staring at me, wanting to know what was going on. I did too.

"Hello?" I answered cautiously.

"Hello, can I speak to Ash Ketchum please?" The authoritative voice sounded. Scratching the back of my head I responded;

"Speaking,"

"I have news about your Mother, Delia Ketchum. The physiotherapy has not worked as we would have liked, and we need you to come down to the hospital immediately,"

I almost dropped the phone as I went numb.

It didn't work? Did this mean that she was... NO! This was not happening!

Turning to steal a glance at Gary he could tell by my expression that I was getting evermore upset.

"W-what? But... how? You said.."

"I will explain more in person, but please, try to get here as soon as possible. We need to discuss the next course of action with you,"

I swallowed hard, rubbing my forehead with my hand.

I couldn't believe it, I had been visiting her and she seemed to be getting better.

Why had it suddenly changed?

"I... I will get there as soon as I can," I mumbled, and with that I ended the conversation.

As I put the phone down and returned to my seat on the sofa Gary looked at me with questioning eyes.

"Who was that?"

Not even managing to look at him properly and feeling like the whole world was just crashing down on me I murmured;

"It was the hospital... it's Mom... the physiotherapy failed,"

As I placed my head in my hands I just wanted to cry. The thought of losing her was beginning to be too much for me. I could feel my body starting to tremble with uncertainty.

Gary's arms encased themselves around my convulsing body and pulled me close to him to calm me down. I found myself latching onto the emerald eyed boy for comfort. I needed him here, holding me and being a shoulder to cry on. My heart was just a broken mess right now and I wasn't sure how long I could hold it together.

"Try not to work yourself up too much, I am sure the hospital will sort it out," Gary soothed, gently combing his fingers through my hair as I buried my face into his shirt.

Inhaling deeply I closed my eyes. Even though I was eternally grateful for this simple gesture I could still feel my insides breaking and shattering as if it were made of glass.

"I... I'm scared Gary," I muttered, feeling very pathetic right about now.

All these emotions burning deep inside made me feel useless.

I could not help her in any way, I was stuck here just moping around feeling sorry for myself.

Nuzzling into my hair Gary continued to quieten me down with these simple gestures, and it was slowly beginning to work. My body wasn't so tense when he embraced me and I just could feel all my problems start to melt away.

"Don't be scared, I am sure the Doctor's will do everything in their power to make sure she will be okay," He assured me, holding me closer.

I sighed, half wanting to believe his words, yet my heart just could not. A part of me did not even want to leave here and go to that dreaded place, seeing all that white again was bound to make me feel nauseous.

Lucky for me I had Gary here for constant support, and no matter what I knew that I could rely on him. He would always be there for me, and that was something I couldn't ever take for granted.

Once I had finally accepted this fact Gary and I caught a taxi down to the hospital as it was rather late at night, and walking did not seem favourable. I just wanted to get there as fast as possible and be done with this. Knowing that there was a possibility of seeing her just as weak as before was ripping my heart apart, and it was only the support from Gary that kept me from falling apart.

As we sat in the taxi and went along our very quiet journey I felt him hold my hand to comfort me. Looking down I watched as his fingers intertwined with mine and squeezed softly. I gave a weak smile, genuinely content that he felt perfectly okay with holding my hand out and about.

At least that was something to be grateful for.

Stepping out of the taxi was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life. As my eyes depicted that horrible building once again I could feel all my energy drain out of my body.

I sighed, not wanting to hear all their damn excuses to why she was still sick.

It was there stupid job to make sure she would get better, not to make everything worse.

"Try not to get too worked up in their Ash, after all, they are doing the best they can," Gary's voice entered my ears as he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I gave a weak nod, not actually knowing if I would be able to contain my rage if they should tell me that it was their fault.

Maybe Gary would stop me from doing anything too drastic?

"I'll try, I won't make any promises though," I warned, placing my hand on top of his and squeezing gently.

As I turned to look at him he smiled at me. It wasn't a happy smile however, it was more awkward, as if he was trying to make me smile too.

Right now though that was not going to happen.

If the staff at the hospital had failed to do their job they were going to feel my wrath, that was a given.

As we both walked into the hospital, now comfortably hand in hand I noticed that there were not as many people hanging around as I expected. Probably because it was quite late at night and visiting hours were over.

The only people I saw scurrying about like beetles were nurses and the odd doctor here and there.

As we walked down the very familiar narrow corridor to where my Mom was being held captive I grimaced.

All this white was draining me of energy, I hated it with a passion.

Why did they have to paint these God forsaken buildings in this sickly colouring? I am sure the patients would prefer some splash of colour in here.

I held Gary's hand tightly as we walked down the very quiet corridor.

Deep inside I was a mess, wondering what I would find.

Would she be even worse than before?

Mentally kicking myself I dismissed that thought and tried to remain positive. There must be something else they could do.

"Ah, Ash" Came the familiar voice of the Doctor.

As I spun around, still holding Gary's hand for dear life I saw the tall figure of the authoritative man, holding some papers in his hands.

"Yes, is it... really bad?" I enquired, watching as the Doctor sped on ahead of us and lead the way to her room.

"Well, not as such. We can operate on her, but, we do need her consent to do so. Right now she is sleeping so we will not know if we can operate until tomorrow,"

I sighed, leaning against Gary for comfort as we walked.

Seems like this predicament was getting worse and worse. Operating on her? I would never have believed her illness to be so severe.

"What operation would you have to do?" Gary asked.

"We would have to make a small incision in her throat so we could get a tube down their to vacuum up all the excess fluid that is causing her lung the problems. If we do that then it should regain it's strength and be able to function on it's own,"

I grimaced at the thought.

Cutting her throat?

I know he said a small incision but still, when anyone spoke of operations my mind went into overdrive and I could imagine something a lot worse.

"Will she definitely get better after the operation?" Gary pursued, being my mouth piece for now.

As we came to a stop outside that familiar room all I could do was lean against him, sighing softly. All this news was making me feel depressed, and it was the first time I felt this bad.

Usually he would be able to make my problems fizzle away, but not this time. It had hit me like a rock in the face.

"There is a 95% probability that she will make a full recovery yes," The Doctor said with a reassuring smile, shuffling the papers in his hands.

Even so, my heart felt like it was made of lead and was constantly sinking as time lingered on.

I needed to get out of here, I didn't even want to see her. The thought of her suffering was causing a tsunami of emotions to well up inside.

"Thank you for telling us," Gary said kindly to the professional man, who adjusted the papers in his hands for the millionth time, I swear he was nervous.

"We will contact you tomorrow about her decision, in the meantime I suggest that you do not worry over this and try to get some sleep. We are doing everything we can,"

No... they aren't. If they was then he wouldn't be fucking standing out here talking to us! He would be in there with her, trying to sort out this stupid mess. For fuck's sake!

Scowling slightly I released Gary's hand and moved away, feeling my rage beginning to increase.

It was so unfair, why did I have to go through all this shit? I didn't deserve this, and neither did she.

As the Doctor issued an awkward smile he made his way into the room where she lay, probably in no fit state for visitors. I just wanted her to know that I was happy with Gary, and I wanted her blessing. Even though I knew she would not be disappointed in me for being Gay just to know she was happy for me would've been nice.

"Ash... if you keep frowning like that you are going to get really bad frown lines when you are a withered old man," Gary joked, nudging my arm slightly.

I looked at him and saw him smiling at me. Usually I would smile back, but not this time.

How could I smile at a time like this?

"Yeah... and you're going to be like a whiny old lady if you keep nagging me," I replied, a lot colder than I anticipated.

Mentally cringing I wondered if he took it to heart, but when I looked at him he just shrugged it off.

Thank God for that, I did not mean for it to sound so harsh.

As my eyes found their way to the floor I felt Gary's arm wrap around my shoulder and pull me flush against his side.

"Come on misery guts, let's get you back home,"

At that moment in time it was the best idea he had ever said.

I weakly nodded, and was almost being dragged out of the sickly white washed building by the taller boy. I didn't mind of course, if I had my way I would never want to see this place ever again.

I just... want to be able to smile again, and I know that when I am with him he makes me feel like that. Why... why do I feel so... useless?

As Gary called another Taxi so we would not have to walk home I just allowed my overexert mind to dwell on things.

Ever since I had heard that the physiotherapy had failed I just seemed to give up.

Maybe she wouldn't ever recover and she would be stuck in that infernal place for the rest of her life?

I sighed and leaned against a nearby street lamp, feeling a sudden cold rush enter my body. My eyes just watched Gary's relaxed figure as he spoke to the person on the other end of the phone.

How was it that he could always be so calm, and relaxed? I wished I could've been more like him, then perhaps I wouldn't be feeling as rotten as I do right now.

"They said it will be here in five minutes," He called out to me, shoving his phone into his pocket and started to walk over to where I was.

I gave a weak nod, turning my gaze away.

It wasn't like I did not want to look at him, it was just that I couldn't. It was already bad enough trying not to cry right now, and if I actually accepted this properly I feared for my sanity.

"Come on Ash, cheer up a little. It's not like they said she is dying," Gary tried to console, which of course did not work.

I stared at him, not knowing what to say back to that.

Yes, I knew she was not dying, but because the physiotherapy failed there was always that chance things could go from bad to worse.

"How can I cheer up when she is lying in there and all those stupid Doctors ever do is rush around and panic!" I said severely, resting my head back against the lamp post.

Biting the inside of my lip I cursed myself.

I knew I shouldn't be lashing out at Gary, he hadn't done anything wrong, but right now I just couldn't stop this fury. Sighing a little I heard Gary's voice again.

"Alright, no need to bite my head off you know,"

I'm sorry Gary, just right now... I need to vent.

When the taxi finally arrived and both Gary and myself entered the large black vehicle we were soon on our way back to my house.

The journey was in total silence as my eyes just concentrated on the scenery passing us by. My head was a mess, I had subconsciously convinced myself that now things were doomed and going to get worse. I just couldn't retain that optimism that Gary had, a part of me had just given up hope.

Sighing I leaned into the embrace of the seat, my eyes not managing to focus on anything in particular now. Everything was just a blur, and my heart continued to hurt inside.

I wanted my Mom back, happy and healthy, fussing over me as usual. I never thought I would miss that, but I did.

To snap me out of my daze I felt Gary's hand rest on my shoulder.

Even after everything he was trying to be supportive for me. I wished I could've given something back right now instead of sulking like an immature child.

Coping with things wasn't my natural talent, I knew that now, but even so I had to at least try to lighten up. My mood and this atmosphere was becoming as sour as a citrus fruit.

Soon enough we were back home, Gary paid the driver and sent him on his way as I just stood motionless in front of my house.

I could feel all my emotions piling up and getting stronger by the second.

This just wasn't home without her, it would never be the same.

"Come on Ash," Gary said softly, walking on ahead of me to the front door.

Swallowing hard I just felt as if I couldn't bear to go inside and be constantly reminded of her. Even though she was still fighting for her life the thoughts that were ruling my head were not so friendly.

I knew there was a chance that this illness could steal her away from me, and accepting it was difficult.

Breathing deeply I followed Gary's tall slim figure to the front door and reached for my keys in my jeans pocket. As I rammed them into the lock I just continued to think about how I was becoming so riled up and snappy at every little thing.

I hoped Gary wasn't taking this personal.

Turning the keys in the lock I pushed the door open and we both walked inside.

Upon entering my once humble home I threw the keys down on the table and found myself storming off.

Why couldn't I control my feelings and thoughts?

I was behaving so appallingly but I couldn't help myself. She was suffering in silence and I just couldn't handle it any more.

"Ash! Wait!" Gary shouted to me but I was long gone up the stairs on the way to my room.

I needed to get away, I needed to relax a little and unwind.

This constant nagging in my brain of what the Doctor's told me was eating me up inside.

Stomping up the stairs to my room I shoved the door open and walked inside. Right now I did not care if Gary was following me or not, right now I needed space.

For Fuck's sake! I don't need this shit! Why can't she just get better and come home? Why must everything hang in the balance? It's so unfair... and why does all this fucking shit happen to me?

As I sat down on the bed, head in my hands, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in my brain my ears detected the faint creaking sound of my bedroom door.

Gary had obviously followed me up here, worried about my unusual behaviour.

"For God's sake Ash! Calm the fuck down! You're going to have a breakdown if you carry on like this!" He almost pleaded.

As I raised my head and looked at him standing by my door I felt a wave of anger wash over me completely.

Calm down? CALM DOWN?

"Calm down? Don't tell me to calm down! I have just been told that my Mom's therapy has failed to work! How am I meant to feel Gary?" I shouted in rage, glaring at him before placing my head back into my hands.

I heard him sigh and shuffle around the room.

"Well, you're meant to stop acting like such a kid and grow up! Yes, the therapy failed, but it's not the end of the fucking world! There are other options you know,"

Gripping onto my head tighter I could just feel the anger continuing to rise, and the heat burning my face. He had no clue to how I was feeling, I don't think he ever had anything like this happen to him.

He has no right to lecture me about growing up! How can he say that when he has no fucking idea how this is affecting me?

Getting to my feet and just glaring at the taller emerald eyed boy I returned;

"You have no right to tell me how to behave! You haven't even been through what I am going through, you have no fucking idea how this is affecting me!"

Whilst my hands were starting to ball into fists I watched as he neared me, his stance sending off a negative impulse that seared through me.

Narrowing his eyes he glared at me coldly.

"Actually.. I fucking do. How the hell do you think I feel? I never get to see my Mom, she is too busy wrapped up in research in other countries to even bother to phone me and ask if I am okay. You still have your Mother, Ash, you're so lucky. So don't start having a go at me! Maybe if you wasn't so self obsessed then this wouldn't have happened!"

Oh no he didn't! He did not just go and fully blame me for this!

Getting nearer to the emerald eyed boy with my hands balled into fists I growled angrily;

"Oh right, so I suppose all this is my fault is it?"

"Yes, it is! If you weren't so fucking obsessed with being a Pokemon Master then your Mom probably wouldn't have worn herself out so much. Because you are so self obsessed and in your own perfect little world you allowed her to get sick, and you didn't even know! If Gramp's didn't phone you then you probably would still be gallivanting around Sinnoh as we speak!"

His words actually made me speechless.

They were true as well, if Professor Oak had not have called me then I would've been oblivious to it.

Maybe I was self obsessed... and maybe it was all my fault that she got sick...

My eyes looked downwards at the ground and my hands unclenched and relaxed at my side.

I couldn't believe what he said, it was all true.

I didn't even know about Gary's Mom so for me to say that he had no idea how I felt was kind of harsh. He did not even know if she was okay, or where she was.

At least I did, even if she was in a hospital.

"I..." I mumbled, now starting to feel incredibly sorry for myself.

"And you know it's true, so stop behaving like a stupid immature brat and grow up!"

I managed to raise my eyes so they looked into his.

His expression had softened now and wasn't as angry as before. His eyes had regained that beautiful sparkle that I cherished and for an odd reason I could feel myself beginning to well up inside.

Everything he had just said really hit home and made me realise that acting like this wasn't going to make her any better, in fact it would just make me feel worse.

As I continued to stare into his eyes I found myself beginning to edge closer to him, our faces drawing nearer with every second.

As the breath hitched in my throat I gently pressed my lips against his, as all these emotions and feelings about my Mom were starting to just fizzle away like dying sparks of a fire.

Suddenly without warning I was fiercely snatched away from those enticing lips and rammed harshly against a nearby wall.

Hands gripping onto the collar of my t-shirt I flinched in shock and terror.

Gary did not look pleased with what I just did and was keeping my back firmly pressed up against the wall. A burst of pain shot through me like a bullet and I winced.

Why did he do that? Was it the whole argument?

As I looked into his eyes I saw a mixture of two emotions, hatred and also lust. The deathly hold he had over me right now was almost enough to lift me off the ground.

"Not like that," Gary mumbled quietly, still glaring at me through narrowed green eyes.

I swallowed hard, wondering if he was just going to beat me up here and leave me to rot. The tenseness in his hands seemed to relax a little as time lingered on but even so, I kept thinking why he was doing this.

Did I really make you that angry? I am so sorry Gary, I never meant to hurt you. And the way you looked at me then, like you were silently broken. What I said I really regret, and.. I don't want to lose you.


	12. For The First Time

A lump congealed in my throat as my eyes remained fixated on Gary's countenance.

Even though his gaze had softened a question still wreaked havoc in my head.

Why was he grabbing me and pushing me up the wall like this? Was it because he was mad at me?

I could feel my face starting to burn the longer we stayed in this scene, igniting my cheeks with a heat that probably could've been felt from a distance. Right now I did not care if he saw me blushing, I just wanted to know why.

"...like this," He murmured, pulling me flush against him by my collar and crushing his lips into mine hungrily.

Eyes widened I couldn't quite believe what was happening.

His eyes were closed as his mouth completely dominated my own, causing my willpower to wilt away. The grip on my collar remained firm as his tongue started to caress the contours of my mouth, making me shiver.

I placed my hands on top of his as I closed my eyes, finally giving into this lust driven kiss. Pressed up between the wall and Gary's body I could feel every move he made against me, and it was slowly driving me to distraction.

"Aaah, Gary..." I murmured weakly, soon becoming mute when his tongue entered my mouth.

The feelings that erupted through me were indescribable and the friction that was felt against every inch of my body was sending me towards oblivion.

Our lips continued to collide as our tongue intertwined, causing me to whimper a soft moan of pleasure at both his dominance and the sheer eroticism of this mental scene.

While my mind was completely fogged over by Gary's advances I hardly noticed that he had spread my legs a little and now had one of his legs in-between my own. Holding onto his hands I continued to be dominated by his tongue, feeling as it intoxicated me entirely.

One of his knees raised up a little and started to gently rub against my crotch, causing me to moan into his mouth at the friction.

Dear GOD! Since when did this lead to something so... God damn... oh man, I really want him!

"G-Gary... I... aaah..." I mumbled quietly, breaking from the kiss and closing my eyes. I had nowhere to run, I was stuck between a wall and Gary.

Not too bad really, it could've been a hell of a lot worse.

"What is it Ashy-Boy?" He teased, loosening his grip on my collar and allowing his hands to reconnect themselves by burying into my hair.

The soft tug on my raven locks caused me to whimper like a newborn puppy under his control and I felt myself beginning to harden considerably. Every time his knee ever so softly rubbed that sensitive area I just craved for more.

My arms wrapped around his body, keeping him flush against me as I found it harder to breathe. The rhythm was now becoming more erratic and for an odd reason this seemed to excite him.

"I... aaahhh... Gary... uhhhnnn... d-don't... stop..." I murmured, feeling a bead of sweat start to trickle down my face.

Another soft tug on my hair caused me to moan softly and once again the space between our mouths disappeared as our lips collided. My hands started to wonder down his back as my arousal was beginning to throb a little and needed more contact.

Tormenting me was something Gary enjoyed the most, it was a given.

Even so, I could feel myself getting hotter and hotter the longer this went on, and for odd reason I had gained some courage from somewhere.

As I moaned into the kiss I allowed my hands to trail down his back and gently rest on his butt. He jolted a little but soon relaxed against my touch.

It was a little strange I will have to admit, feeling another boy's butt, however it wasn't unpleasant.

Squeezing gently Gary opened his mouth and moaned loudly, eyes closed as his forehead gently pressed against mine.

I had no idea he would get turned on so easily.

"Fuck..." He groaned, removing his knee from my very sensitive and now very hard arousal.

As his fingers buried themselves in my hair he pulled me close to him so my head was now resting against his chest. Our bodies were still flush against each other and it was then I realised that even though his knee was absent, something else was prominent.

Gently nuzzling against his warm chest I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth and the scent that he radiated. I also loved how his breathing was just like my own, a complete and utter mess.

As I squeezed a little rougher, pulling him closer to my body the emerald eyed boy whimpered a little, his grip on my head increasing.

"Ah... Ash..." He moaned, now removing one of his hands from my hair to keep his balance against the wall.

"You like it?" I asked, my voice sounding terribly sickly sweet just then, but I did not hear any complaints. The only thing I could hear were the soft groans of the taller boy and the rabid inhales when he was breathing.

Smirking a little I decided to give Gary a taste of his own medicine, after all, he had made me incredibly hard right now so it was only fair.

My hands slid underneath the material of his jeans and wondered under the waistband of his boxers. I knew that my hands were cold, they always were, and when they softly touched the bare skin of Gary's butt he yelped in surprise at the sudden chill.

"Fuck me! Your hands are freezing!" He cursed, trying to get his breathing back to a regular rhythm.

Inside I was smiling.

His skin was soft and warm, also I quite enjoyed the fact I was touching Gary's backside without him complaining.

Being flush up against the wall and the taller boy I pulled Gary closer by his butt so our bodies were completely moulded together.

I was positive he would be able to feel my erection, after all, it was causing a small tent in my jeans.

"Oh... God..." He murmured, tugging my hair a little as my face continued to be buried into his chest.

In my opinion his butt was perfect, nothing like I had expected it to be like. That was just a bonus for me.

Closing my eyes I moaned softly as Gary started to genty grind his hips against me, causing my arousal to throb angrily inside my jeans.

"G-Gary... please... s-stop... I... aaahhh..." I whimpered, now discovering that due to my antics I was slowly beginning to slide down his jeans, along with his boxers.

That was not part of my plan.

The grinding motion was driving me crazy and right now I wanted him, I needed him.

"What did you say Ash? I didn't quite hear that," He mocked, continuing to grind his own obvious erection against mine.

Material against material I could feel the pressure building up slowly in the pit of my stomach.

I really wanted him right now, I did not care if it was up the damn wall! Just, I needed this annoyance to be gone.

"I... please... stop... you're... aaahhh... turning... me on," I managed to utter, moaning softly in-between words.

Suddenly that contact was unfairly snatched away from me and was replaced with my body being lifted up by Gary himself.

Eventually my body came into contact with the soft embrace of my mattress.

Gary leaned over me, panting a little as both of our faces were stained with a red glow.

Was this what was going to happen? Were we...?

"Then why stop?" He said in an almost whisper, nearing his face to my own.

My eyes darted about his countenance, looking into those lust driven eyes and watching how his lips curled into a small smirk. I just had a feeling that things were going to get rather out of hand.

Hungrily Gary attacked my mouth, his lips colliding with mine angrily as my hands now found themselves buried into his hair.

Tugging slightly the taller boy moaned into my mouth as his tongue softly traced the contours of my slightly parted lips.

I wanted more, I needed more, and with that I started to gently nibble his bottom lip, watching as the emerald eyed boy trembled. My erection by now was as solid as a rock and soon would probably burst out of my jeans.

"Ash... uhnnnn..." He groaned softly, allowing his hands to slither all the way down my body, feeling every inch.

I did not mind at all, in fact I wanted him to continue.

As our lips parted I reattached them to his neck, starting to gently suck at the tender flesh just hard enough to cause a mark.

"Fuck... Ash..." He moaned a little louder, as my fingers still remained buried in his wild hair.

His own hands however were now starting to pull my t-shirt up my body as he panted with desire. It was obvious we were both struggling, our heavy breathing was the give away.

I removed my hands and moved my arms so Gary could easily slide off my t-shirt.

I released my lips from his neck for a brief moment before continuing to assault the emerald eyed boy. With the absence of my t-shirt I pulled Gary closer to my body, wanting to feel that soothing warmth he emitted.

Shuffling my body a little I started to rub one of my legs against Gary's watching as he trembled and struggled against my touch.

"Aaaah..." He moaned, his hands continuing to caress my body, slithering slowly down my chest towards where my throbbing erection was concealed.

A part of me wondered if I continued to tease him would he just dominate me? That I actually wouldn't mind.

Hungrily he tore his neck away from my mouth and started to undo the zip on my jeans in haste.

I just watched him, panting a little and pleased with that beautiful red mark that glazed his perfect skin. As his fingers hooked into the waistband and started to tug them downwards I could clearly see my erection through my boxers.

Well, it was kind of obvious.

Discarding my jeans on the floor carelessly Gary leaned over me once again, tracing a finger down my lips slowly and seductively.

"I want you, Ashy-Boy" He almost whispered, causing me to shiver in delight.

I wanted nothing more, right now all I needed was him, and I craved for his touch.

My hands trailed up to his shirt and started to undo the buttons, wanting him to be just as naked as I was. He wasn't going to get away with it.

Once the last button was opened my hands felt every contour and every ridge of his chest, from the subtly defined abdominal muscles to his broad shoulders. It made me inhale sharply.

I wished I looked this beautiful.

With a little help Gary discarded the unwanted piece of clothing on the floor, and started to get to work on his jeans too.

A fierce blush glazed my cheeks at I watched the emerald eyed boy undress himself. It was so damn erotic, I could feel the pulsating of my arousal already.

It needed him, and so did I.

Once his jeans were also ridden of Gary returned to leaning over me, his knees either side of my body.

"I... want you too..." I murmured, whimpering slightly at the last word.

With half lidded eyes I noticed his own erection too, making his boxers into a tent.

It wasn't just me then.

Suddenly I found my freedom violated as he grabbed my wrists and held them above my head, preventing me from moving.

My eyes widened as he just looked into them, those beautiful yet intoxicating emerald pools of water just making me melt. I continued to struggle to keep composed as now he pressed his half naked body flush up against me, our erections pushed together.

The contact made me moan softly as my desire continued to escalate.

"How badly do you want me, Ashy-Boy?" Gary teased, letting his tongue softly rub over my lips. Trying to suppress another heated groan I answered;

"I... want you... so... bad..."

It was then that he grind his hips against me and caused me to yelp in surprise.

Feeling our erections pressing together was having this amazing effect on my body. It was hard to explain.

Every time Gary moved his hips he was also struggling, panting a little and allowing a soft moan to escape his lips every now and then.

All this friction was doing no good for my health and right now I was unable to move.

He was completely dominating me, and I liked it.

"G-Gary... stop... I... can't... aaahhh... take much... more," I murmured, breathing heavily as the pressure was building up considerably in the pit of my stomach.

Closing my eyes I felt one of his hands release my arm and slither down my body causing me to shiver. His touch always had that effect on me, it just sent me spiralling towards oblivion.

Suddenly I gasped for air as his hand wondered underneath the waistband of my boxers and had started to stroke me softly.

"Aaaaahh..." I mewled, throwing my head back into the pillows as Gary continued to completely dominate me.

"Do you like this Ashy-Boy?" He teased, giving me that seductive look which I loved.

Closing my eyes I could feel the tingling sensation begin to boil in my stomach as he continued to assault my arousal.

"Oh... God... y-yes..."

"Do you want more?" Gary whispered into my ear, sending a volcano of goosebumps to erupt all over my body.

I shivered at the thought of doing anything else with Gary, right now I was so sexually aroused I wanted more. As his hands quickened on my arousal and sweat beads started trickling down my face I panted;

"I... aaaahhh... y-yes..."

His other hand released my arm so I could freely move and started to slowly slide down my boxers.

I still hadn't got used to this, Gary seeing my erection, even though he has seen it all before.

My now free hands started to softly caress his body, feeling every ridge and indentation. As they moved downwards I moaned a little louder as his hands continued to assault my erection, his pace quickening.

My body tensed up a little as I started to slide his boxers down. There was no way he was getting away with it, he had to suffer as well.

Once I had managed to slide them down my hand wrapped around his own obvious erection and started to stroke it gently.

"A-Ash..." Gary moaned, resting his head on my shoulder as he breathed heavily.

Every time he quickened the pace on me I would do the same, until I was literally feeling like I was going to burst. I just couldn't take much more.

"Oh God... I... aaahhh..." I moaned loudly, throwing my head back into the pillows, closing my eyes tightly.

"Uhnnn... fuck... aaah..." Gary groaned, his body trembling as he too must have been suffering in the same manner as myself.

Whilst lost in this overwhelming feeling I soon noticed when his hand stopped stroking me and moved away, leaving me to hang in the balance.

Mentally cursing I wondered why he stopped, I was so close and yet he did not let me release.

"Ash... do you... wanna..." The emerald eyed boy muttered bashfully, sitting upright, his knees either side of my body as a faint red glow glazed his cheeks.

I moved my hand away from his erection and actually thought about it.

I was a virgin, I had never had sex before with anyone. Was it safe and more to the point would it hurt?

"Well... I... don't know," I answered, trying to settle my breathing to a reasonable level.

Gary gave me a shy smile, gently reaching out to caress my cheek.

"It's okay if you don't want to,"

"No... I do, it's just..." I mumbled, now feeling my own cheeks flush up.

Was it okay to confess to Gary that I was scared about sex? I was almost sure he wouldn't find it amusing and tease me about it, but still I was a little reluctant to confess.

"What?" He pursued, looking deeply into my eyes.

"I... I'm a little scared" I answered honestly, watching as Gary did not laugh or mock me, he just smiled.

"It's okay to be scared Ash, everyone is nervous the first time they do it,"

Swallowing hard I knew he was right, but still, what if it really hurt?

I had never had sex with a guy before, or ever considered it before Gary came along. Was it okay?

"Will... it hurt?" I murmured shyly, leaning into his touch as his thumb gently stroked my cheek. He gave a small indecisive shrug;

"I'm not really sure, but I've been told that if you relax then it should be okay, so don't worry too much"

I nodded, trying to steady my breathing.

So, if I relaxed and didn't tense up then I would be okay? Well, that was a positive thought.

"Okay then..." I answered, smiling at the emerald eyed boy who placed a soft kiss on my nose.

Sighing a little I tried my best to steady my nerves and try not to get too worked up over it.

Even so... the thought of actually having sex is kind of scary, sounds pathetic right?

Taking a deep breath I propped myself up on my elbows and just watched every move he made. He looked just as nervous as I did, perhaps even more so. It did not fill me with the greatest confidence, but Gary wouldn't ever intentionally hurt me. I knew that much.

His body shuffled as he leaned over to the drawer in my bedside table.

Deep within my heart was thundering violently, half in nervousness and half in excitement. It was all so new to me, and of course I wanted nothing more than to experience this with Gary.

"Gary, what are you doing?" I asked curiously, watching as he retrieved some sort of bottle, it looked like it contained lotion or something.

His eyes darted across to me as a faint blush smeared his face.

"I'm using this so you won't be in as much pain. I've heard that doing it with a boy is different than with a girl so you have to use stuff like this," He answered, holding the bottle up to me.

I just nodded, absolutely clueless.

It wasn't like I researched how to have sex with men in my spare time, so it just seemed like going with the flow was the best choice.

Shuffling my body I kicked off my boxers that were around my ankles so now I was fully exposed, and surprisingly I felt okay with it. I knew he wouldn't judge how not perfect I was, or if my erection was smaller than his.

None of that mattered.

Gary moved back into the leaning position over me, holding the bottle nervously.

My eyes watched his actions with bated breath as he started to squeeze out the substance. I had never seen this stuff before so I had no idea how it would be used, I just prayed that he did.

Resting my head back on the pillow I tried to steady my breathing.

Perhaps if I did not think about it, or even watch what he was doing I could relax my body and not be so tense, after all, I didn't like the thought of being in pain.

"Ash, can you kind of move your legs apart for me?" Gary asked, his voice small and innocent sounding as he put the bottle down on the bed.

I complied without saying a word and just continued to breath at regular intervals. My eyes scanned the ceiling, just waiting for this apparently foreign feeling to consume me.

My body immediately tensed when I felt Gary press one of his, now moist, fingers against my entrance.

It felt so incredibly weird that I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted this. One of my hands gripped his arm as my eyes locked into his.

"If you want to stop then just say the word," He informed and I nodded.

I just needed to relax like he told me and just not think about it. Of course that was very difficult.

Closing my eyes I felt him slowly push the digit inside me, invading my body like it was some sort of virus. I cringed, feeling how slightly uncomfortable it was.

It did not hurt as such, it was just kind of odd.

As I opened my eyes Gary was leaning over me smiling, looking into my eyes to see if I was okay.

He would definitely know if I wasn't.

He continued watching me as his finger started to move around inside. My body writhed a little to try and remove that subtle discomfort but it was soon disappearing. It was morphing into something that was actually pleasant, too pleasant.

Releasing his arm I wrapped my own arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he continued to ensure I was ready for the main event.

The feelings that coursed through my veins were feelings I had never felt before, and the faster he moved inside the more I could feel myself getting excited.

"Aaaahhh..." I groaned, now feeling my arousal starting to take note of this assault. I had no idea that it would actually be something I would enjoy, I had thought that doing it this way would be so painful and terrible that it would put me off sex for life.

Luckily for me Gary was gentle.

I planted delicate kisses all along his collarbone as I felt him insert another finger. The discomfort lasted for a few minutes and then the pleasure started to build.

"G-Gary..." I murmured, my fingers slowly dragging down his back, not hard enough to cause any marks or scratches but hard enough for him to moan softly at my touch.

As my eyes looked downward I noticed that he too was sporting an erection at his own actions, perhaps my groans of desire where just too much for him?

As he continued getting faster with his fingers, making my eyes half lidded with the indescribable pleasure that seared through my body, I hardly noticed when I tried wrapping my legs around him to keep him close to me.

Breathing was becoming difficult and every time I tried to he would just take it away and I would just want to melt into his embrace.

"Oh... God... aaahhh..." I moaned loudly, wanting more now.

My confidence was boosted at the fact it wasn't as bad as I expected and so I longed to experience the real event.

Gripping onto Gary tightly I nuzzled his neck as my legs started to coil around him like a Boa Constrictor.

My body was obviously relaxed enough when Gary pulled out his fingers and left me feeling kind of empty. My legs continued to hold him close, not wanting him to go anywhere.

There was a slight numbing feeling that inhabited after his fingers had gone but, it wasn't something horrible, it was just weird.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Gary asked, looking deeply into my eyes as he grabbed the bottle, squeezed once again and started to coat his arousal in this weird coloured liquid.

I smiled and nodded, wanting nothing more than this moment right now. Every beat my heart made resounded throughout my entire body, making it shudder slightly.

"Yes, I am sure,"

"But if you want to stop then tell me and I will straight away okay?"

I could not help but smile at his caring attitude towards me.

Gary was never one to really take other people's feelings into consideration, but he did with me.

Resting my head back on the pillows I adjusted slightly, ready to be completely and utterly claimed by him in every way. I wanted to be his, and his alone.

Gary put the bottle back on the bed as his hands held onto my legs, moving them up slightly, making my grip on him loosen a little.

I held onto the bed sheets tightly, not having anything else to hold onto right now.

With bated breath I waited, closing my eyes.

When I felt his erection gently press against my entrance I jolted again, not as bad as the first time but it was still an alien entity that was entering me.

Trying to regain my composure I just cleared my thoughts and just focused on the fact Gary and I were going to show each other just how much we were meant to be.

"Ah!" I cried out, when the tip of his arousal slid into me.

My muscles clenched immediately and I bit into my lip.

Okay, this was a little more difficult than when he used his fingers. I thought it would prepare me for this.

"Shhh... it's okay. I'll go real slow okay?" Gary soothed, placing one of his hands on my reddening cheeks to calm me down.

I nodded and kept my eyes closed, trying to allow my body to adjust to this invader.

He did tell me if I was tense then it would hurt, so I needed to relax.

Gripping the bed sheets he inched into me slowly, feeling every movement he made. It was as if my body was rebelling against his intrusion, but I knew that after a while everything would be okay, I had faith in him.

His hand stayed on my face, gently rubbing my cheek with his thumb as he slid his entire length inside me and just waited.

I inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to steady my nerves. The feeling of him being inside me was very strange, but not a bad strange.

As I opened my eyes and looked at Gary his face said it all to me, already he was struggling to keep composed.

"Right... tell me when you are good to go," He said, giving me a smile.

As my body started to relax and I was getting used to the feeling of him being inside me I nodded weakly.

Slowly Gary pulled out and started his journey back in again.

Closing my eyes once again I gripped the bed sheets almost making my knuckles white with the pressure. Again the discomfort was more noticeable this time than the last but, after a few moments of thrusting things started to heat up.

"Aaah..." I moaned, feeling the build up of pleasure start to consume me.

Every time he thrust back into me it was like a wave of ecstasy washing over me.

Now I allowed my legs to clamp around his body, pulling him further inside every time he pushed inside.

"Jesus Christ Ash... you're... so fucking tight!" He moaned in-between words, making me whimper a little.

I knew that, he didn't have to tell me.

His pace was still quite slow and my body, along with my needy arousal wanted more.

Pulling him closer with my legs I moaned;

"...faster..."

He complied of course without hesitation and started to quicken the pace of his thrusts, making my eyes half lidded with delirium.

"Oh... God... aaahhh..." Gary moaned as his pace quickened, his voice sounding needy and desperate. I was desperate too, in desperate need of release.

With every thrust I knew I was being pushed closer to the edge and it was amazing, Gary wasn't even touching it.

"Don't... stop... G-Gary..." I murmured, moaning loudly as wave after wave of pleasure continued to sear through me.

The pain that I once felt was now completely replaced with this absolutely heart stopping feeling and what made it even better was that it was with Gary.

"Fuck... A-Ash..." He groaned, drooping his head slightly as he continued to thrust harder into me.

I could feel my whole body becoming laced with sweat but I did not care. Every time that feeling rushed through my veins I was falling ever closer to the edge of oblivion, and falling ever more for him.

"G-Gary... I... aaahhh..." I tried but struggled to conjure the words.

I could feel my release beginning to build up, making my stomach muscles tense. It wouldn't be long now and by the trembling of Gary's body I knew he was struggling too.

I continued gripping the bed sheets tightly as my legs stayed coiled around him, pulling him in close. The faster he thrust the more he was pushing me.

"Ash.. I'm... I'm gonna..." Gary pleaded, panting heavily as both our bodies were now glazed in a layer of sweat.

Throwing my head back into the pillows every thrust into me was sending me to the edge. It would only be a few minutes, if that.

"I... I... Oh God~!" I cried out, feeling my body tense up as I knew my orgasm was fast approaching.

Trying to regain my breath deep within my feelings were a tsunami.

This moment, being with Gary and everything, I knew that right now what I felt was a lot more than just liking. It was something a lot stronger.

Gary's body trembled as his climax was vast approaching and one single thrust was enough to send my body into a spasm.

"G-Gary... I... I..." I tried, feeling the overwhelming rush flood my body as he caused me to climax

"I... I... LOVE YOU!" I cried, not really knowing what the hell I just said as I threw my head back into the pillows and gave into the wave of pleasure that erupted in me.

"Ahh... Oh God...ASH!" Gary cried, thrusting one final time before he too orgasmed loudly.

Panting heavily I loosened the grip on the sheets and loosened my grip around him with my legs. They were trembling terribly after my intense orgasm and once again I was covered in my own fluid. My stomach and a little part of the sheets were stained with the incriminating evidence, but this time I did not care.

Gary stayed inside me, his erection twitching slightly as his orgasm finally quietened down. His body melded into mine as he rested his head on my shoulder, panting like he had run a marathon.

Slowly my arms wrapped around his sweating body and just held him there.

"Fuck..." Gary groaned, trying to regain his bearings.

All I could do was smile as I held him, knowing that what we just did was something out of this world.

Then it hit me like a rock in the face.

Oh... my God. I just cried out that I loved him! Did he hear that? Oh man... why did I do that? Is it because... I do?

This mental battle in my head was soon dispersed when he gave me a soft kiss on my neck, still trying to get his breathing back to a normal rhythm.

My body was still tingling from my release, making my arousal, which was now relaxing, very sensitive to the touch.

As he slowly pulled out of me and gasped at how sensitive he was too I was suddenly feeling very lonely. When Gary was inside me it felt like we were finally whole, like he was a part of me.

Now we were apart that feeling had vanished.

"Did I hurt you?" Gary asked quietly, still resting his head on my shoulder.

"No, not at all," I comforted, still holding him against me as I sighed.

A part of me wanted to do it again sometime, after all, he had just taken away my virginity. That moment was so precious to me, and something that I wouldn't ever forget.

Once Gary had finally recovered he moved off my body and lay beside me, pulling the covers over our naked bodies to gain some warmth.

As his arms encased me and we settled down to sleep I could not help but feel restless.

Gary had not said a word about me saying I loved him, did he even hear it? Well, maybe not. He could've been so consumed by our passion that it did not register.

I sighed, snuggling into his embrace and starting to feeling a slight ache in my rear after his assault. It wasn't very painful, in fact it was more of an annoyance.

Gary had stayed quiet so I assumed that he had fallen asleep but, I could not help but feel bugged by this.

If he knows that I said that will it make things weird between us? I don't want that, but still why did I say it? Maybe... I meant it? Do I actually love Gary?


	13. There's No Me Without Us

Slumber was beginning to leave my body as the rays of sunlight shone directly on my face. Flickering my eyes open sleepily my blurred vision depicted that last night was not a dream.

Here I was, still in bed with Gary.

Smiling to myself I snuggled comfortably into the embrace of the mattress, inhaling that distinct scent, the scent of both Gary and sex that lingered in the room.

As I pulled the sheets up I saw that I was still naked and that the incriminating evidence from last night was now stuck to my stomach like glue.

I need a shower, so I better get up. Even though I kind of just want to stay here with him forever.

Sitting up and yawning loudly it was then I noticed that Gary was already awake.

Of course he would be, he wasn't a heavy sleeper after all, unlike me.

His back was to me as he was starting to dress himself.

"Morning," I uttered sleepily, continuing to smile like crazy. Gary did not even turn to look at me when he mumbled;

"Yeah, morning,"

As I shuffled my body to the edge of the bed I retrieved the boxers from yesterday and put them on.

Well, I kind of didn't want to go to the shower wearing nothing, I mean what if Mr Mime caught me? He would be totally scarred for life.

After putting them on I just looked at Gary, who had now finished putting his clothes on and was just sitting there in an awkward silence.

I wondered if he was okay, or if something was troubling him. He could always talk to me about it, I would help.

"Gary, are you okay?" I asked nervously, watching as he stared at the ceiling.

"Meh, I suppose," He returned.

"If something is bothering you then you can tell me,"

Shuffling over to the emerald eyed boy I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, which he just knocked away.

"I don't want to," Gary replied coldly.

I just knew that from his body language and his mannerisms that something was really wrong, and it was probably because of me.

Did I upset him?

Looking downwards at the bed sheets and now feeling incredibly guilty I just wanted to know what had happened. Last night was just so perfect, and now everything was just awful.

"Gary... is it about last night? Because if it is... last night was..."

"...a mistake," He interrupted me, standing up.

My eyes widened as I could feel my heart slowly beginning to hurt with every beat.

A mistake? Is that what he thought of me?

"A... mistake?" I repeated, struggling to keep my voice at a reasonable pitch without it going octaves higher.

I swallowed hard, watching as Gary refused to even look at me, and stayed standing with his back towards me.

This was unfair, last night Gary had snatched away the only shred of innocence I had left, and now he was telling me it was a mistake?

So I didn't matter to him? Was that it? Was I just some toy to play with and then when he got bored he would just throw it away?

"It shouldn't have happened, I am sorry," He mused weakly, walking over to the wall and placing both his hands against it for support.

My heart felt like it was suffocating me, making every breath that much harder.

Why did he feel this way? It wasn't like I regretted it, so why did he?

"Why Gary? Why are you saying this now?" I mumbled weakly, my eyes continuing to look downwards as my hands fidgeting furiously in my lap.

This wasn't making any sense to me.

"It was a mistake okay? Just forget it!" Gary spat, turning towards me for a moment before turning back to the safety of the wall.

I could feel tears begin to well up inside as my stomach knotted into something extremely painful. Being told that I was just a mistake and that I should forget about last night was unbearable.

I even told him that I loved him, did that even matter?

Standing up I continued to fight that overwhelming urge to break down and cry, I wasn't going to let him see me like that.

Glaring into the back of Gary I decided that now was the best time to let it all out, even if he didn't want to hear it.

"How can you say that? Did last night really mean nothing to you at all? Well, newsflash Gary, it did to me! You took that last shred of innocence I had and I willingly gave it to you, and you want to know why? Because you mean that much to me! You always have! All this time we have spent together really has shown me how sensitive and kind you really are, you were always so supportive and never wanted me to be upset. Because you behaved like that it made me really begin to like you Gary, and now I know it isn't just something as simple as liking you. I guess, what I am trying to say is that... I love you,"

There was a silence as Gary's body tensed at the final words.

Did he really not want to hear them? Was it all one sided after all?

Feeling a sadness begin to consume me I bowed my head and looked at the floor, wanting it to open up and take me away right now.

How could I have been so stupid as to think someone like Gary could harbour emotions as complicated as love?

I raised my eyes as the taller boy turned to me, his face a mixture of pain and disgust at my speech. Through gritted teeth he grunted;

"I don't have time for this,"

With those words I watched as he escaped my room.

Immediately I gave chase, walking ever quicker down the stairs following his form.

Why was it so damn hard to realise that I loved him? What the hell was the problem?

"Gary! Where are you going?" I called out, almost running after him as we got to the front door.

He paused and I watched as one of his hands balled into a fist. He trembled, probably in anger.

I just couldn't believe that after everything we had been through now he was just going to walk away from me, and leave me all alone.

I had foolishly believed he was better than this.

"I need some air," He said bitterly, his hand reaching for the door.

"WAIT!" I cried, now feeling a wet substance dribble down my cheeks.

Great, I was crying, and I swore to myself he wouldn't see it.

Desperately I latched onto one of his arms, hugging it tight to my chest as more tears consumed me. I just wanted to give up and have the Earth below me swallow me up and take me away from here. Anything was better than this heart rendering pain.

My chest felt like it was caving in and with every beat of my heart a shock wave of heartache and despair echoed through me.

"Please... don't... leave me..." I mumbled pathetically, holding onto his arm for dear life.

I didn't want him to turn his back on me, not now, not after everything we had been through.

Closing my eyes tightly I could feel a river of tears cascade down my reddened cheeks and my nose was beginning to get stuffy.

"Let go of me Ash," Gary retorted coldly, tugging his arm slightly to try to get me to release him.

There was no way I was going to allow that to happen. I refused to let go, he was the only thing in my life that was stopping me from breaking down permanently. With him in my life I had hope, even if it was just a small spark.

"Gary.. p-please... don't... d-do this... to me..." I cried, trying to hide my heartache but of course I couldn't.

My body trembled in sadness as I kept his arm in a vice grip, never wanting to let go.

Suddenly I felt that comfort being snatched away as my eyes raised to his, that beautiful soft emerald spark was now nothing more than a fading distant memory and it pained me to see. With narrowed eyes he growled;

"I WAS FUCKING STRAIGHT UNTIL I MET YOU!"

And with that said he left the house, slamming the door behind him.

I was frozen, no movement coursed through my body as I just stared at the door. My body trembled slightly as tears continued to fall from my eyes.

No, this was not happening. Gary did not just leave me, he didn't! And he will be back, right?

Slowly I sunk to my knees, my head bowed slightly as a rush of pain flooded my body.

How could Gary blame me for being Gay? Those words really hurt, and I have no idea how I am going to cope now.

Closing my eyes I placed my head in my hands and cried loudly. I did not care who heard me or if I sounded pathetic, none of it mattered.

The only thing that mattered was Gary, and now even he had decided to leave me.

Gripping my head harder I felt like my heart was being stabbed repeatedly and then slowly torn apart.

Why was he doing this to me? What had I done to deserve this?

"Mr Mime?"

I heard Mr Mime's voice not too far away, he must have obviously been doing chores in the kitchen and heard the commotion. Even though right now Pikachu would be the best offerer of comfort at this precise moment I did not care.

Breaking down right here in my living room seemed like a good idea.

As my body trembled and I continued to sob loudly I felt two thin arms wrap around me and gently rock my body as if I was a child.

"Mr Mime... Mime..."

Mr Mime was obviously here, making sure I was okay, which was kind of sweet. Obviously he had watched my Mom do this to me when I was upset before and now he had learned to do the same in her absence.

Mom... oh God I need you! Why aren't you here? You always know how to make me feel better when I feel sad... and now Mr Mime is reminding me of you, it hurts of freaking much!

Crying loudly I just allowed the Psychic type Pokemon to try to make me feel better, even though deep within my cursed heart it wouldn't even register.

Gary had really gone and he probably hated me now.

Just when I thought things were going so well I had to go and ruin it all by saying I loved him. I am such an idiot!

With the back of my hand I wiped my face, feeling how damp my cheeks were under my touch. I didn't realise that I had been crying that much.

Not even a gentle word of goodbye or anything, he was just so cold and bitter towards me.

"What did I do Mr Mime? Was it something I said?" I asked the Psychic type Pokemon, who just looked confused at my question.

Of course he had no idea, Gary was a very complicated boy who just loved screwing around with my head and heart.

I knew that now.

After a few moments I managed to stop crying and calm down slightly.

The house was so deathly silent and lonely without his presence felt. It made me feel so alone and mentally weak. He had no idea how much I relied on him to keep me strong through this tough time, knowing that my Mom was sick in hospital and still trying to make me smile, I was grateful for that.

But now, he was gone.

Will... he come back? Maybe he is just confused or... something?

Standing up shakily I decided I needed to shower, after all, it might do me some good to get rid of this grubby feeling that consumed me.

My eyes darted over to the plush Teddiursa that sat on the sofa, instantly reminding me of Gary.

The love heart in it's paws, the message written on it's form, the whole memory in general was tearing me apart. Swallowing hard I tried to ignore the pain that was building up once again and hastily walked past it, and made my journey towards the bathroom.

When I walked into the bathroom I turned on the shower and watched as the spray of water cascaded down like a waterfall onto the cold marble.

Grabbing some towels from the shelf my mind was still a complete and utter mess.

Why did he leave? Why couldn't he just talk to me, and tell me what was on his mind? All I wanted was the truth, even if it hurt me.

I placed my hand underneath the spray of the water to check the temperature. It was pleasantly warm enough so I placed the towels nearby on the radiator, slid off my boxers and stepped inside.

As the warm water trickled down my back I could almost feel it washing away my sins.

The soothing sound that echoed around the room was actually making me feel a lot better.

I deserved better than this, I didn't deserve to be played around by anyone, especially him. Even so, whenever I tried to think negatively about him I just couldn't.

He has really burrowed into my heart, huh? Still, I just wish he was here, and I wonder if he is okay? He seemed pretty pissed off when he left so I hope he hasn't done anything too stupid.

Rubbing my forehead with my hand I decided to stop dwelling on Gary and try to rationalise my thoughts again. Being in this state of mind was not healthy and with the added pressure of Mom being in hospital it would be a matter of time before my world crashed down completely.

Once my body was completely soaked with water I grabbed a bottle of shampoo, which was conveniently situated not too far away, and squeezed an average sized amount into my hands.

As I started to massage it into my raven hair I still could not help but feel sad. I have never felt this way in my entire life, no-one has ever impacted on me this strongly before.

Of course I am so stupid for letting him in. I should have put up more of a fight. Falling for someone like Gary was just asking for trouble, I mean he used to always give his cheerleaders the cold shoulder so why did I expect anything different?

Allowing the spray of the water to rinse away the shampoo I stood motionless, one hand placed against the wall as I tried to remove this agonising feeling in the pits of my stomach.

I need to talk to someone, anyone about this. I don't think I can cope with all this on my own. But who would I talk to? Hmmm... maybe... Misty?

As the water trickled down my back I contemplated phoning her.

She was already displeased with the fact I got into a relationship with him, so if she found out that already he was messing me around I think she would probably hit the roof.

I cracked a weak smiled, at least I knew she cared about me.

The idea didn't seem so silly now, perhaps if I spoke to her about how Gary behaved she might be able to give me some information, after all, talking to a girl about this might be better than talking to a guy. I don't think Brock would be able to help me out much here.

Sighing I just allowed the water to wash away my sins of regret.

Gary and I were not that different, yes he was a lot smarter than me and better looking, but deep inside we were similar. I knew that now, he has a sensitive side that no-one else got to see and that's what made me realise that he wasn't so horrible. He did care, in his own little way. Having that one shred of human decency in his body made me hang onto the threads of hope.

Maybe I could've been the one to save him from the dark.

Oh who I am kidding? He just walked out on me without any feelings of remorse. That kind of proves to me that he definitely doesn't need me any more. Man... I feel so used...

After my shower I got dressed, wearing a new t-shirt, which was a pale baby blue and clean jeans. All my jeans looked similar, all baggy and loose because I hated tight clothing.

I had no idea how Gary used to be able to sit comfortably in tighter jeans, it kind of made me feel confined.

Scrubbing my hair dry with a towel I decided that it would be a good idea to phone Misty. The probability of her being busy was slim, and I knew that she would be there for me no matter what the problem was. I was lucky to have a friend like that.

As I walked into the living room I noticed Mr Mime was busying himself in chores, right now he was polishing the coffee table, happily singing to himself.

It made me smile weakly.

How was it that he was so oblivious to everything? Maybe he wasn't and he was just extremely optimistic. Give me some of your optimism Mr Mime!

Sighing I placed the towel on the arm of the sofa and settled down.

The Teddiursa plush doll sat beside me, looking at me through beady eyes.

Even after everything I could not hate Gary, everything he had done for me over the past week was just amazing and I was eternally grateful for that. So what we had a spat, it doesn't mean I would turn against him. Everyone would probably want me to though for my own dignity.

Sadly my dignity did not even register when it came down to him.

Gathering my thoughts for a moment I reached over and grabbed the telephone ready to dial Misty's number. As my fingers pressed the buttons and I waited for a response I felt uneasy.

I just knew she would go ballistic and want to come over to see me, right now though I just wanted to talk and didn't fancy having visitors. It didn't take long before I heard her voice;

"Hello?"

"Hey Misty, it's me," I mumbled, trying to conjure up everything I wanted to say to her. I heard her enthusiasm on the other end of the phone.

"Ash! It's great to hear from you, is everything okay?" She enquired.

I shook my head, but then quickly realised she couldn't see my actions through a telephone.

"No... sadly I'm not," I uttered weakly, placing my free hand to my forehead, rubbing my temples. Her voice raised in pitch;

"Why? What's happened? OH MY GOD! Is it your Mom? Is she okay?"

"Yes, yes, she is fine. It's not about Mom," I issued calmly, trying to settle down the overreacting red head.

Well of course everyone would assume it would be about Mom, after all, she was fighting for her life in hospital.

"What is it then?"

I sighed, removing my hand from my forehead.

"It's about Gary..."

I cringed, already feeling her rage through the receiver. If I didn't know better she had already made up her mind about the situation.

"He's hurt you hasn't he?" She said, her voice sounding very foreboding and again I cringed.

I didn't want World War Three to commence, I just wanted advice, but Misty was a fiery person and it didn't take a lot to wind her up.

"Well... the thing is," I tried, feeling guilty about confessing my relationship to the girl who still had deep feelings for me, but what else could I do? Trying to steady my nerves I carried on;

"Gary and I... well... last night... we had... ummm..." I kicked myself, not thinking of the right words to say.

"...you did the deed?" Misty exclaimed over the phone.

I nodded and sighed, then decided on answering properly.

"Yes... then this morning he just tells me it was a mistake and storms out of the house, saying that he was straight until he met me,"

I swallowed hard, trying to fight off the tears that were starting to build once again. Just replaying that abhorred scene in my head was once again ripping apart my heart.

There was a pause.

"THAT BASTARD!" She cried in anger, making me wince and hold the phone at arms length;

"I SWEAR TO GOD WHEN I SEE HIM I'LL TEAR HIS BALLS OFF AND RAM THEM DOWN HIS THROAT!"

Okay, this wasn't going to plan. I do need to calm her down, after all, I don't want her to physically hurt Gary. It wasn't like I hated him.

"Misty... calm down," I pleaded knowing that it was useless and she was going to continue raging until the red mists had cleared.

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM! HE FUCKING TOTALLY RAN OUT ON YOU!" She cried and I sighed.

Of course it was all true, I had no idea how I was being so calm.

Maybe because a part of me knew that he wasn't doing this in spite and to cause me pain, maybe he was in pain himself?

"Misty... I know Gary, he wouldn't do that for no reason," I tried, feeling her anger radiate through the receiver.

"You obviously don't know him that well. Come on Ash, for Christ's sake, you have sex with him and then he ditches you? Doesn't sound like an act from a genuine person does it?"

I looked down at the floor, knowing that it all added up to that.

Was he playing me, was that it? Like it was all some sort of sick game to him, and that my feelings didn't even come into the equation?

Gritting my teeth in denial I tried to fight off the urges to shout, but instead I remained calm.

"I know... but maybe there was a reason for it,"

Misty scoffed at the other end of the phone.

"Ash... are you deluded as well as naïve? What sort of reason would be good enough to explain his actions? He just ditched you and didn't care! If you ask me you're better off without that jerk anyway,"

Even after her harsh words of criticism I could not help but weakly smile.

I knew she always despised him, not always for how he behaved towards me but because there was always that spark between us. Jealousy is a powerful motivator after all, and it was obvious that all along she had been jealous of Gary.

"But Misty..." I tried, also wanting to confess that I didn't just like him, I loved him and was IN love with him. Leaving him wasn't as easy as it looked and truth be told I didn't want to. If it was possible the idea of sorting out this mess was exactly the medicine I needed. She sighed;

"No Ash! You're being walked all over and used! I won't let some scum-bag who thinks he's Gods' gift hurt you like this!"

Her words rung in my ears.

Was it actually true? Was I allowing myself to be used and get walked all over?

Feeling a wave of sorrow wash over me I tried to remain strong, and get my point across.

"Misty... I love him."

There was an awkward silence on the other end of the phone which made me bite inside my mouth in worry.

Now I knew things were going to get worse, and her anger would probably intensify.

Surprisingly she did not rant or rave, she appeared kind of sad at my words.

"I know..."

The fact she knew I loved Gary was probably very difficult for her to understand and come to terms with, after all he did tell me she liked me a lot more than just a friend. Helping me with my relationship problems must've been hard for her.

Now I felt guilty.

"But... sooner or later you have to open your eyes and smell the coffee Ash, if you're being used then don't stand for it. If you allow yourself to be treated like that then people will keep walking all over you,"

I thought about it, once again her words had hit it on the head.

Maybe I needed to toughen up a bit, not be such a naïve person and actually stand up for myself? If I acted more like that would that mean Gary wouldn't treat me like this?

I scratched the back of my head in apprehension, trying to think if that sort of behaviour was really for me. I wasn't the sort of person to go out and hurt someone, so trying to behave more like that was going to be difficult.

"I know Misty..." I mumbled half heartedly, not actually liking the idea of becoming a mini version of Gary. I would soon become a lonely heartless jerk with no friends, and that wasn't very appealing.

"I'm... just worried about you Ash," She said softly, her voice smothered in regret.

Why was she worried? It wasn't like I was in danger or anything, but it was still a nice thought to be cared about.

Smiling I answered;

"It's okay, I know,"

"I don't trust him, and after you told me all this... well, let's just say if I ever see him again he will know about it,"

I chuckled a little, the thought of Misty pummelling him was actually kind of comical in a way and I knew Gary could take a hit or two.

Letting all the information sink I decided maybe it would be good for me if I went for a walk, I always found that it was the best remedy for anything.

"I bet, anyway thank you for being here for me, I seriously don't know what I would do without you," I complimented the red head, knowing that it would probably catch her off guard. She coughed uneasily before answering;

"Ash, you know no matter what I'll be here for you, even if you annoy the hell out of me sometimes. I'm your friend, and friends stick by each other,"

Inside I cringed at her speech.

How corny, so unlike her to make a stupid friendship speech. I would expect it from maybe Dawn or May, but not her.

Even so I smiled.

"Thanks, anyway I think I'm going to go for a walk to clear my head,"

Looking up at the clock I noticed that it was still early and not time yet for me to visit Mom so I could go for a stroll and get to the hospital as well.

"Alright, just make sure you be careful around him," She warned, making me roll my eyes.

God, she was acting like my Mom now.

It just made me miss her more, and when things were tough I couldn't rely on the one woman who had been constant in my life. I nodded at her words;

"I will, goodbye,"

"See you later Ash,"

And with that the conversation ended and I put down the receiver.

Sitting on the sofa for a moment I allowed my brain to get into the right gear before deciding my walking journey.

Eyes narrowed looking at the floor I wondered if I should go back to the hillside, the place where Gary and I first confessed that we both had feelings for each other.

Wincing I digressed, it was only going to make things worse I was sure of it, but a part of me hoped it would offer some comfort.

A noise startled me and I turned my attention to the window.

To my dismay it was raining, and heavily too. Being on the phone I hadn't been aware of it's onslaught against the window pane, and the thought of actually braving the elements was slightly foreboding.

Just get a coat and walk Ash, a little bit of water isn't going to make you melt. You're not wretched monster that is afraid of water.

Standing up I slowly walked over to the coat rack, retrieving the only coat I had.

As I hastily pulled it on my body I noticed that the weather was slightly worrying Mr Mime. He obviously got a little spooked by bad weather.

I just smiled hoping that he would cope being here for a while by himself. I didn't plan on going out for too long, just long enough to think about things. Gary and I being the main subject.

Sighing a little I grabbed my keys which I threw down last night and opened the door. The rain was hammering downwards and I just knew that I was going to get absolutely soaked.

As I stepped out into Mother Nature's wrath I contemplated my next move.

I will go back to the hillside, it will give me time to think along the way. Still, I wonder what Gary is doing and if he is okay.? Even though he treated me like shit earlier I can't help but care about him. There must be something troubling him, he wouldn't act like this. But I do know one thing, that there is no me without us.


	14. The Reason Is You

Gary's POV

Fuck my fucking life! Yeah, go me, ass-hole Gary, always loving hurting the people you love most. Well done there! For Fuck's sake!

In anger my foot collided with a nearby trash can, sending it tumbling away out of my sight. I shouldn't really aim my anger at inanimate objects, but rather at my own stupidity.

Did I even have a good enough reason to why I just totally broke Ash's heart?

No, that was the answer.

Was I scared of admitting to myself that I actually loved him back?

No, that wasn't it.

It was something a lot more than that and it had burrowed deep into the abyss of my mind.

Sighing I stomped away from his house and onwards to an unknown destination. The rain was hammering downwards heavily now from the heavens onto me, soaking me to the skin, but right now I did not care about the weather or where I was going. I just needed to get away and forget about the fact that I had just so willingly ripped the boy who I cared about most to pieces.

I watched him break with my own eyes.

Fucking idiot! WHY?! Why did I do that?! Urghhh... man, I totally messed everything up.

Biting the inside of my mouth in annoyance I tried to think up of why I freaked out when I woke up.

It wasn't the fact that Ash and I had sex, no, in fact I enjoyed it. It was the realisation that my own stupid fake façade was crumbling down and I didn't want anyone else to see this side of me.

What the hell would my family say if they found out I was gay and had shacked up with a man? I would be the biggest disappointment in their eyes.

Balling my hands into fists I continued walking down the road, not really caring where I ended up. Hell, if heaven struck me down with a lightning bolt I probably wouldn't mind, not as if I didn't deserve it.

Ash probably would never want to see me again anyway, so I completely ruined the chances of any relationship now. I hurt him real bad, and I even said it was all a mistake.

What the hell is wrong with me?! Why did I even say that?!

I never believed I would be capable of hurting someone that bad with a single word, I knew I could be a complete and utter jerk sometimes, but never this.

Even if Ash did forgive me, I don't think I could forgive myself. I don't even have a good reason for doing what I did, just some stupid fucking self preservation shit about my family.

Why did I even care about what they thought?!

Not being able to find enough strength to walk any more I sat down on the curb of the road, watching life miserably pass me by.

My hair was now clinging to my face and I was soaked to the bone, and even though usually I would care about this, right now I didn't.

Bowing my head I wrapped my arms around my knees and just sat there, drowning in my own sorrows, my own self inflicted misery.

God, I am such an idiot. Why didn't I just swallow my damn pride and tell him that I loved him too. No, that was obviously too much for me to handle.

"Are you okay?"

I heard a small curious voice enter my ears over the sound of the incessant rain.

Raising my head I looked towards the direction of the voice and saw that it was a girl.

She was like a drowned rat, hair clinging to her face and shoulders and her outfit was completely water logged. Huffing I decided not the reply, I didn't want to tell all my stupid woes and troubles to a complete stranger.

Turning my head away I tried to ignore her presence looming over me, it was like she was some sort of omen. Well, right now I did deserve it.

"You look awful," She commented making me wince.

Just who the hell was she? Why was she bothering me?

"Thank you for the compliment," I shot back sarcastically, rolling my eyes as the rain continued to soak my form.

I knew if I didn't seek shelter soon I would probably catch a cold.

Oh well, nothing I can't handle.

As I gripped my knees tighter I watched the girl sit beside me, adjusting her water logged jeans.

"Seriously though, you look like death warmed up," She said, chuckling a little.

Her melodious voice was brash and was starting to really aggravate me. All I wanted was to be on my own, to think and sort out my stupid life.

I couldn't even get that.

Glaring at what seemed to be a blonde haired girl who was near enough my age I responded;

"Don't you have something better to do than annoy random guys in the street?"

"Actually no, I don't," She mused, smiling.

Grunting to myself I turned my attention away from her and focused on the puddles in the road.

Anything was better than the interrogation act that I was freaking getting here.

"Do you live local?" She asked me, making my body tense up.

God why won't she freaking leave me alone! Is it too much to ask?!

Trying to fight the urge to mouth off at her I gritted my teeth and tried to calm myself.

"What is with all these questions, are you some kind of wannabe journalist or something?"

Glaring at the petite blonde haired girl I watched as all she did was smile at me.

It was then I realised, she reminded me of someone.

Someone else I knew who smiled like that all the time, even if I was being an arrogant prick.

That someone was Ash.

Turning away I swallowed hard, feeling so incredibly guilty about what I had done to him again. I just wanted to rewind time and stop that terrible scene from happening, but of course I couldn't.

"So, why are you out here in the rain?" The girl asked me, trying to get me to open up.

For the first time I didn't actually want to tell her to get lost or anything. I kind of liked having someone here, even if I had no idea who this person was.

A least they weren't going to judge me.

"Well, it certainly isn't because I have a rain fetish now is it?" I replied sarcastically, actually smiling after my words. She giggled in response.

"Obviously, you just seem so troubled. I couldn't help but notice how sad you were and so I had to come over to see if you was okay,"

Inside I smiled, it was actually sort of endearing that a complete stranger wanted to make sure I was alright. I hadn't had anything like that happen to me before, I just put that down to my insular behaviour.

"Thanks for worrying, but I'm okay," I lied, but it was necessary.

I didn't want anyone to know about how much of a dick I had been, and how I deserved to feel like this. It was probably nothing in comparison to how I made Ash feel.

The blonde haired girl frowned at my words;

"You don't seem fine,"

"It's nothing I can't handle," I replied, noticing that the rain wasn't showing any signs of stopping soon and both of us were totally drenched to the skin, I was even positive that my shoes were letting water in.

Great, I hate wet socks.

"You know sometimes its good to just let it all out in the open, you might feel better," She mused, looking up at the heavens that were pouring this unstoppable waterfall on us.

I sighed.

Yeah I knew that, I just felt like this wouldn't be resolved through speaking about it. I needed to sort it out on my own.

"Yeah I know that, I just don't think talking about it will do me any favours,"

"Try me," She pursued, her azure eyes burning into my soaked figure.

I sighed again, not actually having the heart to have a go at her for meddling in my affairs any more. I didn't have the energy.

"I'm just... worried about stuff," I answered awkwardly, trying to word my words carefully as to not let on too much about the real deal. She furrowed her brow in thought.

"What stuff?"

"Stuff about my family, like what they will think of me,"

I hated feeling like this, usually I didn't care about stuff so trivial as this, but still it was my Gramp's.

The last thing I wanted was for him to be disappointed in me, and I also lied to him about who I was staying with.

For Christ's sake, I said I was staying with a girl!

"What do you mean?" She continued.

"I don't want them to be disappointed in me," I said, feeling so downright pathetic right now.

I knew that this was the main hurdle for me, accepting that I had deep feelings for Ash wasn't the issue, it was trying to confess my sordid sexual orientation to my family.

"Why would you think that?" She asked, her eyes wide in astonishment.

I sighed again, rubbing my forehead with my hand in annoyance. I wasn't so much annoyed at her, just annoyed at the conversation in general.

"Because...I..." I struggled, trying to find the right words to say without sounding like some stupid loser.

"Yes?"

"I...love someone who they wouldn't approve of," I answered.

Even though I was slightly unsure of whether they would approve or not it was the fear of them being disgusted or hating me for being this way.

Loving Ash wasn't something I could control, hell, I did not expect it to escalate to this level.

"But, if your family loves you then they should understand eventually," The girl answered, giving me one of those smiles that Ash always wore on his face.

The sort of smile that would literally make butter melt.

Yeah, my family did love me, but it still did not stop me from worrying about the consequences to confessing about my sexual preferences.

"It's not that simple," I returned defiantly, watching as the girl just stared at me.

The funny thing was I didn't even know her name.

"I lied to them about who I was staying with, if they find out then they won't be happy with me and will be disappointed,"

God I felt like such an idiot right now.

Saying all my problems out loud was actually starting to build connections in my mind.

Why was I so worried about other people's opinions?

"You just need to talk to them and explain why you lied. I am sure they would understand, most people who love you do." She replied and it actually made me think.

Perhaps if I saw Gramp's and explained everything I might feel better and be able to try to regain some sort of relationship with Ash? That was if he didn't totally hate my guts.

Standing up I decided deep within that was what I needed to do, I needed to see Gramp's and sort this out. It would only keep praying on my mind until I did something about it anyway, so no time like the present.

Turning to the blonde haired girl I forced a smile;

"Yeah you're right, I think I'll do that actually,"

She smiled and stood up also, both of us being completely drowned by this incessant rain. By the time I would get home I would definitely need to change my clothes, these would not be suitable right now.

"Well, good luck with that," The girl issued kindly, bowing her head.

I stood stationary for a moment as I watched her slowly walk away down the street.

Raising an eyebrow I tried to figure out what the hell just happened.

Some random person comes over and amazingly manages to make me see sense, wow that is a first. I didn't even catch her name.

Shoving my hands in my pockets I walked briskly down the street towards the laboratory. I kind of didn't want to stay out in this abomination for much longer, I could hardly feel my legs due to the dampness.

So I'll talk to Gramp's and get it all out in the open. I'll probably feel better afterwards too, at least then I will definitely know if he is disappointed or not.

The rain continued to hammer down as the laboratory came into view.

It's large white form stood out from the dismal and dreary surroundings.

Sighing a little I walked faster, wanting to get this all over and done with. The sooner I sorted this out the sooner I could attempt to piece back my relationship with Ash, that was if he didn't hate me already.

This is Ash we are talking about, I don't even think he has that emotion in his body to start with.

Walking towards the front door a slight feeling of nervousness consumed me, making me think twice about what I was doing.

What would I do if Gramp's was disgusted and turned his back on me?

I hadn't thought about that part.

Gritting my teeth I cursed myself for being so pathetic and walked up to the door.

Tapping the door with my knuckles I waited for a response. I knew it usually took a while before it would open because Gramp's was forever busy doing something or other.

I didn't expect it to open straight away.

But it did!

"Good grief Gary! What are you doing out in the rain?! Quick, come inside!" Gramp's voice entered my ears as I saw his figure at the door.

I accepted his offer graciously, longing to feel warmth instead of constant dampness.

As I walked inside I could hear the squelching of my shoes where the water had gotten inside.

Hastily I took them off only to see that my socks were soaked too. Sighing a little I prayed I had some clean ones upstairs.

"And what pleasure do I owe this visit?" Gramp's beamed happily, sitting down in his armchair, taking a sip from a nearby coffee cup.

Combing my fingers through my now flattened and very wet hair I replied;

"I came to talk to you about something,"

"I see, then please sit down," He offered, gesturing with his hand for me to sit down.

I kind of felt guilty though, I was completely soaked and if I did sit down I would probably get the furniture wet too.

"Can I go and change into some dry clothes?" I asked, pointing with my thumb towards the direction of my nodded and quickly I retreated to my room.

There had to be something clean and dry in there, even though I packed most of the fresh laundry and it was all at Ash's house. Feeling my clothes clinging to every inch of my body I shuddered in disgust.

It was a horrible feeling, and I wanted out of them right now!

When I swung the door open I immediately got to work with searching for something clean and dry to wear.

Anything was better than these water logged clothes, and then once I get changed I can finally sort out my head and talk to Gramp's properly about my problems. He seems cheerful so maybe it won't be so bad.

Rummaging through my bedside drawers I retrieved a fresh pair of socks and boxers.

Placing them on my bed I tried to locate some jeans and a t-shirt of some kind.

I didn't fancy wearing a shirt, not in this weather and besides it would only make it go see-through.

As I walked over to the wardrobe I passed a nearby mirror and scowled at my appearance

God... my hair, I probably need to sort it out too. It's a total mess. Stupid friggin' rain!

Combing my fingers through it's flattened form I sighed.

I would sort it out, but not before I got something dry to wear.

Opening the wardrobe to my surprise I found my old purple t-shirt hanging up on a hanger along with some old dark blue jeans from ages ago. These would do, anything would be better than sitting around in drenched clothes. It was starting to make my skin feel all weird.

Grabbing the two garments I threw them on my bed. At least now I could change and finally get started on the agonising conversation about my sexual orientation.

After about ten minutes of grooming and ensuring I looked my best, naturally, I casually made my way back down the stairs towards the living room.

At least my hair was now back to it's wild shape and I didn't feel soaked to the bone.

Stepping into the living room I saw that Gramp's had not moved from his seat. He was reading some newspaper and the front page spoke of a rare Pokemon that had been found in Sinnoh.

Of course this grasped my attention, but it soon wilted away when I heard his voice;

"How is the Eevee?"

Shuffling around all the odd bits and bobs that were scattered around the room I finally settled into another seat just opposite.

"She is fine, she seems to be really playful,"

Gramp's pulled the newspaper down and laid it flat on his lap as he smiled at me.

Seemed like he too was thinking about the cute bundle of fluff. At least she was safe in the hospital with Pikachu.

"So... how are things? Are you still staying with that girl?"

My eyes widened as I could feel his eyes burning into me.

This wasn't good, already I was being pushed into confessing that it wasn't a girl, and in fact I was shacked up with Ash.

Looking away I tried to think of the right words to say;

"Yeah... everything is good. Gramp's the thing is... I'm..."

"You will have to introduce me to her sometime, it's nice to know that you have finally taken an interest in someone," He interrupted me, taking another sip from his cup.

Gritting my teeth I could feel this situation getting worse and worse.

Yes, I had taken an interest in someone but it wasn't a girl. Why did I have this feeling that telling him wouldn't go as smooth as I had planned?

"The thing is..." I tried again.

"What does she look like? Are you actually a couple?" He pursued, making all the hairs on my body stand on edge. This was not going to get any better.

Fuck sake! What am I going to do?! Do I just come straight out with it?

I remained silent, fidgeting with hands in my lap as my eyes refused to focus on his.

I already felt guilty enough about lying, but now it was getting worse.

My options were tell the truth about Ash, or cover it up with another lie and then get swallowed by all the constant lying.

I didn't fancy that option, and besides I wasn't that skilled at it.

"Gramps..." I mumbled, getting his attention.

He looked at me through kind eyes, I didn't want to burden him with the fact that I was gay and that his Grandson would never have children or anything.

"Yes?"

"I'm... not staying with a girl,"

I found it so incredibly difficult to keep still in my seat as his coughed uneasily.

"So, are you living alone?"

Closing my eyes tightly I decided that it was now or never, he needed to know, he deserved that at least.

"I'm living with... a boy,"

There was a brief silence but it was soon destroyed by the sound of sighing and the the rustling of the newspaper.

"I see, so why did you lie to me about it?"

I swallowed hard, not really liking where this conversation was headed.

Lying to Gramp's wasn't something I was particularly proud of, I wished I could've been straight from the start. Ha! Pardon about the pun.

"I... just thought you would act weird about it," I answered, receiving a chuckle from the older man.

"Gary, why would I think that? There is nothing wrong with you staying with a boy, I wouldn't assume anything,"

It was then that it clicked.

If he was so okay with me staying with Ash then would he be okay if I confessed I was gay?

Biting the inside of my lip I continued to rack my brains for anything to say.

How would I come out with it? By the way Gramp's I'm shacked up with Ash, enjoying fucking his brains out and I now know I am Gay and we are a couple? Yeah that would totally go down well...

I could feel my hands start to clam up with sweat the longer time went on.

I just prayed that deep down inside I would not end up being a disappointment to him. So what if I loved Ash, that should not even register on the scale to my Gramp's.

I was his grandson after all.

"Gramp's... the thing is..." I tried again, sighing a little.

As my eyes raised up and met his I could feel my heart begin to thunder harder in my chest. It was like I was ten years old again, being told off by him.

That feeling was something I despised the most.

"Hmm?"

"I... I think... I'm... gay,"

The atmosphere in the room suddenly got to the level of almost choking the life out of me. His eyes burned into me intensely, obviously wondering if I was joking about what I just said.

It was not a joke, I was deadly serious.

He remained silent for a while, looking away. His face was a mixture of confusion and annoyance, but nothing like disappointment.

"Gary..." He started, clearing his throat before he continued;

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

Looking downwards at the carpet beneath my feet I muttered pathetically;

"I... thought you would be disappointed in me,"

The older man placed the newspaper down flat on the coffee table as his eyes looked straight at me. Shaking his head he replied;

"Why on Earth would you think that? Gary, you are my grandson, I am not going to think any differently of you despite your sexual orientation,"

Looking up at last I saw that he was being truthful, that sincere look in his eyes said it all to me.

I was not a disappointment! He was actually okay with it, probably not entirely pleased, but it was better than being a disgrace to the family.

I could feel the corners of my mouth curve up into a small smile.

"Thanks Gramp's" I said quietly, feeling a large wave of relief wash away all my fears and worries.

Now there was an even bigger problem to contest with. Trying to win Ash back, if it was possible.

I could've blown it for all I knew, after all, I was really harsh to him.

"You don't need to thank me, all I have ever wanted for you is to be happy, regardless of whether that be with a boy or a girl," Gramp's issued kindly, giving me one of those smiles that I loved.

It just completely put my mind at ease, knowing that my sexual preferences would not affect our relationship.

"Brreeeeeoooon!" Came a familiar call which alerted my attention towards the back door.

My eyes widened and a huge smile crept across my face when I saw Umbreon come bounding indoors from outside, running straight over to me.

God, I didn't realise how much I missed him until now.

"Hey there buddy," I called out to him, watching as the large black figure leapt at me and started licking my face repeatedly.

I didn't mind, in fact it made me so incredibly happy.

Everything was fitting into place, now all I needed was to go and see Ash and sort it all out properly.

"Seems you have been missed," Gramp's chuckled, taking a sip from his coffee.

"Yeah, too right,"

The Eeveelution nuzzled my face affectionately, finally calming down so I could just settle him on my lap. He was the greatest friend I have ever had, we had been through so much together and even after so long Umbreon was still a constant entity in my life.

"Breeeeooonnn!" Umbreon cooed happily.

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, seeing Umbreon and having this news from Gramp's was actually dragging me out from the pits of despair and giving me renewed hope to make amends to Ash.

I hoped it wasn't too late.

"I missed you too," I mumbled, gently petting the dark types head, now knowing exactly what my aim was.

To fix this terrible mess once and for all and try my best to put things right.

I shouldn't have messed up in the first place. God, I am the biggest jerk alive, yeah I know that. But everyone makes mistakes, and everyone should get a second chance. The question is though, do I actually deserve it?

After spending another half an hour with Umbreon and Gramp's enjoying aimless chit chat and friendly banter about our memories and past experiences I decided that now was the best time to leave.

The rain was still hammering down outside but it would not deter me from speaking to Ash about my actions. I would get soaked al over again and not care, as long as we could sort this out then it would all be worth it.

"Hey Gramp's, you got an umbrella I could borrow?" I asked, actually thinking twice about getting drenched again.

I didn't want to get a cold after all.

"Of course, there is one by the door,"

I smiled, watching as Umbreon leapt off my lap as I stood up. His large red eyes gazed at me longingly, not wanting me to leave. Turning to my best friend I issued quietly;

"I'll come back soon, I promise. Look after Gramp's while I'm gone okay?"

Raising his head into the air the dark type called out;

"Brreeeeooon!" As if to say 'Of course I will'.

I smiled as I turned back to the older man, who was still sitting in his armchair, very content.

"Right, I better get going before this rain gets any worse," I said quietly, heading towards the door. Gramp's nodded and continued smiling at me, it was like he was actually proud of me.

"Alright, take care and remember you are welcome back here any time,"

Feeling my lips curve up into a smile I nodded.

It was nice to know that he was still there for me, even if I whined about him sometimes he was still family and he didn't turn his back on me.

That was the main thing.

Grabbing the umbrella and putting my shoes on, which were now dry, I opened the front door.

The rain was literally bouncing up off the pavement and the sky was pitch black. Anyone would've thought it was night time or something, and it wasn't. It was only 1:00pm.

Sighing I opened the umbrella, feeling the rain already start to lash down on it's form and with that I headed out of the laboratory.

As I walked, rather quickly I might add, down the street towards Ash's house my mind was just a cocktail of emotions and thoughts.

What if Ash wouldn't let me in and leave me outside in this rain? Okay, he isn't that mean, hell he isn't mean at all! That is something an ass-hole like me would do, not him.

Even if he hated me the chances of him showing it were slim.

Gripping the umbrella tightly I could feel the wind start to whip up and intensify, causing it to sway and bend in Mother Nature's wrath.

Oh well, if this umbrella does break then I would only get soaked again, no big deal.

The sky was so dark it was unbelievable and trying to see through this abomination was actually kind of difficult.

Why is the weather so bad? It is summer for crying out loud! It should be hot and humid, not friggin' raining all the damn time!

Biting the inside of my lip I found myself getting closer and closer to his house.

Maybe I should have walked slower or something, then it would've given me some time to think about what I would say.

I had no idea.

Maybe an apology would be a good start, then an explanation to why I am such a stupid idiot.

The rain continued to lash down, really tearing into the flimsy umbrella, but luckily for me it still stood tall. For how much longer I had no idea.

At least I have an umbrella this time, the idea of getting completely soaked again isn't very appealing after all and it took me friggin' ages to do my hair again. No way am I going to go through that hassle twice in one day!

Then there it stood, Ash's house.

The one place that right now I was dreading to see or enter.

Taking a deep breath I tried to steady my nerves.

Why I was so nervous I have no idea, it's kind of unusual for me to feel nervous about anything. I usually don't give a shit, but Ash is a different story. I can't help but care about him, something about him has really burrowed underneath my skin and I can't get it out.

Before I knew it I was standing at the door, my hand levitating in front of the door, ready to knock.

What if he didn't answer? He might just ignore me and hope I go away or something. Or, what if he doesn't even want to listen to what I have to say?

Gritting my teeth I cursed.

Get a grip!

Rattling my knuckles on the door loudly I waited for an answer.

But there wasn't one.

Suddenly I was feeling impatient.

Was he even home?

I tried again, knocking louder this time, looking for any signs of life inside the house.

Still nothing.

Sighing a little I contemplated my next move.

Well, for a start I had no idea if he was even home, or if he had gone out somewhere.

Looking around aimlessly I tried to figure out what to do next. The possibilities were endless, he could be in there just ignoring me, making me feel like an idiot, or he could be out.

But where?

Searching through my brains I tried to think of the places where to look.

The hospital? Yes, that was one place, but where else?

Well one place to search was better than nothing so I took one last look at the very solemn looking house before making my way down to the hospital, hoping that I would find him there.

It was worth a shot.

If he wasn't there then I would have to rethink of other places to search and if that ended in failure then I should probably give up. If Ash didn't want to be found then that was that, I couldn't do anything about it.

An hour passed and I reached the hospital.

As entered the large white building I saw the usual people running around like headless chickens. The nurses and hospital staff, with various papers and notes for all the patients who were stuck in this God forsaken place.

I even saw the Doctor that had been tending to Ash's Mom.

Without thinking I rushed over to him and piped him;

"Hey Doc, have you seen Ash in here?"

The authoritative man turned around and immediately smiled when he saw me. He must have recognised me.

"Ah, you're Ash's friend right?"

I nodded, just wanting to know if he was actually here or not. If he wasn't it would give me time to think of other places to frantically search.

"Sadly no, he has not been here, is he missing?" The Doctor asked, the tone of his voice expressing his anxiety.

Okay that was clear then, Ash was not here.

"No, it's okay. Thanks anyway" I said quickly, immediately heading out of the building to continue my search.

For Fuck's sake! Where the hell could he be? There are only so many places to look, and I haven't been gone long enough for him to get too far. God... I feel like such a friggin' idiot!

As I left the hospital and opened the umbrella again I sighed.

All this thinking was messing up what I was going to say to him when, or if I found him.

What if this was all on purpose and he actually did not want me to find him? Maybe something had happened?

Furrowing my brow in annoyance I decided to keep going, I had to.

I needed to see him, to make it all up some how and to find out if he was okay.

See, I do have a caring side, but don't you dare tell anyone about this!

Walking a lot slower through the open spaces where the carnival had once been I continued to think.

If I was an upset or broken hearted Ash were would I go? Well, if it was me probably far away as possible, but that's me, not him. So... maybe somewhere connected to him? To us maybe? Hmmm... where though...

As the rain continued to hammer downwards I trundled on down the street. My eyes darted up towards the black sky, and then a thought hit me like a rock in the face.

The sky... the firework display. Yes! The hillside! That was where we confessed our feelings!

A wave of hope washed over me as I quickened the pace towards the hillside.

That was a good possibility, it was secluded, quiet and a good place to think.

I should know about that, I used to go there to think all the time if I was feeling troubled or anxious. Ash might be there, if he wasn't then panic mode could start to settle in, but not until I had looked there.

After almost running towards the hillside it finally came into view.

In these terrible conditions it did not look as appealing as it did when we watched the fireworks.

I sighed as I walked up the hillside, trying to keep this stupid umbrella stable in the wind.

I swear it was determined to break or something just so the rain could ruin my hair, again! Not happening Mother Nature!

The ground underneath my feet squelched in pain as I walked up the hillside, my eyes scanning the surroundings for any sign of life.

And it was then I saw it, a figure bent over hugging it's knees as the rain lashed down.

Was that Ash? I couldn't really tell with these conditions, I had to get closer.

In an almost stealth mode approach I neared the hunched figure now noticing the mass of black, and also very wet hair.

It had to be him, that just had to be Ash, and from his body language he looked kind of upset.

"Ash?" I called out, hoping to get some sort of reaction from him.

I received nothing.

The figure remained still, hunched over, completely soaked to the bone just like I was a few hours previous.

Maybe he had not heard me or something?

"Ash!" I called louder, now vast approaching his small diminutive figure.

I watched as emotionless glassy eyes turned towards me.

He knew it was me, I could tell by his expression, but instead of shouting or screaming at me telling me I was a stupid fucking prick he just turned around and pretended he didn't see anything.

My heart started to sink.

Man I didn't realise how much being purposely ignored hurt.

Nearing him I knelt down on the wet grass, cursing at the fact I would probably get grass stains on my jeans.

"Ash... don't ignore me... please" I tried, bowing my head slightly when he would not even look at me when he spoke. I did notice however his tone of voice was slightly different than usual.

"If you... you.. have come to... to gloat... for...get it,"

Gritting my teeth I steadied my nerves, trying to figure out just what to say to make it up to him.

Would that even be possible?

"I haven't come to gloat... Ash... I am so sorry for what I said..."

I watched as he turned to face me, his eyes looked hazy and his expression sort of child like. His balance was also a bit off too.

"Ha! You're... you're... sorry? Well, that...that makes it all so... so much... bet... better riiiight?"

It was now I started to notice his speaking was incredibly slurred and also drawn out, like he had to think about what he was saying and it took a while before I could actually understand his words.

It took me a while to also take note of how red his eyes were, they looked all blood shot and glassed over.

Was he even paying attention to his surroundings?.

I sniffed the air, taking in an intoxicating aroma that smelt very similar to that of alcohol. Grabbing one of his shoulders I said firmly;

"Ash, have you been drinking?"

He just smirked at me and reeled on his heels as his arms still wrapped around his knees.

Great, he had been drinking, and was as drunk as a skunk. This was not going to be good. I just knew it. How could I explain myself to someone who had no idea what time of day it was?

"Come on... let's get you home," I tried, attempting to pull him up with one arm while the other held the umbrella. He yanked away, giving me a drunken glare.

"Get off me, I'm... I'm... fine," He slurred, rubbing his head with one hand.

I wasn't having any of this, being in this state was making him vulnerable and I had caused it.

"Ash... you're drunk," I stated, giving him a stern glare which he just shrugged off.

"And you're... you're a fucking..." He paused, frowning a little while still reeling backwards and forwards on his heels. If he had actually sworn at me I wouldn't have minded, in fact it would of helped matters.

"Yes, I know," I completed his unfinished statement, and continued to pull him by the arm, hoping to lift him up into a standing position.

Why the hell was he so frickin' heavy when completely off his face?

"Stop touch... touching me!" He barked angrily, slithering out of my grasp and just continued to glare at me through clouded brown eyes.

Okay, this wasn't going to be an easy task at all. How was I meant to get him home without him injuring himself, making himself look like a complete and utter idiot, and also explain my actions all at the same time?

"Ash... I never meant to hurt you... I was just..." I tried, now fully sitting my body down on the wet grass.

"...Gay!" He cried out, giving my arm a slightly push in annoyance.

Again he frowned.

"You... you are so... Gay, it's fucking... un... unreal,"

Okay, now he wasn't making much sense. Yes, I knew that, he didn't have to keep telling me. But using the word Gay in this context didn't seem to add up.

I sighed heavily;

"I was worried about what my family would think of me," I completed, just watching the younger boy's actions.

It seemed he was struggling to understand what was going on around him.

Just how much alcohol had he drunk exactly?

"Y'see... this... this is all my... my fault," He slurred, swaying slightly that I naturally placed a supportive hand on his shoulder to steady his balance.

"How is this your fault?"

"Well..." His voice raised an octave as his eyes remained unfocused. "... If... I had not...said... said that I woved... you, then..."

"No Ash, this is nothing to do with that," I interrupted, holding his shoulder to stop his body from swaying like a leaf in the breeze.

He was that out of it he didn't even notice how completely soaked he was, maybe he had been drinking before he left the house?

Still, Ash being drunk?

It was hard for my brain to deal with.

"My Mom... she... she is..." He slurred again.

"She will be fine, now come on lets get you home," I tried again, pulling the smaller boy up by his arm.

This time he allowed me to with ease which caught me off guard.

His feet stumbled and I had to support his body with my own to stop him from rolling down the hillside.

Wow, his legs were just like jelly, nothing seemed to be working for him.

As I wrapped one of my arms around his waist I literally dragged him back down the hillside and made our way back to his house.

I sighed at his constant rambling, about 'how all this was Nurse Joy's fault and if Officer Jenny had stopped the Bidoof from destroying the town then his Mom would be on holiday' or something like that.

My main aim was to get him home and then when he sobered up after drinking some of my legendary black coffee perhaps I could explain myself better.

Why must you make everything so freaking difficult Ash?

I find you out here drunk and then I can't even explain to you because you're off your face. Oh well, I suppose it gives me more time to think of a worthy explanation that might actually help mend our relationship.

First things first I need to get you home to rest.

See, aren't I just the most caring and sensitive guy you have ever met?


	15. I'll Look After You

Gary's POV

Ever get the feeling when something totally unexpected, but is in fact totally expected is about to happen and yet you can't seem to do anything about it?

Yeah, that.

For an odd reason I just know things are going to kick off, not with Ash, he's way too off his face to even talk properly. No, something a bit more dangerous. Like I am expecting something.

My arms were starting to ache as I literally carried Ash home, his legs were dragging on the floor as the rain continued to hammer down onto us. It was very difficult to balance holding him and the umbrella stable all at the same time.

Okay, it wasn't difficult it was annoying, along with his constant slurring.

"And... then I said... wha-what's the... name of this... this act. And... she.. she said... the... Aris... Aristocrats!" He burst out laughing at his own stupidity, almost pulling me over from his weight.

God, he was so freaking heavy when his body would not co-operate.

For about ten minutes all I had heard were these stupid aimless jokes about God knows what.

Was I meant to know any of this?

"Yes... that's great," I said sighing heavily.

It was bad enough trying to stop myself from being off balance, let alone Ash. His body was almost completely flaccid and unable to function properly.

What the hell had he drunk? Battery acid?

"Gaaaaarrrryyyyy~"

I cringed as he literally sang my name loudly in the street, his eyes all hazed over as his arms swung around like propellers. Holding him tightly so he wouldn't fall I hesitated in answering him.

"Yes?"

"Guess... guess what?"

I could feel another sigh beginning to form in my throat but it soon fizzled away when large clouded brown eyes stared into my own.

God, he had that appearance that a puppy has when it wants a treat or something. You just can't seem to resist that look and end up giving in.

"What?"

"... I farted..."

Snickering loudly I could not help but sigh. I felt like I was caring for a disabled person right now, but even so it was still sort of cute seeing Ash so completely out of it. I was surprised he even knew my name.

"Thanks for that bit of information," I replied, the sarcasm lacing the tone of my voice.

Ash just giggled childishly as I dragged him home.

It wasn't long now, and then I could settle him on the sofa with a warm mug of my special black coffee. Hopefully that would do the trick and sober him up a little. Dealing with an intoxicated Ash was actually more difficult than I ever thought.

Even so, my gut feeling told me to expect something. Something I wouldn't like, and usually my gut was right.

It took longer than I ever thought to actually arrive back at Ash's place.

He had escaped my grip a few times and ended up sitting in the middle of the road, making funny noises with his lips and then laughing childishly. It had taken all my strength to get him up and walking again.

Man... I deserved an award for this, maybe a knighthood or something.

"Th... there!" He called out, pointing across the road, eyes wide in astonishment as we walked up to the front gate. My eyes looked over to the spot he had pointed to only to see there was nothing there.

"What?" I asked, my voice sounding a lot colder than I wanted, but he was oblivious. I think that the world could implode on itself and he would still be blissfully content.

"Don't... you... you... see it?" He whined, turning to me then back to the empty space that had caught his interest.

Sighing for what seemed like the hundredth time I grabbed the front door keys from his jeans pocket, which was kind of difficult given the position I was in. Ash giggled at my touch, swaying violently.

"Hahahaha... that... that... tickles!" He cried, his voice way too loud for my ears.

Cringing I just accepted it and continued to keep him steady against me as I dragged him towards the front door. Having both my hands full, one with Ash and the other with an umbrella opening the door would mean letting go of him.

I knew if I did he would end up on the floor again. But what options did I have?

As I momentarily let go of the wavering boy to unlock the door I was right. It didn't take long before his body slumped to the ground, giggling to himself while the rain started to soak him once again.

Rolling my eyes I unlocked the door and then shoved the keys in my jeans pocket. I outstretched a hand to him.

"Come on Ash, get up,"

He pouted and attempted to fold his arms.

"Whyyy?" He whined again, his eyes not really focusing on anything. It was almost like he could see right through me.

Gritting my teeth I grabbed him by the arm and yanked him up into a standing position.

"Because you can't stay out here, you'll catch a cold!" I said severely, feeling like I was his Mother or something.

His face turned into a frown as he leaned against me for support.

"What... what's a... cold?"

"Forget it," I replied coldly, pushing the front door open and dragging us both inside.

Okay, obstacle one was taken care of. I managed to get him safely home.

Next obstacle was making sure he didn't hurt himself while I made the coffee and got things sorted for him.

If I just sat him down on the sofa what could he do to injure himself?

I flicked the light switch on and the room became illuminated. Even though it wasn't that late it was still really dark.

Well, the weather didn't really help out much, it made it look like it was the middle of winter or something.

"Gaaarrrryyyy~!" Ash called out loudly from beside me, gently tugging on my t-shirt.

"What?"

His face screwed up into a look of confusion and pain.

"I... need... need... to... pee,"

Oh great! Now I would have to take him to the toilet as well? This was not in my contract!

I sighed under my breath, but I couldn't risk him going up the stairs by himself and then ending up injured somehow, so I decided to accompany him.

"Okay then, I'll take you," I murmured, feeling even more like a carer now.

Ash shook his head wildly, his hair splashing me with water with every turn as he continued to lean against me.

"Noooooo... I'll... be... fine!"

"Ash, you can't even walk! How will you manage to get up the stairs?" I said crossly to him.

His face seemed confused, like he did not understand me, well in this state it was understandable. Getting this much sense out of him was a bonus right now.

He nodded weakly, obviously letting me take him to the bathroom.

Yes, the thought was incredibly strange, but I needed to make sure he would be okay. I wasn't that much of a prick, give me some credit here!

I made my way towards the stairs, Ash in tow.

It made the whole activity that much harder, especially when you have to stop yourself from falling down the stairs too. I couldn't really hold him any tighter than I was, otherwise I would've crushed him.

Why wouldn't his jellylike legs frickin' work?

Sighing I continued dragging his flaccid body up each step, watching as he giggled all the way. I didn't even know what was funny, but then again I wasn't the one who was hammered.

Suddenly without warning his leg slipped and his knee came into contact with one of the steps heavily, causing him to wince and cry in pain. Luckily he didn't fall.

"Ouch!" He cried, closing his eyes as his body adjusted to the fall. Pulling him upright again I looked him over. He didn't seem too badly fazed, just maybe a little shocked from the stumble.

"You okay?" I asked quietly, looking at his pain stricken face. It soon changed to a more relaxed expression as his innocent brown eyes met mine.

"Mmm yeah," He mumbled, now managing to wrap one of his arms around my waist to stop that incident from happening again.

As I dragged him up step by step a part of me felt like this was my punishment for abandoning him. If I hadn't of acted like a jerk then Ash would not be in this state in the first place.

Ultimately this was all because of me. But then again it was worth it, having Ash in this state, not actually aware of the real problems in his head was giving me time to make amends for what I did wrong, even if it was unspoken.

"Gaarrryyy, stop... it. I can... pee... okay?!" Ash wailed, not liking the fact I was stood by his side in the bathroom.

Sighing I turned away.

It wasn't like I was using this as an opportunity to look at his penis or anything. I was genuinely concerned, what if he fell over and hit his head?

"Alright, alright," I said defensively, sighing under my breath.

God, he could be even more difficult when off his face. His voice got even more whiny too, but that was something I could learn to deal with.

As my eyes concentrated on the ceiling I waited for him to finish, which actually took longer than usual. I felt like I was waiting forever, but that was probably because his brain wasn't functioning properly and everything was drawn out.

When I got a rough idea that he was finished I turned around.

How he managed to pee straight was beyond me, I was expecting a mess or something. Thankfully that was not the case, no way would I clean it up if there was. Ewww no frickin' way!

"Gary..." Ash said quietly, his voice sounding small and innocent as his fingers latched onto my arm. I looked at his face, at his childlike expression.

God, why was he so damn cute like this?

"Yes?"

"I got... a …. boo... boo," He murmured, sounding like he was about to cry.

Raising an eyebrow it took a while before I understood what he said, and then I realised that he must've got hurt when he slipped on the stairs.

"Where?" I asked softly.

He frowned and tried to rub his leg.

So it was his leg, well the fall wasn't that bad so maybe it was just a scratch or a graze?

Just superficial, nothing major.

Closing the toilet seat I gently sat the brown eyed boy on it and knelt down to take a look at the injury. To my amazement he stayed still, not swaying or moving.

Rolling up his incredibly soaked jeans leg I noticed there was a small graze on his right shin. There was a spot of blood but nothing that needed to be worried about.

"It's only a small scratch, you should be okay," I comforted, watching as his face twisted into discomfort.

"It huuurrrts!" He cried again, acting even more like a child.

I sighed, continuing to scan the injury.

Seriously, it wasn't like he had broke it or anything, it was a tiny scratch and a bit of blood. It would heal up after a few days, no big deal.

"You'll be fine," I said softly, giving him a smile.

The pain was probably intensified because he was so drunk, but give it a few days and everything would be back to normal.

I grabbed a towel nearby and started to softly rub his hair dry, not liking the fact he was actually more soaked than I was a few hours previous. He needed to get dry and into some clean clothes, otherwise he might get ill.

I didn't want that playing on my already guilty conscience.

It took ages to drag him into his bedroom, Ash had been very reluctant, not really knowing why, but it was starting to annoy me.

Okay, I wouldn't shout and scream at him, he was hammered after all, but I'm not exactly known for my patience.

As I dragged him by his arm I sat him down on his bed. His face screwed up into discontentment.

"We need to get you out of these clothes," I stated, watching as he obviously was unable to aid me. I was surprised he even knew what I was talking about.

His clouded eyes momentarily focused on me for a millisecond before he weakly nodded.

Hastily I pulled his pale blue t-shirt up over his head, watching his face constantly. Right now he was completely unaware to his surroundings and was just allowing me to strip him easily.

It was a good job I found him when I did, God knows what could've happened.

I threw the wet piece of clothing into the laundry basket and started to unbutton his jeans.

It was strange, last time I did this it was for a completely different reason. This time it was out of kindness, not out of lust.

I managed to slither them down his legs, which felt cold to the touch and removed them kind of easily, much easier than I expected.

Throwing them into the laundry basket I just watched him. His eyes were roving around the room aimlessly, trying to make sense of where he was.

"Right, now stay here," I said sternly, looking at his face.

Did he even hear what I said?

"But... I don't... want... want to sleep!" Ash pleaded, his voice sounding incredibly whiny.

I sighed, sitting back beside him for a moment. If I knew he could stay here without injuring himself again then I could go and make the coffee so he could begin to sober up. First, I needed to make sure he wasn't going anywhere.

"Then don't, just stay here and don't move until I get back," I replied, giving him a stern glare.

He bowed his head slightly, sighing heavily as his whole body flopped backwards onto his bed and he lay there.

"Oooookkkaaaayyy"

Shaking my head in disbelief I stood up, watching the drunken boy just lying there stationary on the bed.

He probably had no idea what time of day it was, let alone that I was here looking after him. Knowing my luck he would wake up in the morning and want to know why I was here.

As the raven haired boy remained quiet and lay completely motionless on the bed I was starting to think that he took my words too literally. Oh well, at least my mind would be at rest.

Taking one final look at him I escaped the room and started my journey down the stairs, ready to create some of my legendary black coffee. That was the best cure for a drunk, it was tried and tested on myself many times.

As I walked down the stairs and entered the kitchen I begun my search through the cupboards for the coffee jar.

Even though I had been here so many times simple things like milk, coffee, sugar and stuff always evaded me. Last time I found it was only because it was sitting right in front of me, Ash had obviously moved it this time.

I would find it eventually though, I mean the kitchen was hardly huge.

Whilst I rummaged through the cupboards, pushing aside various tinned products my ears detected the ringing of the phone.

I shot up, actually wondering if it was my place to answer it.

What if it was for Ash? It could be important, and if I just go answering isn't it going to look suspicious?

The phone continued to ring, not showing any signs of stopping soon so I abandoned my task of finding the elusive coffee jar and went to answer the phone.

As I picked up the receiver I heard noises on the other end, like whoever it was that was calling seemed to be in a room that echoed.

"Hello?" I asked cautiously, just wondering who the hell was calling.

"Ah, good evening. Can I speak to Ash Ketchum please?"

I recognised the voice, it was the Doctor from the hospital. This obviously must be news connected to his Mom.

"I'm sorry, he's asleep right now, but can I take a message?"

Gritting my teeth I hated lying, but I wasn't going to tell the Doctor that he was as drunk as a skunk was I?

"Oh, I see. Well, when he wakes up could you tell him that his Mother has agreed for us to operate, and the operation will start tomorrow at 11:00am. He is more than welcome to visit her before the operation,"

I smiled, knowing this news would be the icing on the cake for him.

"Yeah, I will. Thanks Doc,"

"No problem,"

Soon after those words were into the open air the conversation ended, causing that annoying beeping sound to echo in my ear canal before placing the receiver down.

So, his Mom was going to have the operation, looks like things were getting brighter which was a good thing. Ash didn't need bad news about his Mom as well as everything I had done.

I walked back over towards the kitchen, ready to start round two of finding the coffee jar.

Huffing in annoyance I kept rechecking the places I had already checked, only to find that there was no coffee to be found. I knew he had milk, it was always in the fridge, and the sugar was on the top shelf of the cupboard, but no coffee.

Slapping my hand to my forehead it was then I realised.

Maybe he had run out of coffee and had forgotten to buy a new jar? Oh great, so I've been searching for ages for something that isn't even here?!

Whilst silently cursing about Ash's apparent forgetfulness it was then I heard knocking at the door. My eyes widened as my actions froze.

Who the hell could be visiting?

As far as I knew Ash hadn't invited anyone over.

But, what would happen if I answered the door and then the whole secret was out, about me staying with him?

Ah, stop being ridiculous! It's probably one of those people who sell you stuff at the door. Well, if it is I'll just tell them to piss off. I'm not in the mood to deal with that.

Somewhat reluctantly I walked towards the door, receiving that bad gut feeling again.

You know, when something bad is going to happen and yet even though it is totally unexpected it actually is expected at the same time?

Sighing I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and opened the door.

My eyes widened at the sight of the mystery stranger at the door, and sadly I didn't get enough time to think about what to say before I was being shouted at.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

An angry red head screamed out me, hands on hers hips.

Sighing to myself I was thinking of asking the same question, but I thought better.

"What's it got to do with you?" I shot back coldly, watching as Ash's old childhood companion stormed past me inside the house.

She must've walked here because she was soaked too, God this rain was a pain.

"It has everything to do with me!" She cried, pointing a finger at me that made me mentally flinch.

So, her apparent hatred for me was this something new, or what?

I walked over to the sofa, not actually wanting to start an argument when Ash was trying to rest upstairs.

"Why did you walk out on him?!" Misty demanded, following me as I sat down on the sofa, placing my head in my hands.

I was trying to fight off the urge to mouth off and be snappy, but I thought better. I wasn't going to sink down to her level.

"So... he told you then," I answered softly.

"Well of course he did! What, did you think that perhaps you had broken him that much he wouldn't speak to anyone? Was that your plan?!"

I sighed, just knowing that this was what my gut was trying to tell me to watch out for. Misty's eternal wrath. In all due respect though I did deserve it.

"No..." I mumbled, not even managing to look at the angry red head that stood right in my line of vision.

"Do you get a kick out of it? Huh? Breaking people and watching them suffer?"

I furrowed my brow in annoyance.

I wasn't that much of a prick, so why keep making it out that I was?

"Shut up Misty, you have no idea what the hell I've been through," I spat, glaring at her momentarily before turning away. She folded her arms and huffed.

"Well do tell me, I would love to hear the lame excuse you have for hurting Ash like you did,"

I bit the inside of my lip, knowing that she was in truth right.

It was lame, but what other excuse did I have?

"I was worried okay? Worried about what my family would think if they found out I was..."

"...Gay?" Misty interrupted me, her voice sounding softer than I was used to.

I nodded, not finding the energy to actually answer her. Sounded pathetic I know, but it was the truth.

"Why didn't you sit down and talk to Ash about it then? Why did you walk out on him and call him a mistake?!"

Holding my head in my hands I actually had no idea why I did that, I never meant to hurt him, or cause him so much pain and sorrow.

"I guess... I just couldn't,"

"Speaking of Ash... where is he?" Misty asked, looking around the room aimlessly for the brown eyed boy.

I didn't actually want to confess that he was in his bedroom absolutely off his face and it was all because of me.

"He is sleeping in his room,"

"I hope he is okay, you know you are so damn lucky that Ash loves you. If I was him I would've thought fuck this and walked away. Typical Ash though, so stubborn,"

I looked up at the red head, seeing how her face looked pained at what she just said, about how I was lucky Ash loved me. I knew that, Misty did after all like Ash but he wouldn't ever return her feelings and that was why she was so bitter towards me.

"Misty... I'm sorry. You have no idea how bad I feel for doing what I did. But reminding me about it isn't going to help right now. I know that I have made a terrible mistake and that I don't really deserve a second chance... "

"No you don't," She interrupted, making me roll my eyes.

"State the obvious why don't you," I returned sarcastically. She sighed and placed a hand to her forehead.

"God... why can't you two just flippin' grow up and talk to each other like mature adults? All these petty problems would be avoided if you actually did that instead of keeping it all bottled up,"

I sighed, rubbing my forehead with my hand.

I knew that, yet I just found it so incredibly difficult to talk about my emotions and what I was feeling.

Maybe that was because it was all new, having deep feelings for a boy that was.

"To be honest with you Gary I actually don't care if your hurting or upset about what you have done. The only person I care about in all this is Ash. He doesn't deserve all your shit,"

"Tell me something I don't already know," I muttered, wanting the vulgar redhead to leave.

I needed to make sure that Ash was okay and wasn't somehow endangering his life in anyway.

What if he wasn't on his bed and was hurting him self somehow? It was Ash after all so it was possible.

"But I swear to God, if you ever...and I mean EVER hurt Ash again, in any way I'll kill you, you got that?" She warned, giving me one of those glares that looks could kill.

I nodded, not having the energy to start World War Three.

"It's not something I plan on doing any time soon you know,"

"So why fucking do it in the first place?!"

I was losing patience, I knew I had messed it up I didn't need her buzzing in my ear like some angry bee.

There were so many things that even I didn't know, and one of those were why I was so cold towards him when I realised that he said that he loved me.

Was it because no-one had ever genuinely cared about me in that way before?

"You've made your God damn point okay? Now, if you don't mind I have things to do," I remarked coldly, standing up.

She stayed still, obviously not moving. Hands on her hips she glared at me through cold azure eyes.

"I don't give a fuck about what you want! And I am not going anywhere!"

I placed a hand to my forehead, trying to regain some patience from somewhere.

I didn't want to lose it, not now, and not over something like this.

"Move out of my way Misty,"

My voice was actually quiet calm given the circumstances.

"See this is the problem with people like you, you think you're so much better than everyone else you have to go around hurting them like they don't even matter. Well, newsflash Gary, I am the one person who won't be walked all over by you!"

Gritting my teeth I tried to keep as calm as possible.

Yes, she was insulting my egotistical behaviour, so what, even I knew I had attitude problems. So why was this getting to me?

"Misty... I couldn't give two shits... really,"

"Well that doesn't come as a surprise, you don't care about anything,"

Rolling my eyes I knew that her own blue orbs were burning into the core of my soul. If Ash actually seen this bickering though I don't think he would be pleased, after all, he did say to me that he wanted us to get along or at least be civil.

"Look... I know I did wrong, okay? Just let it go now," I tried, just wanting to go into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

If I had no coffee water had to be good enough. Her brow crinkled in disgust.

"Not until it actually sinks into that stupid skull of yours! You are so lucky, so damn lucky that Ash loves you, and you just seem completely unaffected by it!"

I shoved my hands in my jeans pocket as I sighed.

Just because she was head over heels for Ash, didn't mean everyone else would behave the same.

For God's sake she is a girl! Girl's react to love and stuff differently to boy's, she should have known that.

"Of course I am affected, just because I don't swoon or faint every five minutes over him doesn't mean I don't feel the same way. I'm not like you, you know," I remarked, smirking at my words.

I knew she would be angry, even more so than before but I didn't care. Glaring at me with intense hatred seen in her eyes she spat;

"I don't swoon over Ash!"

"Oh come on Misty, it's so obvious! The only person who hasn't realised how obvious it actually is, is you,"

Her face seemed to ignite into a deep shade of red but then soon started to fizzle away.

"This isn't about me!"

"Well how about we change it and make it about you, huh? I mean really, why did you come over here? Was it really to see if Ash was okay, or if I was here? Or was it the perfect opportunity to make a move on him when he is in a weak state of mind?"

Her mouth opened, trying to say anything before it closed again.

Did I just make her speechless?

"That... you got it all wrong! I would never do that to him!"

"Really? Be honest with me here, deep in the back of your mind you must've had a glimmer of hope that now I was 'supposedly' out of the picture you could make your move,"

Her eyes widened at my words as I continued smirking, knowing I had got her on the run right now, and somehow I had turned this whole argument around so now she was the bad person.

Man, I had skills.

"That thought never even crossed my mind!" She cried out, half in rage and half in sadness.

Well, I was kind of insulting her really bad here, I was comparing her to me in a way and obviously she would feel insulted. No one wants to be like me, and no one could anyway.

"Or is it just the fact you have no sex life of your own so you have to interfere in other's?"

Okay I went too far then, I could literally see the steam bellowing out of her ears.

"What the fuck Gary?! I didn't interfere! Ash asked me for help!"

"And you were only too happy to oblige, obviously because your life is so boring and uninteresting that you have to go meddling into other people's,"

Then I felt it, the hard contact against my cheek as she slapped me with full force.

My cheek burned in pain.

I knew it would only be a matter of time before she totally flipped out on me, I was waiting for that.

She growled and stormed past me heading towards the front door.

Was she leaving after all?

"I care about Ash, unlike you. I don't use him, hurt him or make him feel like shit. You do, and you always have! Even when you were kids!"

I gritted my teeth in annoyance, rubbing my cheek.

Yes, okay I was an ass hole back then, but I had my reasons! Ash just... wound me up occasionally and our personalities constantly clashed. It didn't mean I hated him, or wanted him to get upset.

"That was a long time ago,"

"Yet you still manage to do it now," She mused, her azure eyes piercing through me like a knife.

I sighed, just wanting her to leave and allow me to get Ash something to drink and make sure he was well looked after.

"I know I'm a jerk, I don't need you telling me that. Everyone makes mistakes Misty, and I know I made a really bad mistake by hurting Ash, but you learn from them."

She sighed, her face looking both annoyed and pained for some reason.

She paused at the front door, not ready to leave just yet.

"You better learn, if not then I promise I will kill you,"

I couldn't help but smirk.

Yeah, I would like to see her try.

"By the way, are you done attacking me now?" I asked, watching as her face softened a little.

Maybe she felt guilty for slapping me? No, probably not.

As she turned towards the door she mumbled under her breath which I managed to hear;

"For now..."

I stood there, still rubbing my cheek that seemed to feel like it was on fire.

It was burning! I never realised she could slap so God damn hard! Then again I hadn't been slapped very often.

I watched as the red head opened the front door and walked out back into Mother's Natures wrath and everything returned back to normal.

Sighing I tried to absorb everything that had just happened.

Misty had attacked me, ha! What a story to tell, actually, it would ruin my image if I went around telling people. I'll keep it to myself.

Swivelling around on my heels I turned back towards the kitchen so I could get a glass of water for Ash.

Water was the next best option, and besides he was probably so dehydrated he had passed out or something. I hadn't heard any movement since I had left the room so that was probably what had happened.

Feeling the burning sensation die down in my cheek I walked into the kitchen.

Grabbing a glass from the cupboard I filled it with water.

I hoped he was okay, I didn't like the idea of walking back into the room to find out he had passed out or had injured himself some how.

Misty was right though, I am so lucky.

She is obviously in love with him, yet for some odd reason he loves me. That is why she is always so pissed off at me. Then again I deserve it most of the time, I can be a hard person to understand and deal with at the best of times.

Still, I know that the feelings that I have for him are more than genuine and hopefully when he has sobered up properly we can talk and sort it all out.

Everyone deserves a second chance after all.


	16. The Edge of Heaven

God... my head... I feel like I have just done fifty rounds with Mike Tyson! Why does it hurt so much?

As my eyes flickered open to a very blurred image of my bedroom my head violently throbbed with pain. My mind was a mess, I had no idea how I ended up here or why my head felt like it was an erupting volcano right now.

Placing a hand to my forehead I still felt dizzy. The room wasn't spinning, just hazed and blurred, but I knew it was definitely my bedroom.

There was one thing I wanted to know and that was how I got here. Last thing I remembered was getting some alcohol from the off license and sitting on the hillside, drowning my sorrows about how Gary had dumped me.

How had I managed to get home in one piece?

Rubbing my forehead I gritted my teeth in pain.

Wow, I really do feel like I have just got knocked out by a World class boxer.

I blinked wildly, trying to get my eyes to focus on something, like a wall. The colours just seemed to blur into an ocean that swamped my vision, causing me to close my eyes again.

Okay... I need to try to re-trace my actions here. So... I went to the off license and bought some alcohol before heading to the hillside. I remember thinking about Gary and the reasons to why he left me, but what after that? God... why can't I remember?!

Opening my heavy lidded eyes once again I looked downwards.

It was now I noticed miraculously my clothes had also disappeared somehow. I was just laying here in nothing but black cotton boxers.

Furrowing my brow in thought I tried to come up with how I ended up in this state, and how I arrived safely home.

Had some-one found me or something?

God! What the fuck is going on?! I just wish I could think straight! Stupid headache...

The constant pounding of my head seemed to numb my brain from thinking about things. All this was too weird for me to even begin to make sense of right now. Everything was a blur, a mess and now I just needed to sleep.

Yes, sleep would be great right now.

My eyelids felt so heavy I almost believed they were made of lead.

Perhaps if I slept this off everything would become clearer in the morning? Hopefully this terrible headache would be gone and then I could finally understand what had happened.

The annoying creak of my bedroom door opening rang loudly in my ears making me cringe.

God, why was everything so loud? It just seemed like the smallest thing was intensified ten fold or something.

Squinting my pained eyes towards the door I tried to make out just who was entering. Sadly I couldn't, all I saw was a blurred figure and a splash of purple colour. The next thing that entered my ears was a voice;

"Ash?"

My eyes widened as realisation started to seep into my half sober body as I sat up.

That voice... it was Gary's! But how?! He had left me?! How was it possible he was here?

Half in confusion and half in anger I wailed;

"What the fuck are you doing here?!"

The blurred figure neared me, and as my eyes finally adjusted to the image I realised that it was Gary, and he was holding a glass of water in his hand. His face however seemed pained and guilt smothered those once perfect features.

"I'm guessing you're a little more sober now," He said softly, his voice sent a shock wave of Goosebumps across every inch of my body and I shuddered.

Even when half intoxicated he still managed to make me behave like this. With eyes half lidded in an attempt to rest them I responded;

"What... Gary... why are you here?"

He sat next to me, those beautiful emerald orbs peering right into the windows of my soul, making the pounding in my head start to fade away into nothingness. Even though his eyes were so full of purity and devotion the rest of his countenance just showed how really guilty he was.

"I found you on the hillside completely off your face, so I bought you here,"

I frowned in disgust at myself.

I wasn't that much a big drinker to start off with, and I didn't think I would get completely hammered.

Just drunk enough so I would go numb and forget everything about Gary and how fucking perfect he was to me, and how without him in my life I would not be able to cope.

"You were... looking for me?" I struggled to ask, feeling how incredibly dry and coarse my throat was. It was starting to compare to a desert that had seen no rain for months and months.

Gary noticed the hoarseness in my voice and handed me the glass of water. I accepted it graciously, longing to quench my agonising thirst as he answered me.

"Yes I was. Ash... I never meant... to say those things,"

As I gulped down the water, that felt so incredibly cold as it flooded my throat I struggled to keep focused on his face. It kept zoning in and out as the blurry images kept reappearing in my pupils.

Stupid alcohol... making me lose all sense of feeling and responsibility.

"You... didn't?" I muttered, trying to make sense of it all. He weakly nodded.

"I said all those things because I... was worried,"

"Worried? About what?" I asked, trying to begin to understand the complex teenager a little more. Even though I had been his best friend for so long there were still many mysteries surrounding the emerald eyed boy.

"About what my family would think of me," He sighed after his words.

My eyes widened at what he had just said.

Gary never came across as some-one who cared about what other people thought about him. He was far too egotistical to give a shit about that.

"I never thought you would care about stuff like that."

"Usually I don't," He confessed. "...but, when I saw Gramp's I told him I was living with a girl, and I felt so guilty about lying to him, so when it all started to settle in and I finally realised that this wasn't some crush I had.. I guess I panicked."

His eyes diverted their gaze away from me as I held the glass in my slightly trembling hands.

I had never realised that it must have been really hard for some-one like Gary, who was renowned for being such a hit with the girls, to finally admit to himself that he was gay.

"Why didn't you say anything? Or talk to me? I would've understood..."

I took another sip of water, feeling my intoxication start to slowly fizzle away as more feeling and awareness of my surroundings started to consume me. It was now I felt a slight jolt of pain in my right shin, but I ignored it for now.

Probably nothing.

"Ash... how could I have told you that? I mean look at me, I don't exactly look like the sort of person who has those sort of troubles bottled up inside. And I certainly don't act like that either. I guess... I just couldn't,"

I frowned, not liking the fact he kept this bottled up for this long.

I never wanted him to hurt like this, it felt like I was hurting too. If only he talked to me about this I could've taken away all his problems. Looking at the water in the glass I sighed.

"But Gary... what you said to me... really hurt,"

Biting the bottom of my lip I tried to suppress the urge to cry when the memories of rejection started to burn back into my brain. Memories of shattered dreams and neglect, and also the throbbing pain in my brain was not helping me right now.

"I know... and I am so sorry for that," He said in a quiet voice, his eyes looking directly at my face.

"Misty was really mad..." I mumbled, remembering the phone conversation I had with the red head.

Gary chuckled a little.

"Your telling me! She really laid into me about it all, she even slapped me. I deserved it though, I was being such a dick,"

I took another sip of water and turned to look at the emerald eyed boy.

So Misty had caught up with Gary and gave him a piece of her mind, and also her fist by the sounds of it. I must admit, the thought was kind of funny.

"Gary..." I mumbled, trying to think of what to do next.

My mind was a mess, by both Gary and the alcohol that still ravaged my brain cells.

"Yes?"

"I... don't know what to do any more," I choked out, not liking how it sounded.

His eyes widened a little before returning to their sombre appearance.

"Ash... I know that I don't deserve a second chance to put things right between us... but.. I want you to accept my apology at least,"

For Gary to say sorry was a rare occurrence, and he seemed genuinely guilty about what he had put me through. Even though a part of me just melted and wanted to forgive him another part was a little more reluctant.

I took one final gulp of the water before placing the glass on the bedside table.

"You have no idea how much I have beat myself up about this, I never wanted to hurt you like this. See, the problem isn't you. Its me, I know... and I do this every single time. Somehow I keep pushing you away and hurting you like you don't matter. But you do, you matter so freakin' much! I just get... so afraid..."

I watched the taller boy intently as he placed his head in his hands, his eyes so consumed in sadness it made me want to forgive him there and then.

"Gary..."

"I only have myself to blame for this,"

As his face continued to be swamped in anguish and sorrow I just longed to tell him it was all okay and that we could try and start again, from scratch.

After all this time being together I knew I couldn't live without Gary in my life and I didn't want anyone else. He made it possible for me to be strong with my Mom being in hospital. I had a glimmer of hope when I was with him.

"Gary... I forgiv-"

"NO! Don't say it! Don't even think it!" He cried, cutting me off in mid sentence.

The loudness of his voice caused the throbbing pain in my head to intensify again, making me wince.

"Please... just accept my apology,"

After those words left his lips we remained in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

I just wanted him to know that I had forgiven him, and even though I shouldn't, I just could not help it. I loved him, and I just wanted us to try and sort this out properly.

He was worth it in my eyes.

"Oh... and if you're wondering why you're half naked... that was my fault," Gary confessed, his lips curved up into a small smirk as my eyes widened.

"What?!"

"Well, you were soaked! You was just sitting in the rain you know. I couldn't leave you to lounge around in wet clothes. You might have caught a cold,"

The smirk vanished off his face and seriousness replaced it.

Given time to think about it that was probably the most thoughtful thing Gary had ever done. I didn't even think it was part of his persona.

I managed a small smile.

"Well... I... thanks I guess,"

"Don't mention it, besides... I didn't really mind," Gary added in, already causing me to feel that burning sensation singe my cheeks.

Okay, so the thought of Gary stripping me while completely off my face wasn't that hard to deal with. It was the curiosity of what he might have been thinking the entire time that got me interested.

The sound of the rain lashing at the windows was the only sound that echoed throughout my dimly lit bedroom. Mother Nature seemed so infuriated I half expected the glass to shatter.

Sighing I leaned against Gary's shoulder, breathing in the atmosphere of having him so close to me once again. Giving him a second chance didn't even need to be thought about, of course I would. I loved him more than anything or anyone in my entire life.

I needed him here with me, to keep me strong and to fight off the weak opposition that resided inside me.

"How are you feeling?" He said softly, slowly wrapping one of his arms around my waist.

I gave an indecisive shrug.

"I could be better,"

"Oh that reminds me," Gary piped up, making me turn my head so I could make eye contact. "...The Doc phoned earlier today about your Mom,"

Already my heart started it's long journey south, sinking deeper into the ocean of despair as subconsciously I had written off any chance of a happy ending.

"Yes?"

"He said she agreed to have the operation and you can see her tomorrow morning before hand,"

I shot up, completely shocked by his words.

So she agreed to have the operation? She was going to get better after all?

Gary smiled at my expression.

"You being serious?!"

"Of course, so it looks like she will make a full recovery after all,"

A huge smile smothered my face as the realisation started to sink in.

After the operation it wouldn't take long for Mom to get better. The Doctor did say there was a good success rate and the chance of her making a full recovery was very high.

I leaned against the emerald eyed boy again.

"That is the best news I have heard all day," I mumbled, closing my eyes as I inhaled the distinct scent that clung to Gary's purple t-shirt.

At least I could focus on things better now, my eyes now clearly depicted Gary's tall figure and the colours that shrouded my room.

I was sobering up at last, thankfully.

His arm held me close to him as I just settled into his comforting embrace.

"I promise that I will make it up to you Ash," Gary muttered quietly, gently kissing the top of my head.

My eyes widened at the contact of his lips against my head.

Make it up to me? But how? He had apologised and was genuinely sorry, wasn't that enough?

"But how? You said sorry, you don't need to do anything else," I murmured, enjoying this moment with him and how the soothing sound of the rain against the window pane was somehow making this scene perfect.

Gary moved away so that my eyes met his.

Immediately I just drowned in their purity, the beautiful intoxicating emerald colour that just made my heart melt like chocolate under a burning hot sun.

He gently placed a hand to my face, caressing my cheek softly.

"I want to," He almost whispered, continuing to just gaze into my eyes.

Surprisingly I could actually focus better now, that water had really helped me sober up.

My eyes diverted away, already feeling my face ignite with an intense fire that made my cheeks glow in a red hue.

I was positive he knew I was blushing and right now I didn't care.

His hand moved from my cheek to underneath my chin, slowly moving my head towards his own.

As I watched his eyes close I could not help but do the same, instinctively knowing what this would ultimately lead to. Without giving myself time to think I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair as the distance between our mouths got significantly smaller.

God... I really wanted to kiss him. It felt like years since I had felt how soft his lips were, how perfect they moulded against my own and how he tasted so divine.

"Ash..." Gary whispered, his breath hot on my face.

I swallowed hard, just wanting to give into him and kiss him like never before.

"Yes?"

He paused, our mouths barely inches apart, my heart thundering violently in my chest.

"I... love you," He murmured as he closed the distance immediately and locked his lips onto mine.

I inhaled sharply, not just at how soft his lips were but also at his words.

Gary just told me he loved me... and he meant it too! Oh my God...

My fingers entwined in his wild hair roughly as we kissed like it was the first time.

I could almost feel his lips trembling as they connected with mine, so nervous, so agitated. It was actually kind of cute.

His hand moved from my chin as both his arms wrapped around my waist to pull me closer. The feeling of his hands on my bare skin sent electric pulses all through my nervous system causing my body to shudder occasionally.

How he had this affect on my body from one simple touch was beyond me.

I moved my legs from the terribly awkward position they had just been in and rested both of them across his own. Parting my mouth slightly to breathe I felt Gary's tongue nervously start to flicker against my top lip, teasing me, wanting me to give into his advances.

My heart thundered harder as I felt my arousal begin to take note of this assault, and it would be so damn noticeable if I got an erection.

I was only wearing boxers.

"Ahhh~" I moaned, opening my mouth and greeting his tongue with my own.

Just like our lips, they danced together just perfectly, allowing delicious grunts and groans to escape from the emerald eyed boy's lips.

Oh shit... if this carries on... I just know what will happen.

Next thing I was aware of I was being pushed down onto my bed, being clambered over and straddled by a very flustered brunette.

Our lips parted briefly as he gazed at me, panting slightly.

A fierce blush glazed my face as I could feel myself hardening considerably at this compromising position. It was reminding me of last night.

"I want to show you how much... you mean to me, Ash," Gary soothed, gently brushing away a few odd strands of hair that had fallen across my face.

Right now my ability to speak was muted, I just couldn't seem to say anything. His eyes had entrapped me and made me so utterly useless and powerless to any of his advances.

Not that I would complain if he did.

His mouth hungrily attacked my own, causing me to whimper under his dominance.

Lips colliding in a crash of wild passion I wrapped my arms around him, holding his body stable and close to my own.

With every passing second I was getting harder and harder, and I was almost positive he could feel it rubbing against his thigh. My theory was proved right when the emerald eyed boy softly grind his hips against me, causing my arousal to rub against the fabric.

"Ahhh... G-Gary..." I whimpered, pulling away from the kiss, only to have Gary start to suckle my neck instead.

This intense wave of pleasure seared through me like a bullet and I could begin to feel my self control start to fizzle away. Closing my eyes I moaned softly, loving the feeling of him completely controlling and dominating me.

It was how I liked it after all.

"I promise... I'll never hurt you again," Gary muttered in between suckling my neck.

His voice sounded soft and seductive, immediately creating a slight ache in my groin. I longed for more attention, more friction.

His hands gently danced all across my body, caressing every inch that made me just ache for him entirely. All this teasing was not doing my arousal any good, in fact sooner or later I was positive it would rip open my boxers.

While my eyes remained closed Gary's mouth moved from my over sensitive neck and started to move downwards, creating feather like kisses all across my collarbone.

Softly thrusting my hips upwards against the emerald eyed boy I could not suppress another heated groan.

I just wanted him, I didn't care about the consequences right now. Just me and him, in my bed, doing what we do best.

My hands reached up and started to gently tug on his purple t-shirt, wanting him to be just as naked as I was. Also I rather liked perving on his lean physique. His broad tanned shoulders, his wash board abdominal muscles, and how he only had a tiny small line of hair from his navel to underneath the waistband of his boxers.

I remembered it all.

Gary moved slightly allowing me to remove his t-shirt as my eyes flickered open.

God... he looked so damn hot like this...

Once I had successfully removed the item of clothing I threw it to the floor, not really caring about anything. I just wanted him and this moment together.

Gary sat up, removing his lips away from my neck, just continuing to have his knees either side of my body.

Those emerald eyes gazed into my own and I could just feel my heart flutter like a Butterfree trapped in a cage. The feeling was a little euphoric to say the least.

"Ash..." He mumbled quietly, his hand reaching to gently caress my cheek.

I leaned into his touch, loving how soft his hands were and the warmth they emitted.

"Yes?"

His eyes looked away for a moment, as if he was trying to figure out exactly what to say to me.

Right now he could say anything and it probably wouldn't stop me from wanting him so bad. My groin was aching so whatever the situation I probably wouldn't care.

As he turned back to me he leaned in close to my face, still gently caressing my cheek, eyes now becoming half lidded with desire as he spoke softly;

"I want to make love to you..."

It took all my damn strength not just cave in and melt right there. Oh my God! It was so friggin' hot the way it sounded. Not just sex, but he genuinely wanted to make love to me? Oh God... now I'm getting even MORE aroused!

I whimpered slightly at his words, feeling a fierce blush smother my face in it's red glow.

Those alluring eyes did not divert away from me. I knew he was deadly serious and of course I was not going to say no.

Last night was something I have never experienced before and it was just amazing, more than words could express. So it was only natural I would want to do it again.

The space between our mouths closed as he gently pressed those addicting lips to mine once again.

I inhaled sharply as my eyes closed, just enjoying the sweet taste of his lips and how his body moved closer to mine.

My arms wrapped around his body, feeling the smoothness of his skin underneath my fingertips.

It was just like heaven to me, and right now this was just the edge of it.

As our lips parted Gary started to literally kiss anywhere he could find bare skin, my neck, my collarbone, my chest. It was all creating shock waves to course throughout my entire body and I could not help but moan at his actions.

Then it wasn't just kissing.

My body writhed in ecstasy as he started to flicker his tongue across the small ridges of my chest, down the centre towards my navel, slowly moving downwards.

"Ahhhh...G-Gary..." I mewled loudly, moaning at his actions.

My erection was so obvious now there was no point in denying it, Gary was turning me on beyond the point of no return.

Closing my eyes tightly I could feel every little move he made, I could feel his warm breath on my navel as his tongue continued to softly flick around the sensitive area just above the waistband of my boxers, I could feel my own cursed heartbeat thundering inside my chest, and I also hear my inner voice screaming in delight at how badly I needed this.

His hand wondered downwards and allowed his fingers to hook inside my boxers to pull them down slowly.

I bit into my lip, trying to gain some self control from somewhere.

The feeling of the material softly brushing against my needy arousal did not help matters.

Fuck... I thought what I felt last night was excruciating but this? This is like ten times worse! I just have his voice replaying in my head, about how he wants to make love to me. God... it's such a turn on.

As my boxers were pulled downwards and left to hang around my ankles I knew that my erection was now fully exposed and at Gary's mercy.

Swallowing hard I had no idea what to expect next, he wasn't very predictable, in fact the opposite but that was made things like this so exciting.

"Oh my GOD~!" I cried out, moaning loudly as I felt his tongue gently flicker across the ridge on the edge of my arousal.

The most sensitive part and he knew where it was and how to work it.

Closing my eyes tightly it took all my strength and willpower not to release right there and then. The feeling was just overwhelming, and something that was alien to me.

I gripped the bed sheets as he continued to just casually flick his tongue around the head of my arousal, not actually fully taking it into his mouth.

Right now I did not frickin' care! This was so God damn good and I just wanted to enjoy it.

It gently rubbed across the sensitive skin, continuing to dance across the ridge, making my eyes half lidded with delirium.

Holding back my moans were not successful so every time I felt his tongue assault me my moans got louder and louder.

"Ahhh~!"

My knuckles were turning white with how hard I was gripping the bedsheets.

I had to do something otherwise I would've released straight away and then we couldn't get down to the main event.

That was something I wanted to do so I had to keep everything under control as best as I could, even though it was so damn difficult.

Gary's tongue continued to tease me for a while, making it even harder for me to control myself despite the fact I was practically screaming in ecstasy.

It was as if I was on hard core drugs, making my eyes blurry with delirium and causing my body to shudder. It was just amazing.

When his tongue stopped teasing me it caused my eyes to fully open and just look at him.

His face neared mine again as that lust driven sparkle in his eyes returned again.

He wanted me, it was quite obvious and I wanted him, so bad.

"You make so much noise," He murmured, smirking a little.

I blushed, knowing that I did, but I couldn't help it.

Having someone do that to you is hardly going to make you keep quiet is it?

My heart continued to thunder violently in my chest as he just looked at me, his face dangerously close to my own. The tingling sensation wreaked havoc in the pits of my stomach after his assault, but I knew it would calm down eventually.

"I...I..." I mumbled, trying to think of something to say.

Of course I couldn't.

"You don't have to say anything," He soothed, gently placing a finger to my lips.

The breath hitched in my throat as I was completely muted from speaking.

Those eyes compelled me to do as he asked, even though I kind of wanted to explain my actions.

Without thinking I took his finger into my mouth and started to gently suckle on it, watching every expression his face made.

First it was shock, then it quickly morphed into something that looked similar to pleasure.

"A-Ash..." He murmured quietly, resting his forehead against mine as his eyes closed.

My tongue enveloped the digit slowly, coating it in my saliva as Gary's breathing started to become heavy.

I had no idea this simple gesture would actually pleasure him in anyway, it was just a reaction to his actions.

Even so, for an odd reason my own actions was causing my arousal to pulsate, wanting the emerald eyed boy in every way. Just looking at his face I could tell that he too was struggling and soon enough he would dominate me, making me utter powerless.

That was what I wanted.

Slowly Gary removed the finger from my mouth, which was now completely wet and opened his eyes slowly.

His breaths were fast and rapid as our eyes locked, pools of green meeting my own, melting into one.

As his lips slowly neared my own, causing me to move forwards I hardly noticed where his hand had wondered to until it was too late.

I jumped up in shock as he entered that digit, which had just been in my mouth, inside me.

My eyes were wide as they looked into his, he wore that mischievous smirk that I loved, the smirk which now I classed as naughty.

"Only I am allowed to be naughty," He teased, pushing the digit further inside me causing me body to writhe under his.

His knees either side of me prevented me from writhing too much but it was just enough to disperse the feeling of discomfort.

"Ahhh~" I moaned softly as his finger penetrated deeper inside me, gently caressing my inner walls that were rigid and tense around it.

It would take some getting used to it seemed.

The motions of his fingers were smooth and slow, just enough to create a bubbling sensation to boil in my stomach.

Closing my eyes I bit into my lip, trying to stop myself from moaning his name. Even though it sounded so hot to both of us right now I was still attempting to control myself.

"Want me to go faster?" Gary asked, his voice laced in pure seduction.

Feeling a fierce blush burn my face I weakly nodded, wanting to be his entirely.

His actions quickened, causing my arousal to throb angrily.

"G-Gary... ahhhh~" I moaned softly, keeping my arms wrapped around the emerald eyed boy to keep him close.

This feeling was overwhelming, like the whole room was shrouded in euphoria and I could not help but give into his advances.

"Oh... God... "

His pace quickened, now starting to relax the tense muscle inside me.

I would soon be ready, I knew that, and it was something I actually couldn't wait for.

Gary wanted to make love to me and I was not going to deny him of that right.

"Do you want me Ashy-boy?" Gary teased, thrusting his finger harder and deeper into me as he said those words.

Closing my eyes tightly I cried;

"Oh... GOD! YES!"

My breathing was a mess, it was long, heavy and drawn out, like I had been running a marathon, and my heart was beating like crazy.

I was surprised I wasn't having a heart attack or something.

My legs instinctively parted further, wanting him to claim me entirely once again. Being with Gary in this way was just so amazing I wanted to give in again and again.

As he removed the digit from my entrance I felt kind of lonely for a while.

My eyes flickered open to see that he was now removing his jeans and his boxers, his eyes watching my expression.

Panting I tried to get my breath back, knowing that in a matter of minutes Gary would be making love to me and I would not be complaining in the slightest.

As the emerald eyed boy removed the last item of clothing he returned to straddling my hips.

His erection was clearly visible and fully erect, which did not come as a surprise.

I did moan kind of loud so it was only natural.

Closing my eyes I took a deep breath, knowing that this was what I wanted, what had dreamed of.

Me and Gary, being sensual like this, all throughout the night until dawn. Yes, that was what I wanted.

"Ash..." He mumbled, as he spat on his hand and started to coat his arousal in his saliva.

Looks like this time the lube was out of the question, not to mention it kind of destroyed the moment.

"Yes?" I uttered weakly, my voice sounding pained.

His eyes focused on mine, full of sincerity and devotion, a look that seemed foreign to see in his eyes. He just never seemed the type.

"I love you..." He said softly, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on my nose.

I could not help but smile.

Hearing Gary say he loved me was something that my heart reacted to, I just loved it.

"I... love you too," I murmured, smiling.

Gary pressed his arousal against my entrance, not entering just yet, just allowing me to get a feel for what to expect once again.

I was more relaxed than the first time because I knew what it felt like and it wasn't painful as such. I knew there would be discomfort again, there always would be at first.

As I placed my hands on his hips I nodded for him to enter.

He obliged, slowly and steadily pushing the tip of his arousal inside me.

Biting my bottom lip I could feel the unpleasantness at first, but I was aware that it wouldn't last for long so I just had to grin and bear it.

The emerald eyed boy slowly slid his length inside me as my fingers gripped his hips harder.

Discomfort was a little off putting to say the least but I knew as soon as it was relaxed enough then it would be something mind blowing.

My inside muscles clenched around his arousal, causing a small whimper to escape his lips.

He paused.

"Tell me when you want me to move," He said, keeping deathly still as my body adjusted to this alien invader.

I tried to get my breathing back to a steady level as the muscles inside me started to relax slightly.

It would only be a matter of time, and then I would be ready.

Flickering my eyes open I looked directly at Gary, his face seemed concerned at my expression but once I smiled he smiled too.

"Okay... I'm okay now," I assured him.

He nodded, gently rubbing his nose across mine before deciding that now it was okay to move.

Slowly Gary pulled out all the way as my eyes closed.

As he pushed back inside a shot of pleasure seared through me suddenly, causing me to gasp.

God what the hell was that? Man... he touched something... God, it felt so damn good!

Then he pulled out again and thrust back inside, once again sending another bolt of pleasure ripping through my body.

I could feel a case of delirium washing over me as my eyes started to become heavy and lidded.

My fingers gripped his hips harder as he continued thrusting into me.

Small groans were heard from the emerald eyed boy as he continued his actions.

Soon enough my body was overpowered by pleasure I could not stop myself from crying out.

"Ahhh... Gary!"

I wanted him to thrust faster, this feeling that consumed me was just so mind blowing I wanted more. And even though we had sex last night, this was so different.

It was like it meant more, on an emotional level.

"Fuck... Ash..." Gary moaned, drooping his head a little as he continued thrusting inside me, my muscles clenching and unclenching around his arousal.

Gripping his hips roughly I started to move my own hips in time with his thrusts as I threw my head back into the soft pillows.

"G-Gary... faster..."

He complied, holding onto my body as every thrust sent a shock wave of hysteria to erupt throughout my body.

My moans were getting louder with every thrust.

He hadn't found that special place just yet that he had found when he first entered, but my body was telling me he was close.

"Ahhh... God..." Gary groaned, panting heavily as he continued thrusting faster into me, making the bed rock slowly.

It was starting to creak, I could hear it but the noise of the bed creaking was soon being drowned out by our own delicious noises.

"Oh... God... ah..."

Gripping him tighter I wanted him to go harder, so he could find that special spot hidden deep inside me and cause me to lose control completely.

I knew he was close, but right now he had failed to hit it.

"G-Gary..." I moaned, breathing heavily as a bead of sweat trickled down my forehead.

He grunted a yes as he continued pleasuring me entirely.

Pulling his body closer roughly I cried out loudly;

"Harder~!"

I heard a small whine escape the emerald boys lips as he started thrusting even harder into me, causing the bed to shake violently.

I wasn't worried about him breaking it, I was just concerned about the noise it was making.

Then again, I was being louder than the bed and Gary put together.

"Fuck..." Gary groaned, his body trembling with every thrust.

Biting into my lip, almost drawing blood it was then I felt it.

My eyes shot open as his arousal finally hit that place that I ached for, the place that sent me spiralling towards oblivion.

Gripping him harder I cried;

"OH GOD!"

I knew this would make Gary understand that he had found what he was looking for and by God he did.

Every thrust delved deeper into the place that made my body shudder in delight and I just knew that soon enough I would climax.

How could I not when this feeling was so mind blowing and unlike nothing I had ever experienced before?

"Ahh... ahhh... G-Gary... so close..." I moaned, feeing my climax vast approaching.

From the trembling of his body I knew he was going to soon as well, but how soon I was unsure of.

"A-Ash...I... uhhnnn..."

His pace quickened up, causing the bed to continue rocking violently and creating prominent loud exasperated moans to come from myself.

I couldn't help it, it was just so good.

My body trembled as my orgasm was nearing the peak, one more thrust, just one more.

"G-Gary..." I murmured weakly, feeling that one final deep thrust push me right over the edge, causing me to cry out loudly;

"Ahhhhh~! GARY!"

Wave after wave of pleasure seared through me and released all over myself and Gary.

My arousal twitched as the intense orgasm started to quieten down, continuing to pulsate as my release flowed out onto both of us.

I panted heavily, watching as Gary thrust one final time before crying out;

"Fuck... ASH!"

Trying to regain my breath back I felt his arousal twitch inside me as he released.

His breathing was just like my own, heavy and drawn out.

He rested his head on my shoulder, panting terribly as his arousal continued to pulsate and shiver inside me.

The feeling of my own liquid on myself and Gary felt a little weird, but it wasn't like it was glue. I could just go and wash it off.

The emerald eyed boy looked up at me through tired eyes, panting.

"That was... amazing," He managed, trying to get his breath back.

I nodded and slowly wrapped my arms around him, feeing his arousal still buried inside me.

Obviously it was too sensitive to come out yet, and I knew how he felt.

"It really... was"

I smiled, loving how Gary and I were just so compatible, in every way it seemed.

His body continued to tremble as he lay on top of me, head still resting on my shoulder.

My own arousal was very sensitive to the touch, after all, I just had the best orgasm of my entire life.

"Now... you know how much I love you..." He mumbled, making my smile get even bigger on my face.

I definitely knew it now, that was just out of this world, so mind blowing and nothing I had ever experienced before.

Slowly Gary removed his arousal from my entrance, causing warm liquid to escape and run down the back of my leg.

I didn't really mind though, like I said I could just wash it off.

Gary smiled;

"God... you are so.. fucking loud! It drives me crazy!"

Holding the boy against me I could not help but blush.

It wasn't like I could stop my moans, or the loudness.

It just felt so God damn amazing.

"That's your fault," I teased, inhaling the distinct scent that shrouded the room. The scent of both Gary's natural body smell and the scent of sex.

A job well done if you ask me.

Gary looked up at me through half lidded eyes, still panting a little.

"I'll take that as a compliment,"

"So you should."

I smiled, sinking into this embrace with the one person who I adored so much in this world.

Not having Gary in my life would be like trying to live without oxygen, it is just impossible. But now... it feels like he is my oxygen and without him I cannot breath, I cannot survive and I would not be able to find the strength to carry on.

Because... you are everything to me. I know you know that, and without you everything seems so wrong and out of place. When we are together it just feels like I am in heaven, but for so long I was left dangling on the edge. Not that I hated the edge of heaven, just now I know I have it all to myself.


	17. A Match Into Water

Don't you just hate it when you are perfectly comfortable and snuggled up in a nice warm bed and then your bladder tells you that it's time to get up? Yeah... I hate that. Why couldn't it just wait a few moments longer?

Somewhat reluctantly I opened my eyes, which were still groggy from being half asleep, as the realisation that I really needed to pee settled in my brain cells.

Damn it! Stupid bodily functions always getting in the way.

Rubbing my eyes sleepily I tried to look around the dark room.

Gary was still beside me, sleeping peacefully. The gentle rise and fall of his chest and the sound of his soft breathing was the only thing that made me realise that this time it was for keeps. He wasn't going to get up and tell me that I was a mistake, this time it was proper and there was no way I was going to give this up now. I cracked a weak smile as I shuffled to the edge of the bed, feeling a cold chill attack my bones.

It wouldn't matter if I popped to the bathroom naked would it? I mean what's the likeliness that Mr Mime would waltz in and see my junk? Exactly, so why not?

Getting out of the perfectly warm and comfortable bed I trudged sleepily towards the door, trying not to walk into any inanimate objects along the way. After all, I didn't want to wake Gary up through my own clumsiness.

Rubbing my head I left my bedroom and walked inside the bathroom. It was now I noticed that I really needed to freshen up. The antics from last night were kind of glued to my stomach and it didn't look very appealing, not even to my half asleep eyes.

So that was settled, after I had relieved my needs I would have a quick shower and then hopefully get back in bed before Gary woke up. Damn him and his early body clock. Then again I had no clue to what the time actually was.

After feeling the relief of emptying my needy bladder I combed my fingers through my hair.

It was all unkempt and wild looking, and I didn't even use all those hair products that Gary used to get it to look like this. Just one wild night of passionate sex was enough to make my hair look like I had been pulled through a hedge backwards.

Sighing I grabbed the baby blue towels that hung lazily on the radiator and placed them nearby before I decided to switch the shower on.

I really hoped that the noise of the shower wouldn't wake up the emerald eyed boy, after all, I did want to seize the opportunity of him being sound asleep and being powerless against me. I doubted the likeliness of that happening though, Gary would probably wake up at the drop of a hat.

Switching the shower on I tested the temperature of the water with my fingers.

Well the thought of scalding myself wasn't that appealing.

As the water started to warm up my mind lingered on thoughts of last night, and how amazing it was.

Yes, okay, my ass is feeling a little sore but it's nothing I can't handle, and it certainly doesn't put me off doing it again.

Gary and I just seemed to connect really well when we made love last night, like something electric surged through me and made me feel alive. I have never felt that way before.

I snapped out of my thoughts when the water got a little too hot for my liking and I quickly withdrew my hand.

Mixing some cold water into the hot I waited a little longer before deciding that now was the time to get freshened up before Gary woke up. A small part of me also prayed that Mr Mime would not randomly walk inside while I was in the shower, he was probably traumatized enough after last night.

I bet he heard everything... shit. Yeah, totally traumatized.

It took me approximately ten minutes to have my shower, which was a new record for me. Usually I can't be bothered to rush and so take my time, but considering I wanted to get back into bed and snuggle Gary before he woke up gave me that added boost I needed.

Rubbing my wet hair dry with one of the towels I gazed at my reflection in the mirror.

It was now I noticed that I really had matured a lot recently, and not just with how I was behaving. Even my appearance had changed slightly. I had lost that babyish appearance I used to have that made me 'cute' according to the girls.

I mean come on, calling a guy cute isn't really flattering is it?

But, now I guess I just lost some of that cuteness and I was starting to look more like a man. Of course I could never look as manly as Gary did. He looked more manly than I did even when we were kids.

He just has that look about him you know? A sophisticated appearance that makes him look older than he actually is.

He would never get mistaken for a fifteen year old on the bus and get away with paying child fare like me. Even though it riled me up at least if I needed to use the bus it would be cheaper.

Taking one final look at myself I decided to head back to the bedroom, back to the sleeping emerald eyed boy who was blissfully unaware of his surroundings.

As I entered the bedroom it was still incredibly dark and it took me awhile to figure out where it was safe to walk without stubbing my toe on the edge of the bed, or on various inanimate objects scattered around.

Smiling to myself I saw Gary's figure curled up amongst the bed sheets, his mouth slightly a jar as one of his arms was raised above his head.

How could he sleep on his back? God, if I did that I would snore for England and then I would get a nasty punch in the ribs.

Gary never snored or fidgeted, or anything actually. He was a pleasure to sleep with, in both senses of the phrase.

Walking closer I sat down gently on my side of the bed, feeling the warmth his body emitted through the bed sheets. It was a rare sight to see him asleep as usually he was awake before me.

Maybe last night really knackered him out? Then again, I am not surprised.

Settling back into the bed I felt a rush of body heat wash over me and Gary's distinctive scent tickled my nose as I inhaled.

God, I loved that smell.

Whenever I was near him it radiated off every inch of his body like expensive cologne.

Smiling to myself I breathed in the atmosphere of having the emerald eyed boy so close to me, happy that in fact just this simple moment meant so much to me. Even though he was unaware that I was awake it was nice knowing he was still here and didn't freak out this time.

Perhaps a part of me thought he would?

Turning to face the brunette I kept that smile on my face, watching the soft rise and fall of his chest, as his arm twitched involuntarily whilst in slumber land.

God... he looked so gorgeous even when asleep!

I wished I could look like that when I slept, so innocent, so beautiful. A picture of perfection.

Slowly I wrapped one of my arms around his toned stomach and snuggled up against him.

Sighing in contentment I felt him shuffle a little at the contact but it soon settled down again. As I rested my head on his chest I could hear the soft fluttering sound of his heartbeat, pulsating deep within.

The sound was so soothing it was almost sending me off to sleep again.

Not quite though.

"Mr Mime!"

I cringed, knowing immediately who was calling.

His voice was so incredibly loud for this early in the morning it made me tense up and try to ignore it. I knew I wouldn't be able to for much longer.

"Mr Mime! Mime!" Mr Mime called out.

It sounded like he was in my bedroom and with that thought in mind I sighed.

Great, just what I didn't need, a psychic Pokemon ruining my bedroom antics Then again, maybe I owed him an apology for what happened last night.

I sat up reluctantly, feeling Gary's body shuffle under the covers as I just stared at the Psychic type.

By the look on his face he did not look too thrilled, okay, I was totally screwed. He must be scarred for life now.

"Will you keep it down! Gary is sleeping!" I whispered in rage, indicating to the emerald eyed boy with my thumb.

Mr Mime folded his arms and pouted, obviously unhappy with something.

The living arrangements? Well, that was obviously going to be a problem. I doubt even I would want to hear what happened last night, and after all we were kind of loud.

"Mime... Mr Mime..." He murmured, those large eyes flickering to the carpet in annoyance.

Scratching the back of my head I thought.

It was actually very unfair that he had to hear all of our shenanigans, perhaps he would be better off staying with Professor Oak until Mom came back?

But, maybe he wouldn't take too kindly to being pushed out of his home because of two hormonal and very rampant teenagers.

"Hey... I'm sorry okay,"

I tried my utmost to make my apology sound convincing to the Psychic type.

Well, I was kind of lost in the throws of passion so it was not like I could help it.

"Mime..." He almost whimpered.

My attention was swiftly diverted to the shuffling felt beside me.

Gary was waking up, like I said, it wouldn't take a lot to drive him out of slumber land.

"Who are you... talking to?" He groaned, rubbing his eyes with his hand as his body pushed up into a sitting to face the brunette I could not help but sigh.

God, why did he look so gorgeous even when in grumpy-just-woken-up-please-don't-disturb-mode? It was just unreal.

"Mr Mime came in... he's not too pleased,"

Upon saying those words Mr Mime nodded and huffed in annoyance.

Gary frowned for a moment before blinking, finally acknowledging our little visitor.

"Why?"

I coughed uneasily and nudged him in the ribs.

I didn't want to actually say it out loud, Mr Mime was already feeling a little rough about the ordeal.

With wide eyes Gary mouthed an 'Oh' with his mouth and smirked.

Well, I don't think Mr Mime found it amusing.

"Well it's all your fault anyway," Gary commented, ruffling his wild hair with one hand as he yawned loudly.

Raising an eyebrow at the emerald eyed boy I could not believe that he just blamed me for upsetting the Psychic type.

"Hey! Don't blame me for this! If it wasn't for you then I wouldn't have made so much noise"

Again he smirked, making me cringe.

"Okay then, fair enough. Let's say we are both in the wrong and call it quits"

I nodded, actually surprised that Gary so willingly dropped the dispute. I had half convinced myself that he would keep blaming me when in actual fact he was the one ultimately to blame.

"Mr Mime!" Mr Mime bellowed, huffing once again and then turning to leave the room.

My apology must not have gone down too well then.

Gary turned to look at me and simultaneously we just shrugged.

He was such a strange little guy to figure out.

"What time is it?" He asked, trying his best to gaze at his watch, but the lightning conditions were just too poor.

I shrugged, not really caring.

I had a rough idea that it was way before 6am so it was okay to lounge around in bed for a while longer until we had to get ready to see Mom.

Oh yeah... Mom's operation is today.

Frowning I looked downwards at the bed sheets, wondering if today would be the day when she would start to get better properly.

After this she would come back home and everything would return to normal again. That was what I wanted after all, even so, I felt slightly saddened about it.

Maybe it was because when Mom got better Gary would move out again and I wouldn't see him as often as I would like?

"Are you okay?" He asked, turning his head to face me.

I glanced across at him, wondering if I should tell him my concerns about him moving out, but I pushed it to the back of my mind for now.

That was to be bought up another time.

"I'm alright," I lied.

"Oh yeah, your Mom's operation is today," Gary mused, shuffling a little to get closer to me.

I nodded.

"I know, I just hope everything goes well. I don't think I could deal with more bad news"

The brunette wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me closer so I was resting my head against his chest.

"I'm sure she will be fine. The Doctor assured us that there is high probability that she will make a full recovery"

I weakly nodded.

I was just being stupid and negative about the whole situation.

Well, my luck with hospitals so far wasn't extremely great was it? Every time I went there something new showed up to ruin my mood.

"I sure hope so,"

"You worry too much you know that?"

Sighing I leaned into his embrace, loving the feeling of his arms around me. It was actually helping me calm down and relax a little about the operation.

Of course she would make a full recovery, it's my Mom after all.

After a few hours of just lounging around in bed with the love of my life, talking about random things from the operation to the problems confessing about our sexuality, we both finally decided to get up.

I didn't want to get up, truth be told, but it was now or never. I needed to get moving otherwise I wouldn't be able to visit Mom before she went into theatre for the operation. I promised myself that I would be there for her.

Having an operation was probably scary after all.

It took me all of three minutes to figure out what to wear for the occasion.

I just just threw on my usual black t-shirt and some baggy light blue jeans, nothing too fancy.

Gary on the other hand spent absolutely ages trying to figure out what to wear.

I mean why is that? They are just clothes, nothing special, you don't have to spend thirty minutes trying on various coloured shirts and asking for an opinion on them. Well, Gary did.

Eventually he managed to decide on a light blue shirt, which was loosely buttoned up and some tight fitting dark jeans.

Of course I did not object to that.

Gary in tight clothing equals oh my God nosebleed!

Once he had finally vacated the bathroom, after being in there over forty minutes grooming and styling his hair we both managed to walk down the stairs and head towards the kitchen.

My stomach was making growling noises so breakfast was in on the cards.

Strolling into the kitchen I started opening up the cabinets in search of edible content I could use for breakfast.

We had cereal and bread for toast, but nothing substantial.

Well, it would do, and I was sure Gary wouldn't mind having toast.

As I took out two slices of bread and placed them into the toaster I watched the brunette walk into the kitchen and stand beside one of the counters.

It was still early, well incredibly early for me and surprisingly I was fully awake. Not walking around like a zombie. This was new even to me.

"Is toast okay?" I asked, turning to face him.

He nodded and gave me a small smile.

"Yeah, just don't burn it. I don't want the taste of burnt toast in my mouth,"

I rolled my eyes and continued to watch the toaster, checking it every so often to ensure it wasn't cremated.

Nobody likes cremated toast and if they do... well, they are just stupid.

"I'm not that useless you know,"

"Just making sure," He returned coyly.

I sighed.

Why did he always make me out to be an idiot? I am perfectly capable of cooking things and not setting the house on fire. Have some faith in me Gary!

The brunette casually strolled towards the fridge and opened it, quickly retrieving the butter and placing it on the counter in front of me.

Mentally I thanked him but I wasn't going to say it out loud, I mean who forgets to butter toast?

"I've been thinking..." Gary mused quietly, loudly enough for me to hear. As I checked the toast again I answered;

"Yeah, what about?"

"About Gramp's... he knows I am gay, but he doesn't know about us. Do you think we should tell him, like when the dust has settled a little?"

Turning to face Gary I saw that he was deadly serious. His face was scarred with guilt, probably because he lied to him in the first place.

"It's up to you, after all, he's your Grandpa" I answered, not wanting to get was not my place to say.

Gary sighed and nodded as I watched the toaster ping.

Slowly removing both pieces I placed them onto a plate and started to butter them.

"I know that, it's just... do you think he'll be okay with it?" Gary continued.

"Well, if he is okay with you being gay why would he have a problem? It's not like he doesn't like me is it?"

As I buttered the last piece I turned and handed the butter back to Gary. Without even telling him he placed it back into the fridge and closed the door.

"I suppose you're right, maybe I'm just over thinking about things,"

I smiled and handed the plate to the brunette.

"Since when don't you over think?" I commented, nudging his arm slightly as I lead the way back to the living room.

That was one of his traits unfortunately, he always thought too much about things, even if they were not that important. That is why he spends so much time on his appearance, he over thinks about people judging him on his appearance when to me that doesn't matter.

He always looks great to me, and always has.

As we both settled down on the sofa and started to eat our breakfast Gary still seemed troubled by this issue. Taking a bite out of my piece of toast I just watched him with eager eyes, anticipating his next move, his next word.

"What would you do... if you had to tell your Mom about us?" He asked, slowly and cautiously taking a bite out of his piece.

I sat there for a moment to contemplate, but then already knew the answer.

"She would be fine with it, I know that already"

"But... how can you be sure?" He pursued.

I put that down to the fact my Mom had always told me she wouldn't think any less of me regardless to who I bought home. As long as I was happy then she was too.

I obviously assumed, considering she always liked Gary that there wouldn't be a problem.

"Mom isn't the sort of person to get mad over something like this. She always said to me as long as I am happy then she is okay with it, regardless if I bought home a girl or a boy,"

Gary frowned slightly at my answer and took another bite out of his toast.

"Yeah... your Mom is amazing,"

I smiled.

Well of course I knew that, she was one of a kind and even though she fussed over me non-stop and nagged me to wear clean boxers everyday I still loved her.

I even missed it now it was no longer around.

As I finished off my toast I aimlessly glanced around the living room.

Mr Mime was not here, but then again why did that come as surprise? He liked hanging out in the garden more than staying indoors.

Was he still upset over last night? Poor little guy.

"Well... it's 8am now, if we have a slow walk down to Viridian City we should be there way before 11am," Gary stated as his eyes glanced at the clock.

I turned to make sure it was the right time.

8am, not long until my Mom would be under the knife, having the operation that would make her better. I sure hoped everything would go well and nothing would go wrong.

As the brunette finished off his toast and placed the plate down on the coffee table I couldn't help but just stare at him.

There was something missing in his eyes, that sparkle had faded.

Maybe it was because of all the things rushing around in his mind concerning his Grandpa and whether or not he should tell him about us? Even so I hated seeing him like this.

We finally headed out of the house at 8:30am, after all I didn't want to hang around at the reception waiting to see Mom. It was bad enough going into the place let alone hanging around waiting.

Luckily for both of us the weather was good again, overcast but pleasantly warm. As long as the rain laid off then today would be perfect, but as large dark clouds loomed overhead I was doubting that possibility.

"So...what are your plans once all this is over?" Gary asked me, intertwining his fingers with mine as he held my hand.

I shrugged a little, unsure of my future.

"I have no idea, I don't know whether I want to continue my journey as becoming the greatest Pokemon Master any more,"

Gary's face seemed shell shocked at my words, like he never expected such negativity to come from me.

Then again I surprised myself.

"Why would you say that? You're a great trainer! You are in your prime, you shouldn't give up now. I know your Mom wouldn't want that,"

I nodded response as we walked towards Viridian.

"I know that Gary, and it isn't because of my Mom that I am thinking of giving up. These past few weeks have really opened my eyes, and showed me that there is a lot more to life than constant training and battling. I guess I have just grown up a lot in a short space of time"

Gary squeezed my hand slightly.

I could tell he didn't want me to give up my dream, but then again it wasn't so much a dream any more. I had done way more than I ever expected to, getting this far was an achievement in itself.

The brunette looked away.

"Yes but, won't you regret it if you give up now?"

I shook my head.

Deep within I kind of knew what I wanted after all this was over.

I wanted to stay with Gary, okay I wouldn't completely give up battling and training. Maybe I could look into becoming a Gym leader or something in the near future?

There were always possibilities.

"Do you regret becoming a researcher?" I asked him.

Gary seemed vacant for a while before responding.

"Well, not exactly. But, there are times when I want to go back on the road and do all the things I used to do when I was a kid. I suppose that's just because of the nostalgia and stuff,"

I understood where he was coming from.

It was only natural to miss something you did vigilantly everyday once you didn't do it as often any more. I would probably feel like that if I went ahead and gave up on my dream.

"But Ash, you have to think about it long and hard. I wouldn't want you to ever give up on something you were passionate about, and if you decided to keep on going then we could find a way of sorting something out. It's not like we wouldn't ever see each other,"

Mentally I cringed.

That was what I didn't want, I wanted to continue living with Gary, as a couple. The past few of weeks really proved to me that we could make it work, and that was what I wanted.

I didn't want it to end.

"But... I like living with you," I murmured, squeezing his hand tightly.

Turning to look at the emerald eyed boy I saw him smile at my words.

"Yes, I know, but that is not a good enough reason to quit your journey. If you said you genuinely was fed up and wanted a change of pace then that is understandable. If it's because of me then that is totally not okay,"

Sighing I knew he was right, as always.

I felt like he was telling me off like my Mom used to when I did something wrong.

Then again my decision was not predominately down to Gary, it was also down to myself.

I wanted to try something different, move on with my life after all I would be Eighteen soon, an adult. I needed to start growing up and moving away from the things I associated with my childhood.

"Gary... it is my choice. I just want to try something new, you know? See the world in a different light and travel around for a whole different reason,"

"I see what you're getting at, but still, I can't help but disagree with your decision"

Well, I wasn't expecting him to be all for it, after all, it was a big bombshell I just released. Wanting to give up my dream of becoming a Pokemon Master for the quiet life? It sounds so unlike me, even I knew that.

But, maybe it was down to Gary and his influence.

"So... where are you going to go after Mom comes home?" I asked him quietly, already subconsciously knowing the answer.

As we continued walking towards Viridian Gary looked away, his face paned with anxiety.

"I actually don't know,"

"Are you going to stick around? Like... in Pallet Town?"

Those emerald eyes gazed into mine and I could tell by that simple gaze that even he didn't know.

A part of me prayed he said he would so then I could stop with Mom for a while when she got back home, but deep within I knew that it was unlikely.

"I have no idea. It might be a good idea to head back to Sinnoh and check on things over there but, I don't know yet,"

Swallowing hard I squeezed his hand, not wanting to let go.

The thought of him gallivanting back over to Sinnoh made my stomach knot violently. If he stuck around then I would see him more often.

"Oh..." I answered plainly.

"It's not for certain Ash, so don't look at me like your whole world is crashing down,"

I weakly nodded as we continued our journey.

Well, if Gary went off back to Sinnoh then I would go with him. I was there anyway before I was called about Mom. I would just be picking up where I left off. Even so, moving on without Gary constantly there with me would be hard.

"I'm sorry," I apologised, not wanting to make him feel terrible about his job being a researcher.

If he had to return then there was nothing I could do about it.

"You don't need to apologise, it's fine. We will cross that bridge if we ever come to it, so stop worrying and smile," He said fiercely, giving me one of those glances that told me to do as he said.

I reluctantly forced a smile which he returned as we walked towards the hospital.

To be honest I wanted that bridge to burn to the ground and never be crossed, because if we crossed it then I would have to accept it. To accept the fact that he would be returning to Sinnoh, back to work, without me.

After a while of walking and constant chit chat about lighter subjects to try and take my mind off other things we both hardly noticed the hospital building until we were standing directly in front of it.

The large white building was already having negative effects on my emotional balance deep inside.

Gary placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently.

"Everything will be okay, you'll see,"

I sure hoped he was right.

I had this horrible gut feeling that things were not going to go as plain sailing as I would of liked, but nevertheless I tried to stay positive for Gary's sake. All this negativity would only weigh both of us down.

I didn't want that.

Taking a deep breath I bravely headed towards the large doors of the hospital, ready to take on anything that was thrown at me.

As long as Gary was here beside me I knew I would be okay.

As we both entered the large white building surprisingly there were fewer people here than any other time I had visited.

Only about 5 people were waiting at reception for some reason or another, and the lady at the desk was on the phone, furiously writing down something on a bit of paper.

I wondered if I had to enquire about visiting my Mom at the desk or not, usually the Doctor took us only this time I couldn't see him anywhere.

Gary gently tapped my back, issuing me forward.

Giving him a cursed glance I sighed and trudged reluctantly towards the desk, waiting for the lady to finish scribbling down on the paper and to hang up. As she peered at us over the top of her glasses we were both greeted with a huge smile.

"Good morning, is there anything I can help you with?"

"Yes, we are here to visit Delia Ketchum," I answered, feeling very odd when I called my Mom by her first just didn't feel right.

The lady nodded and turned to her computer.

As she started tapping away at the keyboard I snuck a look at the taller boy standing behind me.

He nodded and smiled, giving me the courage that I needed.

This place was enough to drive every ounce of courage back to the pits of cowardice.

"Ah yes! She is scheduled to have an operation at 11am, is that correct?"

I nodded and she continued typing on the keyboard, her eyes completely consumed by the writing on the screen in front of her.

"Okay then, if you would like to take a seat her Doctor will be along shortly to lead you to her room,"

I nodded and both Gary and I walked over to a couple of empty seats to wait for the Doctor.

It was weird to me, this was where it all began and when I saw Gary again after so long.

It was like the beginning was looped to the ending and for some reason I didn't like it.

"Wow, ain't this weird. This was were I caught up to you again after so long," Gary mused, leaning back in his seat as his eyes glanced at a random picture on the wall.

Something to do with Tuberculosis.

I gave him a weak nod.

"Yeah I know... and now we are back here again,"

Now he got me staring at the God forsaken poster! What was so interesting anyway?

"Don't worry Ash, the Doc will be here soon and then you can see your Mom before the operation. You just wait and see, everything will be fine,"

"I hope you're right"

I really did, the last thing I wanted was more bad news, some good news would really be great right about now.

As we both sat in the rather uncomfortable foldaway seats I sighed.

Why was this taking so long? Even the other people waiting looked impatient, but then again they were waiting longer than we were. Maybe I was just anxious about it, about seeing Mom again.

"I bet your Mom has been so worried over you," Gary mused, turning his gaze to me.

Yeah that was typical of her, always worrying about everyone else.

"Probably, when really she should be worrying more about herself"

"But Ash that is just your Mom's nature, you can't change that no matter how much you would like to,"

I nodded, obviously knowing that he was right.

I wouldn't want to change my Mom in anyway, she was perfect the way she was, even if she worried all the time.

"Ah, there you are!" Came a rather jovial voice.

Of course I recognised it immediately, it was Mom's Doctor.

I turned around in my seat to face the authoritative man, who just smiled at both Gary and I.

Maybe he had some good news for us?

"How is she?" I asked eagerly, wanting to know if she was actually healthy enough for visitors.

The kind man smiled as he held a clipboard in his arms.

"She is fine, a bit groggy but she is awake. Today has been one of her better days and we are convinced that after this operation she will be fighting fit in no time at all,"

A large smile spread over my face as those words lingered in my ears.

So, she was really going to make a full recovery after all, just like Gary said. And soon, she would be back home with me, fussing about and worrying just like usual.

"Can we see her?" Gary asked, beating me to it.

The Doctor nodded and gestured with his hand for us to accompany him.

"Why of course! I must admit that having the Pokemon in the room for company has really helped her relax under all this stress,"

I smiled as I stood up from my seat, Gary copying my actions.

I knew having Pikachu and Eevee there for company was a great idea, at least then she wouldn't be lonely.

"That is great news," I beamed, subconsciously grabbing hold of Gary's arm as we walked towards the Doctor.

As he readjusted the clipboard in his hands he lead the way down the narrow white washed corridor to the room she had been inhabiting all along whilst stuck in here.

Gripping his arm tightly for comfort I was still half in shock that the possibility of Mom getting 100% better was actually realistic.

She would not be stuck in this infernal hell hole for the rest of her life.

"Is the collapsed lung showing signs of strengthening yet?" Gary enquired curiously to the older man.

He frowned at his question.

"There are no signs as of yet, but once we have completed the operation it should strengthen and inflate in no time at all,"

Well at least that was something.

Once they could get all the fluid off her chest then she would be able to breathe properly.

Weirdly enough there were hardly any people in the corridor, only us three.

That was odd, usually I would see a couple of nurses or Doctors scuttling about but today it was devoid of human activity.

I wondered why that was.

Finally the Doctor lead us up to her room, the room that held so many bad memories for me.

This was when I was told about her lung collapsing and how we were rushed out of the room so quickly I hardly managed to see her. It was horrible, but this time things would be different.

As the older man pushed the door open Gary and I walked inside.

I refused to let go of his arm, I needed something to keep me sane if anything was to go wrong.

Stop it! Nothing will go wrong, everything will be fine, so stop being such a worry wart!

The first image I was greeted with was a yellow splash of colour smashing me directly in my face, causing me to topple backwards.

God damn it Pikachu! I know you missed me, but come on!

Luckily for me Gary grabbed hold of me to stop me from falling onto the floor.

Pulling the yellow mouse off my head I looked at his face, he was smiling wildly, obviously ecstatic to see me.

"Pika Pika!" He beamed, nuzzling my cheek in excitement.

Smiling I watched as Eevee leapt off the bed and bounded towards Gary.

It was so cute how she was so attached to him, looks like me and her had more in common than I ever imagined.

"Hey there buddy, you been coping okay?" I asked my electric partner who nodded at my question.

Gently scratching the top of his head I looked around the room.

God, this place would forever haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.

The white washed walls, the large machine that beeped incessantly and the deathly still fragile woman that used to be my Mother lying in bed. All of this would burn into my retinas for eternity.

I watched as Gary scooped up the Eevee in his arms and smiled as she playfully licked the tip of his nose.

"Veeeee!"

He smiled and God I loved that smile.

It was just full of warmth, and sincerity. Whenever he used to smile like that around me I knew I had achieved something great, after all, it was quite difficult for him to be so expressive.

Slowly I allowed Pikachu to jump onto my back and perch on my shoulder.

It was easier to walk that way, and besides he preferred that way of travelling anyway.

Gary was right behind me as I slowly and cautiously tread towards the bed.

There she lay, completely still, eyes closed off to the world.

I wondered if she knew I was here, if she worried about me and how she felt about everything that had happened recently.

Pulling up a chair to the side of the bed I settled down, listening to the beeping of the monitor as it registered her heart beat.

"Hey Mom," I murmured weakly, feeling every ounce of courage start to drain out of me.

Her skin was pallid and almost transparent. That lovely healthy rosy tint that illuminated her cheeks was now gone, and I had no idea if that would ever return to her complexion. Her breathing was deep and raspy through the oxygen mask, like she had terrible Asthma.

I knew what the cause was, it was down to this horrible Pneumonia that had tried to take her away from me. Well, I wasn't going to let it beat us, not this time.

Gary pulled up another chair as he held Eevee in his other arm so he could sit beside me.

I needed him here, if he wasn't I probably would not be able to do this.

Yes, I knew that she would get better after having the operation, but right now she was still as sick as ever.

"Pika Pi..." Pikachu cooed softly, his ears drooping as I watched her eyelids flicker slightly.

At least she might be able to talk to me this time, I hated just watching her suffer without being able to ask her if she was okay.

Of course it was kind of stupid, I mean who is okay being stuck in a hospital for weeks on end?

Gary reached out and held my hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

Turning to look into his eyes he gave me a nod, showing me he wasn't going anywhere.

I was forever grateful for that.

"Ash?"

My ears alerted to a hoarse raspy voice emitting from my Mom.

Oh my God, she actually spoke!

I watched as weakly she pulled off the oxygen mask and placed it to the side.

Using my free hand I reached out and grabbed hers, feeling just how fragile and weak she had become.

"Yes Mom, it's me. I'm here,"

I watched as her eyes opened slightly, revealing just how bloodshot and weary they were.

This was so unlike her, seeing my Mom so sick was making my heart ache. She tried to smile but was too weak to muster it.

"You're... looking well..."

"I wish I could say the same for you,"

I chuckled, trying to get rid of some of this tension that had suddenly engulfed the room.

The Pokemon remained silent, even Gary stayed mute while my Mom struggled to converse with me.

Again she tried to smile, obviously agreeing with me.

"You're going to get better Mom, you'll be home soon," I assured her, giving her hand a comforting squeeze, watching as her eyes became half lidded.

She must have been exhausted, this horrible illness was literally sucking the very life out of her and with every passing second Gary and I were witnessing it.

"Have... you been...eating properly?" She struggled to ask, coughing violently after her words.

I smiled and nodded.

Typical Mom, even though she is fighting for her life she is more concerned about my diet. Some things never change.

I turned to Gary and watched as he smiled at me, still holding my other hand for comfort.

I wondered if Mom had cottoned on yet about us, but then again I knew there was nothing to worry about.

"No need to worry, Gary has been looking after me,"

She stole a glance at the brunette, sighing in contentment.

"I can... see that. Thank you... Gary,"

The emerald eyed boy seemed to get suddenly very shy at the compliment and bowed his head slightly.

"It's no problem, someone has to make sure he changes his underwear everyday, right?"

God.. what a thing to say! And to my Mom! I was sure that she didn't need to know that.

But, regardless of his comment she sort of chuckled and nodded.

The sound of her heavy breathing was crucifying to my ears.

I just wanted everything back to normal, and for her to be out of bed rushing around like usual. But when that would happen I had no idea.

"I am... glad you are happy... Ash," She murmured quietly, now in turn gently squeezing my hand.

I nodded, even though I would be happier if she wasn't in this state.

"I just want you to get better Mom," I whined, looking down at the pure white bed sheets that were coiled around her thin frame.

For an odd reason I could feel myself welling up. Tears stung my eyes and I tried my utmost to remain strong, even if it was so incredibly difficult.

Seeing her so weak and lifeless was hurting me to the point of breaking. I just wanted her to get better and soon.

Gary squeezed my hand to comfort me, making me turn to look at his face.

An awkward yet sincere smile scarred those perfect features and I knew that he would always be there for me, no matter what.

"Gary..." Mom uttered weakly, making the emerald eyed boy look straight at the fragile woman.

"Yes?"

"Thank you... for looking after my baby,"

It was then I felt that intense blush burn my face again, reaching up to my ears.

Did she even know we were a couple? Maybe it was just that obvious, I mean he was holding my hand after all.

The brunette smiled.

"You don't have to thank me, you know I wouldn't let anything happen to Ash"

Biting my bottom lip tentatively I struggled to keep calm and composed.

That was probably the nicest thing he had ever said to me, and in front of my Mom too.

It was just so unlike Gary, after all, being expressive and considerate was not part of his nature.

I watched as Mom smiled, wheezing with every breath.

Frowning to myself I prayed that this operation would help her breathe again, to flood life and colour back into those rosy cheeks, and to see that beautiful sparkle in her eyes.

I really hoped that would be possible.

"Pika..." Pikachu cooed, nuzzling my neck softly as I sniffled, not aware that I was holding back my tears.

It was like the little guy could sense my misery and was trying to make me feel better. Even though it was a simple gesture just him being there for me was enough.

Mom coughed violently, making me cringe.

God, it sounded so painful, like every cough was ripping her insides apart.

I just wanted all that pain to drain from her.

I wanted my Mom back.

"Ash..." She murmured weakly, her eyes becoming half lidded.

I held her hand vigilantly as I looked at her pallid complexion.

"What is it Mom?"

As those beautiful eyes stared into mine I could just see life being sucked out of her with every passing second and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Don't forget... I'll always... love you,"

That was it then, I couldn't hold it back any more.

I felt warm tears trickle down my face as those words lingered in my ears.

I knew she loved me, but the way she was saying it right now was doing excruciating things to my heart.

It was as if it was a goodbye, as if she would never have the chance to tell me ever again.

Bowing my head I bit my lip harder trying not to cry out loud, I didn't want Gary or Pikachu to be alarmed.

"I... love you too Mom," I muttered, trying to keep my voice stable and attempting to quieten down the small shivers that were running down my spine.

She gave a squeeze of my hand and I knew that at this precise moment noting else mattered.

I needed her in my life, truth be told.

No matter how old I got or how old she got we would always need each other.

I would always need my Mom.

Suddenly my ears detected the sound of loud beeping, much louder than before which made me raise my head to look at her.

Her hand was limp in my own, her eyes were shut off from the world and as panic started to flood my system I started to realise I was losing her.

Desperately I looked around the room as the sound seemed to deafen me, getting louder with each second.

Gary's face was a replica of my own, worry, apprehension, concern.

Where were the Doctors?!

"Somebody help!" I cried helplessly, releasing her hand and standing up in shock.

I wanted to help her, I wanted to be able to do something for her, but I was powerless.

Doctors and nurses flooded into the room at the sound of the beeping machine, indicating that something was wrong.

Gary stood up, holding Eevee with one arm as he draped the other protectively around my waist.

My eyes were wide and blurry with tears that were spilling from my eyes.

Why was nobody saying anything?!

"What's happening?! What's going on?!"

The Doctor rushed to her side to check her pulse, his face morphed into shock as he spoke;

"She has gone into Cardiac Arrest, charge the panels!"

As both Gary and I were pushed away from the bedside I looked around the room, watching as the nurses scuttled about quickly while life was slowly escaping my Mom.

No... this was not happening. Panels?! What the hell does that mean? Why is nobody telling me anything?!

As Gary and I were told to leave the room my eyes focused on her lifeless form while the Doctors and nurses placed these large panels on her chest and sent electric pulses into her body.

I cringed.

They were hurting her... No! I had to stop them!

"Stop it! You're hurting her!" I pleaded desperately, trying to escape Gary's vice grip to be by her side.

It was no use, I couldn't do anything.

Soon enough I become overwhelmed with sorrow, crying loudly into Gary's chest as we were both shuffled out of the room in a hurry.

The last sound that entered my ears were the words;

"Charged at 30... clear!"

I felt empty, like someone had come along and carved out my heart and stabbed it right in front of my eyes.

My whole body trembled as I sat on a bench outside the room, waiting impatiently for any news.

Pikachu's ears were dropped the entire time as he sobbed quietly beside me.

He knew just like I did that it did not look promising, that there was a high chance we would lose her.

Closing my eyes tightly I placed my head in my hands, trying to fight off the urge to punch something, anything.

She didn't deserve this! Why was this even happening? She was going to have the operation in 20 minutes! Why couldn't she hold on a little longer...

I had just lost it, I was a complete and utter mess.

I cried loudly into my hands, feeling Pikachu's tiny hands rub my arm to try to offer some form of comfort.

It wasn't enough, I needed her, I needed my Mom.

A part of me was beginning to sink deeper into despair as time lingered on, not knowing if she was okay or if she was dead.

It was just excruciating and I was teetering on the brink of a breakdown.

"Ash..." Gary whispered, wrapping his arms around my hunched figure and resting his head on my shoulder.

It was a nice after thought having him here with me, with Eevee and Pikachu, but it just wasn't enough.

Even though I was surrounded by people and Pokemon who loved me I was still lonely.

I sniffled, feeling my nose begin to get stuffy and blocked up.

Furiously wiping my eyes I tried to calm down.

It was obvious I had been crying, my eyes were probably red anyway.

The sound of the door creaking alerted me and made me look upwards.

It was the Doctor that had been looking after her the entire time she had been here. His face looked pained and it was then I knew.

I knew that we had lost this battle.

"No..." I mumbled weakly, shaking my head desperately as tears streamed down my face.

God... no...my heart hurt so much.

Gary continued holding me as I refused to believe it.

This was not meant to happen, she was meant to get better and come home! Not... not be...

"I am so sorry..."

The Doctor apologised, bowing his head in regret.

Closing my eyes tightly I buried my head into Gary's chest, crying loudly.

She was meant to come home! To get better and to come home... back to me.

"NOOOOOO!" I screamed, gripping onto Gary's shirt for dear life as my body shook violently.

I didn't want to hear their stupid apologies, I wanted them to tell em she was going to be okay. But no... that wasn't going to happen.

"Her heart was just too weak to fight the illness any more, we were too late to save her,"

"NOOOOO! No... just... SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" I cried angrily, feeling rage fill my body as the realisation was starting to sink in.

I had just lost my Mom, the one who was always there for me no matter what, the one person who always made me feel better if I was feeling blue, and the one person who I needed in my life.

Now... I just felt empty.

As I gripped Gary he just held me, I knew he was upset too, maybe even shedding a tear.

Pikachu was in pieces, crying loudly just like I was, I could hear him.

He didn't deserve this, he had been there for her throughout the past couple of weeks, and now she was gone.

It was just unreal... I was speaking to her just a few minutes ago and she was fine. Why...?

And as the tears continued cascading from my eyes I felt my body go numb.

It was like a part of me was taken with her, the part of me that wanted to carry on, to be the best I could be.

Without her there for constant support what did I have left? I had Gary yes, but soon enough he would go back to Sinnoh and move on with his career.

I would be stuck in a rut going nowhere.

I just wanted her here... with me, and with every shooting star that passed it would remind me that Pallet Town lost the brightest star that ever lived.


	18. You're Not Alone

Gary's POV

I was eight years old when my Mom decided to just up and leave to continue her career as a field researcher.

As you could imagine I was very dependant on having her in my life, so hearing the news wasn't the best thing that could have happened. Gramp's assured me that she was doing this for my benefit and when I was old enough I would understand the reasons why. In my head though nothing would ever justify her reasons for leaving me.

I mean what sort of Mother leaves her son?

When she actually left it was on Christmas Eve. All that she left was a letter on the table, saying how she was sorry she couldn't of been a better Mom and that she needed to do this for herself and for me.

That was the worst Christmas ever.

I was a nightmare to live with after that, Gramp's had a hard time keeping me nailed to the ground and controlling my mood swings. Well, as far as I was concerned she didn't care enough about me to stay, I wasn't bothered if she gave up her career, I just wanted her to be a good Mom to me and watch me grow up.

Obviously that was just too much to ask for.

I even took my anger out on Ash, who had always been there for me as we grew up. I made it my purpose to push everyone who was close to me away so then I would not have to go through the pain and torment of having them up and leave me suddenly.

He was so lucky, him and his Mom got on like a house on fire and they were so close.

I envied him.

I envied him so fucking much it got to the point that I swore I would be better than him, I would always make sure he was one step behind me. I didn't need a Mom to be successful, I didn't need a Mom to be happy and I would prove this to everyone, even Ash.

Although I was a complete bastard to him 99.9% of the time a part of me felt terrible for hurting him just because of my own self inflicted misery.

Mom hardly called or sent letters, the only time I ever received anything was on my birthday and at Christmas, but even so it was only a card with a huge cheque inside.

Guilt money, money that she obviously hoped would fix the shattered relationship we had.

No chance.

Obviously I would accept the money, but nothing she did would ever piece back together what we had.

She had left me, nothing would change that.

But that was so many years ago, and to this day I still think about it. I think about what if things were different? Would I have been nicer to Ash? Would I still have become a researcher?

But there are some things we can't change, and now this had said it all to me.

Ash is now like me, he has just lost the one person who mattered more than life itself to him. Ash is now feeling worse than I did back then, and now all that jealously seems pointless.

I never imagined that Delia would die, it just didn't seem possible to me. Everyone just assumes they will live forever, but life has a weird way of kicking you in the head repeatedly.

I just don't want Ash to end up like me, I don't want Ash to resent everyone like I did.

"Veeeee~"

I snapped out of my thoughts to Eevee's soft cooing as she snuggled in my arms.

Looking down at her I tried to smile, maybe she knew what had been racing through my head just a few moments ago?

Well, at least she still had her parents.

I had taken Ash outside so he could get some fresh air, being stuck in this God forsaken place was not the best course of action right now I figured. I also decided to get us something warm to drink, coffee usually helps a situation no matter how bad it is.

As the machine whirred in front of me I casually stroked one of Eevee's ears, still thinking about my past.

Even though I went through all of that at such a young age I have still turned out alright, maybe not the nicest person in the world but, I'm getting there. As long as I have Ash though I know I will be okay.

As the coffee poured into the polystyrene cups I hoped Ash was okay outside by himself.

He wouldn't do anything stupid would he? Well, he had Pikachu with him so at least he wasn't totally isolated.

The weather didn't look too great either when I took Ash outside.

I swear it was going to rain or even thunder and lightning. Then again it wouldn't be that surprising, if I was Mother nature I would probably be upset.

I sighed as the coffee machine stopped whirring and two cups of steaming hot liquid stood before me.

Eevee instinctively leapt out of my arms so I could carry both of the cups. She probably hated this place as much as I did, and after everything I had said too.

I had tried to convince Ash that she would be okay, that his Mom would get better.

How was I to know that she wouldn't?

Biting my lip Eevee and I walked back outside, towards a broken Ash who was probably too shattered to be put back together.

Walking outside I was greeted with a large clap of lightning and the horrific sound of thunder booming overhead. Rain was hammering down and the only thing I could think about was Ash.

He was out here with no coat on or anything, he could catch his death of cold if he stayed out in this!

As quickly as I could, not giving a shit if my hair got soaked, Eevee and I ran towards where I had last left the boy. On a bench, situated just outside the hospital.

As the rain started to soak me to the skin my eyes darted across that crumpled figure of Ash.

His head was drooped downwards, hands clasped together and Pikachu sat beside him, looking concerned. Obviously he was not taking this well, it was to be expected.

Eevee was the first to leap onto the bench, shaking her fur from the rain.

As I settled beside the raven haired boy I handed out a cup to him. His eyes flickered across to me for a second before slowly taking the cup out of my hands.

Those eyes were just emotionless, glassed over, as if someone had taken out his soul...

"God... why is the coffee so expensive,"

I tried making small talk, trying to be my usual obnoxious self to gain some sort of expression from him.

It was useless, he was still as vacant as before.

Eevee nuzzled his arm affectionately, also showing that she was here for him, but nothing seemed to work.

Of course it wouldn't. The one person he wanted and needed in his life was now gone forever.

Pikachu frowned in sadness as small electric jolts sizzled in his cheeks.

He didn't like the rain much.

My eyes diverted away from the broken boy, enough to begin thinking again.

If anyone deserved this shit in their lives it was me, not him. Ash had never put a foot wrong in life, always steadily moving forward towards his goal, but now it just seemed to be a fading memory.

"Why...?"I heard his voice, so small and fragile enter my ears.

I turned to face him, watching as the coffee cup trembled in his hands, at how his whole body convulsed in the pouring rain. I took a sip from my cup before placing a hand on his shoulder.

I needed him to know I was here for him.

"Why... Gary?" He asked, looking to me with pleading eyes, eyes that were stained with tears. Tears that trickled down his face like a weak waterfall, a waterfall too tired to continue.

A lump congealed in my throat as I saw just how broken he was, his eyes had lost that sparkle that I adored.

As the rain poured down onto us and the sky was grey I just hoped that perhaps the rain would wash away all the tears from his eyes.

I squeezed his shoulder gently, hoping that he wouldn't break because heaven forbid I would too. My hair started to cling to my face from the rain as it did to Ash. It was obvious he didn't care about it, he probably wouldn't care if he got sick from being out in this, but I did.

"Ash..." I muttered weakly, rubbing his shoulder affectionately, feeling every tremor that erupted through his body.

"Why... did she... have to... die...?" Ash whined, bowing his head lower into his arms as the tremors increased in volume.

I just wanted to hold him in my arms and never let go, I wanted to kiss away all those tears and I wanted to piece him back together.

I watched as the coffee cup fell out of his hands and splashed all over the ground. They trembled as sadness consumed him.

That was it, I needed to help somehow.

Placing the cup beside me on the bench I did exactly what I wanted to.

I pulled the boy into an embrace, resting his head against my chest as the rain continued to soak our forms.

"I know... what you are going through," I murmured quietly, gentling combing my fingers through his mattered raven hair, feeling every shiver of his body.

Small muffled sniffles echoed in the air and I just knew that he was crying again. A part of me prayed that my arms were offering some kind of relief from this ongoing torment.

"That's it now... it's all... over... I have no-one..." He weakly murmured in between sobs, making my arms tighten around him.

Of course he wasn't alone, he had me and I would always be there for him. I would always be there to catch him if he ever felt like letting go of it all, and I would never leave him, not now not ever.

"You will always have me," I soothed, taking a quick glance across at Eevee, who had now snuggled up beside Pikachu.

His hands gripped my shirt tighter as the convulsions got fiercer.

Maybe it was all just sinking in, the fact that his Mom would never come home, that she was gone forever.

He sniffled and raised his head, dark clouded eyes gazing into my own.

I felt my heart pain slightly as shattered dreams and neglect poured out from his own melting eyes into mine. His nose was red and stuffy from the tears he had shed and his cheeks had a slight red hue glazing them.

Deep within I just wanted all this pain to melt away, I just wanted Ash to be happy again.

"What if... you go... too?" He whined, hiccuping slightly before using one hand to wipe his face.

I frowned.

I wasn't planning on leaving him any time soon.

Scratching the top of his messed up hair playfully I returned;

"Don't be silly, I don't plan on going anywhere,"

"I... don't mean... like that,"

My eyes widened as his head bowed, hands still clutching me like I was his only lifeline.

"What if... you die too?"

Without thinking I pulled the raven haired boy close to me once again, gently kissing his forehead.

That was absurd to even think of! I was a perfectly healthy teenager so the idea of dying at this precise moment in time wasn't on the agenda.

"You won't get rid of me that easily you know," I teased, loving how I could just hold him in my arms and not be judged by anyone.

I hoped that he would know I was just joking and not get even more upset. That would definitely put the tin lid on things.

He sniffled into my shirt.

"Yeah... I suppose you're right,"

As the rain seemed to show signs of finally stopping I could hardly feel my body.

God, I was soaked to the bone and freezing cold, I could only imagine Ash felt the same as I did. I needed to get him home in the warm, that was probably a good idea.

"I think we should head back home and rest up, if you don't want to collect your Mom's things tomorrow then I'll do it,"

"No..." He said defiantly, pulling away slightly to wipe his face. "...I need to go...I need to... say goodbye,"

I gave a weak nod.

If that was what he wanted then I would be an idiot to get in the way.

Ruffling his hair one final time I watched as he shakily rose to his feet.

A part of me wondered if his legs would just collapse underneath him like a card tower, but the longer he remained steady the more I assumed he would be okay.

Eevee and Pikachu leapt off the bench and stayed together, offering each other company and whatever comfort they needed through this tough time, after all, they had been with Ash's Mom from the start. They witnessed her good days and bad days, and now her death.

It must have been excruciating for the little guys.

"You alright?" I asked the raven haired boy, completely ignoring the fact I still had a full cup of coffee on the bench.

Oh well, I don't mind wasting money.

He nodded.

"Yeah..."

Instinctively I placed my arm around his waist, steadying his balance so he could walk easier.

We were both completely soaked, every inch of clothing clung to us like cling film and our hair was matted and stuck to random sides of our faces.

God, we looked a mess, but I didn't care right now.

"You want to walk home or...?"

"Walk..." Ash interrupted me before I gave him the other option.

I nodded, giving Pikachu and Eevee a nod to follow our lead.

As we finally started our low and tedious walk away from that God forsaken building I wondered how all these emotions and feelings were keeping so composed.

I had sort of expected a breakdown, or some anger at least. Ash just seemed broken, defeated, like he had given up on life itself. Wait... that isn't good!

Going into his house and to be reminded of his Mom would probably test his sanity, and if he could manage that then he could get through anything.

He was so much stronger than I ever thought, when my Mom left me I was a wreck. I blamed everyone, had serious anger problems and always tried to be better than others just to inflate my own stupid ego.

Ash, no he was some kind of special.

He was dealing with this in a way that was foreign to myself.

He was being so strong, so brave and I was proud. I was so proud that he was not acting like how I did, he was not pushing people away.

Luckily for him he is completely opposite to me.

It took an hour or so before we reached the gate of his house.

Thankfully the rain had stopped and all that remained were dark ominous clouds. It was now late afternoon.

Parts of my clothing had dried but my hair was still soaked, oh well, I would just have a shower when I got inside.

My arm never left Ash's waist the entire time we walked, even if it was mostly in silence. I figured that he still had a lot to deal with in his own mind and so gave him that opportunity.

Now we were finally back at his home and we were both frozen to the spot.

Eevee and Pikachu bought up the rear and eventually caught up to us.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, watching the change of expression on his face. It had morphed from slightly emotionless to utter fear and horror.

He shook his head wildly, backing away from me.

"No... No... I don't... I can't!"

Grabbing him tightly with my hands I asked;

"Whoa! You can't what?"

Wide dark eyes darted about like a scared rabbit in the headlights, his body trembled slightly in my hands as his voice pleaded;

"I can't go in there! I... can't..."

My eyes diverted to the house which was covered in a blanket of darkness.

Every inch of it was smothered in memories, memories him and his Mom shared, memories that would never be forgotten. It was too soon to bring them up.

"Okay... it's okay..." I soothed, pulling him into another comforting hug as I stood there contemplating the next course of action.

We couldn't stand outside all night, that would do us no favours what so ever.

As I combed my fingers through his hair to calm him down it clicked suddenly.

There was one place we could go to and it wasn't that far away either. Even if the thought of going there with Ash in tow was a little daunting I wasn't going to suddenly become some sort of wet lettuce and let Ash down. Not on my watch.

"Do you want to stay at Gramp's for a while? Just until everything gets sorted at your place?" I asked, tilting his head up so I could see his face.

He gave a weak nod, a defeatist nod which didn't fill me with much confidence.

"Will... you be there?" He enquired in a small voice.

I nodded and gave him a small smile, just wishing and hoping he would smile too.

"Course I am! You really think I am going to stay out on the streets?"

And then the greatest thing happened, he smiled! He actually smiled! Well, at least that was some progress.

Giving him a small kiss on the forehead I lead the smaller boy towards Gramp's lab.

I knew that he would be totally okay with Ash staying for a while, especially given the circumstances.

The only thing I was unsure of was would he still be okay if he knew I loved Ash and that he was my boyfriend? Oh well, right now what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

So that was settled, Ash could move in with me for a while until everything was sorted out. The idea of it was a little comforting and exciting. It had been years since Ash had last slept over at mine, when we were kids were used to have sleepovers quite often but as we grew up simple pleasures like that were just avoided for some reason.

I was so glad I got that opportunity again.

Slowly Ash and I, closely followed by Eevee and Pikachu, trundled towards Gramp's lab.

I sure as hell hoped he had some food laying around somewhere, I was freakin' starving!

Standing outside the door of the lab was actually slightly frightening to say the least.

Last time I was here was when I confessed about my sexual orientation to Gramp's and expected the book to be thrown at me.

Instead I just got a guilt trip about lying to him.

Yeah, yeah, like I didn't know about that. Anyway, I still felt rotten about it, but this time I was here for a different reason.

I was here because of Ash, he needed me and he needed somewhere to cool off and relax.

Knocking the door cautiously I waited with bated breath.

It was getting late, knowing Gramp's he would be giving the Pokemon their last feeds for the night before heading off to his bedroom. I hoped that was the case.

I felt Ash clinging to my arm desperately, it was almost like he was frightened to let go in case something would happen to me.

"Don't worry, Gramp's will be totally cool about you staying here," I assured him, watching as large clouded brown eyes stared up at me.

"I'm sorry..." He mumbled, those eyes now darting away to the floor once again.

I sighed.

"You don't have to apologise, you haven't done anything wrong,"

The raven haired boy leaned against me for support as he responded;

"I put you through so much trouble..."

"You haven't, if I didn't want to help you then I wouldn't," I said slightly colder than I wanted to.

Biting my lip I cursed at my own stupid nature and arrogant attitude.

Luckily for me he didn't take it all too literally, he just nodded weakly.

Great going there Gary, you are meant to make him feel better not flaming worse!

As a sigh escaped my lips I hardly noticed when the large door opened and Gramp's was stood there, looking shocked.

Well, it's not like he expected visitors or anything.

"Gary! Ash! What a pleasant surprise!" He beamed, smiling that same smile we all loved.

Seemed like no matter what time I called round he was still up for visitors.

"Yeah... Gramp's, I have a favour to ask you," I mumbled, knowing that he would probably assume I wanted to borrow money or something.

Well isn't that usually what us teenagers are renowned for?

He folded his arms;

"What is it?"

I looked across to Ash, who had not said a word the entire time.

"Can Ash stay here for a few nights?"

Gramp's glanced from my expression to Ash's, watching at how feeble and meek he had become, he had just lost everything about him.

"Well, yes of course he can. May I ask why?"

I knew this question was coming, and I didn't really want to bring it up again around Ash. He had heard it all too many times today.

"Can you at least invite us in first? I'll tell you the whole story then,"

Gramp's nodded and allowed all of us entry into the lab.

Ash continued clinging to my arm, frightened to let go.

I wondered if Gramp's had noticed?

When we got inside I told Ash to make use of our shower and to get freshened up while I spoke to Gramp's about the whole ordeal.

Of course he didn't object, hell I could of told him to jump off a cliff and he would've probably done it. At least then he wouldn't have to hear me retell the agonising tale of events.

Eevee and Pikachu were allowed to mingle with the Pokemon that were staying here. Eevee went to spend time with her parents while Pikachu played with his old friends, Squirtle and Bulbasaur.

This left only Gramp's and I in the living room.

"So... what has happened? Ash looks like the whole world has just fallen on top of him," Gramp's remarked, sitting comfortably in his armchair.

I nodded, sitting opposite, feeling the warmth from the fire start to dry the remainder of my clothes.

"You could say that, you see the thing is... today Delia was meant to have an operation to make her better,"

Gramp's eyes widened at my words, and bent slightly forward in his seat.

I swallowed hard.

"They were going to make a small cut in her throat so they could get a tube into her lungs and vacuum up the fluid that was causing her breathing problems..."

"I see, well did it work?" Gramp's asked, fidgeting slightly at the news I was telling.

I slowly shook my head, trying not to get upset about it all over again.

"No Gramp's... she died before the operation..."

A thick awkward silence smothered the room and Gramp's eyes sparkled in sadness.

God, I hated that look in his eyes. It was making me begin to well up too, and hell I don't cry!

He bowed his head, clasping his hands together as it was all starting to sink in.

"And that is... why you want Ash to stay?"

I nodded, knowing that this news would hurt Gramp's indefinitely.

He had always been close to Ash's Mom, when Ash and I left on our Pokemon journeys at ten they became really close friends.

It was only natural Gramp's would be upset by it.

"No wonder Ash looked so broken..." He mused quietly.

"I hate it, I hate seeing him like this," I commented, frowning slightly.

"It's only natural Gary, I remember how you were when your Mother left,"

I shot him a cursed glance.

I didn't want him to bring that up ever again! This was not the time or the place!

I huffed, refusing to speak about it.

"I can't actually believe it... that she is dead. From what I was told she was making progress and getting better, what happened to change that?"

I shrugged, not actually knowing the full story.

All I knew was her heart gave up before the operation.

"Her heart was too weak to continue, that's what the Doctor's told me,"

Gramp's shook his head, finding it all a little hard to believe.

"This is a sadness..."

"Yeah, and Ash cannot bear going home yet, that's why I asked if he could stay here for a while,"

Gramp's raised his head and leaned back in his chair. He nodded, like I knew he would.

There would never be an issue with Ash staying here, after all, he treated Ash like another Grandson.

"Of course, I understand. He can stay as long as he needs, but... what is he going to do about the funeral?"

I bit the inside of my lip.

It was too soon for Ash to start considering details like that, and if he wasn't up to it then I would help. He had been through enough already.

"I don't know about that, but I think it's too soon to even begin thinking about that,"

Gramp's nodded, sighing under his breath.

Resting back in the armchair my thoughts lingered on the raven haired boy.

I hoped he was okay up there on his own, I hoped he wasn't beating himself up too much about this.

I placed a hand to my forehead, feeling the first signs of a headache approaching.

"Yes, you may be right there. The one thing Ash's needs right now is some form of comfort, and I believe you are the best person for that job,"

My eyes shot a glance to Gramp's.

His face was solemn and I knew he was being deadly serious.

Did he even know about our relationship?

"Why do you say that?" I asked, a little defensively.

"Well you have known Ash for the longest time. You boys have been friends now for years and I know you are the closest person he has in his life. You would probably be surprised how much he depends on you,"

Deep within I would be lying if those words weren't inflating my ego. Well, come on it did feel good to be depended on.

I smiled weakly, relaxing a little in my armchair.

"You really think so?"

Gramp's nodded.

"Definitely. Right now you are probably the only person who can make Ash smile again"

Those words reached somewhere deep inside me that I never knew existed.

My heart fluttered like a Butterfree and that was slightly odd to say the least.

Was I really that important to him? Would I be able to make him smile after all this?

"Anyway, I think you better go and check on him. Dinner will be done in about fifteen minutes, it should give you boys time to talk things through,"

I nodded, very pleased at the fact food would soon be arriving. It had felt like years since I had eaten anything, and I had sort of missed home cooking.

Standing up from my seat I smiled at Gramp's.

He seemed so at ease, even with this terrible news.

Maybe it was because he knew that Ash would be okay.

"Alright then,"

I took my leave and started to head towards the stairs.

Deep inside I wondered if Ash had finished in the bathroom or if he was just wallowing in more self pity. My first point of call would definitely be the bathroom.

As I walked up the stairs and headed towards the bathroom I listened intently for any signs that he was still in there.

I couldn't hear any water running, it was so silent you could seriously hear a pin hit the floor. This wasn't very comforting.

Sighing a little I pushed the bathroom door open.

It was vacant, seems like Ash was not here after all.

So he was in my own bedroom then.

Turning I headed for my own room, feeling a rush of nostalgia hit me in the face like a rock.

It had been such a long time since Ash and I were in my bedroom. Years in fact since we had a sleepover and used to stay up all night watching Pokemon battles, wondering what it would be like when we finally got to do that.

Man... that was years ago.

I smiled at the thoughts of our past as I opened the door.

My eyes immediately diverted to the curled up figure on my bed, faced away from my presence.

Ash was in the foetal position, wearing my blue dressing gown.

"Ash?" I asked, slightly concerned at how still he was.

After a moment of silence he turned his head to face me, his eyes still clouded over with shattered dreams and heartache.

"Gary..." He said quietly, before turning back around to face the wall.

I frowned, now knowing that it was probably harder for him to deal with than I ever thought.

When my Mom left I had Gramp's to pick up the pieces, Ash only had me and right now I wasn't doing a great job.

I walked towards him and sat on the edge of the bed.

His body remained curled up in a defensive position.

God, I hated seeing him like this. This was not the Ash I knew.

"Is everything okay?" I enquired, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

He tensed suddenly but soon relaxed.

"No..." Was the response.

Well I should of expected that answer really, I mean who is going to be okay when their Mom has just died?

"Ash... you know I'll always be here for you, right?"

Again there was silence for a while until his body twisted and turned so he was sitting upright.

Those dark eyes melted into my own as his expression screamed out uncertainty. He was just so broken right now, and I wasn't even sure if I would be able to fix him.

"No you won't..." He returned coldly, pulling his knees up to his chin and wrapping his arms around them.

My eyes widened at his words.

"What? What the hell is that meant to mean?"

"It means you won't always be here for me..." Ash answered, his voice lacking that usual bubbly undertone to it.

He even refused to look at me while saying these vulgar words.

He didn't know any of it, and I was positive I would never abandon him or ever leave him. He was too precious to lose.

"How can you say that?"

Ash rocked slightly, holding his knees to his chest, resting his chin on top of them.

"You will just up and leave when all this has blown over... I know it,"

At that precise moment it actually felt like I was heart broken.

I would just up and leave? What the hell does that even mean?! I wasn't frickin' planning on going anywhere without him!

Trying to contain my annoyance I questioned;

"Why do you even think that I would? After everything you still think that low of me?!"

He didn't respond, he just remained silent.

Looked to me like I had given him too much time in solitude for all this to mess up his head. Maybe he should of stayed in the living room with Gramp's and I?

"You said yourself... you are going back to Sinnoh," He eventually commented.

My eyes widened.

Well, okay I did suggest that but, not now! There was no way I could ever leave him to just continue with my work. I wouldn't be able to concentrate and I would worry everyday.

No, from now on I would stay with Ash, regardless of my other commitments.

"Not any more..."

I reached out and grabbed one of his hands, holding it securely in my own.

Dark emotionless eyes gazed into mine as I refused to let go.

"I could never leave you... not now, not ever"

And as those eyes stared into mine I could feel it, the first signs of wanting to cry.

The agonising tightening feeling in my chest, the lump congealing in my throat and the way he was just looking at me.

I needed him to know I was serious, right now I was the only thing he had left and I wasn't going to take that away from him.

His eyes turned away to stare at the bed sheets before him.

"This is all my fault..." He murmured weakly.

"How is this your fault?" I asked, continuing to hold his hand for comfort.

He shrugged slightly as I watched his eyes start to well up with tears once again.

"When you said... it was my fault she got sick... you were right,"

Once again I wanted to kick myself when he said that.

I only said that when I was angry, he must have knew I never meant a word of it.

Ash would never be to blame for something like that.

"Ash... I was mad, I wasn't being serious. How was it your fault she got sick?"

A single tear dribbled down his face as his bottom lip quivered slightly in the dimming light.

"If... I wasn't so self obsessed... I would've come home... I would've spent more time with her before... before..."

His head drooped and his shoulders trembled as tears spilled out from those broken eyes.

I couldn't believe he was beating himself up about it, it was so wrong.

Ash wasn't to blame for having a goal in life, and his Mother supported him till the end.

I shuffled closer to the raven haired boy and wrapped my arms around him, trying to be the best kind of comfort he could have right now.

His body convulsed in my arms as he cried loudly.

The noises were excruciating to my ears.

"Ash, it was not your fault okay? Stop blaming yourself," I soothed, kissing the top of his head lightly.

He sniffled into my shirt, gripping me tightly as a whirlpool of emotions washed over him.

"But... if I... if I had come home... then..."

"Stop it! It was not your fault okay? Nothing you could've done would have prevented this," I said severely, holding him tighter.

I hated this, I hated seeing him like this.

It was breaking my heart in two and I just wanted him to stop crying. It wasn't right to see him cry, Ash was always meant to be happy, to be annoying, not upset.

"I... I... God.. I miss her Gary!" He cried out, holding onto me for dear life.

I felt my heart sink into a sea of despair as I heard his cries.

I knew it would be long time before he would ever be able to be fixed, if at all. I just wanted him to know that he wasn't alone through this, that I would always be there for him and that I would always love him.

"I know Ash... I miss her too,"

A few hours passed quite quickly which lead into a rather calm night time.

Ash and I ate at the dinner table with Gramp's while we chatted about light hearted subjects to try and brighten the mood. I had let Ash borrow some of my clothes, an old black t-shirt and some loosely fitting jeans.

Well, they were baggy on him as he was a smaller size than myself.

Throughout the night we even managed to make him smile on a few occasions.

Spaghetti Bolognese was the food for the night, and of course I was not complaining. I always had a soft spot for Gramp's cooking.

Sadly though Ash didn't eat much, he just toyed with it most of the night, taking bites every now and then. Of course neither Gramp's or I pushed the subject, we just accepted that he would eat when he was hungry and left it at that.

When all the washing up was done and it was getting late Gramp's had left to go to bed early and Ash and I stayed downstairs in the kitchen.

"Man... it has been so long since I ate home made Spaghetti Bolognese," I rambled, putting the last plate back in the cupboard.

Ash didn't respond, he just stood by one of the counters, aimlessly gazing out the window.

Surprisingly all those horrible black clouds had gone and the sky was crystal clear, sprinkled with stars.

Ash seemed to be taking interest in them, more so than my terrible attempt at small talk.

"At least it isn't raining any more," I commented, walking over to him.

He nodded weakly as he continued staring outside.

"Yeah... it completely ruined your hair,"

I frowned, knowing how rain was my number one enemy.

I swear I will create something, some kind of hairspray or gel that is water resistant, even if it is the last thing I do!

"Yes, the rain and I have unfinished business to attend to," I growled, clenching my hand into a fist and pretending to be angry at something that was non existent.

Ash's dark eyes turned to face me and he smiled, it was a small smile but a smile nonetheless.

That was some progress, at least my stupid personality was doing it's job.

"Are you tired at all?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"No... there is too much going on in my head to sleep right now,"

Yeah, I understood that completely. When my Mom left I couldn't sleep properly for weeks, maybe that would be the same for him.

"Well... it is getting late, maybe we should just go upstairs and chill or something?" I proposed, trying to get some kind of reaction out of him.

Today he had just been vacant, emotionless and a little distant. It had also seemed like years since I had kissed him.

"No..." He murmured.

"Why?"

"I want to stay here..."

I frowned.

Why would he want to stay in the kitchen? There wasn't any entertainment in here, and there certainly wasn't anywhere he could relax and unwind on in here.

"Why? It's boring in here," I commented, sighing as I relaxed on the counter beside him.

He nodded;

"Boring is good right now,"

I combed my fingers through my now fluffy hair, God damn that rain!

What did that mean? Did he want to be left on his own? Was that it?

I got up from the counter and turned to face him once more;

"Okay then... I'll be in my room if you need me,"

As I was about to walk off I felt small hands latch onto my arm.

"No! Please... don't... don't leave,"

I paused, feeling the desperation from his touch, hearing the pleading of his voice, I could not resist.

I bowed my head a little, tired of this, tired of today. I just wanted to sleep and forget today ever even happened.

"Then stop pushing me away..." I remarked, not thinking before I said those words.

Of course he wasn't meaning to be so cold towards me, after today it was only natural to be a little out of character. But still, I was beginning to feel like I wasn't doing a good enough job of trying to make him happy.

He was still miserable even when he was with me.

His hands pulled me closer to him until I felt his head buried into my back.

"I'm sorry... Gary,"

Sighing I knew I couldn't have a go at him.

He was so vulnerable right now and I needed to be strong for him, for both of us.

"It's okay,"

Then I felt his hands slither around my waist before wrapping around me tightly.

His body was pressed flushed up against my back as his nose gently nuzzled my spine.

Was this his way of being sorry?

As he nuzzled my back I felt my heart start to somersault in my chest.

He was so very precious to me, and I just wanted the old Ash back, the Ash I knew and loved.

"Gary?" His voice entered my ears, making me swallow hard.

"Yes?"

Ash's hands then started to wonder from my waist underneath my t-shirt, gently rubbing my chest.

My eyes widened as my body tensed.

What was going on?

"Please... make me forget," He pleaded, those hands of his continuing to caress the bare skin of my chest, across my stomach muscles slowly, desperately.

I was frightened that my voice would fail on me after what he had just suggested.

Make him forget? Was that even possible?

"Forget?" I repeated.

He nodded into my back.

"Make me forget... everything,"

I could feel my hands begin to clam up with sweat as he continued to gently stroke my stomach muscles, slowly moving my t-shirt further up my body as he nuzzled my back.

I swallowed hard.

"Are... you sure?"

Again he nodded.

I squirmed out of his grasp to turn and face him.

Those brown eyes, although they had lost some of that sparkle I did see a glimmer of hope in them. They pleaded to me, wanting me to erase all the pain, all the heartache that contaminated his body.

Our eyes remained locked for what seemed like an eternity before I reached out to gently stroke his cheek.

The last thing I wanted was to take advantage, he needed to be 100% sure of this.

"I don't want to remember any more..." He murmured, leaning into my touch.

"Then I'll help you to forget," I almost whispered, moving forward towards the raven haired boy until our lips touched.

His lips were soft like velvet and trembled when they melted into mine. If this was what it took to help Ash forget then I would do it, definitely.

I wanted him to be happy, that was all.

As our lips broke apart briefly and our eyes locked together, I felt his hand slip into my own and his fingers intertwine.

He nodded weakly and then without words both Ash and I left the kitchen.

As we headed up the stairs to my room I wondered if I would be able to take his pain away, if the act we would commit would be enough to ease his pain and torment and bring back the old Ash we all knew.

The only thing I wanted him to always know was that he would never be alone, he would always have me no matter what.


	19. Tell Me Why Are You Leaving?

My eyes flickered open only to witness that it was still so incredibly dark all around me. I could hardly see my hand in front of my face so I assumed it was still night time.

Yawning loudly I stretched out my limbs, subconsciously feeling my way around the bed. I paused suddenly, now fully realising that Gary was not beside me. The space was cold so he had been gone for some time. Sighing I rubbed my forehead, trying to awaken properly.

I knew Gary was a light sleeper but seriously? This is beyond a joke, it's not even morning. Unless, he has just gone to the bathroom. But, if he did then he would be back by now. right?

Grumbling apparent nonsense to myself I sat upright, feeling a cold rush wash over me.

Yeah, putting some clothes on might be a good idea, I don't particularly like the thought of being caught naked by Professor Oak.

Trying my best to see in the dim light I felt around the floor for my clothes. I knew they were here, after all, the floor was the only place they could be. I should remember that.

Eventually I found my clothes and hastily put them on, feeling the benefits of not being freezing cold.

Standing up slowly I tried not to fall into any objects or create loud noises, after all the rest of the house was sound asleep.

Now if I were Gary where would I be hiding? That's the trouble... I'm not Gary, and he is so unpredictable at times so it's useless to try to think of places he would be. I'll just search everywhere, it can't be that difficult.

Combing my fingers through my messy raven hair I yawned once again.

I was so not used to being awake this early, but with Gary not here I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep anyway.

Slowly I manoeuvred around the bed as not to injure myself in the process and headed out the door to try to discover his whereabouts.

Slowly I walked down the stairs trying not to tread on that one creaky step that sounded like it would just give way underneath my weight. It was difficult though as it was pitch black so trying to avoid it would merely be by chance and not strategy.

Once I had cleared the stairs I headed into the living room, only to find that it was devoid of any human activity.

Okay so he was not here.

Next place to search would be the kitchen so carefully I made my way through the living room towards my next destination.

It was dark in here too but one thing gave it away.

If Gary was trying to be inconspicuous then he should really learn not to breathe so heavily. It kind of gave his position away all too easily.

I walked towards the sink, where a tall silhouette was leant over somewhat distressed.

Squinting I tried to see if it actually was Gary and why on Earth he was leant over the sink, did he feel sick or something?

"Gary?" I mumbled, trying to depict any kind of facial expression through the terrible lighting conditions.

The only saving grace was the moonlight that shone from a gap in the curtain directly onto a small portion of his face. He reluctantly turned to face me, already making me feel uneasy.

I still had yet to question why he was here and not curled up in bed with me.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" He questioned, his voice laced with a cold undertone that made me shiver suddenly. Rubbing my naked arms briskly I shrugged.

"I woke up and you wasn't there so... I got up to look for you,"

Gary snorted at my comment and returned to gazing out the window, hands gripping the sink for dear life.

"Just go back to sleep Ash, it's nothing to worry over,"

I didn't like how he was talking to me, it was as if he was trying to hide something from me or something was on his mind.

"Gary I know you're a light sleeper, but this is something else. Are you sure you're okay?"

I watched as his head bowed slightly at my question and I just felt this uncontrollable urge to cuddle him right now. Regardless of how he was feeling I wanted to make everything better. He shouldn't be suffering as much as I was, after all his Mother was still alive, somewhere.

"Yes, now go to bed," He spat, making my eyes widen at his words.

Why was he insisting I go back to sleep? I didn't want to go anywhere without him.

"No, not until you tell me what the hell is wrong" I said defiantly, folding my arms and leaning against one of the marbled counters.

I heard him sigh and turn to face me again.

The moonlight shone onto half of his face, illuminating his concerned features. There was definitely something troubling him and he was too damn proud to come out and tell me about it.

"God, you're so stubborn, you know that?"

"I am well aware of that, but seriously... Gary you shouldn't be feeling like this. Is it something I have done?"

Well it wouldn't be the first time I've fucked up our relationship.

He shook his head.

"No, it's nothing you have done. It's just..."

He paused, as if trying to think of the right words to say.

"It's just... I hate knowing that you're hurt and I can't help you in anyway. I mean... even last night when you asked me to make all your pain and misery go away... it just felt like not even I could manage it, that no-one can replace that empty spot in your heart"

Those words really hit me, and it was all so true.

I did ask Gary to take my pain away and for a certain amount of time he did, whilst lost in the throws of passion nothing negative surfaced in my mind. When it was all over my mind started to dwell on things and the sadness returned.

It wasn't because of Gary, it was my own self inflicted misery.

"Gary... you do help me, you have helped me so much through this. I guess...it will take some time to sink in and I am sorry if I have made you feel like this..."

"No... you haven't," Gary butted in, sighing a little under his breath.

Looking away, suddenly feeling very shy I mumbled;

"Last night... really helped though..."

And it really did.

It was nice to feel loved by someone when your whole world is tearing at the seams but you still have that one important piece holding you all together when you need it most. I was forever grateful for that.

Gary shook his head, looking away momentarily.

"It didn't feel like it to me, it felt... forced, like it wasn't spontaneous or anything and I guess that's why I feel as rotten as I do now. I know you asked me to, but it was like you were forcing yourself to do it to forget, and it just didn't feel right to me"

Now it was starting to make sense.

Frowning to myself I completely understood where Gary was coming from.

I guess I did come across that way and I did want him to make me forget about everything, but I had no idea it seemed forced.

That was one thing I never wanted.

"And is this why you couldn't sleep?" I asked, moving a little closer to the emerald eyed boy.

He weakly nodded, turning away again as he leant over the sink.

Now I started to feel even worse, if it wasn't bad enough that I was grieving about my Mom it was now intensified by the fact I had made Gary feel bad in the process.

"I know it's stupid... and I guess you wouldn't think stuff like that affects me. After all, since when have I ever opened up to anyone and been honest about my feelings? It's just not like me, right? But... I just can't help it when I am with you..."

As the blanket of darkness was starting to lift from around us I neared the taller boy and wrapped my arms around his waist.

Nuzzling into his back it was now I realised that he wasn't wearing a shirt, he had come down stairs topless, obviously not caring if Professor Oak saw.

I just held him, hoping that he was starting to feel a little better after confessing everything to me.

Closing my eyes I inhaled deeply, loving his natural body scent that wafted around us like a gentle breeze. It was soothing and comforting to me.

"It's okay to be upset sometimes you know, you can't be strong all the time," I told him, knowing that it was just his nature to put on this mask to hide behind.

The mask that never allowed his true self to shine.

"I just... want to be able to help you,"

"You do help me, you're helping me right now," I said quietly, loving the warmth his body emitted.

It was strange, when I was with Gary every other problem in my life just seemed to melt away. It was only when he was absent would my mind go into overdrive and force me to think of unpleasant things.

His body relaxed against my touch and I just breathed in the atmosphere of having him in my arms for a little bit longer.

Almost in a whisper I cooed;

"Come back to bed,"

My arms loosened around his tall frame as Gary spun on his heels to face me.

It was now I saw a broken look in his eyes, a look that I knew too well. I was feeling exactly the same only a few hours previous, when I was given the terrible news about my Mom.

Why was he feeling so down as well?

"I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway"

That was his excuse as his eyes flickered away from looking directly at me.

Was my happiness really that important to him?

"Gary... please don't feel down about this. It wasn't your fault that my Mom died..."

"No I know that, it's just I can see that empty place in your heart where she used to be and... nothing I do will ever fix that. You will always feel sad, you will always grieve for her and nothing I do will be good enough,"

I frowned.

Of course a small part of me had died along with her, but the majority of my sanity was restored thanks to having Gary in my life as a constant reminder for why I was living. I was now living for him and that was a good enough reason as any.

I reached out and held his hand.

"Gary... you do not need to replace my Mom because no-one can ever do that. You just need to be you, your stupid egotistical arrogant self because if you're not then it just isn't you,"

I heard him chuckle as he squeezed my hand softly.

I really hoped some of this was sinking into his thick skull.

"Yeah, you're right for once," He scoffed, smiling awkwardly.

I nodded, liking the fact that Gary had actually praised me.

"Of course I am! Your personality is rubbing off on me,"

Again he laughed and gave me a small kiss on my forehead.

As he let go of my hand I heard him sigh.

"Come on then... we may as well try to get back to sleep. Tomorrow is a hectic day after all,"

I blinked, wondering what was so hectic.

Did he maybe have plans?

"What's happening tomorrow?" I asked, looking into those beautiful emerald eyes of his.

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly as he foretold tomorrows events.

"I was going to go to yours and collect some clothes and Mr Mime to bring back here so you can stay longer. I kind of thought you wouldn't want to go home any time soon after all,"

I nodded, eternally grateful that he seemed to be a mind reader and knew exactly what was the best course of action for me.

"I should tell Brock and Misty too..." I mumbled, realising that they needed to know about my Mom's death.

They were both close to her and so needed to be told so they could help out with funeral arrangements and such.

Yeah... the funeral... how would I cope?

"Yeah, that is probably a good idea. I know how close they were to her,"

Again I nodded, swallowing a lump that had congealed in my throat.

Just thinking of their expressions was creating a hurricane of emotions welling up inside me and I prayed that I wouldn't cry again.

I was all cried out.

"If you don't feel up to planning the funeral though then leave it to me, after all, I don't want you getting more upset over it," Gary soothed, gently brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes.

Without thinking I just leant against his chest, trying to keep strong, to not cry any more. I needed him to be my rock right now.

His arms wrapped around my frame, not letting go.

"You don't have to do that..." I muttered weakly, feeling my energy start to drain out of my body as I literally clung to him for dear life.

I didn't want to imagine Mom lying there in a coffin, devoid of life and just as beautiful in death. That image would haunt me for eternity if I ever saw it.

"I want to..." He soothed, gently kissing the top of my head as we embraced in the kitchen, out bodies subtly outlined by moonshine that peeked through the curtains.

I sighed deeply, once again feeling the need to be loved again but I knew it was unfair.

Gary already felt rotten about last night as it was.

"Thank you," I murmured quietly, closing my eyes as I nuzzled into his chest.

"All I want is for you to smile again, to be your old stupid loser self so I can tease you again. You look so cute when you're angry," Gary mused out loud, knowing that his words would have some sort of effect on me.

He was probably hoping I would punch him for it or something but no, I had other plans.

I raised my head, looking directly into his eyes as time seemed to just stop altogether. We stayed like that for some time before I neared my face to his, longing to be loved once again.

As my lips gently collided with his I felt him inhale sharply, as if he was surprised by my advances. Then again I surprised myself, but it was what I wanted.

I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him deeper into my kiss, a kiss that meant everything to me. I wanted him to know that I loved him without saying it, I wanted him to not have to worry about me and my own feelings.

He didn't deserve all my shit along with his own.

Our feet seemed to start a dance of their own as our bodies clumsily stumbled around the kitchen until I smacked my back off one of the marbled counters, coming to a stand still.

A searing pain shot through me for a few moments but soon fizzled into nothing as Gary continued kissing me like I had never been kissed before. His hands held my waist firmly, keeping my body still as our lips collided repeatedly in a crash of angry passion.

Now this was what love was to me, no consequences and no worries, just pure and simple.

As my body shifted closer to the emerald eyed boy I felt my mouth being parted by his dominant tongue, forcing it's way inside my mouth causing small whimpers to escape my lips.

Christ I didn't want to full on scream like a pansy in the kitchen and have Professor Oak find out about our naughty sessions, but right now I didn't care.

Just this moment, just us being together was enough.

"Aahhhh..." I moaned softly into his mouth, already feeling myself begin to harden considerably given the compromising position.

His mouth latched onto my bottom lip and started to suckle softly, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot along my spine.

Jesus... I wasn't expecting this but I wasn't complaining. I did long for him to take my pain and anguish away and this was by far the best method we have used so far.

"Ash..." He whispered as our lips continued to longingly brush against each other, eyes half lidded in sheer lust.

I breathed heavily, feeling my erection through my jeans, already causing a small tent.

"Yes?"

"I will always love you, you know that?"

His lips left mine as our eyes locked together, his emerald orbs sparkling in the dim light.

And he really meant it too, I could tell.

It made my heart begin to flutter like a caged Butterfree and I could feel myself start to melt.

Gary wasn't the sort of person to get all emotional over anyone, let alone me. I guess it was taking time to get used to.

"I love you too, always," I murmured back, gently combing my fingers through his mass of wild hair.

He smiled and rubbed his nose against mine, a subtle gesture to prove that everything he had said to me was 100% true.

Even though this scene was incredibly cute and reminded me of things you see in the films my erection wasn't too keen on it, it longed for more attention and friction which I wasn't getting right now.

Wrapping my arms around his neck once again I pulled the taller boy into a deep kiss, slowly moving away from the marbled counter and subconsciously dragging him into the living room.

There was an adequate sofa we could inhabit for a while so it seemed like a good plan.

As we clumsily stumbled into the living room my legs hit the back of the sofa and my body came crashing down onto it's form, Gary following suit.

Not that I minded, of course I didn't. Having a half naked Gary on top of me? Why on Earth would I be complaining?

His hands started to tug at my t-shirt, obviously wanting to get rid of the unwanted garment as our breathing started to become heavy once again.

Of course in the back of my mind a small niggle of thought kept returning, what would we do if the Professor came downstairs and found us like this? But to tell the truth right now I really didn't care, I just wanted this, I wanted to feel alive and happy again and he was the best person for the job.

I assumed it was morning when I woke up as beams of sunlight were shining directly on my face and woke me up, which immediately put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

One thing I hated was being woken up, whether it be by mother nature of anyone else. I needed my beauty sleep after all.

As I struggled into a sitting position I noticed Gary was missing again, along with his once discarded jeans and underwear that were on the floor.

I sighed again, just hoping that once I could wake up and he would be there with me, why was he constantly an early bird?

Change the habit of a lifetime Gary.

I stretched out my libs, wondering if Professor Oak was still in bed or if he woken up and seen me in all my glory. I really hoped it was the first thing I said.

I reached out to grab my boxers that were lying on the carpet and quickly put them back on, manoeuvring them over my morning wood, along with my jeans and my t-shirt. The creases in my t-shirt would be a bitch to get out, I never realised that we were so rough.

I felt my face heat up as images of our antics reappeared in my head, causing me to smile.

God, even though it was the most unromantic way that we have ever had sex it was still the best remedy for a broken heart.

I yawned, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as my ears started to detect a faint voice in the kitchen.

I knew that voice anywhere, it was Gary but who was he talking to? Was he on the phone?

"Oh I see... that's terrible! Well... I can't come back right now, I have some... issues to take care of, can you guys take care of it for a few more days?" I heard him speak.

Blinking curiously I wondered what the hell he was talking about.

Issues to take care of? What issues exactly? And another thing where the hell was he planning on going?

"Yes, well just give them lots of rest and food and they should be fine for a few days until I can get back to treat them properly," He answered, his voice laced with worry.

So whatever was going on was quite serious and it obviously must be linked to his research back in Sinnoh.

Maybe they needed him urgently and he was putting it off to spare my feelings?

I frowned, folding my arms across my chest as I continued to listen in on the conversation.

"I swear there are some terrible people in the world... yeah but don't panic and just try to keep them stable until I come back. I should be back by the end of the week..."

My eyes widened as those words rung in my ear canal repeatedly.

'I should be back by the end of the week...'

So he was leaving! And he didn't even tell me about it!

That was it, I needed to talk to him about this so in annoyance I stood up and made my way into the kitchen.

I saw his tall body leant against one of the marbled counters, holding the receiver close to his ear. Amazingly he was now wearing a shirt, he must have gotten changed whilst I was asleep.

His eyes flickered across to mine for a second before he gave me a small smile.

Yeah I heard the whole damn conversation Gary, so don't try any of your excuses because they won't work on me!

"Alright then, just do your best and if you have any more problems just ring me okay? Alright then... bye,"

And he hung up.

I had a feeling my face was contorting into a frown by Gary's reaction.

Now he must have been aware that I heard everything.

"Ah, so you finally woke up, huh?" He joked, smiling.

This was no time for pleasantries, not on my watch.

"So you are leaving after all..." I remarked coldly, folding my arms as I just stared at the emerald eyed boy.

I watched as he sighed and placed the phone down on the counter.

"There is an emergency back over in the lab, apparently a group of injured Shinx have been brought there and are not holding up too well. The aides are not sure of what to do and want me to come back to oversee everything,"

"And are you?"

My eyes diverted away, finding it harder to just look at him.

He promised me that he wasn't going anywhere, that he would always be here for me and I really needed that. If he was going back to Sinnoh I would be left with no-one again.

Gary sighed again and placed a hand to his head.

"I... don't know. I don't want to leave you, but..."

"But your job is more important, I get it..." I finished off his words before he had the chance to.

Emerald eyes widened at how cold my voice had become.

He shook his head.

"No Ash, it's not that at all"

"Then what is it? Why can't they just sort it out, why do they have to bother you about it..." I whined, feeling rather selfish right now.

I knew it was wrong and after all if there were injured Pokemon on the agenda then I should have been more sympathetic but I just couldn't. He had no idea how much I relied on him for support.

The taller boy walked slowly over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

My body tensed immediately as he tried to talk things through with me.

"Ash... if I have to go back... then come with me,"

I raised my eyes to his and saw in his expression that he was deadly serious.

He wanted me to go back to Sinnoh with him?

I struggled to find suitable words to say so instead I stayed mute, hoping he would continue talking.

"You said yourself that you wanted to go back to Sinnoh and continue collecting your badges, then why don't you come back with me? After the funeral we could leave and start a new life over there..."

As much as I loved this idea I felt rotten about leaving my home town and all the memories that linked me to this place.

This was the only place I had fond memories of my Mom and if I left would they all be erased forever?

I swallowed hard, feeling his hand gently squeeze my shoulder.

"You... serious?" I struggled to ask, knowing that he wouldn't joke about something like this.

He really wanted to start a new life with me, to be a proper couple and to not let me go.

"Of course I am, you could help me out at the lab too if you wanted. After all... you are great with Pokemon,"

That was it, I just needed a cuddle and I did.

I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head against his chest, loving how he thought of this idea first and not the other way around.

It was so hard to believe though, Gary wanted me to help him, wanted me in his life for a long time. The thought made me smile.

"When are you planning on leaving?" I asked, hoping it wasn't too soon.

Misty and Brock probably wouldn't be too thrilled at the idea of me leaving so soon after Mom's death. It would probably seem like I was running away from all my problems, when in a way they were right.

I didn't want to be reminded of her death day after day.

"The day of the funeral... once it is all over I was going to leave,"

I closed my eyes, knowing that if I refused to accompany him then the likeliness of me seeing him again was very slim.

Did I really want to abandon my Mom on the day of her funeral just so I could try to move on with my life? It was such a hard decision, and one that I could not just make right now.

"I... need to think about it," I murmured, snuggling against him.

Gary nodded, understanding my position.

Of course I should really speak to my friends about this too, if they supported the idea then I would most likely go ahead with it but, I didn't really want Misty nagging me constantly.

She hated Gary already without adding to the pile of things she detested him for.

I raised my head and forced a smile, hoping that he wouldn't know how hard this decision was for me to come to terms with.

"Anyway, I was going to head off to yours to pick up your things... do you want to stay here?" Gary asked me, looking directly into my eyes.

I nodded, not believing I had enough courage to face going into my home. It would take a while before I would even be able to step foot across the threshold ever again without being constantly reminded of my Mom.

"I'll pick Mr Mime up too.. it's unfair for him to be in the house by himself,"

That was true, and a part of me wondered if he was aware of my Mom's death or if he stayed blissfully unaware. I didn't want to be the one to tell him the bad news, it hurt the first time round let alone retelling the tale of events.

Gary planted a small kiss on my nose and smiled;

"You should phone your friends or something, they deserve to know about what happened,"

"I know..." I mumbled, not liking the idea.

I didn't really want them fussing over nothing, yes I was upset about it and I would be for a long time but I could handle it.

Brock didn't really fuss over me, it was Misty who was the worry wart of the group. We were such good friends and I guess somewhere deep down she still cared for me a lot, like in a sisterly way.

I forced a smile as Gary released me from his embrace.

"I won't be too long," He promised as I watched his tall figure leave the room.

Suddenly I was starting to feel very alone, like no-one else was in the house.

I didn't like it one bit so immediately I considered phoning Misty.

She was easier to get in touch with, after all, her mobile phone never left her hand these days. Brock was a breeder now so he would be a bit harder to get in touch with.

I sighed as I picked up the receiver, going over time and time again what I actually would say to her.

Would I tell her literally everything? Including the idea of leaving with Gary? I knew she wouldn't approve, she never approved of him, but still it was worth a shot.

I dialled her number and held the receiver close to my ear.

It took a few moments of ringing before she picked up, seemingly out of breath.

"Hello?"

"Hey Misty, it's me," I said lamely, wanting to hit myself for starting up the conversation so awfully.

If she didn't know my voice then 'me' could be anyone.

"Oh Ash! How are you keeping! It's been a while since we last spoke,"

I nodded, leaning against the counter.

Seemed like she was still unaware of Mom's death but I didn't really want to be a conversation killer within a matter of seconds.

"I know yeah, I'm alright. How is everything with you?"

Her voice was so incredibly loud and jovial, it just proved how happy she was to hear off me.

"Yeah, it's alright. You know... I met up with Brock the other day and we went out to that coffee shop we all used to go to when we were kids. It just didn't feel right because you wasn't there..." She trailed off and I smiled.

"How is Brock these days?"

"Oh the usual... still chasing after unattainable girls, but he loves his job as a breeder. We all need to meet up real soon Ash!"

I cringed knowing exactly when the next time we would all meet up and the circumstances wouldn't be favourable.

"Yeah... I do have some news to tell you..." I murmured, now deciding this was the best time to tell her about the death.

I knew it would totally kill the mood of the conversation but I needed her to know, after all, my friends all got along with my Mom.

"Sure, what is it Ash?"

I bit my bottom lip as my free hand gripped the marbled counter firmly.

"Well... the thing is.. yesterday I went to the hospital to see Mom... and..."

I swallowed hard, not wanting to cry all over again, but the memories kept returning, memories of seeing her so deathly still in that bed, seeing her skin so transparent and lifeless.

"Is she getting better?" Misty enquired curiously and slowly I shook my head, realising that she could not see my actions through the phone.

"No... she..."

I paused, biting my lip harder as I looked at the ceiling, trying to fight off the urge to cry.

"Ash? What happened?"

"She... she died..."

That was it, I couldn't help it.

A single tear escaped my eyes and trickled down my face as my heart started to slowly tear in two.

Misty was quiet for some time on the phone, as if she too was just as upset as I was.

"Oh God... oh Ash... I am so sorry,"

"It's alright Misty... she just... couldn't fight any more..."

She gave up, she lost the fight and the illness had taken her away from me.

Closing my eyes tightly I felt a lump congeal in my throat as my stomach tightened.

I was trying so hard not to break down.

"That's terrible... I thought she was going to get better,"

"We all did Misty... it was just... so soon," I wiped my face, sniffling slightly, trying not to let on that I was crying. I didn't want to panic the red head any more.

"How are you coping with this? Do you want me to come round? I mean I will if you need me to, I don't mind,"

I smiled, loving how she would so willingly drop all her plans just to ensure I was okay and coping. That was just the sort of person Misty was.

"I am fine... I'm stopping at Gary's for the time being, until I can get my head around what's happened,"

"...he isn't being a dick to you is he?" She asked, her voice sounding threatening on the other end of the phone.

I chuckled.

No, in fact ever since she had smacked him good he hadn't done anything of the sort but still, their little spats were kind of comical at times.

"No, in fact he has really helped me through this. He even offered to organise the funeral for me if I didn't feel up to it,"

"Wow... hard to imagine Gary being so considerate..." She murmured, making me smile wildly.

It was true, Gary wasn't renowned for being nice to people, but I guess he only let me see that side of him, and I loved it.

"I was going to ask if you and Brock wanted to come to the funeral and stuff..." I mumbled, not liking how it sounded.

"Of course we will! And if you need us at all then just ring me, or Brock. We don't mind helping out with arrangements,"

It was so sweet that everyone seemed to pull through when times were hard. They all wanted to do there bit for me and for my Mom, even if that just meant offering support and comfort through this terrible time.

"I know, and I'll remember it,"

It was now I wondered if it was the best time to tell Misty of my plans to elope with Gary after the funeral.

She would most likely object to the idea but still, it felt wrong to keep this from her.

"Oh Misty...there's something else you need to know too,"

"What's that?"

I sighed, trying to think of the right words to say.

"Gary is leaving after the funeral, he is going back to Sinnoh to continue with his work in the laboratory..."

There was an uncomfortable silence on the other end of the phone before she spoke;

"He's leaving you?! Oh my God... I knew it! I knew it... that son of a..."

"Misty wait! I haven't finished yet!"

Again another pause before I decided to continue the story.

"He suggested that I go with him... back to Sinnoh,"

"What?! Are you being serious?"

I frowned, knowing that this was the reaction I would get, of course my friends wouldn't support the idea of me going back to Sinnoh, they would never get to see me as often.

But still, I doubted the likeliness of me being able to live in Pallet town.

"Yes, I am..."

"But... he can't seriously expect you to say yes, can he? Your Mom has just died! You need time to grieve, not go gallivanting around Sinnoh with him! God, doesn't he give a shit about what you want?!"

Now I was starting to feel sad again.

The thought of staying here, living without Gary was too horrible to bear, but if I refused would Gary still go anyway and not care about me? Would he still decide to go back even if I couldn't go with him?

"Misty... please..." I pleaded, hoping to calm down the red head.

"I'm sorry Ash, but seriously. How can he spring this kind of thing on you so soon?! It's just unfair!"

What would be even worse would be if I told her that this was planned on the day of the funeral. That would really put the tin lid on things.

"He is leaving after the funeral..."

I wished I had never said that because what came after that was a hurricane.

The enraged red head literally screamed down the phone;

"WHAT?! Oh my God, this just gets better! And you were going to go with him too?!"

Now I felt bad, she was right, how could I leave my Mom on the day of the funeral? It was so unlike me, and it was so wrong.

"I was... I don't know..." I mumbled, feeling so very pathetic right now.

"Ash..." Misty said quietly, her voice returning to a calmer level. "...If you refuse and want to stay here, will he still go back?"

I shrugged, hoping that he would choose me over his job, but I doubted that possibility.

"I don't know..."

I heard her sigh heavily.

"This is a mess... well, if you want I could talk to him for you,"

I cringed, knowing what happened the last time she 'spoke' to him, it really wasn't speaking, more like punching.

"Do you think that is a good idea with your temper?"

"Ash I promise I wouldn't rant and rave at him okay? I would just talk to him,"

I thought about the idea, I really did but would that really change anything? If Gary had to go back then nothing anyone would say would change it. He would still return back to Sinnoh, with or without me.

"Well... if you want to, but I don't want you screwing at him any more, okay?"

"I swear I won't, I just think he needs to know what this is doing to you. It probably hasn't even sunk into his stupid thick skull..."

I smiled weakly, feeling that this conversation had come to a close now.

Even though I didn't want to hang up a part of me just wanted to be alone for a while, to let things sink in.

"Thanks Misty..."

"You are very welcome Ash, I will come a visit you tomorrow some time to make sure you are okay. I think you need some time away from all this,"

I nodded, liking that idea.

Going out for a while to forget everything might not be such a bad idea.

"Yeah, that sounds great!"

"Tell you what, I'll pick you up and we can go grab a coffee and some lunch around twelve and then you can decide where we go after that, sound okay?"

I smiled, it had been so long since I had done that, gone out with Misty and had a long talk about things. I really needed that.

"Yeah, that sounds fine. I'll see you tomorrow then,"

"Yes you will, take care Ash and remember if you need me for anything then just ring me,"

I nodded, rolling my eyes at how much she worried over me.

I could take care of myself but it was nice to have that option.

"I will, goodbye,"

"Bye Ash,"

And with that the conversation ended.

The day dragged on like every minute was an hour and every hour was a day.

I had no idea why but things just seemed to last forever.

Gary seemed to take ages to get back here with my stuff and Mr Mime in tow. He had decided to tell the psychic type about Mom's death and ever since he found out he wouldn't stop wailing over it. It was understandable, they were really close after all.

I made a decision to not talk to Gary about his idea of moving to Sinnoh until Misty had spoke to him about it. We just carried on like it was a normal day, helping out with the Pokemon in the laboratory.

Pikachu and Eevee seemed to be getting closer than ever and it made me smile to witness. It was nice that they got along so well.

Luckily for me whilst I was busy helping out with the Pokemon my mind was focused on the job at hand and not dwelling on the memories that hurt.

I actually enjoyed it, and maybe if I did go with Gary back to Sinnoh I would enjoy it there too.

"You seem a little happier than you was earlier," Gary noted, as he grabbed the large sack from my hands and started feeding a couple of Nidoran's.

"Yeah.. I guess I am,"

"Did you speak you your friends?" Gary enquired, kneeling down as the Nidoran hungrily ate the food pellets.

I just watched the scene as we spoke.

"Yeah, I spoke to Misty. She suggested meeting up tomorrow for coffee and lunch,"

Gary paused and looked at me, a large smile smothering those perfect features.

"That might not be such a bad idea, it might do you good to get out," I nodded, actually looking forward to spending time with her.

Even though I was well aware of her feelings towards me she never acted on them or ever said anything, she was just supportive and caring as always.

"She also wants to talk to you," I added in, watching as he almost dropped the sack of pellets on the ground.

"Me? Why me? Last time she wanted to talk I am pretty sure she didn't do much of that,"

I smiled, trying not to laugh.

"She promised me this time she wouldn't hit you,"

Gary stood up, brushing the grass off his jeans as he turned to face me, sack in tow.

"Why does she want to talk with me anyway? It's not like we are the greatest of friends, is it?"

I shrugged, not wanting to give away the reason.

"Just talk to her Gary, you never know you might come to an understanding,"

He chuckled at my words.

"Yeah, and I will suddenly become straight..."

I rolled my eyes as he walked past me back inside the house to put away the food pellets.

He didn't have to be so sarcastic. Maybe after all this Misty and Gary could just be civil to each other, it wasn't so hard to think of. If they just mellowed a little then things would work out.

I followed Gary inside to the kitchen and watched as the taller boy washed his hands in the sink.

"You thought any more about what you want for the funeral?" He asked, making me look away.

It hadn't crossed my mind but I knew that I really should be coming up with some ideas, I couldn't let everyone else decide, that was unfair.

"Well... not really, but I'll think about it tomorrow,"

He nodded and started to dry his hands on a baby blue towel.

"Yeah... and have you thought any more about moving to Sinnoh with me?"

Our eyes locked and I swallowed hard.

Yes I had, and the more I thought about it the more I was inclined to say no, but I was afraid. If I said no would he leave anyway?

"A little..." I murmured, looking away briefly.

"You don't have to decide yet you know, I understand that it's a big decision,"

Too right it is Gary.

I sighed, a part of me wanting to elope while the other wanted to stay here with the memories of Mom.

"Gary..." I mumbled weakly.

"What is it?"

I fidgeted on the spot, trying to think of what to say without it sounding too pathetic.

"If I said no... would you still leave?"

There was a pause as the emerald eyed boy turned away from me. His head bowed slightly.

"You can't ask me stuff like that Ash,"

"But I want to know, if I refused and wanted to stay here would you stay here with me?"

Those emerald eyes flickered across to me as an awkward smile smothered those features.

"I want us to start all over again, a new life, just me and you. I thought you would want the same..."

And with that he left the room leaving me standing there to wallow in my own self doubt.

I frowned, clenching my hands into fists.

Leaving... was that really the only choice in this? If I said no he would still leave and I would be left all alone again.

Closing my eyes tightly I tried to drown out the sound of my inner voice, screaming at me.

Screaming to do the right thing, whether that be to stay here or leave with Gary.

But tell me why are you leaving, when there's no place to go? Tell me why are you leaving for the things that you know? If you leave what's the answer? You want me to change my mind, to take some time because I know that you'll be there.


	20. Keep The Flame

I literally watched the ice cubes melt in my drink as I just stared into nothingness.

I was meant to be enjoying myself, a day out with my oldest and closest friend yet all I could think about was what Gary had asked of me. He wanted me to go with him back to Sinnoh to start a new life together, but even though the offer was incredibly tempting something was holding me back.

Was it all the memories that tied me to this place?

"Ash... are you feeling okay?" Misty enquired, looking at me with large azure eyes.

I quickly snapped out of my thought and gave a small nod. I didn't want to burden her any more with all my shit, she had been told enough about my problems.

"Stop thinking about him Ash, you are meant to forget all that for now and just enjoy yourself,"

I watched as the red headed girl sipped her orange juice through a straw as she continued staring at me. I sighed, now deciding to watch the activity going on inside the coffee shop. It was a small quaint shop, nothing too fancy yet we used to go here quite often when we were younger.

It held a lot of pleasant memories, that was probably the reason she bought me back.

"I know... I'm sorry," I mumbled apologetically, not wanting to be a mood killer.

I couldn't help but think about the proposition, it was either I go with him or I never see him again. It wasn't something I could easily decide. Misty sighed.

"You don't have to apologise about it, I just wish you would forget about him for just a little while. It isn't doing you any good you know,"

I nodded, agreeing with her entirely.

It was incredibly bad for my health, all this constant worrying but I just could not help it. I wished he never received that phone call telling him about his duties back in Sinnoh, I wished he never wanted to go back there and I wished he wanted to stay here with me forever.

Whilst thinking about it I could feel my chest start to tighten considerably, like I could not breathe. Closing my eyes for a moment I struggled for air, knowing that it was all his fault. As I said before it's like he is my oxygen, the only thing that keeps me alive and slowly it was being taken from me.

"Ash..." Misty soothed, reaching out to rub my arm affectionately across the table.

I swallowed hard, knowing that seeing me like this must be destroying her.

"I just.. wish he never gave me the choice..." I muttered pathetically, once again staring into my drink, watching the last remnant of my ice begin to dissolve.

Misty sighed, I could almost feel her concern radiating off every inch of the room.

"Then he would be even more of an ass hole than he already is. At least he gave you a choice, he could of given you an ultimatum instead,"

Okay she was right, I suppose that was something I could be thankful for.

Even if I refused there wouldn't be any negativity from either of us, but still the thought of living in this world without him by my side was too hard to bear. Misty continued rubbing my arm as she just stared at me, probably wishing all my troubles away.

"At the end of the day it is your decision, I know it is hard to choose between the past and the future, but you have to decide. Gary is your future, and we are all in the past and as much as I don't want to say it... you need to move on and be happy with him. You deserve that"

I now raised my eyes to hers and saw that azure colouring just sparkling with emotion.

I knew it took a lot for her to say those words to me, she despised the idea of me leaving Kanto to start a new life somewhere else, yet she managed to put all that aside for me.

"But... I feel like I am running away,"

And it really did feel that way.

My Mom was dead and when I should be more concerned about the funeral arrangements I was too wrapped up in my own stupid problems. That was the main issue for me to contend with.

"Then run away Ash, do what you have to do to be happy. If that is with Gary then... do it,"

My eyes widened as she looked away, obviously pained by the thought of not seeing me as often any more if I left.

I frowned, wishing she put up more of a fight, stood her ground with me and told me straight that there was no way I would leave with him. It just seemed like she had no energy to fight it any more.

"I... I..." I tried speaking but nothing made sense any more.

A part of me longed to stay with him, but another part was scared. I was scared of leaving all my memories and friends behind again. When I left before it was for a different reason, I was striving to become a Pokemon Master so I had a goal to aim for, now it was only for my own selfish needs.

"I am sick and tired of watching everything fall apart and not being able to do anything about it. Not any more Ash, if my support is what you need to be able to decide then you have it. I don't... want to watch you suffer any more,"

Her words were full of emotion and sadness as she took another sip from her juice, trying to hide the fact that it was actually upsetting her. I could see it in her eyes, and I could see it in her forced smile.

"Misty..." I muttered, also feeling very sad.

It was as if she could feel all my pain, all my suffering and it was channelling into her, making her just as miserable as myself. All the pain I wanted it to end, for both of us.

I reached out without thinking and grabbed her hand. Her eyes widened at my actions as I just gripped onto it for dear life. I needed her to know that I did care about her in some way.

"Thank you,"

She smiled and pulled her hand away.

"You are welcome, now enough of this depressing talk, I feel like I want to stick my head in a gas oven right now,"

We both chuckled at her comment and continued drinking our juice. Even though the words she had said were very powerful and obviously took a lot of effort for her to tell me I was grateful she did.

She supported whatever I chose, and that was a great relief.

"Yeah.. sorry about that,"

"I swear if you apologise one more time I am going to make you pay for the dinner," She threatened playfully, making me laugh once again.

It was nice to actually laugh and not want to cry constantly. It had been so long since I had felt truly happy, without a care in the world. The last time I felt that way was when I confessed to Gary about my feelings and he reciprocated them.

That was the happiest day of my life.

"I know I said no more depressing stuff but, have you decided any details about the funeral yet?"

I actually hadn't, even though I really should have. It was coming up soon but I guess the reason why I kept putting off was so I could think some more about eloping with Gary.

I just needed more time.

"No... I haven't,"

"Do you want me to help? I don't mind you know,"

I smiled weakly, happy that I had so much support during these tough days. Having someone other than Gary help arrange the funeral might actually be a good thing. I nodded.

"Yeah, you can if you like,"

"Good, then it will take some weight off your shoulders and you can concentrate on spending more time with Gary. It might help you decide after all, but seriously don't worry about me or Brock, or anyone else. Think about what you want for a change,"

Nodding I knew she was right.

Perhaps if I just stopped fretting over it so much I could actually enjoy our company for how ever long we had left.

"Yeah okay then, but isn't it a bit much for you to take on? I mean... organising a funeral is a big ask..."

"..And I wouldn't have offered if I didn't think I could manage it" She finished my sentence giving me one of those stares which made me shut up completely.

Okay, so I shouldn't doubt her capability.

I drank the remainder of my juice and just relaxed in my chair, feeling the subtle warmth of the coffee shop sink into my bones. It was so comforting.

"I'll get Brock, May and Dawn to help out too, I am sure they wouldn't mind" Misty thought out loud, twiddling the straw between her fingers.

I blinked.

Wow, so she wanted to get everyone to help? It still seemed like a big ask, what if the others were busy with things? Still I thought better to question her judgement.

"Alright then," I mumbled, smiling.

As we both sat there just smiling at each other I actually felt like I could finally see light at the end of the tunnel, that there was a way out of this mess and it wouldn't involve an unhappy ending.

Maybe I could be happy after all.

A week passed in quick succession as Misty organised everything for the funeral.

She even managed to contact everyone, Brock, May and Dawn, who were all too happy to help out. It really was endearing to know that all my friends put together to make it all possible. Of course they all asked me if what they planned was suitable or not but the majority of the time it was absolutely perfect.

It was coming to the point where I was silently happy that we could all make Mom's funeral so perfect, it was what she deserved after all.

Whilst my friends were all busy deciding on the flowers for the funeral service I had taken some time out to spend with Pikachu. We had decided to find a quiet wooded area at the back of the laboratory to just chill and relax.

After all, we both needed some quiet and time to ourselves.

"I can't believe that the funeral is in a few days..." I mumbled to the small yellow mouse, who nodded in response.

I sighed, pulling my knees up to my chest as I rested my head against a tree. It was weird, time seemed to just fly past and soon it would be the day of the funeral, the day of my decision.

"Pikachu..." I muttered, watching as my companion looked at me curiously.

It was time to ask for his opinion too.

"Do you think we should stay here after the funeral, or go with Gary?"

I watched as Pikachu's eyes flickered for a moment before he frowned, obviously not liking the decision either.

"Pika... chuuu..." He whined.

I knew why he was feeling like that though, over the past couple of weeks he had become very attached to Gary's Eevee, so attached in fact they literally went everywhere together so, if I didn't go with Gary then Pikachu would have to be parted from Eevee.

"I know... but do you think it is the right choice? It just feels like I am running away from all my problems,"

"Chuuu," Was his response.

I sighed again, knowing that Pikachu would choose for us to leave so he could stay close to Eevee. It was only natural.

Closing my eyes for a moment I felt a gentle breeze tousle my hair and then dissipate into the atmosphere. My emotions were like a hurricane right now, and nothing made any sense.

I was feeling sad about saying goodbye to my Mom for the last time and perhaps saying goodbye to the best part of my life, the part that I had spent with Gary. The more I thought about it the more inclined I was to stay here.

Maybe it was because I wasn't a coward, not any more.

"Eeveeee!"

Pikachu's ears flickered as we both detected that famous call.

It was Gary's Eevee, and she was bounding over to us. If she was here then Gary would be close by too and that thought made my stomach knot violently. Having him around, pestering me for an answer wouldn't help me out right now but of course it was to be expected.

Pikachu beamed a huge smile as Eevee tackled him to the ground playfully.

I could not help but smile, it seemed the two of them were so close right now, just as happy as Gary and I was.

"I thought I would find you here," Came that oh so familiar tone that a part of me loved and hated at the same time.

I knew it was Gary and as my eyes raised towards the distance I saw his figure walking towards me, hands in his pockets.

Now this would be awkward, trying to come to a decision with him being here, how was it possible?

I watched as the taller boy sat beside me and just looked at our Pokemon companions playing in the long grass. The sight was so incredibly cute.

"Pikachu really likes Eevee..." I murmured sadly, sighing a little.

I didn't want him to be just as heartbroken as myself if I chose to stay here, it was unfair for him.

"It seems that way, but I must admit... it is kind of cute to see them playing together,"

I smiled weakly, leaning against the tree for support. My heart just felt as if parts of it were slowly dying, fading into nothingness and a numb feeling was beginning to consume me.

"I... just received another phone call," Gary muttered, turning to look up at the cloudless sky.

I watched as he sighed heavily which pushed me to ask;

"About the Shinx's?"

He nodded and bowed his head.

The news must have been bad for him to behave like this, did he have to leave sooner? I prayed not, as much as I hated the thought of Pokemon being hurt I hated the thought of Gary leaving even more.

"They really need my help back in Sinnoh... I can't put it off for much longer..."

I mentally flinched, not liking what I was hearing.

So basically even if I asked him to stay he would still go regardless. So what option did I have here?

I bit my lip and was a little reluctant to say anything.

"Have you thought any more about leaving with me? Or... do you need more time?" He questioned looking at me with those alluring emerald eyes of his.

Time, we didn't have enough of time. No amount of time would be enough right now.

I closed my eyes, trying to steady my nerves as my stomach continued to knot violently.

"I... need more time..."

"Ash..."

I knew he was upset with me with not being able to come to a decision so easily, when it probably should have been, but a part of me was holding back.

I felt his hand on my own and squeeze gently, trying to offer some form of comfort, but nothing would be good enough right now. I was being so selfish, so unlike my usual self but, I could not help it.

I didn't want to run away, I just needed support.

"What if...I wanted to stay?" I managed to utter, feeling my body start to tremble slightly as I already knew what his answer would be without him even saying it.

There was no way he would stay, not even for me.

He frowned and squeezed my hand tightly, almost frightened to let it go.

"I... can't stay here Ash... as much as I want to. I have to go back to make sure those Shinx are okay, it's my job now... I can't neglect my duties... as much as I would want to..."

And it was now my heart started to sink into a never ending pit of despair.

I felt like crying but nothing would come out of my eyes any more, I really was all cried out.

Weakly nodding I understood where I stood now and that it really was a make or break decision.

"I understand..."

"Why is it so hard for you to come to Sinnoh with me? What's keeping you here?" He asked me, looking deep into my eyes, trying to search my soul for the answers.

Well, what was keeping me here? Was I just clinging onto shreds of hope that staying here would allow Mom's memory to stay alive?

I could feel my bottom lip quiver as I struggled to speak.

"It feels... wrong. I don't want to run away from my problems Gary... and that is what it feels like. I don't want to run away from... Mom,"

Now I felt pathetic.

Gary shook his head and pulled me into an embrace.

I held onto his shirt tightly, as if it was a lifeline. Closing my eyes tightly I didn't want him to leave me.

"Your Mom would want you to be happy regardless of the circumstances, I am sure of that. And you are not running away Ash, you would be leaving with me to start a new life, with new ambitions and new dreams. Why can't you see that?"

I heard the pain in his voice as he held me close.

Yes, my Mom would want me to be happy, that was a fact but still, leaving everything behind again just for the sake of my own happiness was that really okay?

I inhaled deeply, loving his comforting warmth and feeling the gentle rise and fall of his chest. It was enough proof that he was still here, for now at least.

"You know that I love you... right?" He asked, and I nodded.

Of course I knew that and I was forever grateful for his love.

There were no words that could express how much I loved him, not even if I literally carved out my heart, nothing would be enough and slowly I could feel my insides caving in. The more I thought about my love for him the more my body was slowly tearing itself apart.

My heartbeat echoed in my ears as I fused my eyes closed, refusing to open them, refusing to fall apart like this. His fingers gently combed through my hair as I held him tighter, frightened to let go in case he just disappeared right in front of my eyes.

"I'm scared..." I muttered pathetically, feeling my body tremble.

"Scared? Of what?"

I bit my lip harder, almost drawing blood as I literally cried out;

"I am scared of losing you!"

Burying my face into his chest I felt my stomach tighten considerably and my throat burned as tears started to form in the corners of my eyes.

I really didn't want him to go...I was scared of a life without him constantly being there for me to pick up the pieces, to care and love me like he does. A life without Gary was too unbearable to deal with.

"I'm... scared too," He mumbled, making my eyes flash open immediately allowing tears to trickle down my face and dampen his shirt.

He just said he was scared too? But this is Gary! Gary is never scared of anything... so why now?

Two days past where I just felt like I was rotting from the inside out.

I had hardly eaten a thing, and I found it almost impossible to sleep peacefully through the night.

I kept waking up screaming, having these horrible nightmares of a life without Gary, a life completely broken and torn apart. Luckily for me when I woke up he would be there to calm me down, to hold me tightly and kiss away my tears. It was a reoccurring nightmare and had been for the past two days, ever since that conversation we had by the tree.

It just felt like there was literally a hole in my chest and with every beat of my heart it just hurt more and more.

And now it was the day of the dreaded funeral and the day of my decision.

I couldn't even muster the strength to put on my black suit for the occasion. All my energy just seemed to fade away every time I looked at the black trousers, the black shirt, the black waistcoat. It didn't matter what Gary did to try to make me feel better nothing seemed to work any more.

Emptiness had burrowed into my heart and left me feeling broken.

I needed my Mom... I really did.

"Ash..." Gary soothed, gently brushing aside a strand of hair from my face as he sat beside me on the bed.

I just continued to stare at the clothes hanging on the back of the bedroom door, unable to get up to put them on, completely paralysed.

"Ash... you need to get dressed, your Mom's coffin will be here in less than an hour..."

I closed my eyes, not wanting to hear any more.

I did not want to see her in that horrible wooden box, eyes shut off from the world. I just wanted one more day with her, full of health. I knew however that my wish would never come true.

I felt Gary's arms coil themselves protectively around me, as if he was trying to stop me from falling apart. I sighed, leaning into his embrace, my eyes still focused on my black uniform for the day.

God this day was the worst day of my entire life.

"Ash... please..."

It wasn't as if I was trying to be difficult, I literally could not find the energy to move to get dressed.

Knowing what today had in store for me was just completely sucking the life out of me and now I just felt empty.

A loud knock at my front door alerted the emerald eyed boy.

He allowed me to wriggle free from his embrace as he left me alone in my bedroom to answer the door.

Being in solitude for too long was not going to help right now, it would just let my mind continue to dwell on the depressing subject of Mom's funeral service.

"Is Ash ready? We have to leave soon," I heard a voice downstairs, it sounded like Misty's.

I placed my head in my hands, knowing that if she found me up here moping and feeling sorry for myself she would totally kick my butt into gear.

"No... he's feeling really down at the moment..." I heard Gary making up some stupid excuse for me, not that I needed it.

"What? He isn't ready? He's got to hurry up! The car will be here real soon!" She exclaimed.

It was odd, they were actually conversing properly instead of biting each others heads off, it made a nice change. Still, it did not help me feel any better.

With every passing second I was just slipping further into the pits of despair.

"I know, I have tried telling him but... he just doesn't seem to have the energy to go..."

Well of course I didn't, I was well aware that after the service Gary would probably have to go which would not give me enough time to say my goodbyes to her properly.

That was why I felt so awful.

"Gary... I think I know why Ash feels so bad, and it might not be a 100% linked to the funeral..."

Seemed like Misty really was going to talk to him for me.

"Well what other reason could it be?"

"Are you really that dense?! Ever since you gave him that decision about leaving with you he hasn't been himself, has he?"

Closing my eyes I sighed and continued to listen in on the conversation.

There was a brief pause.

"Well... I suppose you are right, but why? I just assumed he would want to come with me..."

"Gary, if it was you in this position and Ash asked you to run away with him when your Grandfather's funeral was on the same day, would you really find it that simple?"

I cringed, knowing that those words must have really hurt.

Gary was close to his Grandfather and I wouldn't ever want him to go through what I was. It wasn't fair on him.

Another pause.

"Well... I guess I wouldn't, but I don't have a choice Misty. I can't put off my job any longer, there are a lot of problems back in the lab and if Ash doesn't leave with me then I can't just stay here, even if I wanted to,"

"That's bullshit and you know it!"

Now the arguing was commencing, typical really. Did I really expect a decent conversation?

"Misty... I am not doing this on purpose, there are really sick Pokemon back in Sinnoh and I need to get back to make sure they are going to be okay, if I neglect my duties then I am responsible for their lives"

"Everyone has a choice so don't tell me you don't. You just don't want to choose that's your problem. If your job is more important than the supposed 'love of your life' then go right ahead and leave. But, I'm telling you this Gary, I won't let you hurt Ash again so if you do leave and he is left heartbroken I will find you, and I will kill you. That is a promise,"

I could not help but crack a weak smile.

That last line reminded me of a scene in a film that I loved, when this guy wanted to get his daughter back and said that if he found whoever did it then he would kill them.

Sad thing is... I can't remember what the film was called.

"Then... persuade Ash to come with me!" Gary pleaded to the redhead.

I never expected him to literally beg to the one person he despised.

"Don't you think I haven't?! I want him to be happy Gary, and I know he would be with you, even if I'm not too keen on it. But, at the end of the day it is his decision and no matter what I say or what you say it will not change a damn thing,"

While this conversation escalated I managed to find some energy from somewhere to stand up and start to put on my black uniform.

As much as I loathed it I knew I had to and I was just wasting precious time.

"Yeah... you know, you speak a lot of sense," Gary complimented Misty, which caught me off guard.

I don't think that has ever happened.

"Of course I do, I am a girl and us girls speak a lot of sense all the time,"

There was laughter which made me smile.

Maybe they were learning to get along and perhaps it was because of me that they were doing so.

"If the circumstances were different and you didn't hate me so much I'd like to think we could have been quite good friends," Gary mused.

The red head scoffed.

"Well if I didn't hate you so much and you weren't trying to hurt my best friend then maybe... actually, no I'd still hate you,"

It was worth a try, right?

After approximately an hour I managed to get dressed in my black uniform and had mustered the courage to leave my bedroom to face what today had in store for me. I needed to be strong, it was what she would've wanted.

Gary constantly worried over me, making sure I was feeling okay which was actually kind of sweet.

After all, he wasn't the kind of person to worry over anyone and make it noticeable.

Brock, May and Dawn arrived for the funeral service just before the car drove up to the front door.

All of us, including Professor Oak stood by the car, our eyes glued to the beautiful array of flowers and especially the ones that were from myself.

It spelled out Mom and lay on top of her coffin.

The flowers were a beautiful shade of purple and pink, her favourite colours. It was all thanks to the girls really who helped organise the flowers and everything, after all, I was pretty much useless at organising things.

We also decided on having a Cremation instead of a typical burial, I didn't want to think of Mom being buried underground having worms and stuff eating at her.

It just didn't seem right.

It took a lot of courage and energy to actually get inside the black car.

I knew that as soon as we arrived and the service was over then Gary would leave and I still had not come to a decision. It was so painful to think of never seeing him again and I knew that Pikachu would be just as upset. He had grown very fond of Gary's Eevee in this short space of time.

And as Gary, Professor Oak and myself sat in the car I remained mute.

The girls and Brock were travelling in a separate car behind us just because there wasn't enough room. Misty wasn't very pleased with the idea of me being alone with Gary given my frame of mind.

That girl worries too much I swear.

"Chuuu..." Pikachu whined as he sat on my lap, his ears drooped as our long tedious journey to Lavender Town Crematorium began.

I gently patted his head sighing a little.

It was unfair that he had to witness this too, he loved Mom so much and now she wasn't here any more. Things just were not the same.

"Ash, I know this may seem a weird question, but what are your plans after the service?" Professor Oak asked me, making me look across to him.

My ideal plan would be to just continue with my life and try to move on, but I knew that would be a lot harder than I thought.

"I... don't know," I murmured, watching as Gary looked away.

A part of him must have hoped that I would go with him back to Sinnoh, but I just didn't know what I wanted.

"That is understandable, but remember Ash you can stay at the lab as long as you need to,"

I smiled, loving how kind the Professor was.

At least I had a backup plan right now, if I decided that leaving was too soon for me.

I glanced across at Gary who hadn't said a thing throughout the journey, he just snuggled Eevee in his arms, refusing to look at me.

I turned back, looking down at my yellow friend.

He too seemed sad, as if he knew what my decision would be. I didn't want to break his heart too, after all, it was the first time the little guy had gotten really attached to another Pokemon and it was extremely ironic that it was Gary's Eevee.

"Pikachu?" I asked my electric companion, who perked up at the mention of his name.

"What do you want to do after the service?"

He paused and then glanced across at Eevee, who was now asleep in Gary's arms, completely unaware of the whole scenario.

Then his ears drooped again.

"Pika... chuuu..."

I knew what he wanted, and I was just being selfish again.

I swallowed hard, pulling him into a tight hug, almost frightened to let go. As my eyes looked out of the window at the scenery passing us by I felt a tightening in my chest and water started to well up in my eyes.

I didn't want to cry, I really was too tired to cry any more. My own wants were getting in the way of my judgement and because I was just too scared to actually come to a decision I was hurting everyone I loved in the process.

It was a small service, I didn't want too many people crowding around me and fussing. It was something I could do without today.

As the car drove up to the large white gates I swallowed hard.

We were here and the service was going to start in less than fifteen minutes. Fifteen precious minutes was all I had left and then everything would be gone.

My whole life would turn on it's axis once again.

As I stepped out of the car Misty, Brock, Dawn and May rushed over to me to make sure I was okay. I was greeted by a suffocating hug by the redhead, who seemed rather emotional.

"Ash... remember that whatever you decide today I will support you,"

I nodded weakly, knowing that all my friends felt the same way.

They all just wanted me to be happy once again, regardless to who I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

"Yeah, we all know how much Gary means to you," Brock comforted.

"So, we all want you to make the right decision," Dawn joined in.

I smiled, loving how I had so much support right when I needed it most. Pikachu sat comfortably on my shoulder, getting just as emotional as everyone else. I could almost feel his sadness radiating into me.

"It's not like you won't ever see us again!" May beamed happily, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Exactly, we have phones and we can easily just go to Sinnoh to visit you," Dawn agreed.

It wasn't just that though, it was leaving my Mom so soon, just after I had said goodbye to her that was breaking my heart. I didn't want to stay here without Gary, I really didn't, but I was worried about leaving her all alone.

As Misty let go of me she placed her hands on my shoulders and looked directly at my face. Her eyes were welling up with tears as she smiled at me.

"Now, let's go to the service. We will all be with you, every step of the way," I nodded and smiled.

As I turned to walk into the large building I noticed that Gary and the Professor had already decided to go inside.

As all five of us trudged towards the service I could not help but slowly feel everything crashing down around me, my perfect life with Gary was starting to become nothing more than a faded memory.

The first thing I saw when I entered was Mom's coffin situated on a sort of podium at the front of the room with red curtains drawn back all around. There were chairs situated on either side of the room and because I was the only family she had left I was allowed to sit right at the front.

Gary and the Professor were also allowed to sit with me, which was comforting.

The Priest gave me a small smile as I sat down, as if he was feeling sorry for my loss. I didn't need his sympathies, or anyone else's for that matter.

The girls and Brock sat behind us, and soon we were ready to commence. It really was a small service but it was what I wanted, I didn't want a big fuss made, after all, Mom never liked stuff like that.

"We are gathered here to say farewell to Delia Ketchum and to commit her into the hands of God..." The Priest started speaking making me swallow hard.

Pikachu sat in my lap listening intently to the entire service.

I glanced across at Gary to see his head was bowed down, was he upset?

"Lord our God, you are the source of life. In you we live and move and have our being. Keep us in life and death in your love, and, by you grace, lead us to your kingdom, Through your Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen."

Everyone one of us muttered the words 'amen' afterwards and I could feel the atmosphere in the room almost suffocating me to death.

It was horrible, I knew that my Mom was lying in that coffin just out of reach, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Closing my eyes I took a deep breath to remain calm, I didn't want to cry again.

"Let us pray." The Priest said quietly making everyone of us close our eyes and put our hands together, even Pikachu joined in.

"Our Father in heaven, we thank you that, through Jesus Christ, you have given us the gift of eternal life. Keep us firm in the faith, that nothing can separate us from your love. When we loose someone who is dear to us, help us to receive your comfort and to share it with one another. We thank you for what you have given us through Delia. We now entrust ourselves to you, just as we are, with our sense of loss and of guilt, When the time has come, let us depart in peace, and see you face to face, for you are the God of our salvation. Amen."

I bit into my lip as I struggled to stay calm.

It really was a horrible gut wrenching feeling, and I just wanted it to go away.

My eyes stung with tears that threatened to escape my eyes and out of comfort I reached out and grabbed Gary's hand. He looked across at me for a moment before he smiled and squeezed my hand.

That was all I needed.

"Here is a small poem that I shall read to all of you that Delia's beloved son wrote in loving memory,"

Again I swallowed hard, knowing that hearing this poem would definitely make me cry.

The Priest cleared his throat as everyone waited with bated breath for my poem, which I believed didn't even cut how I felt about my loss.

"God saw you getting tired, when a cure was not to be. So he wrapped his arms around you, and whispered, "come to me." You didn't deserve what you went through, so he gave you rest. God's garden must be beautiful, he only takes the best. And when I saw you sleeping, so peaceful and free from pain. I could not wish you back  
to suffer that again..."

I literally felt like all my life was being drained out of me as I trembled violently.

God... those words... hurt so much.

I could hear muffled cries and sniffles coming from behind me so I assumed the girls were getting emotional too. Even Pikachu was sobbing quietly, he obviously didn't want me to know though.

I squeezed Gary's hand as tears escaped my eyes and dribbled down my face.

I just wanted her back, I needed more time... more time for everything. My whole life was now crashing down all around me and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"And now let us all listen to Delia's favourite song..."

I cringed, knowing that I would just crumble and fall apart upon hearing the lyrics, lyrics that were so powerful and meant the world to me.

"The shadow falls on me today, why can't it fade into the distance?"

"And darkness calls, no other way, I rage at the riddle of existence."

"The day's almost gone, but you'll carry on, can you keep the flame for me? The day's almost gone, but you'll carry on. Can you keep the flame for me?"

"A broken plan, a fleeting past, how do we always keep on trying?"

"A tired man, is free at last. What would the purpose be of lying?"

"My life's almost gone, but you'll carry on. Can you keep the flame for me? My life's almost gone, but please carry on, could you keep the flame for me?"

"Will you keep the flame for me?"

As the last words played out to everyone I watched as the blood red curtains draped themselves across the coffin, shielding my Mom from all prying eyes.

That was it, it was all over...

Desperately I held Pikachu close to my chest with one arm while the other clung to Gary like a lifeline.

My body shuddered as realisation started to sink in.

Mom was really gone now, she was going to the afterlife where she wouldn't be suffering any more...

Tears continued to fall down my face and I was finding it harder to breathe.

Why was saying goodbye so painful?

I never wanted to say goodbye, because to me goodbye is the end. I guess a part of me hoped that she would wake up eventually and be back at home fussing over me.

No such luck, instead I was now doomed to make a life changing decision in a matter of minutes.

How could I decide right now?

My heart was literally tearing itself in two and all I wanted, all I needed right now was his support. Knowing that if I didn't leave straight away with Gary would mean I wouldn't see him again was breaking me even more.

I just could not handle it.

As everyone of us stood up the Priest gave a small bow, indicating that it was okay for us to leave.

I didn't want to leave, I wanted to stay here with her but I knew that it was hopeless.

Everyone walked ahead of me, as if they were all quickly trying to escape the tragedy, it was understandable I suppose. My footsteps were heavy as I was the last person to leave the large hallway, leaving my Mom for good, leaving her to rest in peace.

My eyes diverted across the array of pretty flowers that everyone had sent in loving memory of my Mom, including my own.

They all lay on a bed of soft white stones, glistening under a surprisingly warm sun. It was such a lovely day, I guess I half expected it to rain, at least then I knew the heavens were weeping with me.

Pikachu sat comfortably in my arms, pointing at the coloured flowers in joy. It seemed he too appreciated all the hard work everyone had put in.

Today had gone as well as it could have, given the circumstances.

"Ash?" Came a familiar voice.

As I turned around I saw Misty walking towards me, her face pained with confusion and worry.

"Yes, what's wrong?" I asked, not really sure if I wanted to know.

"Why are you still here?!" She exclaimed, making both Pikachu and I flinch.

God she could be so loud at times.

I shrugged, starting to feel sorry for myself.

"I wanted to look at the flowers... everyone really worked hard for today and I guess I just wanted to reflect on it a little..."

She sighed and placed a hand to her head.

"That's great and all... but, are you going to leave with Gary or not?!"

I blinked, now realising what she meant.

Oh shit yeah, I was meant to make a decision about that.

Looking down at Pikachu I watched as he nodded, he obviously didn't want to lose Eevee.

"I guess... I will..." I murmured.

"Oh my God... then why the fuck are you still here?! Gary's left already!" She literally shouted at me and then it all sunk in.

He left? Without even saying goodbye?! What?! That couldn't be right...

As I struggled to speak Misty piped up again.

"You better get going now! He left a few minutes ago so you might be able to catch him if you run"

My heart was literally thundering in my chest as realisation hit me like a rock in the face.

I didn't want Gary to go... never.

I nodded and smiled, happy that Misty was so supportive through it all, even if she never liked Gary she at least made the effort.

"Thanks Misty, I won't forget this!"

And with those words said I ran towards the large gates, leading out of the Crematorium.

I held Pikachu tightly as my lungs burned with every breath.

I hoped and prayed I wasn't too late, I didn't want to live a life without him. It just wasn't right, I needed him, after all he was my rock and he promised my Mom he would always be there for me.

That promise was not going to be broken.

Turning the corner of the street I stopped suddenly, trying to catch my breath.

I tried looking down the street, hoping I could see him somewhere.

As I squinted my eyes I saw a small figure fading into the distance and instinctively started running again. Right now I didn't care if I was out of breath or if my lungs felt like they were on fire, I needed to be with him.

Pikachu held on tightly as I ran, watching as the figure got closer and closer.

"Gary!" I screamed, hoping he would turn around.

And he did.

With Eevee in his arms he stood stationary and waited for me to catch up to him.

When I did it took me five minutes to get my breath back.

What can I say, I'm not the healthiest of people.

"Ash...?"

He seemed confused to why I was here.

"I want... to go with you..." I struggled to speak, trying to get enough oxygen into my lungs.

His eyes widened as I said those words, it was like he didn't expect me to want to go with him.

"But... I thought you said..."

"Forget that, I know that I need you in my life, that is all that matters..."

Pikachu leapt out of my arms at the exact same time as Eevee, which allowed both of us to collide in a meaningful embrace that seemed to last forever.

Fingers buried in my hair he inhaled deeply, as if he was thankful for my decision, I just hoped I was making the right one.

"I love you so much Ash..." He soothed, holding onto me so tightly I thought I might snap in two.

I smiled, feeling tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes.

"And I love you too! So much..."

At that moment it felt like my life had tilted on it's axis, like one chapter of my book was over and now a new one had started.

A new beginning, perhaps that was what I needed, what we both needed. But there was one thing I was certain of, I was never letting him go. He was so precious to me and I know that Mom would have wanted this.

As long as I was happy then she would've been too.

Maybe she was looking down on me watching all this? Kind of funny really, still this was one chapter in my life was I was determined to never let it come to an end.

End


End file.
